Take Me As I Am (16 page)

Jo closed the door, clasping the letter to her heart. She ripped the envelope open hoping to find out where she was. She swallowed hard and with trembling fingers, she carefully opened the page.

Dear Joanna,

I know you are wondering what’s going on and I can’t blame you as I write this, I wonder, too.

Nevertheless, I’ve decided to break out on my own. It was time. I can’t let you continue to fund everything for the rest of my life and it was beginning to feel like that. Please don’t think me ungrateful because I’m far from it.

As I looked at our months together, I realized how much I’d grown up and could handle myself. I owe that to you, Joanna, and only you. Maybe one day in the future we can meet up again, talk about old times, and reminisce on how we have both fared in the world.

One thing I know for sure is that you are a star in my eyes and always will be. I wish you so much success, my friend. You deserve it. I, of course, won’t tell you where I’m going because I know you too well. You will try to find me and I think it’s time for us both to move on.

Wish me the same in your heart, Joanna, and know you will always be with me in my heart, wherever I travel.

Take care, my friend,

Thea

Jo traced her thumb across what she knew were teardrops. “What have I done?” she whispered.

After that, Jo threw herself into her work, numbing the pain she was feeling without Thea in her life. She had to admit that being the center of attention had done her ego a world of good but she still felt hollow inside. What did it all matter if she couldn’t move on as Thea had decided to do? She didn’t really blame her for leaving. She had been so engrossed in achieving her dream that she forgot that other people needed her—one person in particular. It had been her choice to bring Thea along and her friend didn’t deserve abandonment and neglect. Many agonizing late night hours had her hoping that Thea had found a safe haven. If she knew for sure then maybe, she could settle down to a life, too.

She plastered a smile on her face for the people who asked for her autograph, duly complying with their eagerness for a memento of the concert and of her. As she made her way back to the dressing room, she slumped down in the leather chair and wiped away the perspiration from her brow before looking at herself in the mirror.

She saw an exhausted, unhappy, and lost woman who had no one to share her success and failures with. What seemed like a long time ago now, she had considered wealth and success her major goals in life. Now, she’d be happy playing a local bar if she had someone out in the audience who was happy with her as a person. Thea had once been that person. Jo had come close and had thrown it away.

Jo knew she was dreaming but with each concert, she hoped she’d look out and see Thea in the audience.

Chapter Seventeen

“Hey, Thea, a penny for them?”

A voice she recognized immediately pulled her out of her trance with a smile. “Oh, Mom, anything I was thinking about isn’t even worth a penny.”

“Really? You looked so intense. Have the Henderson’s arrived yet?” Thea’s mother’s long tapering, well-manicured fingers swung around the guest register as she scanned the arrivals and departures.

“They called about an hour ago saying they were stuck in traffic near Albany and will be late. I said it wasn’t a problem.”

Karen Adams grinned at her daughter. Thea would make sure that she greeted new arrivals properly, even if they turned up at midnight. That was one of the wonderful bonuses when her daughter had arrived unexpectedly one morning almost ten months ago. Not only was it the perfect present for her birthday, but Thea had brought with her a flair for the business. Since she had taken on the role of assistant manager, the small hotel had gone from being an average place to an in demand upmarket place that was always full.

Whatever it was that brought her daughter back into her life, she was eternally grateful for it. Although at times, like now, when she saw her pensive features, she knew that it hadn’t been a happy choice for her daughter to leave her old life behind. At first, she’d been inquisitive but the child hadn’t given anything away other than she had lived in Nashville with a friend for a short time after leaving Danvers and then it became time to move on.

“Are you happy living here at the hotel, Thea? You could move in with us, you know?”

Thea nodded. “I love it here. I get to do what I enjoy and have my independence too. What more could I ask for?”

“How about having a social life other than coming to our house for dinner on Sundays? The only time you take off is the odd sightseeing tour during the afternoon or early evening.”

