Take Me As I Am (19 page)

“Hey, hey put her down.” Alice, laughing, came to them and placed a hand on the leather-clad arm.

Calum turned his gaze to her with what Thea could clearly see was love.

“Don’t tell me, I’m being dense here. You two didn’t meet up, you came together because you are together?

“Well, yeah, that about sums it up. I wanted to tell you personally, not in an email or on the phone. This great lug wanted to come, too, so I hope that’s okay with you, Thea. I know its short notice and all but—”

“No buts. Wow, this is fantastic news and it couldn’t have happened to two better people. Do I get an invite to the wedding?”

“The wedding,” Calum squeaked out.

“Where do I put him, Thea, so you and I can go out and catch up?”

Thea left them for a moment to go to reception and speak with her mother.

“Guys, I want you to meet my mother. Mom, this is Alice and Calum, the friends I’ve spoken about.”

“Hi, Alice, Calum, I’m Karen. I hope you have a great time here in our little part of the world. Calum, do you enjoy baseball?”

“Sure, who doesn’t?”

“Well, it’s your lucky day. I’ve taken Thea’s shift so she can spend time with you, I know you girls and your girl talk. It’s normally what Thea and I do at lunch on a Monday. Calum, how would you like to go with my husband and son to see a game? As I’m working and can’t go and we have a spare ticket,” Karen said.

Thea flashed a grateful look in her mother’s direction. Her mother was more of a fan then the men in the family and they had season tickets. It was very generous of her.

“Are you sure they won’t mind?”

“No. They would welcome another male and if you are a friend of Thea’s, even more so.”

“Thanks.”

†

Two hours later, Alice watched her friend order their coffee and some pastries from the small cozy café about a block from the hotel.

“Great ambience here, Thea. I can see why you enjoy living here. Your folks, by the way, are really nice people.”

“Yes, it’s very welcoming. It was little daunting at first, because everyone knows everyone else. I like the small town feel and working with my family is wonderful.”

“I didn’t think any place like this still existed.”

“It exists, Alice, even if it’s just in our mind.”

The words were wistful and Alice knew Thea well enough to know that she was thinking about something else.

“Truthfully, you look great, Thea. Meeting your folks again and working at the hotel obviously agrees with you.”

“Yeah, it does, but I miss you and…other stuff.”

“I’m sorry I never told you about Calum, Thea. It happened by chance and I wanted to tell you face to face.”

“Oh, God, don’t be sorry. That’s really wonderful news. I’m so happy for you. He’s such a lovely man. Under all that show of brashness, he’s like the rest of us, just trying to find a place in life.”

“Have you found yours?”

Thea looked to the bakery across the road and Alice followed her eyes. A large bear of a man was talking to his customers with such ease, that she could almost hear his banter. A woman about his age was at his side smiling along with something he apparently said.

“I think maybe I have.”

“If you need to think about it, Thea, I’d say there is doubt. Is it Jo?” Sharp eyes glanced at her.

“Of course not. Joanna and I went our separate ways and that’s how it will stay, especially now.”

Alice gazed into the café latte she had ordered as she pondered that remark. “What do you mean
especially now
?”

“Well, she’s famous and wouldn’t have time for someone as insignificant as me. Let’s face it, she’s gone onto better things and doesn’t need me now.”

“Did she ever say that?”

“No, of course she wouldn’t say that. Joanna never said anything like that. It wasn’t her way.”

“No, it wasn’t and you know that.” Alice shook her head. “Stalemate, I guess. The both of you are as stubborn as mules,” she said under her breath.

“I’m not stubborn. I called her last month but she had left for Europe.”

“I take it she never returned your call?”

“She couldn’t. I didn’t leave a message with her answering service.”

“Well, that’ll keep the lines of communication open.”

“I couldn’t take the chance that she wouldn’t return my call.”

“I see. Maybe it’s time you moved on. That’s why you left her in the first place. Right?”

“Right.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

“Both.” Thea laughed softly,

“Okay, I’ll go with that. Now, tell me why you didn’t mention you had a handsome brother?”

