Sympathy for the Devil (17 page)
You’re beautiful, so you’d be fine. You are a mouthy cow though.
Compliment and bitch slap. See we’re getting on fine!
We got on more than fine this morning.
I sent, every moment of our morning together playing tortuously in my head.
You’re much nicer after you come.
Carry on like that and you’ll never be reminded.
If it never happens again, it’s burned in my brain.
Standing out amongst the thousands! I feel very lucky.
What are you doing Monday?
I text.
You may take me to lunch,
she replied.
I’ll allow people to see me in public with you.
Now who’s lucky?
I’d learned the importance and sanctity of the truth following the end of my parents’ marriage. If I could get to Cari, speak to her face to face, explain myself rather than running away… She’d give me the chance.
West hadn’t spoken to me all weekend. I was worried. Really worried. The only certain thing was Pierce’s absence from London. Cari told me so in such a throwaway manner that worried me even more. I couldn’t control who knew what, or who’d find out what. Cari would never say a word to Pierce about what happened with Ben, unless I told her she could. But then again, she didn’t know what I’d done. Pierce did, the bastard who held my life in his hands. Despite the fact I made his friend happy. Sometimes. Most of the time. The only time we argued was about Pierce. Maybe not directly, but it started with him and his Shakespearean villain behaviour.
Rather than wait for the shit to hit the fan, I decided to see West. Waiting around was torture. Living my life in such a constant state of tension…I couldn’t do it anymore. After my mid-morning lecture, I went straight to West’s digs. I sat on the steps and waited for him to turn up. Truly, just sat there, no headphones, no music, no social media, no phone. Watched cars pass by. Thought about what my life would be like with no West. If only he hadn’t listened to Pierce. If only he’d trusted me. If only I trusted myself.
Come home,
I thought. And within five minutes, West rounded the corner. My heart leapt in joy. He looked terrible, like he hadn’t slept in days. His eyes met mine, but for the first time, he didn’t look happy to see me. The unease I’d felt since Saturday night intensified.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, flipping his keys into his palm. He sounded so dismissive, it brought tears to my eyes.
“You didn’t answer my calls.”
He gazed into the distance, taking a deep breath. “I was busy.”
“It would’ve taken you five seconds to send me a text message,” I argued. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer, only pressed his lips together and decided to mess around with his keys instead. For goodness’ sake! If he knew, why didn’t he say something to me?
“West, please. I can’t do anything unless you talk to me.”
“Is it true then?” he bit out.
“What?”
“Have you been fucking around with my best friend?”
The way he bellowed every word, it practically echoed across the road. “No!” I denied, my face contorted with disgust. The idea! “I’ve never even…”
“I saw you!” he thundered. “You hugged him. At the club on Saturday, I saw you hugging him. Like it meant something. What did it mean?”
Instinct told me to lie. Because he didn’t know. He had the wrong end of the stick, but if he ever got the right end, my relationship was over. “I was just being friendly.”
His eyes narrowed on me. “I don’t believe you. Something else is going on.”Something over his shoulder distracted him before he blurted, “Cari!”
I turned to see my friend with an armful of books. “What’s going on?” she asked slowly.
“Her.” West waved rudely in my general direction. “Fucking around behind my back.”
Cari’s face didn’t budge. Had it been another friend altogether, I’d have been done for. “Where would you get that idea from? You two are joined at the hip.”
“Saturday night.” West turned on me so fast, I jumped up a step. “Where were you?”
“I went home. I called you every hour the whole weekend, you know this!”
“You weren’t with Pierce?”
“A little bit difficult, when he was with me. At his place,” Cari intervened. “There’s nothing going on there. You need to calm down, because you’re being rude and you’re upsetting my friend.”
West ignored her. “I don’t believe either of you.”
“Because Pierce’s word is law,” Cari said, rolling her eyes. “He stayed with me.”
“Something’s not right there!”
Cari closed her eyes for a moment, while I shivered on the step. “Look, Pierce is here. He’ll tell you.”
My personal demon got out of his sleek car. His eyes travelled from me, to West, to Cari. And just like the latter, his face didn’t flicker once. The hell was that? Something they learned on their course?
Don’t,
I begged him, hoping it translated through my desperate gaze.
Don’t say a word. Please.
“Why are you having an ICC session in front of your building?” he asked West mildly.
West spun around so fast, for a moment I thought he’d hit Pierce. “Did you fuck her Saturday night?”
“What are you on? Have you taken something?”
“On Saturday night,” West’s voice rose, “did you fuck my girlfriend!”
“I haven’t touched your girlfriend. Calm the fuck down.”
“There,” Cari interrupted. “No one’s done anything. I’ll take an apology later.”
