Taking Something (19 page)

“Where to?” the cabby asked.

“One second.” I smiled at him through the rearview mirror as I pulled my phone from my pocket and pulled up Gia's address. I read off the number and street and leaned back against my seat.

“You got it.” The driver threw it in gear and we took off in the complete opposite direction I should have been going.

When the cab pulled to a stop in front of Gia's house, I looked the place over. No lights. It was after midnight. I should have known better than to show up. Not to mention, her daughter was probably sound asleep and she'd be pissed if I woke her up. I hopped out of the cab and quietly closed the door behind me.

“Keep it running,” I leaned over and told the driver through the window. I wasn't planning on staying long. I just needed to see her. To tell her about the song. I had been drinking, but I was far from drunk, although, judging by my decision-making skills at the moment, you couldn't tell. I slipped up the front porch steps and rapped on the door as quietly as possible, hoping she'd hear. The light over my head switched on after a minute and I saw her brown eyes peering at me through the small glass window in the door. I smiled and mouthed, “Sorry,” for waking her up.

“What are you doing here? It's like two o'clock in the morning,” she whispered as she stepped outside and carefully pulled the door shut behind her.

“They played my song at a club tonight,” I said, grinning ear to ear. “My song. Can you believe it? It was so awesome.”

“That's great,” she said with a genuine smile that quickly faded. “But you can't just show up here at all hours of the night, Nick. Audrey is sleeping. She has school tomorrow.”

“I know, I know,” I said, putting my hands up and surrendering. “I just… I…” I couldn't think. There she was in a pair of baggy sweats and t-shirt that was two sizes too big. Her hair was shoveled on top of her head into what looked like a rat's nest and she had no makeup on. I'd never seen anything more beautiful. I finally found the words. “I had to see you.”

“Well stop,” she begged, her eyes heavy with emotion. “We're just friends, remember? You can't think about me like that.”

“Not possible.” I stepped closer to her and slipped my arm around her waist. “I can't stop,” I confessed. I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about her and I couldn't stop myself from what I was about to do next.

She looked up at me, and before she could say or do anything, I crushed my lips to hers and watched her eyes widen. Her hands went to my chest, grabbing two fistfuls of my shirt. I waited for her to push me away—to tell me to leave—but instead she let her eyes fall shut and pulled me closer to her. Her lips parted. I nipped her bottom lip between my teeth before letting my tongue find hers and tasting her for the first time.

Heaven.

I couldn't get enough.

She quietly moaned against my lips as I backed her up to the door. I let my hand slip under the shirt she was wearing and ran my fingers across her smooth skin above the waistband of her sweats, noting the dimples above her tailbone that I most definitely wanted to see up close and personal. I pushed my body against hers. Letting her feel the effect she was having on me. My cock was straining against my jeans, reminded me just how painful this whole thing could be. I shouldn't have been there kissing her, but dammit if I was going to stop. She had a hold on me that I couldn't figure out.

“I want you so bad,” I whispered against her lips. I bent my knees and pressed up against her again. Even through our clothes, she felt amazing. Imagining how surreal it would feel with nothing between us sent the blood pulsing in overdrive to my cock. When her arms moved up around my neck and she twisted her fingers in my hair, I thought she might give me the go-ahead. Ask me in. Give in to everything we'd been fighting. She pulled her lips from mine and rested her forehead against mine.

She exhaled. “You can't want me.”

“I can't not,” I disagreed, dipping my hand under her sweats and cupping her ass. “I know you want me too,” I whispered. Her head fell back against the door. I placed my open mouth on her neck and felt her pulse speed under my tongue. Her fingers dug into me with every movement I made, tugging me closer before starting to push me away. She did want me even if she was fighting it.

“Nick, we can't do this,” she mumbled, apparently letting her conscience get the best of her once again. “You can't just come over here after drinking all night and say you want me.”

“I haven't even had that much to drink,” I insisted, pressing my lips back to hers like she was my air. I inhaled her, deepening our kiss.

“Stop,” she begged, pulling her hands from my neck and pressing them against my chest. She nudged me back, looking up at me with torment in her eyes. “You're drunk, Nick. Go home.”

“What do you want me to say, Gia?” I asked, upset that she was too worried about how much I'd had to drink to actually hear what I was saying.
I wanted her.
Her “We can't do this” spiel was starting to piss me off. No matter how many times she said, it still didn't stop the feelings I had. And dammit, she’d just kissed me back. Like
really
kissed me back. “You want me to tell you that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the first time I met you? That I just had probably the best night of my life and the first person I wanted to tell about it was you? I know you feel something,” I reasoned, my voice deepening. “Stop fighting me and just admit it.”

“I do,” she confessed. “All kinds of things,” she added with a look of uncertainty as she leaned in, tempting me to put my lips back on hers. As quickly as the moment had presented itself, she pulled away. “Including guilt. We can't do this. You're with Sadie.”

“I don't have to be,” I suggested as she stared at me and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. “Say the word and I'll leave her.”

“Are you willing to give up your career for this? For us?”

Am I?
Could I really just leave Sadie and all my hard work behind me for a future with Gia? An uncertain future, at that? No job. No prospects. Give it all up for just love or lust or whatever it was between us? My eyes locked with hers as I tried to come up with the right words to make this situation justifiable, but I was at a loss.

My saying yes meant both of us being out of a job. I wouldn't be able to get a job anywhere in the music industry with Sadie bashing my name all over the place. Plus, Gia had Audrey to think about. There was no way Gia would sign up for a relationship that involved me roaming around like a gypsy as a Deejay. That wasn't a stable lifestyle for anyone, including a child. Not to mention that she'd already told me that she didn't want to hurt Sadie again.

