Take What You Want (41 page)

Alex watched Danni take a
few steps and his heart shattered. “Danni. Wait,” he
said.

Danni stopped in place, but
she didn't turn around to look at him. Alex walked up and stood
behind her. Only a few inches separated them.

“
I'm
so sorry I hurt you, Danni,” Alex said, whispering the words.
“But, I'm not sorry I fell for Chase. He's made me happier
than I've been in years.”

Alex set the palm of his
hand lightly to her bare shoulder and felt her shudder. Was it from
his touch? A flash of something wonderful zipped through Alex, and
as soon as his brain registered the sensation, Danni twisted away
from him.

“
Thank
you for dinner,” she said.

Alex watched her disappear
through the gate, walk along the hedges, and climb the stairs of the
cottage. The slam of the door jerked him out of his trance. Damn.
On some levels the last few hours had been a disaster, with Danni
showing the anger she had for him. But, there had been glimpses of
her true self revealed tonight, too, Alex thought. A lighthearted
playful side Alex found sexy as hell, wrapped up in a sleek, toned
body of a goddess. The image of her thighs circling his waist
suddenly flashed in his head.

Behave himself? Was she
serious? Alex was already in over his head with Chase, but falling
for Danni, too? That would undoubtedly be the death of him.

Chase found Alex sitting by
himself at the table beside the pool. The absence of Danni was hard
to miss.

“
Hey,
how's it going?” Chase asked, squeezing the tight muscle where
Alex's neck met his shoulder.

“
Wonderful,”
Alex said. That one word dripped with sarcasm.

Chase's fingers lingered on
Alex's shoulder and gently gripped. The touch was hypnotic for Alex
and he began to sway and lean back in his chair and into Chase. He
wanted more; needed more.

“
What
happened?” Chase asked. He added his other hand and started
massaging both of Alex's shoulders together.

Alex
hummed. “I'm sorry,” he said. “I gave it my best
shot, but I'm not sure if I made things better or worse. I'm
guessing worse.”

Chase pulled a chair over to
Alex and sat down facing him. He took Alex's hands in his. “Tell
me what happened.”

Alex looked at Chase. Fear,
anger, it all floated in Chase's eyes. “Danni and I had
dinner,” Alex said. “We talked. She vented, told me how
she felt, and I tried to explain to her the unique dynamic of a
tripod.” Alex tipped his head back over his shoulders and
sighed. “Nothing I said seemed to make a difference. She's
resentful, Chase, and I can't say I blame her. She didn't agree to a
future with you thinking there'd be the baggage of another man in her
bed, in addition to you. I'm not sure she's cut out for this. I'm
thinking maybe I should back off and let you two be.”

“
Whoa,
Alex, slow down.”

Alex stood up from his
chair. “I'm thinking it'd be wise for me to leave now before
this gets any more out of control.”

Chase jumped to his feet;
his chest bumping into the solid wall of Alex. His arms circled Alex
and pulled him close. Forehead to forehead, his breath bouncing off
Alex's lips. “I don't want you to go,” he said, trying
to keep the panic from his voice.

Alex
held on to Chase. He didn't want to give this up, didn't think he
could. Chase pressed his mouth to Alex's and Alex took the kiss and
melted into it; hungry for more of this connection, needing it like
he might die without it. The stroking of tongues and the gentle rub
of soft lips had Alex hard and aching. He pulled away, panting,
gulping air to his lungs.

“
I
want you in my bed,” Alex said. “And I can't have you.
Do you have any idea how much that hurts?” Alex broke their
embrace and stepped back from Chase. He pushed the hair behind his
ears and shook his head. “Go see Danni,” he said. “Make
sure she's okay.”

Alex
turned toward the house and began walking. Chase called his name
several times, but he couldn't stop; he had to get inside and put
some space between them before he did something stupid, like tell
Chase how much he loved him.

Chase swore and looked in
the direction of the cottage, then back at the house. He wanted to
go inside with Alex. He also wanted to be with Danni. But, having
one could ruin the other. He started moving his feet toward the
cottage, when he heard a phone ringing. He swung around to see
Alex's phone sitting on the patio table and walked back to it. The
caller I.D. displayed Wheland's name. Chase knew he shouldn't answer
it, but he did it anyway.

“
Hey,
Wheland,” Chase said.

“
Chase?
What are you doing answering Alex's phone?” Wheland asked.

“
He's
gone inside,” Chase said. “I don't think he meant to
leave his phone outside by the pool.”

“
Probably
not,” Wheland said. “What's going on with him tonight?
I got a bunch of fucked up text messages a while ago that made no
sense. Is he drunk?”

“
He
didn't seem drunk,” Chase said. “I don't know, maybe a
little bit.”

“
You
two have a love spat?” Wheland teased.

Chase
was quiet. He didn't know how much Wheland knew about their
situation and it wasn't his place to tell him. “I can't really
say,” Chase said. “I'll have Alex call you tomorrow.”

“
Wait,
Chase. Don't hang up,” Wheland said. “Listen, when Alex
was here last week, he told me some things; which out of respect for
him I won't repeat, but you should know this isn't a casual thing for
him.”

