Sympathy for the Devil (15 page)

       Cari and I finished our food and talked generally about our upcoming exams. I understood she was giving me a reprieve before she’d demand answers again. Once we’d finished our greasy and satisfying kebabs, I cleared the food away and offered her a coffee. She asked for a hot chocolate and I obliged, indicating for her to sit in the living room.

       “Why don’t you have any pictures of your family?” she asked as soon as I handed her the mug.

       “Does that matter?” I replied, attempting nonchalance given I’d nearly tipped the drink in her gold-covered lap.

       “Well, yes. You live alone and I don’t see any pictures with your mum or dad or… Is that real?”

       She pointed to the Picasso sketch my mother had received as a wedding gift, which now hung pride of place above my closed fireplace.

       “I’m not a photograph person.”

       “I’m talking about family,” Cari insisted. “You don’t mention them ever.”

       “Does any bloke?”

       “I’m not saying I get around… but I get around. Everyone talks family. Everyone.”

       “Not everyone has the perfect familial relationship that you do,” I defended, feeling caged. I did not want to talk about any of this. At all.

       “You want to talk? Talk to me. Where does your mum live?”

       “Milan.”

       “Why Italy.”

       “She’s Italian.”

       “Is she blonde?”

       “Blonder than me.”

       Cari’s lips parted in surprise. “I’ve never thought of Italians as blond. And your dad?”

       “Very blond too. People used to say they looked like brother and sister.”According to my grandparents. No idea if it was really said. No one dared mention my parents’ marriage to my face any more.

       “How very
Game of Thrones
. Is your dad in Italy or here?”

       “My parents are divorced,” I said, my voice tight with irritation. I picked up my menthols and lit one unrepentantly. I didn’t smoke inside my flat. Always outside. I’d regret it in the morning. Like much of this conversation, I suspected. “They haven’t spoken directly to each other in about twelve years, therefore I highly doubt they’d be in the same city at the same time.”

       “Eight’s pretty young to watch a divorce play out. Didn’t they keep you out of it?”

       “No,” I snorted. “Course not. I was my mother’s trump card. The only legitimate Callun…” I bit my inner cheek. Cari noted my silence and placed her mug down. Within seconds, she’d perched on the arm of my chair and the sweetness of her perfume made the smoke curl acridly in my throat. Gently, she filtered her fingers through my hair.

       “What’s that supposed to mean?”

       I sighed. In for a penny… “While my mother did her duty by running our estate, raising me in our town house in London, my father decided to have an entire family in secret. Up in Scotland.” I couldn’t bring myself to look at Cari’s face, but her silence was most telling. “He married another woman and had three children with her. My mother had an idea he was seeing someone else, but she never suspected bigamy. When I said I didn’t have a brother or sister… I lied. I have two brothers and a sister. Complete opposites of me. Bordering on ginger,” I added distastefully. It stung even now. How I’d been abandoned for a set of people I’d never laid eyes on.

       “Do they…know about you?”

       “Mmm. Big brother Pierce, who brought the whole thing crashing down by telling Mummy where Daddy was, when he’d told her something else entirely. He got so caught up in his lies, he couldn’t keep track. Told me and my mother the wrong thing.”

       “He doesn’t blame you. He can’t!” she whispered.

       “They both did. For a while. More so when my dad had to do time for it. Unfortunately he came before a judge my grandparents had a falling out with some time ago. Threw the book at him for bigamy. My mother took everything in the divorce, in the interest of supporting me, naturally. I felt bad for them. The other kids, I mean. My dad had been supporting them. The other thing that caught him out, careless bastard. And they struggled. Really struggled to keep themselves going on only their mum’s salary. I talked to my mother. Got her to loosen the purse strings, considering they needed what she spent in Harvey Nichols in an afternoon every other day.”

       “You did that?”

       I extinguished my cigarette into my coffee. “I’ve said before. I’m not a complete cunt. It wasn’t their fault.”

       “And you don’t think of them as siblings?”

       “I don’t know them.” I shrugged. “I didn’t tease them growing up. I wasn’t forced to look after them while my parents went out for the night. I never knocked them out. Never had to hold their hands on the way to school. They’ve had nothing to do with me. What can I do?”

       “They’re your family. You can make the effort.”

       I stood up and rummaged in my jacket pocket for my phone. I unlocked it and scrolled through for a text message from my half-sister. “Here.”

       “She’s got your number!” Cari said with excitement. “That’s amazing!”

       “My dad gave it to her.”

       “And she’s used it.”

       “Only because she’s coming to London to look at universities.”

       “It’s an excuse! A first step to building a bridge. Look, she ends it with two hugs and two kisses.”

       I shook my head. “It won’t do any good. All it does it rake up the terrible choices my parents made.”

