Taking Something (24 page)

D
ON'T LEAVE.
On my way back. Baby is awesome. Perfect little girl.

I typed out the message to Gia, letting her know not to leave the apartment as I hailed a cab. Keeping my phone in my hand and waiting for her reply as the driver took me back to my place, I assumed she had either fallen asleep or was in the shower. I couldn't wait to tell her about Bailey—and how I felt about her. I felt lighter on my feet as I skipped up the four flights of stairs to my apartment.

“Gia!” I yelled out, tossing my keys down and heading for the bedroom. “I can't wait for you to see the baby. Lila needed to rest so I told them that we'd—” Unease settled in when I realized I was talking to myself. I turned to the bathroom. Darkness. Silence. Not what I had been expecting. At all.

I flipped on the lights and pulled my phone from my pocket. Nothing. I felt my chest tighten and my heart threatening to beating stop altogether. When I noticed that the bag she'd brought with her from LA was no longer on the living room sofa, my legs went weak.

She's gone.

My mind started riffling through our goodbye. Things had been perfect. I didn't understand. I dialed her number, waiting ring after ring for what seemed like eternity. I felt like I couldn't swallow. Like I couldn't breathe. Like all the fucking air had been sucked from the room.

“I'm sorry,” she answered finally.

“Where are you? Please tell me that you didn't run away. From me. From us,” I stammered into the phone. My free hand quickly found my hair and pulled nervously at it as I waited for her reply.

“It's too complicated, Nick,” she began. “I thought I could do it, but after you left…” I could hear uncertainty in her voice, but she rambled on so quickly, I could barely get a word in. “I'm sorry. It's not going to work. You are with Sadie and she's com—”

“And nothing,” I argued, cutting her sentence short. “I'm not with Sadie. I'm with you. I want to be with you.”

“But you can't be. Don't you see that? If you tell Sadie about us, she will end your career and mine. I can't afford to not have a job and neither can you.”

“That's a bullshit excuse and you know it,” I snapped.

“It's not bullshit. It's reality.”

“Just come back. Talk to me,” I pleaded. “I love you.” There they were. The three words I was sure I'd never say and actually mean. And Jesus did I mean them.

“I can't see you anymore,” she stated. “It's too hard and I…I lose myself when I'm with you. Just please, go be with her and be happy. Forget about me.” With that, she hung up, leaving me with a million things I wanted to say and no one to say them to.

I'd never felt more defeated. I wanted to punch the wall, throw my phone, and cry all at the same time.
Forget about her?
How in the hell did she expect me to just forget about her? Especially after the night we’d just shared.

I'd already told her I was finished with Sadie. What more did she want from me?

She was scared and she was choosing working for Sadie over being with me.

I stared at my phone, my thumb hovering over the call back button, thinking if I just had a chance to talk to her again I could make her see that she was what I wanted. A knock pulled me from the black hole I was falling into. I jumped to my feet and rushed to open it.

She's back. She realizes she made a mistake and came back to me.
Pulling open the door, expecting to see a brunette, but seeing a fiery redhead instead felt like a punch to the gut.

“I missed you,” Sadie announced as she threw herself into my arms, firmly planting her lips on mine, her tongue jetting between my lips before I had a chance to stop it.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I freed myself from her arms.

“I thought you’d be more excited to see me,” she pouted. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“You surprised me all right.” I took a step back, wanting to put some distance between us. I was hoping that there was a possibility that Gia was going to come running back through the door.

I didn't even care if Sadie saw her in Chicago. At least it would be one less thing stopping us from being together. Time stood still around me as I watched the door close on emptiness. I could hear Sadie blabbering on, but I was too focused on the stairwell to comprehend a word she'd said. A cold hand grabbed my face and my reality came crashing back to me. Sadie pulled my face to hers.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” she snapped.

“Nothing,” I promised, quickly falling back into my routine of telling her what she wanted to hear. The door finally clicked shut on its own, taking my high hopes of a sudden reunion with it. “I'm sorry. Just tired, I guess.”

Sadie's coming.

That's what Gia had been trying to tell me when we were on the phone. Of course she’d run. She must have gotten word from Sadie that she was coming to Chicago and hauled ass because she was afraid to face her. Afraid to face her feelings. Up until this point, I had been afraid too. Afraid of losing my career and my future, but not anymore.

Whether Gia was with me on this or not, I couldn’t fake it ‘til I made it anymore. I didn't want to be with Sadie. I wasn’t that guy who could keep pretending, living a fabricated life surrounding by lies he had created to get ahead. I had to end things.

“That's a lie,” I blurted out. “There is something wrong, Sadie.”

“Um, yeah.” She laughed. “You need to be a little bit more excited when your girlfriend flies across the country to see you. Do you know that I had to arrange my own flight to get here? My stupid-ass assistant is apparently too busy to do her damn job.”

“Don't call her that,” I instantly defended.

“Excuse me,” she hissed. “What did you just say to me?”

“Don't call your assistant stupid,” I told her. “It's rude and unprofessional and one of the many reasons this thing between us has to end.” The first step was taken. Couldn't go back now. “You and I are not going to work out, Sadie.”

“Are you seriously breaking up with me?”

