Authors: Rachael Brownell
MAC
Ugh!
I’ve been having such
a great few weeks. This is the last thing I wanted to do today, but Wes said it had to be today. Apparently he
needs
me to pick up my stuff so he doesn’t have to be reminded of me anymore. I understand but I don’t really want to see him yet.
Roe offered to go with me and I thought about it for a split second before declining his offer.
It will only make things awkward for everyone. It’s bad enough that I feel awkward going over there after dating Wes for almost eighteen months, after almost marrying him.
Yeah, that didn’t go over well with my parents.
I called them the day after I broke it off with Wes. I had planned on calling them that night, after I got my emotions in check, but Roe had other plans for us. Plans that I had no objection to. Plus, I never expected Wes to call my parents. He did, though.
Needless to say, my parents were not thrilled with my decision
to back out on the wedding. Wes didn’t mention to them
why
I called the wedding off. He left that for me to do. I’m not sure if that was his way of punishing me or if he wasn’t sure if Roe was the reason. When you boil it down, Roe’s not the reason at all. I am. Seeing Roe again confirmed the fact that I wasn’t in love with Wes. He didn’t possess my heart like a husband should. He didn’t make my spine tingle or give me goose bumps by walking into the room. His presence didn’t overwhelm me. He was just Wes.
I explained the entire situation to my parents, thinking that maybe they would be less upset if they knew the real reason I called the wedding off.
They blamed Roe. I told him that and he shrugged his shoulders. He could care less.
“Let them point the finger at me if that makes them feel better.
I don’t care. I got the bride.” Damn that sexy-as-hell grin. The combination of his sweet words and that grin led us back to the bedroom until the next morning. That’s been happening a lot lately.
I’ve spent almost every waking moment of my time with Roe.
Actually, I’ve spent pretty much all my time with him, awake or not. It feels like I’ve moved into his apartment sometimes. He gave me a key so I could come and go. I’ve only used it once and it felt weird. I try to make sure he’s going to be there if I’m there. Plus, his apartment feels empty when he’s not there. I always feel like something is missing if I’m there by myself. I feel out of place.
That feeling is starting to go away more and more each day
, and I’m finding that when I leave class my car takes me to Roe’s place instead of my own most of the time. I don’t even think about it, I just drive and that’s where I end up.
I know Roe is more than okay with me being there.
Every time we start talking about the future, I change the subject. I keep thinking he’s going to ask me to move in with him and I don’t know if it’s a good idea yet. It’s only been a couple of weeks. I want to, I know that much, but it seems like it might be a little too soon. I don’t want to rush things with him.
Things are perfect the way they are right now.
We’re spending a lot of time together, getting to know each other again. He amazes me more and more every day. He’s the exact same person I fell in love that summer but completely different at the same time.
Last week, when we finally sat down and started talking about how we got to where we are today was when I realized that we were truly meant to be together.
There must have been a divine force, not Alexa, driving us together. How else could we have ended up at schools which are less than fifty miles apart?
When I
told him about choosing Berkeley because it was in California, I felt stupid. He knew why I wanted to go to California. Him. He was the only thing about California which appealed to me. He was the reason I wanted Berkeley.
He also applied to Berkeley.
His parents made him though. He wanted to go to Stanford. It wasn’t until his senior year of high school that Stanford “felt right” to him but he knew that it had to do with me. He thought maybe he would find me there. Well, in a way he did, just not the way he planned.
We talked about how we both would go back to Myrtle
Beach very summer. My jaw hit the floor when he told me we had just missed each other this past summer. If I had stayed he would have been there. It must have been him in the airport. I wanted to ask him but he started to nibble on my shoulder at that point and I knew our conversation was over. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the feel of his mouth on my skin.
I pull up in front of Wes’ house and my heart sinks.
I feel awful for the way things happened. I didn’t plan it. I never thought I would find Roe again so I never told Wes about Roe. In the end, it didn’t matter, though. I couldn’t have avoided hurting him. There was no way. I also couldn’t have avoided falling back in love with Roe the second I looked into his eyes again. I got lost in them and that’s where I want to stay for the rest of my life. Lost in Roe’s eyes.
I walk up the sidewalk and find Wes waiting on the front porch for me.
He has a small box in his hands, probably with my things inside. He looks devastated. I see the look on his face and I have to look away. Making eye contact will only make it worse.
“I packed it all up for you.”
“Thanks.” He takes a step towards me and I reach out for the box but he doesn’t let go.
“Can you at least have lunch with me?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Wes. I know your wounds are still fresh and so are mine. I’m hurting, too.”