       Cari sighed loudly. “You don’t have to be alone. This whole existence you’ve made for yourself… It’s not good for you. You need people who care enough about you to tell you when you’re not doing the right thing.”She didn’t know the half of it. “Why are you alienating everyone?” she asked gently.

       “People leave, Cari. Easier to cut them out before they cut you too deep.”

       “What about West?”

       “He’s been the only constant in my life. He’s like a brother to me. What I do is look out for him. No one else will.”

       “He doesn’t need you making decision for him. That’s not friendship, that’s control.”

       I rubbed my eyes in frustration. She didn’t understand. I knew she wouldn’t. “You don’t know everything and that’s better for you, in your head, because it means you can see the best in everyone. You can’t live your life without some cynicism. People leave. People lie. People fuck you over.”

       She folded her arms, eyebrows lifted.
Here comes the sermon…
“You realise you’re not even talking about yourself in that little mantra? You could have gone with your mother to Milan. You didn’t have to talk to her about your brothers and sister. And they know enough about you to text you. With hugs and kisses. And updates. I saw, she sends texts to you all the time. You don’t have to keep up this hard boy image. You’re a big softy really.”

       “Cari,” I said her name on a laugh, pulling her into my lap. “You’re doing it again.”

       “You want me to think you’re a dick. You can be. But underneath all the bravado, you’re not. You’ve been hurt. And I can hold up my hands and promise you I won’t do the same to you. Unless you try it on me first, then I will gut you like a fish.”

       I believed her. In her beautiful face shone nothing but complete honesty. Cari Collins didn’t do fakery. It went completely against the grain. How had she ended up with me? Rather than answering, I pulled her closer, pressing my face into her neck and exhaling deeply. Regret mingled with contentment. What could I undo when it had led me right into Cari’s arms?

       “My chocolate’s getting cold,” she whispered, her mouth warm against my forehead.

       “Priorities, I see.”

       She grinned and leaned down to press her lips to my cheek. “Thank you for talking to me.”

       “Thank you for listening.”

       She scrambled off my lap. “Off to the loo. Chocolate
a la chaud, s’il vous plaît.
”

       “
D’accord
.” I answered wryly. Not too bad, I thought. Could have been worse.
Unless she’s climbing out the window...

      
She returned to the living room with a little skip. “Warm?”

       “Yes. God, you’re demanding.”

       “I’m used to getting my way.” She shrugged.

       “How come? You’ve got other siblings.”

       “Three,” she admitted. “Two brothers and one sister. Just like you. But I was the one who got sick and nearly died, so everyone is good with me.”

       I blinked. “What?”

       “Meningitis.” The one word had caused such panic at schools and universities, everyone had to have inoculations. “Could have completely fucked my GCSEs, but I’m a determined little bugger. I suppose that’s why I don’t mess around with people or their feelings. Not enough time in the world. Plus, no way was I going to die a virgin.”

       Unable to vocalise my horror, I simply stared at her. She’d been so close to death? In another world, I’d never met her. She hadn’t survived, and I’d never found a hint of salvation from someone willing to offer me her time.

       “I’m fine,” she assured me. “Obviously. Take that look off your face. Now. I get one of the other bedrooms, right?”

       The hell? “I controlled myself pretty well last time.”

       “I had nature’s chastity belt on last time.”

       Not entirely true… “Stay with me. I won’t lift the habit. I promise.”

       Appeased, she asked for a T-shirt to sleep in and I obliged her. While she readied herself for bed, I locked the flat properly and turned off all the lights. Washing up quickly and leaving on my boxer shorts, I eased under the sheets and double-checked my phone. Empty of messages from West, at the least. With a sigh of relief, I leaned back, only to sit bolt upright when Cari padded into the room and crawled over my sheets to snuggle underneath.

       “Nice mattress,” she said with approval. “Night, whore.”

       She pressed a light, minty kiss to my lips and fell asleep. Again with the puppy snores. Maybe I did need religion. Certainly it would help to pray to a higher power for strength of will.

       When Cari and I woke up the next morning, I was all but bouncing off the walls. I was with this fantastic girl, and getting reciprocal liking. After she excused herself to clean her teeth, I went all Jamie Oliver and made her an egg and bacon buttie with fresh juice. We sat on my bed, opposite each other as we ate, her leg affectionately rubbing my side every so often. “What are we doing today?” she asked after a king-size yawn.
We?
I thought, a silly grin stretching my face.
I like that.

       “Anything you like,” I replied, wiggling her big toe.

       “What do you want to do?”

       I guessed that saying
stay here and shag you stupid
wouldn’t come over so well, so I suggested, “We could go down to that Spanish place for lunch, then we could go food shopping. The delicacy you’re munching on now is what was left in the fridge. Then we could go out again, or we could download a film and stay here.”

