Sweetest Kill (3 page)

Dean stays for a while
longer. We just talk. Not about anything in particular, just random thing we
like and dislike. He tells me he is an only child, that his mother was a single
mother.

He thinks very highly
of her, which I find really sweet.

He’s 28. Never went to
college, he has had the same job (that he still does not give me details on) for
10 years, he only works a few days a month. Oh and he loves to work out. Shocker.

He asks me about
college, I tell him I have no plans to go. He was one of the few people outside
of Jaxon to tell me that it really was my choice and tells me not to let anyone
make me feel bad about that.

When everything is put
together I kind of feel a pang of sadness. I really like having Dean here, and
I knew that now he would probably go.

Sure enough

He stands up and heads
towards the front door. “Well, I think you are all set now. I am sure I will
see you around.”

            “Thank you
so much for your help, seriously Dean you are a lifesaver.” I smile opening the
door to show him out.

“Anytime, if you need
anything” he points to his door across the hall “you know where I am.” He leans
in and places a kiss on my cheek, lingering for just a moment

He straightens up and
walks through the door “bye” I say

“See ya” he smiles

I close the door and
just stand there for several moments. When I hear his front door click shut a
few moments later I feel two emotions.

Excitement and Fear.

This is new. I resent
my parents for not letting me date growing up. I could sure use some boy knowledge
at this very moment.

Not boy. No, everything
about Dean was very grown up. Which scared the hell out of me.

I didn’t see Dean for
the rest of the week. I had a lot of photography jobs, each time I opened my
door I looked towards his.

Part of me wished I was
brave, that I could just go over to his door and knock. Ask him how he was
doing. Ask to borrow a screw driver. I didn’t know what I wanted, I just wanted
to see him again.

But I was cursed with
being the shyest person ever apparently. I have never had an issue with talking
to people. Dean changed that. The butterflies that I had while he was in my
apartment last week were ridiculous. I felt like at any moment I was going to
explode.

He just made me feel so
many things and I liked it. But I didn’t know how to go further, I didn’t know
how to do any of this.

I was getting ready to
head out my front door to on my way to Jaxon’s. He and Joss came back the night
before and he called to tell me that Joss needed “Auntie Liv” time, apparently
she had asked for me every day they were gone.

As soon as I grab my
keys and open the front door and step through, Dean’s door opens.

Walking out, giggling
was a tall brunette “stop baby, you’re going to make me late.” She purrs

Baby?

I turn to lock my front
door quickly. My stomach is starting to hurt. I don’t know why. It’s not like
Dean and I are dating or anything.  I was dumb to think that a guy like him
would look at a girl like me for real. I mean he was 28. 20 year old girls
didn’t catch the eye of guys like him.

He was hot, he could
have anyone he wanted.

But I thought that I
felt something between us when he was in my house.

He seemed interested.
He seemed to be fighting it, but he seemed interested.

He told me I was the
most beautiful girl he had ever seen. .

He kissed me

This is one of those
times where I really I again resented my parents, if they had allowed me to
date boys growing up I wouldn’t have been dumb enough to start crushing on the
first man who paid attention to me. If they had let me be normal I wouldn’t
feel like I was going to throw up and cry at the very same time.

I’m just an idiot.

The brunette walks by
me out the front door, smiling at me as she passes by, I watch her walk out.

She’s perfect. She’s
tall, she has really big boobs and she doesn’t have an ounce of fat on her. Of
course he would be with someone like her.

I look back at Dean’s
door quickly, noticing that he still standing there.

He hadn’t realized I
was standing there just yet. When the girl had walked by, he had still been on
the other side of the door.

He wasn’t wearing a
shirt, he looked like he had just been in the shower, his hair was wet and
droplets of water were running town his torso.

He had tattoos all
over, more than what I had seen the first day we met, when his sleeveless top
had covered all but his arms.

When he finally notices
me standing there staring at him outside of my door, he stiffens, a look of
shock and a brief moment of disappointment crossed his features.

“Hey Olivia.” He says
in a tight voice

I wave “Hey Dean.”

I look down, reaching
into my purse for my keys to my car. Or a distraction from standing there and
feeling his gaze.

“How have you been?” He
asks

I look up “great,
everything is finally unpacked, huge relief” I laugh

He smiles, but it seems
off. Not the same as it was the day we were together last.

I stand for another
moment, shifting from one leg to another. Nerves are starting to scream ‘move’

He clears his throat “I
was um, wondering…” he drifted off

He looks down at his
feet and then back to me “if you wanted to hang out sometime this week. We
could order a movie and some pizza or something?”

He was asking me to
hang out?

I look back up to him
his expression seems hopeful

I suddenly look back
towards the front door where his date just left. He just had another girl with
him, I didn’t like the feeling I had when I realized that he was seeing someone
else. I didn’t have expectations, but I did feel a little sad that the hope I
had felt all week was dashed just moments before at the site of them together.

Dean picks up on my
issue “I didn’t realize you saw her.” His voice low

I cut him off before he
could say anything else “I don’t know what I am doing this week Dean, I will
probably be really busy but I’ll let you know or something.”