“Really, Alice, what would Calum say?”

“Oh, he would smile and say ‘typical woman, never satisfied with the man she has’.”

“Would he be right?” Thea sipped her cappuccino and smiled.

“No, he wouldn’t. Not with me anyway. I think I loved him from the first time I ever saw him on that monster of a bike of his.”

“You loved him then? Why didn’t you tell me?” Thea’s jaw dropped.

“You were my lucky charm, Thea. If he hadn’t met you, he would never have noticed me. I tend to blend into the background.”

“How can I be lucky for you? I was dating him. Not really, you know but—”

“Hey, don’t worry. He told me it was more of a brother sister relationship. Although he did confess that he’d have taken it further if you had allowed it. We’ve found an understanding about that episode in his life and decided it was fate that led us to one another.”

“Am I fate?”

“Yep. Got that in one, Thea. Perhaps for more than Calum and me.”

Thea shrugged. “Maybe. We will never know that for sure.”

Alice watched as Thea’s eyes automatically scanned the street outside the café. “Is there a problem, Thea?”

“I don’t know. Some friends have rushed out of their store and gone off like the very devil down the street. It’s probably nothing to worry about. I’ll ask my mother when we get back.”

“If you want to go check it out, it’s no problem for me.”

“No, it’ll wait. What won’t wait are all the details of your romance with Calum. You have to tell me everything. ”

†

“I told her but would she listen? Oh no, stubborn, that’s what she is as stubborn as a…mule.” Jack paced his plush carpeted office waiting for another call from Antwerp where Jo had been due to go on stage.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Jack, she’s a young woman,” said Belinda Orkney.

“How do you know she will? I should have insisted she stay behind until she was fit, not leave, and end up in the hospital. God knows what’s wrong with her.” Jack turned toward the woman who had run his private office diligently for five years. She rarely commented on anything to do with business dealings or the artists he handled but was always his sounding board.

“Could you have stopped her?” Belinda laid a hand on his arm.

Jack gave a rueful expression as he shook his head. “No. Jo is a loner. She wouldn’t have anyone tell her what to do.” He shrugged. “Well, maybe one person, but it certainly isn’t me.” Jack was feeling every one of his fifty-five years as he impatiently waited for a call from the European tour manager in Antwerp who was at the hospital where they had taken Jo.

“Have you contacted her parents? It might be wise if they knew before the media broadcasts it.”

“I’ve informed them and they are on the next flight out of New York to Frankfurt then on to Antwerp.”

“Do you want me to inform anyone else?”

Jack stared at the ground for a few moments and then turned to gaze unseeingly out of the window onto the busy street below. “I’d love to but I don’t know how.”

“Is it Ms. Danvers?

“Why do you say that?” Jack’s shoulders stiffened as his personal assistant hit the nail on the head immediately.

“Sometimes you can see the chemistry between two people and believe me, sparks flew when they were together. I felt sorry for them both when I heard Ms. Danvers had left town. It must be scary to aim for the big time without at least a friend you can trust by your side. Jo lost both a friend and manager, not to mention a fiancé, all in the space of a week. Not surprising she’s in this state now. The work load she had undertaken was going to tell on her eventually.”

“I think she was working non-stop to forget the break-up of her personal life.” Jack pursed his lips. “How could I complain? She’s revived the company’s fortunes single-handedly, but at what price?”

“Want me to try and locate Ms. Danvers and contact her as soon as I do?”

“You can try, but I doubt she wants to be found. Let me know if you do, I would like to inform her personally.” He gave his assistant a sly look. “Why do you think it was Ms. Danvers she missed the most, and not Lee Weston?”

“That’s easy. Lee works with you and she could have contacted him any time. But Thea hasn’t been around since the television show a year ago.”

“You’re right on the money about that.” Jack’s phone rang and he rushed to his desk. “Wicklow. Yes, yes, I understand and she’s in which hospital? Got that, her parents are on the way. They’ll get there. I’ll charter them a flight, if necessary. Thanks, Andre, keep me informed.”

