Sweet Trouble (16 page)

“I can’t believe it’s gone,” Nicole whispered, sounding as stunned as Jesse felt. “Just like that.”

Claire stood between them, her arms linked with theirs. “No one was hurt. That’s the most important thing. The rest is just stuff and can be replaced.”

Jesse didn’t bother fighting the tears that flowed down her face. “
Good Morning America
isn’t going to be coming out now,” she said. “There’s not much of a story.”

Small business destroyed by fire. Who cared about that?

“It’s not the end of the world,” Nicole said. “We can fix this. We have insurance. We’ll rebuild. It will just take some time.”

Jesse didn’t say anything. What was the point? She’d come back to Seattle to prove something. She’d given herself six months to make her point—that she could be a viable part of the business, that she could make a difference. But with the bakery shut down, that was impossible.

“What are you going to do until then?” Claire asked.

“I don’t know,” Nicole admitted. “Oversee the building.”

It was the death of her dream, Jesse thought sadly. She would have to go back to Spokane and pick up her quiet life working in a bar. She would never get the chance to show that she had good ideas and could make a difference. She was—

“We can rent a kitchen,” she said without thinking. “We’d have to cut down on some of the items, but not all of them. We can get the word out about the location. And we can use this time to go live on the Internet. The CDs with all the programming and information is at Paula’s house. I could find a server in the morning. It wouldn’t take long. Then we would still have most of the business during the reconstruction.”

Nicole shook her head. “It would never work. Jesse, I know you keep pushing this, but it’s not possible. This isn’t the right time. You can’t ship baked goods across the country. They won’t pack well and even if you’ve solved that problem, they’ll be stale when they arrive.”

“Not if we use overnight shipping.”

“No one’s going to pay for that.”

“How do you know?”

Nicole pulled free of Claire and turned on Jesse. “Maybe in your pretend world at community college they will. But not out here. No one is going to spend all that money to get brownies or a cake to Cleveland.”

“You don’t know that,” Jesse said, frustrated by Nicole’s constant refusal to admit her plan could work. “I did a lot of research and it wasn’t in the pretend world. I checked out how other companies with delicate products did it. Yes, having to pay overnight will cut into sales, but it won’t eliminate all of them. The start-up costs are so minimal, it’s crazy not to try.”

“I have spent years in this business,” Nicole snapped. “I know my customers.”

“You know the people who come into your store. You don’t know the rest of the country and I don’t know why you won’t consider the possibility. There is more to life than just what you see.”

“I’m aware of that,” Nicole said through obviously clenched teeth. “But what you want is impossible.”

“Because you say it is. You won’t even try.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Claire said as she released both of them. She stepped in front, then turned to face them. “No more fighting. Not tonight. We’ve been through enough as it is.” She looked at Nicole. “It’s going to take a while to get everything figured out. The cause of the fire, designs for a new place, construction. We’re talking months, maybe a couple of years. I don’t know. In the meantime, you have employees. Are you going to let them go?”

Nicole shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s all too much right now.”

“I agree,” Claire said. “But Jesse’s right. A rented kitchen is a fast way to get going and there isn’t much in the way of start-up costs. The same with the Internet sales. If she has a Web site ready to go, we only have to deal with hosting. That won’t cost much. So what if the sales aren’t spectacular? There will be some and at the very least, you can keep a few employees on.”

Nicole sighed. “You’re right.”

“I know. As to the rest of the business, what about selling to restaurants locally? Have you ever looked at that market? Between the cake and the brownies, you should be able to generate some interest.”

Jesse glanced at Claire. “Restaurants? I never thought of that.”

“Me, either,” Nicole admitted.

“I am so much more than a pretty face,” Claire told them. “You need to remember that.”

That made Jesse smile.

Nicole laughed. “Fair enough. We’ll start by finding a kitchen to rent and get the Internet site up and running. I need to call everyone and let them know what’s happened. What time is it?”

Jesse glanced at her watch. “Nearly three.”

“Sid will be getting here soon.” Nicole sighed. “This is going to be hard for all of us.”

Jesse didn’t say anything. While she was pleased that Nicole had finally come around, she resented that her sister would consider the idea of a rented kitchen when Claire mentioned it, but not when she, Jesse, did.

There was a loud crack as another beam fell. Jesse blinked against the smoke and wondered what the fire department would say was the cause. Old wiring maybe. A faulty piece of equipment. The place had been around forever.

“Nicole? Jesse?”

Jesse turned and saw Sid walking toward them. He was dressed all in white, with a clean apron in his hands.

“What the hell?” he asked.

Jesse and Nicole moved toward him.

“No one was inside,” Nicole said. “We’re still not sure how it started. I was going to call, but I don’t have anyone’s number with me.”