†

Thea didn’t make friends that easily and all she wanted to do was make her way in the hotel business, and maybe the social side could come later. The only friend she really wanted in her life didn’t care enough to make any contact. She’d left messages on her machine for a couple of weeks after she left but she never heard back. Thea had to admit that the letter she left had been firm in that she wanted to make her own life but Joanna could have replied just once. Alice knew where she was, but Joanna hadn’t asked. Thea couldn’t blame her.

“Alice is coming to town soon and she’s a friend. I promise to make the effort and go out and about with her while she’s here.”

Karen snorted, blinked, and then shook her head. “Your friend is in town for what, two days?”

“No. She’s coming for four nights on her way to see relatives. She promised at Christmas she will stay longer, if she can.”

As they were chatting, the swing door opened and in walked a short stocky man virtually bald with a ready smile and twinkling eyes. Alongside him was a taller younger man with a similar expression. “Now, what are you two ladies scheming? If I know you, Karen, it might not be in my best interests?”

Karen grinned and turned to hug the man. “Now, when have I not been in your best interests, Grayson?” The man held her close, whispering something into her ear, before lovingly kissing her.

“Oh, give it a rest can’t you? Thea, tell them it’s embarrassing.”

“Bradley, I think our mom and your dad make one cute couple. How would you like to share some coffee while they continue to get to know one another again?”

The comment was ridiculous as they had seen one another at breakfast only three hours before but it made them all laugh.

Bradley Adams walked to his half-sister. “You should live in the house with us, Thea. Then you might consider I’m right.” He placed a warm arm around his big sister’s shoulders as they entered the back office.

†

“You look worried, my dear?” Grayson said. He stared at his wife with gentle eyes. He had fallen in love with Karen when he visited the Danvers area during his travels as a working salesman. He knew Karen was married, with a child, and kept his distance since his family had very devout ethics about the sanctity of marriage. However, the more he came to the town and got to know Karen, the more he couldn’t help falling head over heels for her. Karen was caring, gentle, and loved her daughter. The husband, on the other hand, was a different matter. He was a drunk, gambler, and the town joke. It was clear that Daniel Danvers wasn’t ever going to change.

One day, he’d come home after losing all their money from a cattle sale that was going to take them through the winter and had expected Karen to exist for months on no income. He would never forget the day he’d walked into the motel and found her crying inconsolably in the small lobby. That had been the final straw and he asked her to go away with him. She said no, as he expected. He remembered seeing Thea, who was as pretty as a picture, hugging her mother for comfort. Three months later, they had left town together with Karen leaving her only child behind. It had broken her heart but she couldn’t have stayed after the bastard tried to sell her favors at the local bar. They had always intended to fight for Thea but Daniel Danvers had remarkably sobered up and caused such a stir about her running off, abandoning her child that they didn’t stand a chance of winning.

During the years, Karen had tried to stay in touch, sending letters and presents to Thea, but now they knew Thea had never received anything. Daniel saw to that. Karen never stopped caring and had a friend in Danvers who provided regular updates to prevent her from going insane. When Daniel died, they’d considered going to talk with Thea but Bradley was gravely ill and by the time he recovered the chance was lost. Karen knew that Thea left Danvers and why. That was cause for concern until her friend told her it was the very best thing she could have done. The person she had gone with would look after her. Now reunited as a family, Karen had never been happier. That’s all that mattered to Grayson.

“I don’t think she’s happy, Gray, there’s something in her eyes that remains permanently sad. She won’t talk about it, so how can I help her?”

“In time she will, Karen. She’s finding her footing, that’s all.”

“Do you really think so? I wouldn’t want to lose her again. Not after waiting all this time for her to be back in my life.”

“Yeah, I do. Wherever she goes in the future she knows we are here for her and that must mean something, right?”

“I love you, Grayson. Did I ever tell you that?”

He chuckled before slipping his arms back around her and giving her a tender kiss. “Every day, my dear, every day. Shall we go see how our brood is doing?”

Hand in hand, they went behind the reception counter into the back office. As they opened the door, he heard laughter and it warmed his heart.