Jack sank into his chair, leaned back, and wiped a weary hand across his eyes. “Double pneumonia, exhaustion, and possibly an unknown viral infection,” he said. “God help us, what has she been doing to herself?”

“Did Andre say what the prognosis was?” Belinda asked.

“He said the doctors indicated the next forty-eight hours would be critical and that her family should be with her, if possible.”

“Good thing you called them, then.”

“Strange. Jo called me from the airport before she left and told me if anything happened to her, to call her parents.” He snorted. “That was the first time I heard her mention family.”

“If you give me their flight information, I’ll arrange for someone to meet them there and get them booked on the earliest flight to Antwerp.”

“I’ll meet them personally,” Jack said.

“Okay. I’ll see if I can locate Thea.”

“Thank you.” Jack sat heavily in his chair, worry filling his mind. His gut told him that Thea was the key to Jo’s wellbeing in the future. If there was a future for her.

Chapter Twenty-one

Thea returned to the hotel with Alice, saw Calum waiting in the foyer of the hotel, and thought it strange since the game couldn’t be over yet.

“Let me check with my mother for a few minutes, Alice. Why don’t you check on Calum since it looks like he didn’t go to the game. I’ll catch up with you two shortly.”

Alice nodded and headed toward the young man who had a pensive look on his face. Thea ducked behind the reception desk and went into the office.

“Mom, I was in the café across from the bakery and saw Alex with Stella leaving hastily. Is there a problem that you know of?”

“You know they have a daughter and she surprised them the anniversary party?” Karen stared at her with sad eyes.

“Yes, you told me the night of the anniversary party. I didn’t get to meet her because I left early.”

“Appears she’s critically ill and they’ve had to leave to be with her. I don’t know any details other than that Alex said he would let me know when he knew the facts.”

“Oh, no, they will be destroyed. I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll pray for them. By the way, I saw Calum. Did he change his mind about going with Grayson and Bradley?”

“He said something came up and that he needed to see you and Alice. He looked kinda shocked. I hope he hasn’t had bad news, too.”

“I’d better go check.” As she headed for the door, the phone pealed out and Karen answered. “Hello. May I ask who’s calling? Just a minute.” Karen placed her hand on the mouthpiece “Thea, do you know someone named Belinda Orkney? She sounds official?”

“Orkney? No, I don’t think so. Orkney? It does ring a bell.” Thea concentrated on the name. Where had she heard it before?

“She said it’s urgent and wanted to know if you could spare a few minutes. Her boss would like a word with you.”

“Her boss? Who’s that?”

“Can you tell me the name of your boss? Okay, thank you.” Karen placed her hand over the mouthpiece again. “A guy named Jack Wicklow.”

Thea paled as she heard the name. Why would Jack want to speak with her?

“Shall I tell her you are out?”

Unable to decide for a moment what to do, Thea looked at her friends, saw shock, and upset mirrored in their eyes looking back at her. As if in slow motion, she turned back to her mother. “I’ll take the call.”

Thea waited, then heard Jack’s voice.

“Thea, I can’t believe Belinda found you. Something terrible has happened. Jo is in the hospital in Antwerp and it’s critical.”

“No, not Joanna,” she whispered, her heart breaking. “Where exactly is she? I need to be there.”

“I’ll have Belinda get you on the next flight out from where you are now. She will email you with the details within a half hour. I’ll meet you in Brussels. I’m glad we found you, Thea.”

Thea gave him her email details and signed off with tears streaming down her cheeks. “Darling, what’s the matter.” Karen wrapped her arms around her daughter.

Thea, pulled away, picked up her purse, and then the keys to her mother’s car. “I need to be alone for a while,” she told her mother and her friends before rushing out of the hotel.

†

“I didn’t know that Thea’s Joanna was in fact my good friend’s daughter and a famous singer. What a small world we live in? Who would have thought my little girl was a friend of Jo Lackerly,” Karen said to Alice and Calum who were sharing supper with her.