“Yeah, I am.” I let my head fall. I was ashamed of myself for getting in this situation in the first place. I was the unprofessional one to think that I’d needed to manipulate Sadie's feelings to get what I’d wanted. I was good at my job. I should have just let the music speak for itself instead of complicating things with my scheming bullshit and hurting people. “Sadie, look, I'm sorry. Believe it or not, I really am.”

“Oh, I'm sure you are,” she scoffed. “Is this about Gia?”

“No. It has nothing to do with her. We—you and me—are not good for each other.” I swallowed hard, hoping that maybe she knew it was true.

Even if Gia weren’t in the picture, Sadie and I did not belong together. We had a relationship based on sex, lies, and manipulation. She couldn't want that for herself. I wouldn't let Sadie know that Gia was part of the reason I was ending this whole thing. She’d bailed. It had been her choice to make and she’d made it. I didn’t blame her. This was about my relationship with Sadie—the one that never should have ever been a relationship in the first place.

“This is my fault. I shouldn't have lied to you about my feelings and pushed things so far so fast. I like you Sadie, I really do, but I'm—”

“Don't even try and give me the, ‘it's not you, it's me’ bullshit, Nick,” she seethed.

“But it
is
me, Sadie,” I defended, my hands falling against the tops of my thighs. “I can't keep pretending to be who you want me to be. I've tried and I can't do it anymore.”

“So why drag it out? You could have left the other day. Why keep lying to me? You told me that we were okay. That I was what you wanted.”

“I didn't want to lose my job,” I confessed, feeling a lightness in my chest as I revealed the real reason I'd been with her in the first place. “I thought if I told you the truth, you'd fire me.”

“Well, you were right about that,” she assured. “You'll never be able to get a job in this business when I'm through with you.”

“I figured as much. Believe it or not, I'm okay with it,” I added, much to her dissatisfaction. The look of disdain on her face spoke volumes about what my future had in store for me. “It's time I start owning up to my mistakes.”

“You are one selfish bastard, Nick Kline.” She stepped toward, poking her finger in my face. “I could have made you millions. Given you the world. You're pissing it away because…why? Why? Because you developed a conscience?”

“Maybe I did.” I shrugged, anxious to get her out of my face so I could be on my way back to LA. I had to find Gia and convince that her leaving had been a mistake. “I need to go.”

I
COULDN'T
catch a flight back to LA until the following evening. Sadie, of course, flew back on a private chartered jet. She must have forgotten to offer me a ride as she was telling me to fuck off and never speak to her again.

It gave me a chance to stop back by the hospital and tell Lila and the baby goodbye. A bit of disappointment crept in when Lila told me she'd sent Tucker home for a shower and quick nap before he had to come back to take her and the baby home. It was quickly replaced with relief at not having to look him in the eye and hide the fact that I'd somehow managed to screw up my life once again. It was hard enough to look at my best friend and lie to her. Adding my brother to the mix would have made it even worse.

I didn't want to have to tell either of them that Gia had left me and quit returning my texts or answering my phone calls. I didn't believe that it was just over between us. I had to hear—and see—her say it to my face. After our night together, I knew there was no way her feelings weren't as real as mine were.

“So where is she?” Lila asked, her questioning even more enthusiastic now that she'd been able to catch a few hours of sleep.

“Um, well…” I saw Lila's expression take a turn and knew that she was waiting for me to tell her that it was over between us. That, in my very Nick way, I'd already screwed shit up. I couldn't do that to her. I wouldn't have the happy memories she'd created in this hospital room tainted by my inability to figure out my life. “She's waiting for me downstairs.”

“What? Why?”

“She must have caught something on the plane. A cold, maybe. I don't know.” I sighed. “She was scared that the baby would catch it.”

“Oh,” she sighed, obviously upset that she wasn't going to get to meet the woman I'd practically gushed about earlier. “Well, that sucks. It's really sweet of her to think about the baby though.”

“She's a mother, too,” I told her, which led to an even longer discussion about why I'd failed to mention that fact earlier. I explained to her—without going into too much detail—that, yes, Gia had a daughter. Yes, she was wonderful, and yes, I was pretty much in love with both of them.

“I'm so proud of you, Nick. I never thought that you'd be the kind of man that would willingly enter into a relationship. And with a woman who has a child? You really surprise me sometimes.”

“I'm really trying,” I implored, trying to fight the guilt of not telling her what was actually going on. I wasn't the
good guy
she thought I was.

“I know you are,” she said, reaching out and running her hand across my back as I sat on the edge of her bed, holding the baby one last time before I left.

I cleared my throat, trying to hide any trace of my personal failures from her. “I almost forgot,” I smiled. “Can you snap a picture of me and the baby?” I leaned forward so she could pull my phone from my pocket. “I want to show Gia.” It was killing me to keep lying to people, but I wanted the photo for when I convinced Gia that she'd made a mistake. I’d promised Audrey I'd bring it back and I wouldn't disappoint her. I painted on a grin as she took the picture. Hell, if my music career was over, I might be able to make it in the movies. My acting skills were Oscar-worthy.

As I was handing Bailey back to Lila, I looked down at that sweet little face and made a silent promise that the next time I came back home I'd have my shit together. If I didn't, I didn't deserve to have such amazing people in my life. Didn’t deserve the honor of being called Uncle Nick and risking letting another woman I loved down.