Taming Blaze (12 page)

“Actually, I really didn’t fit in at boarding school,” she said.  “My father has money, but it’s not the same, you know?  People like that, the kids from boarding school?  They don’t really mix with people like me.  My dad cleans up messes for people like them.  No matter how much money I had, I’d never be in that class.  That’s just a fact of life.”  Dani looked up at me
, her expression sad.  “I didn’t fit in there.  I thought I could get away from all that at Stanford.  I was wrong, I guess.”

I fel
t a pang of empathy for her.  It couldn’t have been easy for her, especially after her mother died.  She fidgeted in her seat, and it was obvious she had something to say.  “That stuff you said last night, the stuff about my father?  I know he’s not a good guy.  I’m not naive.”

“I don’t think you’re naive.”  I wasn’t sure what I thought of her at this point.

“I’ve been out of the house since my mother was killed, since I was fourteen.  I don’t know what my father is doing anymore, not really.  What you said about his smuggling, do you really believe that?”

I shrugged.  “I ha
ve no way of knowing for sure.”  Why couldn't I bring myself to tell her that I had gotten angry and said it to hurt her?

“Yet you’re fine
working with him.”

“I didn’t say that.  Not
at all.  But the club voted on it.  Whether I like it or not, it’s what the club decided.”

She d
idn’t say anything after that.

The next couple of weeks
passed slowly.  I always thought of this place as my little time warp.  There was never any rush up here.  Things always just seemed to drift along and I soaked in every ounce of the freshness of this place as if I could somehow bank it and withdraw it when I was back in the soul-sucking city.  I wished I could bring a little of this place with me.  I needed it to keep myself alive, to keep my soul alive - what was what was left of my soul anyway.

I worked the land around the cabin, the brush and the overgrowth getting more and
more unruly, not dead like all the grass in the city during summer.  Here it was only growing out of control, fueled by the shade of the trees and the relative coolness that went with the elevation.  I cleared brush, repaired gutters, immersed myself in the physical labor I loved to do.  It was similar to riding my bike- a way to get lost in something else.  I’d read about meditation, but it wasn’t my thing.  It’s hard to meditate when you’re in a motorcycle clubhouse all the time, but I figured riding and chopping wood were about as close to meditation as I’d ever get.

We developed this weird relationship, Dani and I.  We avoided each other
a lot of the time, me working outside and her inside the house or sitting down by the lake reading.  We barely said anything to each other, even in passing, like we’d reached this unspoken agreement to just co-exist.  She seemed a lot calmer now, and I- shit, I didn’t care if she was Guillermo’s daughter or not, I was dealing with some seriously pent-up frustration.  Being around this girl was infuriating, for so many reasons.  I couldn’t be sure, but I thought she’d been taunting me the past few days, wearing shorts that progressively got shorter and showed off her long legs, brushing up against me as she passed.  Nothing crazy.  She wasn’t throwing herself at me or anything.  But still, it made me wonder.

W
orking the land out here, with Dani nearby, made it easy to forget all the shit going on.  It was almost like we were out here on an extended vacation or something, a regular couple spending time together.  Not the daughter of a crime boss and the hired gun from the motorcycle club hiding from someone trying to kill her.  I needed to remind myself of that fact every time my cock started doing my thinking for me.  My dick needed a reminder that Dani’s father was Guillermo Arias, and that anything with her would get us both killed.

I’d been out here chopping wood for a good thirty minutes, sweating out all my pent up sexual frustration and anger at this whole situation, trying to let go of
things I couldn’t control with the club.  What I wanted to do was ditch this whole thing - ditch Dani - and go back to the club.  It was killing me not to be in the thick of things.  I’d called Mad Dog but got nothing.  They were working on it. 

The ache in my
arms and my back jolted me to the present.  It was a good ache, the kind that said I’d had a productive day.

I gulped down a glass of water at the sink, the sweat pouring off my face and running down to my chest as I soaked in the cool liquid.  A cold shower would be good.  It was quiet in the house, which meant I finally had the place
to myself.  I must not have seen Dani run down to the lake.  The thought of having a little space, being away from the tension between us, made me happy, and I whistled to myself as I headed back to the back bedroom to hop in the shower.

I opened the door and Dani shrieked.  “What the hell are you doing?”  She wa
s standing there buck naked, hair dripping down her shoulders, little rivers of water running down her breasts to her nipples, down her stomach to her...I had to force myself to turn away.

“Sorry!”  I wasn’t sorry. 
Shit, no.
  Seeing her naked like that brought back the memory of her in bed and all I could think about was how it would feel to be inside her, to taste her. 
Damn it. 
I could feel myself start to get hard, and I tried to focus on something else, anything else to take my mind off her.

Dani pinched her towel closed around her breasts, but it didn’t help.  Her naked body was etched in my brain.

