Take What You Want (62 page)

“
Yes,
Alex and I are lovers, too,” Chase said, doing his best not to
choke on that one word. “Although, I don't like to use labels,
if I did, mine would be bi-sexual.” There, he'd said it and
there was no taking it back. He swallowed hard, watching as the
information digested inside Allison's brain.

Allison
smiled slowly. “I agree, Chase. I think labels are unfair and
unjustly discriminate and stigmatize people. If being with Alex
and
Danni works for you and everyone else involved, then I think you
should do whatever makes you happy.”

“
Love
is love,” Danni said softly.

Chase looked at Danni,
surprised by her words and wondering if there was a deeper meaning
behind them. Was it possible she was starting to have real feelings
for Alex? Maybe he wasn't the only one becoming wrapped up and lost
in Alex. He pulled Danni against his side and kissed her temple,
feeling more connected to this woman than ever before.

“
I
love you, babe,” he whispered.

“
I
can not believe the famous people here at this party,” Allison
said, and in that instant, the seriousness of their conversation had
shifted.

Alex
glanced at his watch. It was almost time for him and his band to do
the acoustic set he had planned for his party guests. He wanted to
try out some of their new material and maybe do a few songs with
Dagger, too. He scanned the gathered crowd looking for his band
mates and waved Wheland over.

“
You
about ready to play?” Alex asked Wheland.

“
Sure,
whenever you are,” Wheland said.

“
All
right, let's see if we can round everyone up,” Alex said.

“
I
saw Cooper leaving with Chase's friend, but I haven't seen them come
back,” Wheland said.

“
I'll
text him and see where he's at,” Alex said. “Go hunt
down the others.”

Wheland nodded and walked
off and Alex pulled his phone from his pocket. He slid open the
message pad and began typing.

“
If
you're done defiling Jayson, get your ass back here,”
Alex typed.
“It's
time to play rock star.”

A
moment later, Alex got a response from Cooper.
“We're
at the beach. I'll be back in five, and I didn't defile Jay!”

Hmmm, so now it's 'Jay',
Alex thought. How was it Cooper had already managed to become
familiar enough with Jayson to use the shortened version of his name?
Alex made a mental note to have a talk with Cooper later about
Jayson. The last thing he needed was for Cooper to fuck over Chase's
best friend and leave the mess for Alex to clean up.

Chase stood beside the pool
talking with Danni and Allison. He watched Alex beginning to set up
an area for his band to perform at far end by the pool house.
Wheland was busy running electric cords, while Jared and Tony were
setting up their equipment. Chase was about to go offer Alex his
help when he noticed Cooper and Jayson coming through the open gate
into the pool area. Chase moved quickly and caught Jayson by the
arm, pulling him aside, as Cooper made his way to make-shift stage
area.

“
Where
the hell were you?” Chase asked Jayson. “Alex has been
looking for Cooper.”

“
We
were at the beach getting high,” Jayson said with a smirk.

“
You
and Cooper got stoned?” Chase asked. “Since when do you
smoke dope?”

“
Since
Cooper invited me,” Jayson said.

“
He's
gay,” Chase blurted. “Did you know that?”

Jayson's
grin turned into a full-blown smile. “Yeah, him kissing me
sort of gave that away and I'm pretty sure me kissing him back let
him know I was, too.”

Chase shook his head. “Jay,
you need to be careful with Cooper. He's not like the guys you're
used to dealing with.”

“
I
know he's not like the others – he's Cooper Rand, for Christ
sakes,” Jayson said. “Did you forget that bit of info?”

“
Yeah,
I know, you're a big fan boy with a crush,” Chase said. “But,
you still need to be careful.”

Jayson ran a hand over his
face. “How many guys have you been with, Chase?”

“
You
know the answer to that question,” Chase said.

“
And,
how many guys do you think I've been with?” Jayson asked.

“
I'm
not sure I want to know,” Chase said.

“
Dozens,
Chase, which means Cooper's not even close to being my first,”
Jayson said. “I think I can handle him.”

“
I
just don't want to see you get hurt.” Chase said the words and
grimaced, knowing he must sound like an over-protective sibling right
now. “I'm sorry. You're right. I have no right to pry.
Forget I mentioned it.”

Jayson
shrugged and the grin was back on his face. “He seems like a
nice guy,” Jayson said. “He's funny, smoking hot, and
he's
Cooper
Fucking Rand
.
What more do I need to say? You can't blame me for wanting to hit
that.”

Chase chuckled. “No,
I suppose not.”

“
Good,”
Jayson said, his face still beaming with happiness. “If we're
done here, I need to find me a drink.”

