Taking Chances (36 page)

If only you
knew how much I wanted you to kiss me
, “Don’t be hard on yourself. Let’s
just go back to how we’ve been, okay?”

“Alright.” He attempted
a smile and peaked at my cards, “Thank God we’re not playing with money.”

“That bad?” I
grimaced but was glad for his change of subject and mood.

“Bad? Harper,
you don’t even have a pair. So yeah, it’s bad.” He smiled wider and that dimple
flashed at me.

My breath
caught. If I was smart or selfless, I would ask him to leave right now and not
come back. But I was the opposite of both, I needed him more than I was willing
to admit to myself, and I wanted him here even if I had to ignore my feelings.

***

The hardest
parts over the next month had been clearing out Chase's station at the shop,
and packing up his room at each house. I found the ring he had been planning on
proposing with, but couldn't bring myself to open the white box. I'd handed it
off to Bree so fast, and she'd left the room before looking in it. Mom and Bree
put it in a safe; we'd all agreed to keep it, even though I still refused to look
at it. Other than those times, our hearts all continued to heal and grow
stronger, right along with my little gummy bear. He and my stomach were both
measuring bigger than the thirty weeks I was, as of today, and Dr. Lowdry was
now positive I wouldn't make it the full forty weeks. Bree put a basketball in
her shirt, and I was still bigger than that. I had frowned when I saw the
picture, but everyone laughed and said I was the cutest pregnant woman they'd
seen. My legs and arms hadn't changed a bit, my hips were not even a fraction
of an inch wider, the only difference was my chest and stomach. To prove their
point, they took a picture of my back, I looked like normal Harper
again...until I turned to the side or faced front. We were all making bets for
when the baby would be born, Mom said August twenty-third, Dad and I said
September third – which was Labor Day – mostly as a joke, Brandon's vote was
September fifteenth and Bree and Konrad thought I should have to go the full
forty weeks plus some with October eighth. The majority of our time together
was spent with at least one person's hands on me, since Gummy Bear was
constantly dancing, rolling around and practicing karate in my belly.

Mom and Dad
were taking a lot of weekend trips lately, and Breanna and Konrad were almost
never seen without the other. Though we were all healing and fully back into
our normal lives, everyone was still very aware of how fragile life was, and
were always trying to spend it with their significant other. With that in mind,
each one of us, including Konrad and Brandon, had tried contacting Sir in some
way to see if he would take back his words and let me into his life. Not one of
us had gotten through or heard back from him. Two weeks ago, I had finally told
everyone to just stop. Sir was stubborn and he wasn't going to change just
because six people hounded him for a few weeks.

 Mom and Bree
were having way too much fun picking out clothes and nursery items for Gummy Bear,
and buying maternity clothes for me. I was like their own personal life-size
doll. I didn't complain though, it was fun and it made them so happy, so I
continued to go along with everything. The only time the extended family could
get together was Fourth of July, so we'd had an early baby shower when they
were all in town for Mom and Dad's annual party. The only girls I'd been
friends with other than Bree had all graduated at the beginning of June, so
there weren't a ton of women at the shower, but we'd all had so much fun and
being surrounded by Chase's family was more perfect than I could have hoped for.
We'd invited Brandon's mom, but she and Jeremy had flown back to Arizona for
two weeks to spend with her family, and today would be my first time seeing her
since right after Christmas.

Brandon continued
to come every day and despite what we were both so obviously wanting, always
kept it on a friendly level. Not saying that wasn't hard, but it's what we had
to do. We hadn’t brought up the day at the beach or my bathroom again, and he
seemed happy just to be around. Every time I saw him he'd give me a hug, bend
down so his face was almost pressed to my swollen belly and greet the baby.
Sometimes just a 'Hello' and 'How are you treating your momma today?', and
others he'd give a full recap of his and Konrad's morning surfing. It made my
heart warm and stomach flip, but I wouldn't tell him that.