“What are you doing, coming in here like that?”

“I thought you were down by the lake.  I was just
going to use the shower.  Didn’t you hear me come into the house?” 
Stop thinking about her naked.

“No, I was in the shower.”

“I mean, I
have
already seen you naked.  I’m just saying.”  I gave her my best sheepish grin.

Dani glared
at me.  “Go.  It’s all yours.”

I lingered, and she swatted at me.  “Get out!  And do
n’t even think about peeping.”

I was pretty sure I was grinning from ear to ear as I walked into the bathroom.

And now, here I was, sitting at the creek, teaching her to fish.  I didn't know what the hell was getting in to me, but I was starting to feel content here with her.  That was a problem.

“So what’s the deal with a
ll the books in your house?” Dani asked.  “Are you a biker philosopher, or what?”  I smiled.  Her brash attitude was growing on me.

“One of my foster mothers pushed me to start reading stuff
- philosophy, history, things like that.”

“How old were you when you went into foster care?”

“Twelve.  Mom was a junkie, and after my grandma died and couldn’t help out, things got real bad with her for a while.” 
Real bad
was an understatement, of course.  But by ten years old, at least I was an expert at fending for myself.

“I’m sorry.”  She was quiet, focusing on her line in the water even though nothing was biting.

“Not your fault,” I said.  “It was bad with my mom, but foster care was worse for a few years.  Creepy ass foster parents, you know?  Then I got placed with Althea.  She was this older woman.  She had thirty-something foster kids before I came along.”

I don’t know why, but I just kept telling her about myself.  “I
got sent to her when I was fifteen.  I was running with a bad crowd, trying to get jumped by this gang.”  I shrugged.  “I was trying to get away from my life, you know?”

Dani nodded, murmured something I didn't quite hear.

“Anyway, she never lost hope, even when I went to juvie.”  I laughed.  “Juvie is where I got the Blaze nickname.”

“What for?”

“I did some arsons.  It’s what got me sent there.  It just stuck after that.  Then I got out, got hooked up with the MC.  Never looked back.”

“What about Althea?” she asked, and I
remembered my first day at Althea's house, when I discovered her library.

"Oh, you like history, do you?"

I slammed the book shut, weirdly ashamed of being caught reading.  It didn't seem like something a wannabe thug would be doing.  "I was just looking."

"Anything you find interesting in here is yours," Althea said.  No one had ever offered me anything b
efore.  Everyone else had been all about taking from me, taking anything I had.  It made me deeply uncomfortable that she was offering me something without asking for anything in return.

I watched as she walked to a shelf across the room, traced her finger along it as she looked for a book.  "You know," she said.  "My children have used this library for years.  It's yours now.  You're welcome in here anytime.  My eyes are getting old now- it's too hard for me to see the print on these books."  She peered close, examining the spines on the shelf.  "Ah, there it is," she said, handing the volume to me.

"The Art of War," I said slowly, turning it over in my hands.

"Sun Tzu," she said.  "He was a Chinese military general, oh, ages ago.  I think you might find this useful in your present situation."

I took it, skeptical.  What did this old woman know about my present situation?

I shook off the memory. 
“She died last year,” I said.  “But she gave me stuff to read, told me I could make something of myself.  Even after I’d joined the MC, I’d go to her house, sit at her kitchen table and drink tea from white china.”  I laughed, remembering how ridiculous I looked, wearing my leather cut and sipping from a delicate teacup.  “We’d talk about Greek and Roman history, Buddhism, anything under the sun.  When I got patched, she said it was ironic, the name of the club.  Handed me a copy of Dante’s
Inferno.
  I still go out to her grave sometimes with a book, read to her, ask her questions about life.  It’s stupid, talking to her and stuff.”

“No,” Dani said.  “I talk to my mom a lot about things, wonder what she would tell me to do.”  She looked out at the creek, her expression wistful.  “Sometimes I think she’d hate who I
've become.”

“I get that,” I said.  “Althea never said it, but I think she disapproved of the club.  She had higher expectations for me.  One time I asked her why she kept giving me stuff to read, and she said ‘knowledge elevates you, no matter wh
o you are.’  I’m pretty sure she wanted me to get out.”

“Do you want to get out of the MC?”

“I couldn’t,” I said.  “It’s my home.  I don’t mind the muling, that kind of thing.  There’s just certain things that go too far, you know?  Smuggling stuff is one thing; people are another ballgame.  That I want no part of.”

Dani nodded, and then a look of surprise crossed her face.  “Hey!  My line’s moving!  Did I catch something?”

“I think you might have.”

“Holy shit!”  She squealed, jumping up and down.  “I’ve never caught a fish before!”

“Well, don’t drop it!” I put my arms around her, hands on hers, trying not to think about how good it felt to hold her.  “Here’s how you reel it in.  We can cook this guy up for dinner.”