“I didn't think so,” she said, placing her hand on my cheek and giving me a warm, understanding look only she was capable of. “You need to go home. To Sadie.” She reached down behind her and opened up the door. As she pulled her hand from my face and stepped inside, I wanted to tell her that things could work out, but she already knew, as well as I did, that there was no future for us.

As I slinked back to the cab, utterly defeated, I kept reminding myself that Gia was not the girl for me. Even if the way our mouths fit together had seemed like perfection. She was too good for me. I had found the girl for me. The one who could give me what I wanted out of life.

If you surveyed one hundred people who knew me, they would probably say Sadie was my perfect counterpart. The girl I deserved. I didn't get the sweet, caring, selfless girl. She always ended up with the nice guy. The Tuckers and the Landrys of the world.

T
HE NEXT
couple days went off almost without a hitch. I tried to forget about that front porch kiss with Gia, which would have been simple had she not shown back up to work. Luckily, we kept the time we spent around each other to a minimum. Each morning when I heard her quietly milling around in the kitchen—preparing Sadie's breakfast—I rolled back over and tried to go back to sleep, despite the urge to go talk to her. When she came into the studio, I pulled on my headphones so that I wouldn't have to hear her shifting on the sofa behind me as she organized Sadie's schedule on her iPad or called in lunch orders. I purposely waited until I knew she was gone for the evening before going over to Sadie's. I was slowly flushing her from my system. Only problem was, every time I accidentally looked into her eyes or heard her voice during a break in the music, I was right back to square one. She was like that last bit of heroin running through my veins. The little bit that keeps begging for more.

Sadie and I spent a little more time in the studio finishing up her backing vocals and a couple riffs she wanted to rework. She'd been oddly calm and undramatic lately. It was making our fake relationship almost bearable. And it was bugging the hell out of me.

“Sade,” I said into the mic from the control room. “Anything else you want to work on before we wrap this thing up? I know you had some other songs you wanted to record.”

“I'm good.” She smiled. “Maybe we'll save them for the next record.”

“You're sure?” I asked again. Something was for sure wrong with her. All I'd heard for the past month was how much she wanted to record her own music. How she wanted to be a singer-songwriter.

“Yep,” she replied.

I'd had enough. I needed to know what was going on with her, if for nothing else than my own sanity. I made my way into the recording booth and sat down on a metal stool across from her.

“What is going on?” I crossed my arms and waited for her to talk. We'd been dancing around each other for days. Not really talking. Her just agreeing with every word I’d said. Not having sex. Things that were very out of the ordinary when it came to us.

“Nothing.”

“Come on, Sadie,” I said, trying to coerce her to talk. “Something is up. You're not acting like yourself. You're being all…complacent. And quiet. It's weird. Something is definitely up.”

She let out a heavy breath and averted her eyes to the ceiling as she shook her head. Almost as if she couldn't look at me. Like maybe she was going to cry if she did. I walked over to her and placed my arms on hers as she drew them up across her chest.

“Tell me what the matter is,” I pleaded.

“What do you want from me Nick?” She dropped her head and her eyes found mine, desperate for an answer.

“What do you mean?”

“First you complain that I'm too jealous or that I want too much from you.” She stepped back, removing herself from my hands. “So I try to be nice.
Complacent.
And it's still not right. I'm running out of ways to keep you happy.”

“What are you talking about? I am happy. Things are good between us.” I took a step forward, reaching out for her, only for her to push my hand down.

“Are they?” she asked, letting some of the heat and passion return to her voice. It was first time I'd heard her sound like herself since last week. “Because I don't think they are. You think I don't know who you really want. You think I'm stupid.”

“No,” I lied. I didn't think she was the brightest crayon in the box, but I certainly had not thought she knew what she said next.

“You think I don't know that you have feelings for Gia? That you haven't been sneaking around to see her behind my back?”

“I haven't,” I lied again.

“Well now I think
you're
stupid,” she jeered. “You really think my Range Rover can drive down the street without my publicist calling and asking what I'm up to? I know you've been to her house and I know that you know about Audrey. I could tell by the way you acted toward Landry the other night. Like you were sizing him to see if he was really the jerk Gia said he was.”

“Okay,” I gave it up. “I have seen her and I know about Audrey, but we are just friends. I swear.” As I stood there and fed her a line of complete bullshit, I started to wonder if this was all really worth it. Sadie was standing in front of me, practically handing me an out. I could tell her the truth and walk away. Sure, I'd probably have to start over career-wise, and I've had the bad karma of Sadie Sinclair attached to me forever, but at least I'd be done with this front. “You're the one I want, Sadie.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.” There were only a million perfectly good reasons why I couldn't leave. “You've got to believe me.” She had to. Sadie was my girlfriend whether I loved her or not. I had too much invested to walk away now. Gia didn't want me. Sadie did.

“I'm not going to play second fiddle to her again, Nick. I'm sick and tired of being the alternative to Gianna Grayson. First the recording contract, then Landry. It's exhausting.”

It was the first time Sadie confirmed what I’d already known about Landry. Her eyes were as serious as I’d ever seen them—the green of them vibrant with rage or jealousy, I wasn't sure which. “If you want to be with her, then go! And take this album with you. I love this record. I really do. But if you think I want to release it and have a constant reminder of you leaving me for her on the radio, then you can fuck off.”

“I don't,” I told her for the exact reason she'd mentioned. This album had to be a success. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had a perfectly recorded album sitting on shelf somewhere collecting dust while I bounced around from club to club just spinning records. I needed more. “I want to be with you.”