“Well, Jo wasn’t always famous, Mrs. Adams. She and Thea shared an apartment in Nashville and that was before anyone knew the name Jo Lackerly. They were very good friends though and they looked out for each other,” Alice explained.

“When you say good friends…how good?” Karen gazed down at her half-eaten chili.

“Oh, they were good friends, Mrs. Adams, believe me,” Calum said. “I would know. I courted Thea for a short time….”

Alice put a hand on Calum’s sleeve to halt his ramblings. She knew what Thea’s mother was asking. “They shared lots of things, Mrs. Adams. I think they had a history that they never talked about, at least not to Calum or me. Jo and Thea were…are very private people. If you are asking if there was a special friendship, then I think there could have been but other pressures got in the way.”

Calum glanced first at Alice quizzically then Thea’s mother and back to Alice. “I know I’m the token man here, but would someone let me in on what you mean by
special friendship
?”

Alice smiled. Calum was so lovable but so dense at times. When he got confused, he was just like a small boy. “What Mrs. Adams was actually asking, Calum, is did Thea and Jo
love
one another.”

“Well, sure they did.” Calum’s brow knitted.

Karen spluttered a mouthful of coffee. “I see. Did they have a fight? Is that why they split up?”

“Calum, you don’t understand,” Alice interjected.

“Okay, what don’t I understand?” Calum asked in an exasperated tone.

“She wanted to know if Joanna and Thea were lovers.” Alice clutched Calum’s hand as his face went pale. It was obvious to her that the thought had never crossed his mind.

“We dated, well, kind of. Wouldn’t I have known?”

“Not necessarily, Cal. They were very private when it came to their life together. I think we should leave that particular question behind closed doors. If it ever gets answered, our friends will answer it themselves. Shall we all agree on that?” Alice kissed his cheek tenderly before laying her forehead against his.

“I agree,” Karen said. “It’s an invasion into my daughter’s privacy and none of our business. Thea is old enough to have her own life and make her own mistakes and triumphs. Perhaps if I had stuck around when she was a child, I could have helped her understand what she is feeling.” She blew out a breath.

“It is what it is, Mrs. Adams, and we can only go forward from here.” Alice looked at the woman, who was obviously in distress, and squeezed her hand.

“I’m glad she has you for a friend. You are wise beyond your years.”

†

Thea had driven several miles away to a small park where she could walk and settle her shattered emotions. Joanna, her Joanna was in Europe critically ill and she couldn’t do anything to help her. No matter how mixed up their lives had become, they were friends and always would be. The connection they shared from the first day they met would last until they each drew their last breaths.

Now, as the tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked, she sank into a bench and gazed out over the park unable to see anything beyond her devastation. Joanna had never been one to dwell on fantasy or romantic notions, being quite hardheaded in that respect. Probably the life she had led in the past, especially with the guys she used to travel with, made her that way. Although with her, she felt that Joanna had started to dream again.

“Then I did a most unforgivable thing and threw it all in her face by leaving so abruptly,” she whispered.

Now, I just want to be there. I hope Belinda sends me the information soon.

She’d heard a report on the radio as she drove saying that the singer was in a critical condition and that the next forty-eight hours would be crucial.

There is no guarantee when I do go that anyone will let me within a mile of her—I’m not family.

Would Jack arrange for her to see her friend? She certainly hoped so? Would Joanna survive to come back home? That thought shook her to the core.

Her heart bled for her friend’s pain and her own, even if it was of her own making. At the end of the day, she blamed herself. The outcome—Joanna was sick and it was her fault. If she hadn’t been so selfish with her own feelings and left her friend behind, none of this would have happened.

Bottom line was she loved—she was in love with Joanna. She had known it in Danvers and battled with it a year ago before leaving Joanna with her new life and love. Now, she was experiencing the same emotion even more profoundly. If all she could do were to say
hi, I’m sorry
, one last time, she would be thankful the rest of her days for that second chance. A year, month, week, day, hour, minute or a second spent with Joanna would be a cherished moment for the rest of her life.

