Taking Something (20 page)

I reached out again, but this time she let me pull her into my arms. I let out a relieved breath. Sadie was my life now. She had to be.

“Hey, Rae,” I said, looking at her on the screen of my laptop. I hadn't seen her in almost a month. “You look beautiful as always.” I grinned.

I'd missed seeing her face. Even if she wasn't my girl, she was still my best friend, and right now, I really needed one. Her look had changed a bit. Her lips were fuller, her cheeks slightly rounded. A result of nine months of pregnancy, I guessed.

“Cut the crap. I look like death warmed over,” she snapped. “I haven't slept through the night in weeks and my ankles are swollen beyond recognition. I'm ready to get this baby out of me.”

“Well, I think you look great,” I assured her, recalling the warning Tucker had given me the last time we’d talked about her being on a hormonal warpath as of late.

“Your screen obviously isn't showing you the bags under my eyes,” she added with a chuckle. “So what's up? How goes the deception?”

“Oh it's going,” I sighed. “Sadie is eating out of the palm of my hand just the way I'd planned. Album is almost finished and she's been above par in the girlfriend category. Can't really complain.”

“So why do you look like you want to?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“Even if I wanted to, I can't. I have everything going just the way I planned.”

“Do you? The production gig is everything you'd hoped for, huh?” she asked with a look of skepticism.

“Yep. Perfect.”

“You're lying.”

“No I'm not,” I insisted. “It's all good.”

“You know why you always lost when you played cards?” She smirked.

“I didn't always lose,” I defended.

“You know why you
almost
always lost when you played cards?” she rephrased. “Because you've got a horrible tell. Any time you're excited or lying or scared, you swallow really hard before speaking. Almost like you’re choking on what you really want to say.” She paused, her eyes wide through the screen. I knew what she was waiting for, and when I got ready to speak, I felt my throat clench. Like a golf ball was stuck in my windpipe. “Out with it,” she demanded.

“I made a mistake,” I blurted out, trying to stop my tell. “A couple actually.” I watched her place her elbow on the table her computer was sitting on. She rested her chin on her hand, settling in for my confessional. “It's Gia.”

“Sadie's assistant?”

“The one and only. You know what? I kind of blame you for this. You're the one who suggested I was attracted to her and that's what got me thinking.”

“Oh no you don't.” She wagged her finger at the screen. “You are not going to blame me for this. All I did was state the obvious. I could hear it in your voice when you talked about her the first time.”

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Well for whatever reason, I can't quit thinking about her. We had a couple moments and…a kiss. Now my head is spinning when it should be focusing on Sadie and my career.”

“Whoa, back up. A couple moments and a kiss? And who, my dear friend, initiated these moments and the kiss?”

I didn't answer. I didn't have to. Lila knew me too well.

She threw her hands up. “Jesus, Nick. Why do you do this?”

“Do what? It's not my fault. There is something between us. I've tried to fight it, Rae. I really have.”

“Oh I'm sure,” she grumbled.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means. Why do you insist on sabotaging yourself? You knew the moment you laid eyes on that poor girl that you couldn't be with her. Not after you'd tethered yourself to Sadie. But instead of steering clear, you go and put yourself in a fucked-up situation to…what? Prove that you can? To tempt yourself with what you know you can't have? It's a sad game, Nick, and it's time for you to grow up.”

Hormonal warpath was right. She was being flat-out mean. Even if I did deserve it.

“That's not how it happened.”

“No? You mean you didn't go out of your way to be around her? You didn't show up in places you knew you shouldn't be? Or say or do things to get her to fall for you?”

“So it's my fault if I'm charming?”

“Yes,” she assured. “It is most definitely your fault when you know you shouldn't be engaging with her. Why tempt yourself? Why tempt
her
?”

“I don't know,” I practically growled, throwing my hands up in defeat and leaning back against the headboard of my hotel bed. Sadie had a dress fitting for her release party next week. Luckily for me, I was able to have this conversation with Lila in private. “Look, I asked Gia what she wanted to me to do. Told her all she had to do was give me the word and I'd leave Sadie for her.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” she fumed, her cheeks red with frustration. “You told her to make the decision for you? How romantic!” Her words dripped with sarcasm. “That's pathetic. You can't ask her to make the decision for you. She should have slapped you in the face.”

“What do you want me to do?!” I'd had it. I didn't have to sit here and take her berating.

“Figure it out! I'm past the point of thinking you'll do the right thing, Nick. Why don't you prove me wrong?”

With that, she slammed the screen of her laptop shut, promptly ending our conversation.

I raised my head up and pounded it against the headboard a couple times, hoping that I could beat some sense into myself. Lila was right. I was a screw-up, but I didn't know how to change that fact.

Should I come clean with Sadie? Tell her I wanted to be with Gia? Should I walk away from Gia and focus all my energy on Sadie for the career I always wanted? I hated making decisions. When was I going to get to be the guy who got everything he wanted without having to lie and manipulate for it?