Sid stared at the smoldering flames. “I can’t believe it. The whole thing is gone.”

“We’re going to rent a kitchen,” Jesse told him. “It will take a couple of days to get up and running.”

“What?” Sid shook his head. “Right. Yeah, rent a kitchen. That makes sense. Jesus. How does something like this happen?”

They didn’t have any answer. Instead they talked quietly until more employees arrived, then went through everything with them. Jesse huddled in the darkness, cold and exhausted, but not ready to leave. Around four, Matt showed up, carrying containers of coffee.

Jesse hurried toward him, pleased he’d come. “What are you doing here?” she asked, wishing she could throw herself at him. Right now she could use a good holding. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“I guessed you were still here,” he said as he handed out coffee. “I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I came to see if I could help.”

She took the coffee he offered. “Thanks.”

He looked around at the smoldering ruin. “They couldn’t save any of it? That must have been some fire.”

“It was incredible.” Jesse didn’t want to think about all they’d been through. She was exhausted and not feeling up to coping, even though there was so much to do. She sipped the coffee and felt the warmth spread through her.

“Nicole’s insured, isn’t she?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll be able to rebuild, but it’s going to take a while.”

“I know. We’re coming up with a plan now.” She suddenly had to struggle to keep her eyes open. “Sorry. I’m not feeling too perky.”

“A delayed reaction to stress and shock,” he said and took her by the arm. “Come on back to my place. You can shower and get some sleep. I’ll bring you back here later to pick up your car.”

“I should just go back to Paula’s.”

“It’s four in the morning. You’ll wake everyone.”

Oh, right. Good point. “Let me tell Nicole and Claire.”

She spoke with her sisters, then allowed Matt to lead her to his car. It was a sleek Mercedes two-seater that probably cost more than she’d made in the past five years.

“You’ll need a different car,” she mumbled as she put her coffee in the cup holder, then fumbled with the seat belt. “Kids need to be in the back. It’s the front-seat air bag.”

Matt smiled at her. “Interesting subject change. I’ll keep that in mind. You going to be okay for the trip back?”

“Uh-huh. I just need a shower and a chance to rest.”

Normally she would have skipped the shower, but she smelled like smoke. She didn’t need the visceral reminder that her dreams had gone up in flames.

“Maybe not,” she murmured. “If we do the rental kitchen and the Internet sales, I still have a chance.”

“At proving yourself?” he asked as he pulled into the quiet street and headed for his place.

“Uh-huh.” She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. “I gave myself six months to get it right. Did the fire have to be now? Couldn’t it have been a year from now?”

“It’s not personal, Jess. It’s just one of those things.”

“It feels personal. The fire hates me.” She was starting to drift. “Nicole still hates me, but Claire’s making her try out some of my ideas.”

“Your sister doesn’t hate you.”

“Ha! A lot you know. You still hate me, too.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You’re mad. I can tell you’re mad. But you’re doing better with Gabe and he matters a lot more than me.”

“Because you love him?”

“He’s my son. I would die for him.”

The car stopped. Jesse opened her eyes to see if they were already at Matt’s place, but they were just stopped at a light. She glanced at him and found him staring at her.

“What?” she asked.

“You’re not what I expected.”

“You didn’t expect me at all. I’m a surprise.”

“In more ways than you know.”

“You awake enough to manage?” he asked as he set several very fluffy towels onto the marble counter. “I don’t want you drowning in my shower.”

“Me, either.” She eyed the controls. “How do I turn it on?”

He went to a control panel on the wall. “Twenty minutes enough?” he asked.

Shock made her feel more awake. “You have a remote control
shower?
”

“There’s a control panel inside as well. This sets the temperature, the water pressure, how many of the jets are to be used. I’m giving you the works. You’ll like it.”

He disappeared into a stadium-size closet and returned with a terry-cloth robe. “Leave your clothes here. I’ll toss them in the wash while you’re sleeping.”

“Such service,” she said lightly, trying not to think about being naked in Matt’s house or who else had worn this robe. Did he have it laundered after each use or were there Electra cooties still on it? She decided it would be better not to ask.

He pushed a button and the water in the shower came on. “Just leave your clothes next to the towels,” he told her and left.

She stared after him. There was a time he wouldn’t have left. When him joining her in the shower wouldn’t have been a question. Of course, that had been a long time ago, when they’d both still been in love and all that mattered had been being together.

She missed that. She missed a lot of things.

Jesse stripped quickly, left her clothes where he’d said and stepped into the shower. The water was hot and steamy and seemed to come from every direction. Sore muscles were soothed, smoke washed away. It was a little piece of heaven.