I open the front door
and walk out. I hear him call my name, asking me to wait but there really was
no point was there? I mean Dean wasn’t a single guy and clearly I had way too
many emotions to be spending time with a guy like him.

The only person who was
having issues here was me. I had to get over those.

When I get to Jaxon’s I
am so excited to see Joss. I haven’t even turned off the engine, before she
comes barreling out the front door wearing a princess dress, with a wand in
hand waving around

“Auntie Joss, Auntie
Joss I missed you so much.”

I reach down and pick
her up “I missed you too baby, how Florida was?”

“It was fun, Grammy
bought me a new princess dwess.” She beams

“Well it’s the most
beautiful dress yet J, your other dresses are going to get jealous.” I laugh,
carrying her into the house to see my brother

Jaxon is on the phone
when I walked through the door. I grab my mail that is sitting on the counter
like always. I had filled out a mail change form with the post office, but some
things clearly didn’t transfer over.

Josslyn runs into her
room to find another new toy to show me. When Jaxon gets off the phone he throws
a grape at me to get my attention

“What’s up with you
Liv?” he asks

I bite the bullet and
tell my brother about Dean. Jaxon and I don’t really keep much from one
another.

When I finish he is laughing

“I never thought I
would see the day when little Livvie would be coming to me with boy problems”
he laughs

I throw an apple from
the fruit bowl at him as Joss came running in

“Daddy” she says,
raising her little voice “leave my auntie alone.” Then she ran back towards her
room

“Yeah daddy.” I mock

“Seriously, though this
Dean guy seems like a bit of a player, you should probably stay away from him
Liv. I mean you can be friends with him, but it doesn’t sound like he is a one
woman kind of guy.”

I agree with him. Of
course I do. He would never steer me wrong, especially when it comes to a man.

I get up and walk into
Josslyn’s room. She’s playing with her Lalaloopsy dolls. I play with her for a
few hours, we have lunch and then I help her pack her bags so that she can have
her very first sleep over at my house.

I buckle Josslyn’s car
seat in, and before we pulled out of the driveway I glance in my rearview mirror
and watch her for a minute.

She isn’t paying
attention to me, she’s playing with her new Elsa doll “hey puppy” I ask she
looks up and smiles at the nick name alone. When she started to walk when she
was about a year old, she would walk and then get down on her hands and knees
and bark like a puppy. Jaxon started calling her ‘puppy’ and it’s pretty much
stuck ever since.

“Do you think we should
call Alexis and invite her to our little party?”

Instant squealing from
my niece “yeah and we can paint our toes.”

I smile

Alexis has been my very
best friend since I met her when I was in the 5
^th
grade. She went to
the same school as Jaxon I. Her family was loaded. I mean one of the riches families
in our town, which says a whole lot.

That being said, Alexis
was a stripper. Don’t get any bad ideas about her, she makes really good money
not that she needs it and she works in a really high end club where only the
wealthiest of men can enter. Her parents fought her on it for months, but it
made her happy so they eventually backed off. 

She was an amazing
girl, but she likes the boys. She always has. In high school she slept around a
lot. Not because she couldn’t find a boy she liked to stick with. No. That
wasn’t her reason for it at all, her issue was she was in love with a
particular boy who was very unavailable

My brother.

Jaxon knew she had a
crush but Alexis who was forward with every guy she met, never wanted Jaxon to
know how she felt about him.

When he dropped out she
didn’t really see him anymore. She only came around when Joss and I were alone
together at Jaxon’s or when she was only going to need to see Jaxon for small
moments.

The issue wasn’t Joss,
I think she felt that she wasn’t good enough for Jaxon.

I tried to get her to
tell him, I didn’t know if he liked her as well. It felt silly to ask my
brother if he liked my best friend, but she always refused. She said it would
make things weird.

As soon as I send
Alexis a text asking if she was interested in joining J and I, she calls me
back. I answer, putting her on speaker “Party time Joss? Of course I will
come.” She was play screaming into the phone

Josslyn’s face is
plastered with a huge smile as she starts clapping her hands in excitement
“bring your nail polish and slippers.” I tell Alexis “Joss and I will order
Chinese

“Okie dokie, I will see
you dolls in a few.” She agrees, ending the call

We pull up to my house
about 10 minutes later, I see Deans truck is still in the driveway, a black
Escalade SUV is now parked behind it. Dark tinted windows making the large
vehicle look like it belonged to someone important.

I pulled Josslyn’s
overnight back over my shoulder, then reached into the back seat to pull her
out. She had started to doze off on the way over after we were finished talking
to Lexie, so I carry her into the house.

When I open the front
door, Joss lays her head on my shoulder, her arm wrapped around my neck half
asleep I pull out my keys and head to my door.

Just as I stick the key
into the dock, Dean’s door opens and a man in an expensive suit comes walking
out, Dean behind him

“I’ll see you.” The man
spots me and Joss and smiles “you must be Olivia, Dean was just telling me
about you.”