       “Hmm,” she said warily, “not too sure about the last part.”

       “Hey, I was very good last night,” I reminded her.

       “I know you were.” She giggled. “But can you keep it up two nights in a row?”

       I leaned down and bit her toe gently, laughing at her squeals of protest. “They don’t call me Uni Casanova for nothing.”

       “God, that name is awful,” she breathed out, once she was calmer. “We’ll have to do something about it. Let’s go out tonight.”

       “Why?”

       “I’m much safer then.”

       Something twisted inside me. “From me?”

       “From me,” she said with a dry smile.

       I was about to demand an explanation as to what that meant when my mobile rang. I cursed whoever it was to hell and back. “Shouldn’t you answer that?” Cari asked with delicately raised eyebrows.

       I made a sound of irritation in my throat and snatched the phone up. I could have cried in frustration at the name on the screen. “Hi,” I said shortly.

       “Pierce,” Adele Cox breathed in surprise. “You’re up early.”Who the hell gave her my number?

       “Yeah, I’m sort of busy,” I prompted, looking at Cari, who was lying on her side running languid fingers through her hair. She caught me staring and stuck her tongue out at me.

       “Yes, I know. Probably with Cari,” she said impatiently, “but I wondered if you’ve talked to West?”

       “No, not since last night.” I caught Cari’s enquiring glance and decided to move into the kitchen. With the phone wedged between my shoulder and my ear, I made the pretence of taking the plates to the kitchen.

       “Why’s that a problem?” I asked Adele in the still hum of the kitchen.

       “Because I told him that Toni has been after you.”

       “Did you?” I said, feeling more tired than I had in my life.

       There was a split second I thought I could wrangle my way out of this, apologise to Toni, and make things right with West. I could have written off this obsession with splitting up a nice couple as a period of madness, madness cured by the incessant speech of a short, beautiful woman. But not now. Not since Adele opened her over-collagened mouth.

       “I was drunk and it just slipped out!”

       “So, what did he do?”

       “He yelled at me to explain myself, he saw you kiss Toni then he stormed out.” I released a breath and pinched the bridge of my nose hard. My God, I didn’t even touch the girl. She hugged me! “I’m sorry!” she wailed. “I didn’t mean to cause more trouble.”

       “Never mind,” I snapped. “Just keep this to yourself, for Christ’s sake.”

       “Yes, Pierce,” she agreed, contrite and obedient. “I’m really so—”

       I cut her off and stood in the silence, staring at my bare feet, listening to the refrigerator. I gazed around my flat in confusion, then realised why I was standing here on my own. For a moment, I envisioned Cari and me staying in the flat for the next two years. Not moving, not leaving, ordering everything by the internet and never speaking to either West or Toni again. It could work. If Cari had a lobotomy.

       “Is everything all right?” the lady in question asked, hovering in the doorway, her bare foot tapping a tattoo against the tiles. I guessed it to be an indication of concern. Not that I deserved it.

       “You look like you’re about to start dancing,” I said quietly, pointing at her foot.

       She smiled a little, sensing my distance. In the silence, I could hear The XX on the stereo in my bedroom. She closed the gap between us and gazed up at me. “What’s up?”

       I considered telling her the truth for a foolish minute. The moment passed, so instead I did what I’m exceptionally good at. “It’s my dad. He’s summoned me. My guess is, his latest bimbo has buggered off and he wants to lecture me on the wiles of women.”

       Okay, bad form, but considering Carina Collins stood in my kitchen, barely wearing a T-shirt, all fresh faced and wide eyed, I surprised myself by sounding as convincing as I did.

       She winced for me. “That doesn’t sound like much fun.”

       I reached out and linked my fingers with hers. “No.” I sighed, looking at her small feet. “Fun it certainly won’t be.”

       “Guess tonight’s off,” she said, as a matter of fact.

       I bit the inside of my lip hard before I could speak. “I’m sorry. I really wanted us to spend a couple of hours together without me bitching at you, or you snapping insults at me and now it’s all…” I broke off, and before I knew it Cari was in my arms, hugging me tightly.

       “How long will you be gone for?” she asked against my neck.

       “Hopefully by Monday at the latest.” It sounded right. I could go up there today and be back by the next evening if I flew. Suddenly it seemed like a very good idea.

       She pulled back. “Well. Call me when you do get back.”

       If only it were that simple. My arms hung lightly around her waist, and she had such an openly sweet, expectant expression on her face. I was reluctant to release her, let alone leave her for two days. For when I returned, it would be back to face Toni and West.

       “Pierce,” she said on a worried laugh, as if she could read my mind, “you’ll be back in a few days.”