†

Now standing in the apartment that she had shared with Thea, Jo surveyed the empty rooms, thinking that Thea would walk through the door and ask her what she was doing. Her friend would be aghast at the mess she was leaving behind and that mess only amounted to a couple of empty boxes and the dust that had accumulated during the time she had been touring. It hadn’t had a proper cleaning since Thea left. Then again, she hadn’t been in the apartment much since that time.

As she looked around one last time, she sighed heavily. This was the end of this particular journey. In the future, she would never have to live in a place like this again. She had bought a property in New York by the ocean and it belonged to her outright. It was something she never thought would happen in her life. For now, she was renting, with the option to buy, a super apartment in the most desirable area of Nashville. Once more her thoughts traveled to her friend. Thea would love all the labor saving gadgets and the décor in the new apartment. It was light and airy and Thea would have had a wonderful time filling the place with her plants and flowers.

Her bank balance was healthy, or so Jack said, and she had no reason to distrust him. She was due to tour Europe and Asia in three months’ time. The world was literally at her feet yet she felt restless and didn’t enjoy the accolades she was receiving. Jack indicated that he was worried about her schedule, afraid that she’d burn out before she could reap the rewards of her success. Maybe he was right. There was something eating at her insides, refusing to allow her to stop. If she did, she might not get up again.

“Hi.” A voice she barely recognized hailed her from the open doorway.

“Alice.”

The last time the two had spoken, it was antagonistic and Jo had been too shocked and unhappy to retaliate properly. She might be tired but she wouldn’t put up with another tirade from the woman.

“I’m fine, you’re looking…worn out but well,” Alice said softly. “It’s obvious you aren’t happy to see me and that is understandable. I was angry and lashed out at you and I’m sorry for that.” Alice shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if you would ever return. I’ve seen the odd person come around who had a key but I didn’t see you. I figured you’d given the place up. You’re famous now, congrats.”

“Thank you. I’m here now. I decided it wouldn’t be right to leave everything to a stranger to pack. Besides, there are things that belong to Thea and I couldn’t let anyone else deal with them.”

“I miss her too.” Alice’s voice held a tinge of sadness.

“Look, I need to go. I have another appointment.” Jo jangled her keys and looked around the doorway and the memory of her throwing her knapsack on the dainty table that always held welcoming blooms came to the forefront. It was a bittersweet recollection and how she wished she could do that again. She still could. The housekeeper could place the small table that she still had in her new apartment near the door with a vase of fresh flowers every day. In her heart, she knew it wouldn’t be nearly the same.

“I won’t keep you, I hope your career continues to shine and you and your husband are happy. See you around, Jo.” Alice walked out into the hallway with Jo following behind. “I’ll use the stairwell so you can use the elevator.”

“Alice.”

“Yes?” Alice turned back around.

“After Thea left, I broke the engagement. I never married.” Jo thought that was common knowledge but apparently not. “Have you heard from Thea?” There was no way she would let Alice leave without asking that question.
Please, let it be good news.

“She’s fine, Jo. Working hard but she’s well.”

“Where is she?”

“I promised that I wouldn’t tell anyone. I’m sorry but I have to honor her wishes.”

“I see. Will you tell her that I asked about her?”

“Yes, of course I will. Maybe now that you are back in town, she’ll call you. I know she tried to call several times and got no answer.”

“I never received any calls or messages from her.” Jo’s heart thudded in her chest.

Alice shrugged. “That’s what she told me.”

Jo jabbed at the elevator button in irritation. How had she missed Thea’s calls? The elevator doors opened and she got in. Alice was still standing there. “I’ll see you around, Alice.”

†

Alice watched the elevator doors close and knew that with the way Jo’s lifestyle was taking off, there wasn’t much chance of them meeting again.
Oh, well, I can always boast I knew Jo Lackerly before she became famous.

Now, she’d go back to her apartment and call Thea. Her friend would want to know that Jo had been there and hear what she’d had to say. The question was how Thea would handle the news. Alice already knew that her friend probably wouldn’t do anything for Jo’s actions tarnished her well and truly.