Fifteen minutes later she was clean and smelled like his shampoo and soap. She managed to turn off the water before stepping out and grabbing one of the towels. Her clothes were gone, which meant Matt had been in the bathroom while she’d been in the shower. Had he looked? Or maybe he hadn’t even been tempted. She hated that she even wondered.

It had been a long time for her…five years to be exact, but that wasn’t the reason she kept thinking about them being together. It was more because Matt had been the only one to touch her soul. She’d loved him and that had made all the difference.

She finished drying off and picked up the robe. It smelled of fabric softener rather than someone else, which was good. She didn’t want to think about the other women in his life.

She put on the robe and used the blow-dryer to get most of the wetness out of her hair, then walked into the bedroom from the bathroom. Matt did the same from the hallway, carrying a mug of coffee. He handed it to her.

“I put your clothes in the wash,” he told her.

“I saw that. Thanks.” She sipped the coffee, feeling awkward and exhausted. The night was a blur of fire and smoke and shattered dreams. Except maybe she still had a shot at her dreams. Maybe it was all going to work out.

There was so much to do, so much to think about. She set down the coffee and rubbed her temples. “I think my head is going to explode.”

“You don’t want that,” Matt said. He guided her to the bed. “Come on. Try to sleep. At least for a couple of hours.”

He pulled back the covers. The sheets were beige and striped and looked expensive. Had he bought them himself? Did he have a designer or did one of his women take care of that sort of thing. Maybe the nice secretary she’d met at his office helped out. And how many women had there been in the past five years? A few? Many? Herds?

How could he have done that? Slept with them? Hadn’t he missed her at all? Hadn’t he loved her like he said, or had they just been the age-old words men had uttered since the beginning of time to get what they wanted?

“Don’t cry,” Matt said, touching her cheek and wiping away tears she hadn’t felt fall. “You have a plan with the bakery. That’s what matters.”

She nodded, because speaking seemed impossible. Besides, what was the point? He actually thought she was only upset about the bakery. How just like a guy.

“I’m just tired,” she managed to murmur. “It’s a lot to take in.”

He nodded and stepped back.

She stood by the bed feeling broken and alone, knowing she’d better get used to this because it wasn’t going to change. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized that talking about the bakery and making it there, reconciling with Nicole, had all been crap. Sure, it was important, but it hadn’t been the real reason she’d come back. She’d come back for Matt. She’d come back to see if there was still something between them because she couldn’t seem to move on. No other man had interested her and plenty had tried. She’d come back to see if he still loved her.

Looks like she had her answer.

It shouldn’t hurt so much, she thought, even as pain sliced through her. She shouldn’t be surprised. He’d never come looking for her, so of course he’d moved on. Still, a part of her had wondered if maybe, deep down inside, he’d felt it, too.

She’d been a fool.

There was no way she was going to sleep now, but her clothes were in the wash, so she was stuck for the next hour or so. Better to be alone in his bed than trying to make conversation with him.

“Do you have a T-shirt or something I can borrow?” she asked, hoping the twisting in her stomach went away soon.

He went into the jumbo closet and opened a built-in drawer, then returned with a soft, well-worn Seahawks T-shirt. He started to hand it to her, then swore, tossed it on the bed, grabbed her by the collar of the robe, dragged her close and kissed her.

It wasn’t a gentle kiss. It was determined and hungry, taking as much as it offered. He used his lips to claim her, his tongue to arouse her and, dammit all to hell, it worked.

She found herself straining toward him, kissing him as intensely as he kissed her. She put her hands on his shoulders, then his upper arms and felt the strength of him. The fire she remembered returned, consuming them both. He broke the kiss and stared at her.

“You’re just standing there, so calm and reasonable,” he said, his eyes dark with passion. “You’re naked, Jess, and that’s not something I can ignore.”

“I’m wearing a robe.”

“
My
robe. How do you think that makes me feel?”

His? Not one of the girls’?

The pain in her stomach faded as if it had never been. “I can solve the problem of the robe,” she murmured and shrugged out of it.

The heavy fabric fell instantly, pooling at her feet. His breath hissed, then he was touching her everywhere, his hands skimming her body. She gave herself over to him, kissing him, touching him, feeling the hard planes of his body, so wonderfully familiar.

He pulled back enough to jerk open his shirt. Buttons popped and scattered. He threw the ruined shirt on the floor, quickly removed his shoes, socks, jeans and briefs, then grabbed her around the waist and tumbled them both onto the bed.

They landed on the soft sheets, legs tangling, bodies touching. His erection pressed against her bare belly, his mouth on hers, his hands reached for her breasts. Heat was everywhere. She was already wet and swollen, just from being close to him. She felt herself drowning in sensation. The combination of past and present was too much, and exactly what she wanted.