“
It
isn't for me either,” Chase said. “Not by a long shot.”

“
Then,
what are your plans?” Wheland asked.

“
It's
not really my decision to make,” Chase said. “My girl is
home now and things just became really … complicated.”

“
Shit.
Well, that explains some of Alex's text messages,” Wheland
said. “Try not to hurt him any more than you have to.”

“
I
rather not hurt him at all,” Chase said.

“
Good,
then, don't,” Wheland said. “Alex is famous for
following his big heart, even when he knows it could kill him, and in
the end he's destroyed and I'm stuck picking up his pieces.”

Chase swallowed hard.
“That's not what I want,” he said.

“
Well,
if you ever need to talk, Chase, call me anytime. Okay?”

“
Yeah,
thanks,” Chase said, and ended the call. He tossed the phone
back onto the table and started walking to the cottage.

The cottage was quiet when
Chase entered. It was after eleven o'clock and he was starved from
not eating dinner with Alex and Danni. He opened the refrigerator
and pulled out a package of cold cuts and sliced cheese, then found
the loaf of bread on the counter, and began making himself a
sandwich. He was halfway through eating it when Danni entered the
kitchen.

“
Chase?”
she asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She was wearing an old
tank top that revealed the sides of both her round breasts and a pair
of hot pink panties. “What happened at the job site?”

“
I
met Jimmy and let him inside,” Chase said. He sat down in a
chair at the table and took another bite of his sandwich. “The
leak was worse than we both thought, but it's his problem now, not
mine.”

Danni took a seat at the
opposite end of the table and looked at him. Her fidgeting gave
indication of her uneasiness, as did her fingers repeatedly threading
together. “We need to talk,” she finally said.

“
I
know, babe,” Chase said in a soft voice.

“
You
promised being with Alex wouldn't change you – or us, and it
did,” Danni said. “I'm not sure we can ever go back to
the way it was before I left for Colorado.”

Chase
shook his head and looked at his lap. “No, I don't think we
can, Danni, and I'm not sure I want to.”

Tears
began to pool in Danni's dark eyes. “I can't give you what he
does and I'm not sure what I
can
give you will ever be enough now.”

“
I
want you to understand what I'm going through and have it make
sense,” Chase said, “But, I'm not sure I can explain it
properly.”

“
I
need you to try, Chase. Tell me what you're feeling and help me to
see this through your eyes.”

Chase tipped his head back
over his shoulders and sighed. “Alex is … tranquility.
Everything is peaceful and I can feel whole. You fill me with so
much, babe, but Alex is the other piece – the piece of the
puzzle I didn't know I was missing, and now I can't imagine being
without it.”

When Chase finally looked at
her again, emotion was ready to spill from his eyes. “I don't
want to lose you, Danni, and I don't want to hurt you, either, but
having Alex in my life feels right. I don't want that to change.”

“
Do
you love him?” Danni asked, nearly choking out the words.

“
The
rush I get from him is intense; beyond what I ever imagined.”

Danni wiped at her cheeks.
“Better than what you get with me?”

“
Not
better, Danni. Different. It's rougher, more physical, and …
I don't know; male? I can't articulate it the way you deserve to
hear it and I'm sorry about that.”

“
What
about love, Chase? Do you love him?”

Chase rubbed at his eyes.
“I don't know. Maybe.” A strangled sob came from Danni
and Chase went to her, lifted her from her chair, and hugged her
tightly to his chest. His large arms completely surrounding her. He
kissed her temple and inhaled her baby powder scent. “I love
you, babe. You have to know that.”

Danni pressed her face into
the warmth of Chase's neck. “I'm not sure you can love two
people at the same time,” she said, her small frame quaking
with emotion against his body.

“
Let
me prove I can love you both,” he said. “Please, Danni.
Give me a chance. I know this can work.”

“
I'm
not sure I am strong enough for this,” she said. “Sharing
you with Allison was different. I knew emotions weren't involved.
This thing you share with Alex is beyond what I think I'm capable of
handling.”

Danni leaned back and held
Chase's face in her hands. She dried the wet streaks on his cheeks
with the pads of her thumbs. “I'm not sure I can feel anything
more for Alex than resentment.”

Chase
tightened his grip on her. “Please don't resent Alex,”
he said. “This isn't his fault. It isn't my fault, either. I
didn't choose this, Danni. This is who I am; who I'm meant to be.
You say you love me, wouldn't that mean you'd love
all
of me – even the part that wants to love Alex?”

Danni flung her arms around
Chase's neck. Knowing Chase's ability to love and love completely,
she had no doubt he had more than enough room in his heart to love
both her and Alex. It was her that was drowning in doubt over her
capability to allow him the freedom to love Alex; when she wanted him
all to herself.

“
I
want you to have this with Alex,” she said. “I'm just
not certain I can wait alone while you have it.”

“
You
will never be alone, Danni,” he said. “I want you to be
a part of this – with me.”

She looked at him with
skepticism, then slowly shook her head. “I'm not sure I want
to be with Alex and watching the two of you – knowing there are
emotions involved, I think it would be too much for me.”