“Yeah, but you have someone to comf
ort you. I don’t. Please, have lunch with me.” He’s begging and I’ve never heard him beg before. I feel sorry for him so I agree.
I put the box in my backseat, lock up my car and hop into the passenger seat of his truck.
He’s quiet as he drives. After about five minutes, it looks like we are going to jump on the highway. I know that Wes loves to drive Pacific Coast Highway, but I’m not in the mood for a road trip. I agreed to lunch, nothing more.
“Where are we headed?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he barks at me. I look over to see a devious grin spreading across his face.
“
Look, Wes, I know you’re upset with me, but I think you should take me back. We can talk about this another time. We can do lunch next week. How does that sound?”
“Sounds like you’re about to be disappointed.
We’re not going back. You and I are taking a little adventure.”
“What do you mean?
Where are we going?”
“Don’t worry about it.
In fact, why don’t you take a little nap?” He’s stabbing a needle in my leg before I even know what’s happening. I try to speak, to scream but the world goes black around me before I even get the chance.
My head feels like it’s
about to explode. It’s throbbing. I crack my eyes open and that only makes the pain worsen. Now I feel a little light headed and like I might puke. What the hell happened? Why does my head hurt?
I keep my eyes closed and try to focus through the pain.
I remember going over to Wes’ house to pick up my stuff. I remember him offering to take me out to lunch and I agreed. Then, nothing.
What am I missing?
I shift in my seat and I feel a tingling sensation in my thigh. A needle. Wes stabbed me with a needle. Why? What were we talking about? Why would he stab me with a needle and what the hell was in that needle?
Whatever it was must have knocked me out.
We’re still in the truck so I couldn’t have been out for that long. Why are we still driving? Where are we headed? Did he tell me? I don’t think he did. “A little adventure.” That’s what he said.
“I know you’re awake so you might as well open your eyes.”
Wes’ voice carries through the silence in the car. He sounds upset, irritated.
I open my eyes and blink a few times to adjust to the setting sun streaming in my window.
It’s almost completely beyond the horizon now so it has to be getting late. I look at the clock on the dash and see it’s just after 7:00pm. That means we’ve been on the road for almost six hours. Where is he taking me?
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
I try to keep any indication of how scared I am hidden when I speak. I don’t want him to know that he’s scaring the crap out of me.
“Well, my beautiful bride, we are going to get married tomorrow.”
I cringe a little. Not because of what he said to me but because of how he said it, the sound of his voice. He sounded pure evil.
I look around the
truck for my purse. I need to get my hands on my cell phone so I can call for help. I have a feeling this is all going to end badly. I don’t see it ending any other way. I don’t see my purse anywhere. He must have it hidden. Smart guy.
“Wes, I know
I hurt you. Why do you still want to marry me after everything that has happened?” Maybe I can reason with him. Maybe I can talk my way out of this.
“I love you, MacKenna, and I know you love me too.
Everything was perfect before
he
showed up and ruined it.” He’s seething. I can hear how pissed off he is at Roe.
“You’re right.
It was perfect before he showed up but he didn’t ruin it. I did. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. I made the decision to end our relationship, not him.”
Why did I
say that? Why am I protecting Roe when right now I’m the one in danger? I’m the one who needs to be protected. I should be agreeing with him and trying to plan my escape from him, not angering him further. Damn it!
“You can take the blame if you want, but I saw the way you were looking at him at the game.
I saw how uncertain you were. You weren’t looking at him like you looked at me. You weren’t looking at him like you loved him. He must have convinced you that you were still in love with him.”
Wow!
He really is delusional. He has no idea how much I love Roe. Wes has no idea that the way I used to look at him wasn’t how I look at Roe because he never held my entire heart. The small piece that he did hold, that piece belongs to Roe now as well.
I want to tell him all of that.
I want to argue with him. I don’t do either. I need to figure out a way to get away from him and if I anger him further by arguing with him, I may never be able to get away.
“You’re right.”
“I knew you would see it my way. We should be there in a few more hours. You can go back to sleep if you want.”
He sounds so nice all of the sudden.
Talk about bipolar.
“Where exactly are we headed anyway?”
Please tell me. I need to know. I look out the window and we are in the middle of the desert. I realize where we’re going just as he says it.
“Vegas.”
Shit!
He’s going to try and make me
marry him. He must think he can force me into it. Well, he can’t. I won’t let him. That’ll have to be when I escape. That’ll be my only shot. I have to get him to leave me alone long enough to at least call for help. Someone will come. Roe will come. Now, I need to locate my cell phone. I hope I didn’t let the battery die.