Like I'd
suspected, Brandon was fighting again, and though I hated it, I kept my mouth
shut. It wasn't my place, and it gave him a thrill and paid his bills, so who
was I to voice my opinion? He still hadn't lost a fight, and thank God hadn't
been back to the hospital. That didn't mean there wasn't a new bruise or cut
brow every now and then though. Jeremy, Konrad, Bree and I went to every fight,
I would sit there shaking and cringing until it was over, and after he'd
showered and changed, would inspect his new injuries if there were any. Brandon
laughed every time but let me do my inspections without complaint.

Breanna, Mom
and I were coming back from another wonderful appointment of seeing my bear and
getting a pedicure when my heart rate doubled. Brandon's Jeep was already in
the driveway, and I couldn’t wait to see him and show him the new ultrasound
pictures. What was coming later, seeing his mom again, I definitely wasn't
thrilled for. I'd cheated on Brandon weeks after last seeing her, and I'm sure
she didn't like the fact that Brandon and I were friends again. I forced myself
to walk slowly to the house, but I don't think I was fooling Mom or Bree. As
soon as I was through the door, Brandon was hugging me and reaching for the
pictures.

“Look at him!
He was asleep, but look at him sucking his thumb!” I exclaimed. Mom and Bree
giggled when they passed us. Yeah, not fooling them.

He dropped down
to a squat and put his hands tenderly on my stomach, “Hey little man!” Brandon's
deep husky voice was warm and melodic whenever he spoke to him. “How could you
sleep through the whole appointment, huh? Your momma was hoping to see you
moving around today. Next time, right buddy?”

I watched the
one sided conversation, biting my lip to keep from grinning like an idiot.
Brandon would be such a good father.
Whoa. Where did that come from? Don't
go down that road Harper.

Brandon stood
back up and absentmindedly began tracing shapes along my stomach. “What did Dr.
Lowdry say?”

“She said
everything's great!” That was another thing, he always asked how I felt and how
the appointments went. Even Konrad and Dad didn't do that, “I go back in
another two weeks, she said he's still big, so there's a possibility she's
going to put me on bedrest after my next appointment to try to keep him in
there as long as possible.”

“Bedrest?” His
hazel eyes looked worried, “But she said everything is okay?”

I smoothed out
his furrowed brow, and stared at his eyes. I'd finally figured them out. They
were brown if he was shirtless, or wearing a brown or white shirt. Gray if he
was wearing a black or gray shirt. Green was pretty self-explanatory, he had to
be wearing green, and any other color would make his eyes the perfect mix of
the three. “It's fine, don't worry about it.
If
I have to, it's just to
make sure he doesn't come
too
early.” He still looked nervous, “So! How
about we go see your mom?”

After a few
moments, all the worry left his eyes and a slow unsure smile spread across his
face, “I have something for you, Harper.”

“Really? What
is it?”

He took my hand
and started walking me down the hall, “Promise me something, if you don't like
it, you have to tell me.”

“I'm sure I'll
love it…you have it in the nursery?” I asked confused when we walked up to the
door.

“Promise.”

“I promise.” I
squeezed his hand tight and opened the door. I didn't have to search around for
it, or them should I say. “Oh my God. Brandon. Did you buy these?” Yes, I know
that was a stupid question, but I couldn't believe this.

“Is that okay?”

“No, I mean
yes, it is. But Brandon, that's a lot of money!” There was a dark cherry wood
crib, dresser, changing table and a large leather glider chair. I remembered
how much Brandon made from winning those fights, but I knew exactly how much these
all cost since I was planning on buying them myself, and they definitely
weren't cheap.

He shrugged, “I
just need to know if you like them.”

“I do, I
absolutely love them.” He'd even put the bedding in the crib that I'd bought.
“You shouldn't be spending your money on this.” I walked over to touch
everything and picked up one of the baby blankets Bree had bought and draped it
back over the edge of the crib.

Brandon came up
behind me and turned me so I was facing him, “I wanted to do this for you.”

“But that is
really expensive Brandon.”

“Harper,” he
smiled softly at me, “please don't worry about it.”

I smiled and
took a quick glance around me again, “Did you put them all together by
yourself?”

He nodded,
“Bree texted me as soon as you guys left this morning. I had just finished when
she said you guys were down the street.”