I nod “hi?” I say
confused as to who he is

The man laughs reaching
out his hand “I’m Ryan, Dean’s older and better looking brother.” Flirting,
apparently it’s hereditary

I shake his hand “I’m
Liv.” I smile letting go of his hand to unlock my door and get Joss inside

I look back at Dean,
who doesn’t seem impressed with his brother’s flirting.

Ryan looks at me “who
is this little cutie?” gesturing to Josslyn

“This, is my niece.”  Leaving
it at that.

“Not much of a talker
are you Olivia?” Ryan asks

“No, I am I just don’t
know who you are.” I laugh embarrassed

He doesn’t get a chance
to say much else, Alexis comes walking through the front door at that very
moment, seeing us all in the entry way.

She smiles when she
sees Joss and I, Joss hears her coming and lifts her head up suddenly wide
awake. She wiggles for me to let her down and runs over to Alexis who picks her
up right away and hugs her.

Alexis looks at Ryan,
Dean and then me lifting a brow at me in question

She looks back to Ryan
“I know you, Ryan Corvus right?”

He looks at her and
smiles “yes, I have seen you as well you work at Mark’s right?”

Alexis nods

Dean takes this chance
to get his brother’s attention “all right Ry, leave the ladies alone I will
call you later when I have more information about what we talked about.”

Ryan looks back at me
and smiles “it was so nice to meet you Olivia, my brother has mentioned you a
few times this week.”

I look back at Dean who
offers a small almost insecure smile.

 “Are you sure he was
talking about me?  I am pretty sure he was probably talking about the girl
leaving his apartment this morning.”

Dean grips his door
knob

Ryan just laughs “yeah
Dean, I see what you mean now.”

He smiles again and
heads out the door

I turn my back to Dean
and open the door, opening it wide for Alexis and Josslyn to come through

As soon as they step
through I move to close the door but Dean sticks his boot blocking, so that I
am unable to shut the door.

“Can we talk for just a
second Olivia?” he whispers

I look pleadingly at
Alexis to step in and give an excuse on my behalf, but she doesn’t know about
the Dean drama.

I had told her about
the sexy neighbor the very night that he and I met but she didn’t know about
the girl leaving this morning or just how I couldn’t get him out of my mind.

“Fine” I sigh stepping
back into the hall and closing my door behind me “what’s up?”

He looks back at his
place “what you saw this morning, I didn’t realize you would be out here.”

“Dean, seriously it’s
okay” I laugh “I don’t know why you have to apologize to me for having a
girlfriend.”

He looks down at his
hands before he shoves them into the pocket of his jeans

“I don’t have a
girlfriend.” He says not meeting my eyes

“Okay, well fuck buddy,
friend with benefits I don’t know what you call her, it’s honestly none of my
business we barely know each other you don’t owe me an explanation.” I reply

“I do Olivia, I do owe
you an explanation, but I can’t even give you one.”

I shake my head “that
doesn’t even make sense Dean, I don’t even know you why would you need explain
who you sleep with.”

“Because since the
moment I saw you, I wanted you and there is no place in my life for someone
like you.”

Insults. They always
help

“Well, thanks I am glad
we cleared that up.” I say taking a step back towards my door

“Stop Liv I am trying
to talk to you.” He reaches for my arm “I can’t pretend that I am a good guy, I
don’t date. I have never even met a girl I wanted to date before you, but I
can’t be with you. Not in the way that you deserve.”

“What makes you think I
would want to be with you?” I ask

“The way that you
looked at me the other day when I told you how beautiful you were, and the way
that you looked at me when you saw Stella leaving my apartment this morning.”

Stella, she has a name
of course it would be a beautiful name

“So then why all this
chattering, you made it clear I am not good enough for you so let’s move on we
are neighbors it’s all good we are going to see each other here and there no
need for hard feelings.”

He sighs with annoyance
“I want to be with you Liv, seriously it’s the most fucked up thing I have ever
felt but I will rip you a part. I will break you into a million pieces with my
life and I can’t do that to you. I already feel way too much, none of this
would work.” He says gesturing between us

I nod my head not
looking at him.

There isn’t anything I
can say

“My life is a
complicated mess, you are way too perfect to be wrapped up in the choices that
I make.” His voice is quiet again, he takes a step towards me, bending his
knees slightly so that he is nearly nose to nose with me

His left hand reaches
up to tuck my loose hair behind my ear “I need to have you in my life though, I
haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the day I walked out of your
place.”

I nod again

“We can be friends, I
just can’t date you. I just need you to be a part of my life in some form. Do
you think you would be up for that?”

I think for a moment.
Can I feel all these feelings that are so new and still be just friends with
Dean?

I look up into his
crystal blue eyes. So full of emotions, none of which say he wants to be just
my friend

“We can try.” I agree

“Thank you.” He sighs,
leaning in and kisses my cheek

I turn and walk back
towards my apartment

“Well
friend
do
you want to come over and paint your toes and eat Chinese with us?” I ask

He laughs “sure, as
long as I don’t have to paint my toes pink.”