I'd spent my whole life trying to make things happen for myself, and then when I’d thought I had everything I wanted, I’d fucked it up. I'd done it with Lila and now I was repeating the same mistakes all over again.

Standing abruptly, I began pacing my hotel suite as if I'd find the answers by wearing a hole in the carpet, asking myself over and over again what was most important to me. I didn't know.

Career. Love. Sadie. Gia.

“Fuck,” I hissed into the air before running my hands over my face and through my hair. The chirp of my cell phone called out from the nightstand.

TUCKER
flashed across the screen.
Perfect
. Just what I needed. A lecture from my big brother about pissing off his wife.

“Tucker, I’m really not in the mood right now,” I snapped into the phone. I started to defend my actions and the way our conversation had gone down, but Tucker cut me off.

“I don't care!” he yelled. “Her water broke as soon as she got off the phone with you. We are on our way to the hospital.”

“Shit! I'm sorry! I didn't mean—”

“I know. She knows,” Tucker reassured me. “She wants you to come home. For the baby. So get your ass here.”

“I'm on the next flight,” I promised. “And Tuck,” I added.

“Yeah?”

“Congrats.”

“Thanks, bro. See you soon.”

“I
HAVE
to go home,” I told Sadie on the phone as I packed up my suitcase. She was still at her dress fitting. “My sister-in-law is in labor.”

“Sister-in-law?” she asked. “I didn't know you had a brother.” I hadn't really shared anything about myself with Sadie. Why would I? The only thing she cared about was herself.

“You never asked,” I huffed. “So there's a flight leaving in like four hours. I'm just going to head straight to the airport from here.”

“Okay,” she stated calmly. “Do you want me to come with you?” she asked sweetly. “I'd love to meet your family.”

I felt my throat tighten. I didn't want her to meet my family. Ever. That might have been my first moment of clarity. Sadie Sinclair didn't mean anything to me, but they did—Tucker and Lila and this baby. I didn't want to introduce someone I didn't legitimately care about into that world.

“That's all right,” I told her. “Why don't you take a vacation too? Rest up before this big album launch. I should be back in a few days.”

“Oh, okay. I might see if Sheena and few people want to head down to Cabo for the weekend.”

“That's sounds fun,” I told her, closing my room door and walking down the hall to the elevator. “I'll text you when I know when I'll be back. I'm getting on the elevator now, so I'll talk to you soon. Have a good trip.”

“I'll miss you.”

“You too,” I lied. “Talk soon.” I ended our call and stepped into the elevator. I had one more stop to make before I headed to the airport.

I didn't even have to look up her address on my phone this time. I had it memorized at this point. When the driver pulled up to her curb, I jumped out, ran up to the door, and pounded my fist against it.

“Trying to knock it down or what?” Gia laughed when she pulled the door open. This was not a laughing matter. At least not yet. We could laugh about my knocking after I asked her.

“Come to Chicago with me?”

She stared at me in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Lila is in labor. I'm going home for a few days. Come with me.”

“I can't.” She shook her head.

“Yes you can. Please. It's a just a few days.”

“What about Sadie? I have to work.”

“No you don't. She's going to Cabo. I'm sure she's already texted you about arranging it. Just come with me. Just the two of us. Please just give me two days. No Sadie, no jobs, nothing. Just me and you.”

She had a timid look in her eyes as she took a minute to process what I was asking of her. I was walking up to the edge of a cliff and asking her to jump with me.

“Gia, I’ve been a complete ass for…well, most of my life. And I can’t explain what’s going on between us. But like you said, if we’re even going to consider giving it all up for this, don’t we owe it to ourselves to at least figure out what
this
is? Away from all the bullshit?”

For a split second, I had her. Our gazes locked hard, practically colliding into one another’s, and I knew she was with me.

Until her real world mentality caught up.

She shook her head slowly. “I can’t, Nick. What about Audrey?”

“Bring her,” I answered, not caring if she tagged along. I wanted to spend time with Gia, but Audrey would be an added bonus.

“She has school.”

“I can keep her,” a voice called out from behind Gia. Her sister. Or cousin. I couldn't remember which, but I wanted to give her a big hug for her offer.

“See?” I grinned. “All taken care of.”

“You remember my sister, Paula?” Gia said, reintroducing us.

“Good to see you again,” I greeted her, placing my hands together to praise her. “And thank you.”

“Don't thank me just yet,” she cautioned. “I only volunteered because I think my sister needs to give herself a chance to figure out what the deal is between you two. I'm sick and tired of hearing her go back and forth about it.”

“You've been talking about me?” I asked Gia, smiling. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, her cheeks blushing at her sister’s sharing of intel. “Grab a bag. Flight leaves in a few hours.”

“This is crazy.”
She hasn't said no yet.
“How long will we be gone?”