“And you set up
the bedding too?”

“No,” he huffed
a laugh, “I'm pretty sure I would have messed that up. They must have ran in to
do it while we were talking.”

That made more
sense. “Thank you,” I reached up and kissed his cheek, “so much.”

“You're more
than welcome Harper.” He roughly whispered. After a few minutes of us silently
holding each other, his phone rang. “What's up? Yeah, we'll be there in an
hour. Alright. Bye.”

“Jeremy?” I guessed.

“Yeah, he said Mom’s
afraid we aren’t going to show. So are you ready?”

I nodded but
inside I was shaking my head furiously.

We said bye to
the family and headed over to his mom's house, stopping to get some Golden
Spoon for the four of us on the way since I'd been having ridiculous cravings
for anything sweet lately, and secretly thought I needed to come with some form
of a peace offering. I was shaking by the time we pulled up in front of the
gorgeous house overlooking the beach, I hadn't even been this nervous when I
first met her. Brandon was carrying the Golden Spoon bag full of frozen yogurt
and toppings and I seriously considered ripping it out of his hands so I could
use it as some sort of shield, but the door was already opening.

“Hi sweetie!”
His mom smiled and pulled me into a warm hug. Guess the shield hadn't been
necessary.

“Hey Mrs.
Taylor.”

Brandon
chuckled softly and attempted to turn it into a cough, I guess he could hear
the quiver in my voice.

“Oh come on
now, you know you can call me Carrie.”

That offer
still stood? Good to know. I smiled and tried to sound normal this time,
“How've you been? I love your new place, I'm so glad you decided to move here!”

“Us too! We
needed a change and I love this side of the family.” She gasped and her fingers
flew to her mouth and then fluttered to my stomach, “Oh, look how big your
belly is! How far along are you now?”

My jaw dropped,
“Uh, thirty weeks.” Did she think it was Brandon's baby or something? She was
acting just the same as at Christmas.

“You're so
close! Are you ready for him to finally be here?”

She even knew
it was a boy? I shot a questioning look to Brandon but he was getting
everything out of the bags and putting it on the counter. “Yes and no. I want
to hold him and see him, but I think I'll miss this.” I said pointing to where
he was currently sleeping.

“That's exactly
how I felt with both of them, I think that's normal.” She rubbed her hand over
it once more and turned to Brandon, “You got frozen yogurt! Oh my God it's like
you read my mind! I've been craving it all day.”

Apparently I'd
been stressing out over nothing. This had definitely not gone as I'd feared.
Brandon handed me my bowl and said he was going to check on Jeremy. Carrie sat
down next to me at the table and gave my hand a quick squeeze.

“I've missed
you girl! How are things? How are you doing after what happened to Chase? I was
so sorry to hear about that.”

“I'm okay, so
is his family. We're just trying to move on, but it was really hard at first.”

Her mouth
tilted up in a sympathetic smile, “I know how hard that can be. Brandon was so
worried about you, but you're strong, I knew you would make it through this.”

“Um, Carrie?
About Brandon.” I gulped down an imaginary lump in my throat, “Why are you
being so nice to me? I thought you would hate me.”

She seemed to
think about her next words for a minute, her smile now warm and her eyes
bright, “Honestly, I was really hurt for my son when he told us what happened,
but even then, I couldn't hate you. You'd made a mistake, and you were trying
to deal with the consequences.” Carrie glanced over her shoulder to where
Brandon had left a few minutes ago, “One way or another, you and Brandon will
always be in each other’s lives. The way he looks at you is the same way Liam
looked at me for fifteen years. You still look at my son that same way, even
after all that has happened. How could I ever hate someone who loves my son and
holds his heart?”

“But we aren't
together.” I whispered, it almost sounded like a question.

“Maybe it'll stay
that way,” she shrugged, “and maybe it won't.”

I should have
told her that we had to remain just friends, so she wouldn't continue to think
that someday he and I might be together again, but I couldn't bring myself to
say it.

“And don't
think I didn't notice that you didn't deny being in love with him.” She winked
and took a big bite.