She would go back to the hotel and talk with Alice, Calum and her mother. Her mother would want to know everything. She meant well but she was rather protective and at her age, it really wasn’t necessary for anyone to protect her, unless the protector was Joanna. Thea looked up at the sky. It was a clear day without a cloud. Perhaps that was a good omen.

Joanna I love you, please come back to me and this time I promise not to leave you unless you tell me to go.

The email ringtone of her phone beeped
.

†

The virtual silence of the sterile room persisted. Only the muted fans whirling inside the monitoring and oxygen machines gave any evidence that life stirred inside the white walled room. Jo’s body encased in a summer blue-sky blanket, which topped a pristine white cotton sheet that needed changing every two hours because of her condition. She lay motionless, drugs ensuring that she didn’t move any of the drips or other equipment attached to her body.

Nurses monitored the unconscious woman from a station, yards away, along with two other patients who were in the intensive care unit in critical condition.

Her pale features, drawn and haggard, could never be described as the same vibrant singer who days before had been singing to thousands of people at a concert in Hamburg. No one had known of her fatigue, or the number of painkillers she had taken to numb the pain, as the ever-increasing illness gripped her dangerously drained body.

“How is Ms. Lackerly?” Andre Kransky asked, watching Jo through the window.

“Holding her own, sir.” The nurse smiled politely at the decidedly unkempt man.

“Thanks, can I go sit with her?” His gentle blue eyes gazed at the bed through the glass window.

“Yes, of course, sir.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her.” Andre had brought her to the hospital and stayed by her side waiting for her family to arrive. He was a bit annoyed at how fast the tabloids found out about her illness. No doubt, someone at the hospital had leaked the information.

“I’m sure you will, sir.” This time the nurse smiled.

Andre settled down in the armchair beside the motionless singer’s bed and placed his head in his hands pushing distracted fingers through his hair. This had been his first European tour that he had managed on behalf of a named American artist.

“What a disaster.” This was definitely not going to do his reputation any favors if people thought he couldn’t take care of the star performer. Yet, anyone who knew this particular singer would know how difficult it was to care for her. She never let up or let anyone in. She’d looked so good in Hamburg, a shining star, when really she had been a comet exploding before it fragmented into thousands of tiny pieces.

Jack Wicklow had been shocked but thankfully, not accusing. Her parents were due to arrive in the next two hours and one of them would pick them up at the airport and bring them there personally.

He gazed at the singer, wondering why she hadn’t allowed someone to know she was ill. They could have done something far earlier and she wouldn’t be in the state she was in now. “Typical American, always thinking they know best.” He knew Americans and he loved their work ethic and generosity so he instantly regretted his words.

The popular music world was at this woman’s feet. Jo Lackerly had the looks, the voice, and the general manner to make it into super stardom and stay there if she wanted. The country fans were very loyal and she had the added talent of writing her own songs to make her great. If she had a death wish—and it would seem that she might—it wasn’t going to be a long career. Funny how so many talented people go off the rails and never get back. These days it was usually drugs but exhausting yourself to the point of death worked equally as well. He’d seen it from time to time in the past fifteen years. When he’d met her, she certainly hadn’t come across that way. Funny how people could be so deceptive and never really let anyone know them until it was too late.

It reminded him of a song she had sung three days before, silencing the crowd for a few moments before they burst out in thunderous applause.
A good possibility for a record release he’d thought at the time. Now, he wondered how much of the song reflected what she was feeling. The words came back to him…
”A lifetime hidden with borrowed dreams waiting for a special chance.”

As he watched Jo’s uneven breathing, he shook his head. Maybe he was being too harsh on the singer. Perhaps her illness came on suddenly. The doctors had indicated that perhaps she had an unknown virus along with pneumonia. He hoped the medications they were using would work.

He stood and placed a comforting hand on the pale skin of Jo’s arm before leaving the room. He needed a shower and to change before going to the airport to meet Jack. He doubted Jo’s parents would welcome some scruffy individual being in charge of their daughter’s care in Europe. They might even blame him for all that had happened to her.