He shifted so he could brace himself on the mattress, then gazed down at her. “You’re so beautiful,” he said as he stroked her hair. “You haven’t changed.”

There were a few changes, she thought, but they were mostly on the inside and she didn’t want to talk about them.

“Matt,” she said, loving the sound of his name.

He rubbed himself against her thigh, then groaned. “You’ve always had that power over me. What is it?”

“I don’t know. Chemistry.”

“Something.”

He bent down and took her nipple in his mouth. The combination of tongue and lips caused her to arch her back. Her body clenched in anticipation. Wanting built, along with pressure.

He moved to her other breast, pushing her further along the road. She squirmed as her body began to remember how good all this could be. He licked her tight nipple, then sucked, causing her to gasp.

Each time he drew her deeply into his mouth, there was an answer pulse low in her belly. A flare of desire. She began to shift her hips, trying to hurry him along. Preliminaries were nice, but it was like being at a cocktail party when she was starving for dinner.

She could feel how swollen she was. Long dormant parts were insistent that it was time. She wanted to come, but it wasn’t so much about the orgasm as it was about coming specifically with Matt. She wanted to know if it was still the same between them.

“Be in me,” she breathed.

If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. His dark gaze found hers for a second, then he nodded. He opened the nightstand drawer, pulled out a condom, then put it on.

She parted her legs and braced herself. Did that part shrink from lack of use? Had having a baby made anything different? Was there—

He pushed against her. Despite being wet and ready, she was tight, she thought as he eased inside. Tighter than she remembered.

Inch by inch he filled her, stretching her. Nerves began to quiver, then dance as he rubbed them, going deeper and deeper. It was as if he could go deep enough to touch her soul.

She pushed down as he pushed in, taking all of him, feeling full for the first time since…since…since the last time.

He withdrew and thrust in again. Her body tensed, prepared for release. While Jesse knew it was going to be good, she was almost disconnected from the process. Because this moment wasn’t about sex for her. It never had been. It was about finding the connection with the only man she’d ever loved.

Everything was different, she thought sadly. Everything was technically better. His pace, the intensity. He shifted so he was able to reach between them and rub that one swollen spot. It pushed her over the edge in a matter of seconds. Even as her orgasm claimed her, she knew it was as much about technique as anything else.

Then she was lost in the wave and nothing else mattered. There was only the release and all that went with it. She came and came as he filled her and withdrew. The pleasure was endless, causing her to hang on to him, gasp for breath.

When he came himself, she allowed herself to believe it was just like before. That they were together and he loved her and nothing else mattered. It was a beautiful dream that ended when her body was finally still.

He withdrew, then stretched out beside her. They faced each other as they had dozens of times before. She wanted to believe she saw something in his eyes, something that meant he’d felt the pull from the past, too. But she knew that was just wishful thinking on her part. Nothing more.

“That was unexpected,” he told her. One side of his mouth turned up. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Me, either.”

He touched her cheek, a tender gesture that made her throat get all tight. “Jesse…”

She waited, not breathing, praying that he would say something, anything, to make her believe that there was still a spark between them. That he regretted letting her go all those years ago. That he’d been wrong to judge her and wanted to make it up to her.

He withdrew his hand.

“I’m sorry about the fire,” he told her.

Right. The fire. For a few minutes, she managed to forget the destruction. She rolled onto her back and pulled up the covers.

“We have a plan. We’ll see how well it works.”

“You’ll figure it out,” he told her.

She nodded. At least thinking about the five million things she had to do so the business could be up and running again meant she didn’t have to think about Matt. Business was a whole lot easier to deal with.

“I can’t believe Gabe and I were here last night,” she said. “It feels like weeks ago.”

“Thanks for bringing him over. I want to get to know him more.”

She looked at him and smiled. “You were doing much better.”

“He’s a good kid.”

The right words, but did he mean them? Did he see Gabe as his child yet? Had being apart for those first few years destroyed the relationship they should have had? Was that her fault?

She’d always comforted herself with the fact that she’d been very clear about the baby being Matt’s. He’d been the one to refuse to believe her. But now she wondered if she’d tried hard enough. He’d complained that she hadn’t bothered to tell him after Gabe was born. Maybe he had a point. Maybe she should have called or something. Not that he would have listened, but she could have tried harder.

“Do you want to try some one-on-one time with him?” she asked. “You could take him to the aquarium.”

Matt sat up. “Am I ready for that?”

“Probably not, but you’re only going to get ready by doing it. The aquarium gives you something to talk about. He’s small, he won’t last long before getting tired. You’ll spend more time driving there and back than actually looking at the fish.” She frowned. “I guess you’ll have to borrow my car, or your mom’s.” She smiled. “Hers is newer and probably less embarrassing for you.”