       I glanced at a spot above her head. “If I was spending the weekend with anyone else but you, it wouldn’t piss me off so much.”

       “Awww,” she murmured, leaning up to kiss me briefly on the mouth, “I’m not going anywhere. You know you can call me if things get a little rough for you.”

       “I know,” I muttered, not deserving any sort of generosity on her part.

       “There you are then, strange child.” She chuckled, ruffling my hair.

       I pulled her right back into my arms and kissed her with all the sadness in me. A blanket of depression settled on me in light of the very real fact that after Monday, she would never want me to need her, would never want me to even talk to her. Cari mistook the basis of the kiss for passion, and was carried along with it, her hands in my hair, her body fitted tightly against mine. She was breathless when I lifted my head.

       “What time do you have to leave?” she asked.

       I glanced at the clock in the kitchen. “I’m going to book a flight now, so not for a couple of hours.”

       She smiled tremulously at me and entwined her arms about my neck. “Do you want to go back to bed, then?”

       It was as if the whole world suddenly stopped and asked me,
What did she just say?

       “Do you mean...” I trailed off, hardly daring to think that she may actually want to do what I thought. She stroked her hands over my face, the barest of smiles on her lips.

       Against my mouth she purred, “Communicating.”

       Every brain cell I had evaporated. She closed the millimetre gap between our lips in the softest of kisses.

       I tilted my head slightly so I could take more of her. She had the sweetest flavour to her; I could stand here and kiss her forever. Her arms slipped from my face to wrap around my neck as a gentle moan escaped from her throat. My hand trailed carelessly along her spine to pull her even closer as I eased past her lips and her tongue grazed over mine. I couldn’t remember if a kiss had ever turned me on like this. I never, ever imagined feeling this way about a girl, let alone this girl. My hands cupped her at either side of her ribs and she gave a muffled shriek at the touch. I started laughing against her mouth and she pulled back. I liked the sheen on her lips from our kiss.

       She frowned at me. “Are you laughing at me?”

       “Not at all.”

       “Do you want me to go?”

       “No,” I groaned. “No, no, no.” I felt a sudden desperate need to never stop touching her. “Don’t go anywhere.” I caught her by the bottom and lifted her up against me. She gave a squeal, digging her knees into my sides to hang on to me. There was a look in her eyes, like she was certain of what she was doing being here with me. I felt a tremor of fear inside me, knowing that look was going to disappear when she found out. I only had now. “Kiss me,” I commanded.

       She gave me a slow, sweet smile before kissing me deeply. I could feel her heat against my stomach, the hardness of her nipples grazing my chest through the fabric of my shirt. My pulse skitted, and my cock stiffened rapidly at the delicate scent of her arousal. I broke off the kiss and carried her to my bedroom with near-grim determination. Whatever she felt about me later, I was going to make her remember everything about right now.

       I placed her carefully on the bed and hovered over her, leaning on one hand to pull at the shirt. Obligingly she pulled it over her head. My cock leapt in absolute agony. She was so fucking beautiful. I touched her tentatively, half expecting her to disappear. The walnut colour of her skin took on a golden burnish as the sunlight sparkled over her body. Even her eyes turned a glittering hazel. I kissed her again, pulling her firmly beneath my body, swallowing her gasp. My hands cupped both breasts, just the perfect silken handful capped with nipples so deliciously dark. I leaned down to take one into my mouth, and it bulleted fiercely under the heat. I swept the underside of my tongue over it, and she started shaking, her legs tightening on either side of me, her fingers delving through my hair. I gave a little grin, knowing I could affect her like this.

       I glanced at her face. Her lashes were dark fans on her cheekbones, her pouty little mouth parted with sighs. I took a small bite into her breast and was nearly thrown off the bed by her bucking. I moved across to her other breast, dotting kisses over her breastbone, my hands meeting her rounded hips. She wore my boxer shorts. I delved between the buttons at the front and nearly burned myself on her heat. I couldn’t help the growl of satisfaction that came from me to find her so damn wet. I wanted to taste, I had to. I pushed myself downwards, pulling the boxer shorts determinedly with me. I threw them to a far corner of my room, watching Cari give me a playful grin.

       I kissed her knee, then trailed my mouth along her inner thigh, my fingers tickling that tiny pit behind her kneecap, and felt her shiver. I used my shoulder to spread her toned thighs further apart. She looked so delectable, glistening with creamy wetness, her lips swollen and puffy, a streak of pink at the centre. She had a beauty spot, right by her clit. Well placed. I took one slow lick, enjoying the honey sweetness of her, enjoying how she moaned, opening herself wider. I used two fingers to butterfly her pussy before giving it the same kiss I’d given her mouth, my tongue delving into her, before I latched onto her clit and nibbled gently.