West raked Pierce with a distrustful gaze. “No, something isn’t right. Something happened at that club. Who was that bloke you were talking to before Toni hugged you?”
Pierce shrugged. “I don’t know who you mean.”
“I know him from somewhere. You said he’s a friend of yours and your ex. Ben, I think you said his name was.”
Cari glanced at me for a second, and that one glance conveyed everything. Her disappointment. Disbelief that I could be so stupid again.
I know!
I wanted to scream at her.
I can’t change it!
“Ben is a friend. That’s all.” Pierce lifted an eyebrow at me. “All right, there may have been a bit of an overlap with Ben and my ex. But it was finished before it even started.”
“And when was the last time you saw him? And I don’t mean Saturday night.”
“That
is
the last time I saw him.”
“What did you talk about?”
“I said I saw him, we didn’t talk.”
West rounded on Pierce. “Why didn’t you tell me anything?”
“I’m sorry, shall we replay the conversation where you told me to shut up about your girlfriend? I have kept my end of the bargain. I shut the fuck up about your girlfriend.”
“Fine. What do you know?”
“Ask her. Ask her as if she’s standing right in front of you and stop screaming at all of us. It’s beginning to wear thin,” Pierce said through his teeth.
“Well?” West demanded. “When did you last talk?”
“When… when we had that argument about…” My gaze flicked to Pierce, who sighed with impatience. “When we had that fight and I left. I saw Ben and we talked…”
“You fucked him, didn’t you?”
I covered my face with my hands and burst into tears.
West threw his bag of books into the pavement. “And you knew!”
I heard Pierce snap. “Cari didn’t know anything about it. But I’ve been telling you from the start. So leave her out of it.”
I looked up and saw Pierce standing between West and Cari. At that moment, I despised Pierce. He was everything that was wrong in my life. “If you’d stayed out of it, this wouldn’t have happened!”
He blinked at me. “Is it my fault you couldn’t wait to get back into bed with your ex?”
West’s face crumpled. “You… cheating… Jesus! We’re finished.”
“No!” I screamed, leaping on him and pulling at his clothes. “Don’t say that. We were working things out. It didn’t mean anything at all. If he hadn’t been in your ear, in Ben’s ear, it never would have happened.”
West thrust me away. “I mean it. We’re done. Fuck off.”
He snatched up his bag and stormed inside. Oh, God. Oh, my God… I collapsed onto the steps in shock.
Cari put her books down next to me. “Did you do this?” she asked Pierce, who rubbed his hair distractedly.
“What?”
“Did you. Do this?”She waved her fingers in my direction and where West had stood, spluttering his hatred of me. Oh, God!
“I didn’t make anyone do anything.”
“Let me rephrase. Did you
help
Ben to be available? And did you
tell
West that Toni was cheating on him? Or
would
cheat on him?”
He struggled for an answer. Cari nodded once in understanding and in a flash, Cari’s little fist shot out and I heard a sickening smack of flesh against flesh. I looked up and Pierce sat crumpled on the ground, cradling his jaw.
“Jesus!” he mumbled.
Cari picked up her books in one hand and pulled me to my feet with the other. “Come on.”
My feet obeyed her command even if my brain wanted me to change direction and chase after West; make him understand I was sorry. So sorry. We rounded the corner to where Cari’s VW sat, or Herbie 2 as we called it. She released me and pointed her car keys at the vehicle.
“Get in.” She went to the rear and opened the boot, throwing her books inside. Pierce suddenly stood in front of me, his hands on both my arms. His face looked livid. She might have been almost a foot shorter than him, but Cari could throw a punch to rival a heavyweight.
“I’m sorry,” he heaved, barely looking at me. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“Then why did you?” I yelled. “Why do you have to fuck people over?”
“Don’t you want to take any responsibility for this?” he asked me.
“But you move people around like pawns. Hope you’ve had fun at my expense. At West’s expense. For nothing!” I burst into tears again, barely able to keep the seams of my emotions falling apart. I covered my face with my hands and I heard the car boot slam shut. Over my head, I heard Pierce say, “I love you.”
My head reared up and I stared at him. He glanced down at me and released me. “Wait…”
“You’re sick in the head,” I whispered. “Do you know that? You are fucked up. You wouldn’t know love if it punched you in the face.”
He sent me a look that chilled me to the bone. “Antonia, you have no idea.”
“Toni!” Cari snapped. “Let’s go.”
I jumped into the car and fastened my seatbelt. For a good minute, Cari stood on her side of the car and I don’t know what look she gave Pierce, but the next second he said, “Don’t go. Let me explain.”
“No more talking.” Her voice sent a shiver through me. She got in next to me and fired up the car so fast, Pierce became a dot on the pavement. I felt everything. And nothing all at once.