Chase watched Jayson move
through the crowd to the closest bar, then his gaze shifted to Alex.
Across the patio their eyes met and Alex blew him a kiss; which
amused the hell out of Chase. The gesture also made his cock
thicken. Movement beside him pulled his attention away from Alex and
he saw Dagger and Ryan stop beside him. Dagger leaned into Ryan and
pressed his lips to him, then started walking toward Alex and his
band.

Chase watched their
interaction and smiled to himself. The bond between Dagger and Ryan
was palpable and beautiful. He found himself wanting the same thing
with Alex. Sometimes it felt like they were already well on their
way to having that. Other times, he thought how unrealistic it was
for him to think a long-term relationship with Alex could ever be a
possibility. Even though Alex had said he wanted something
long-term, Chase felt another conversation about that needed to
happen soon with Alex to ease his mind … and his heart, before
he was completely in over his head.

A
moment later, Ryan turned toward Chase and nodded. Chase smiled
nervously and said hello. Ryan returned the greeting and his eyes
darted back to Dagger and Alex getting ready to play.

“
I
guess seeing Dagger perform never gets old for you, does it?”
Chase asked.

“
Hell,
no,” Ryan said with a grin. “Watching him morph into his
stage persona is a total rush.”

“
I
can imagine,” Chase said.

“
You've
seen Zander perform, haven't you?” Ryan asked.

“
I've
seen him in concert several times in the past, but nothing on a large
scale since … we started, you know.”

“
Since
you became involved with him,” Ryan said.

“
Yeah,
that,” Chase laughed. “I'm still getting used to all of
this, as you can tell.”

“
I've
been there,” Ryan said. “Though, it seems like a life
time ago, but, thankfully we're in a good place now.”

“
You
must be,” Chase said. “You're getting married.”

Ryan blushed. His full
smile displayed beautifully, straight white teeth. “We worked
through a lot of shit to get to this point, but it was worth it.
I've never been happier.”

Chase nodded with
understanding. He knew some of what Ryan and Dagger had been through
from what Alex had told him. He also knew Ryan didn't fully accept
his sexuality until he met Dagger. Several questions ran through
Chase's head and he wondered how receptive Ryan would be in answering
them.

“
Can
I ask you a personal question?” Chase finally asked Ryan.

Ryan held Chase's gaze for a
second, then nodded. “Go ahead, but I'm not sure I'll be able
to give you an answer.”

“
I
get that,” Chase said. “I was wondering what it was like
after you came out. I know, my situation is a little different than
yours, but I was wondering what I might expect.”

Ryan
inhaled deeply. “First off, we didn't come out – we were
forced out, and that came with its own set of circumstances. I had
media trucks living in front of my apartment building for a couple of
months and when I did risk leaving home, I was followed around and
harassed relentlessly. It wasn't much different for Dagger, except
his estate has the necessary security in place to keep the media at a
distance and he had bodyguards to help him when he went out, too. I
didn't have that luxury.”

“
Damn!
That doesn't sound like much fun at all,” Chase said.

“
Saying
it was hell would be sugarcoating it,” Ryan said. “Plus,
I was dealing with this alone because Dagger and I had broken-up. I
don't think you'll have to worry about any of that. Zander has
already been outed, so it would just be you coming out. Right?”

“
Yeah,
technically,” Chase said. “I guess what makes our
situation different is the
type
of relationship we want to have and bringing that out for public
scrutiny.”

“
I
have no personal experience with how you'd deal with that particular
scenario,” Ryan said. “All I have to offer for advice is
simply be true to yourself. There's nothing wrong with how you chose
to live your private life or who you want to love. Don't let the
haters tell you otherwise.”

“
I
worry about the impact this will have on Danni,” Chase said.
“I don't want her to suffer for who I am.”

“
She
loves you,” Ryan said. “Part of loving you is being able
to accept and love all of your different pieces – even the
piece that needs to love men. Do your best to ignore the negative,
because no mater what you do it will always be there. Focus on the
positive. That's all you can do.”

“
Thanks,
that's really good advice,” Chase said.

“
At
least you'll be able to come out on your own terms,” Ryan said.
“Use that to your advantage and do it slowly; maybe tell only
a few people at a time and go from there. And, if you ever need to
talk or vent, call me. Zander knows how to get in touch with us.”

Chase nodded again, then
extended his hand to Ryan to shake. “I appreciate you taking
the time to offer some insight with this.”

“
No
worries,” Ryan said. “I'm happy to help.”

At
the other end of the patio, Alex ran his guitar pick over the strings
to his favorite acoustic guitar, bring the instrument to life and
grabbing the attention of everyone in attendance. Cooper settled in
behind his much downsized drum kit, Wheland randomly fingered a few
notes on his bass, and Jared and Tony also took their places with the
band. Dagger stood off to the side, warming up his fingers on
another acoustic guitar belonging to Alex, ready to go to work on
Alex's signal.