Taming Blaze (13 page)

Taking a pull on a beer, I watched Dani from the other side of the room
.  She sat reading and sipping on her wine, dark hair falling over her forehead, shielding her eyes, long legs tucked up underneath her.  God, she really was beautiful.  She looked up at me, eyes hooded, and I felt guilty, like a kid with his hand stuck in the cookie jar.

“I can see why you like it up here,” she said.  The hostility that had colored our earlier conversations was gone.  “It’s easy to forget about all the other stuff that’s happening.  It’s like a little vacation.  Even if I am stuck with you.”  She smiled.

“If your idea of a vacation is hiding out in a dirty biker’s cabin because you might get killed, you have a pretty fucked up idea of what a vacation is.”

Dani laughed.  It was good hearing her laugh
.  The sound warmed the house.  “Well, a lot of my ideas are fucked up, so I don’t know why my idea of a vacation would be any different.”

I shrugged.  “You turned out pretty normal for Guillermo Arias’ daughter.
  I mean, going to Stanford and shit.”

“Normal,” she said.  “Well, at least that’s normal.  My chil
dhood wasn’t, that’s for sure.”

“No, I would guess it wasn’t.”

She smiled wistfully.  “You know how I learned math?  When I was in kindergarten, my father would give me stacks of bills to count.  He’d smoke his cigar, and put them into piles of  hundred dollar bills.  Typical kids’ stuff.”

“That’s what happens when your dad is who he is, right?”

Dani giggled, putting her hand to her mouth, and I thought about kissing her, right then and there.  “I feel so bad for the kids I went to school with.  There was this one time- I think I was six or something?  This girl- what the hell was her name?  Carla, I think.  She was bullying me a little bit.  We got into a fight on the playground, and my parents got called in.”

“Oh no,” I said.  I could imagine where this was goin
g now that I’d met her father.

She laughed. “Yes, can you picture my dad showing up to the principal’s office?  They suspended both of us, even though the other girl had started it.  But the problem was- her parents had
no idea who my father was.”

“Oh,
shit,” I said.

“So she wouldn’t apologize, and I think her mother was almost proud of her or something.  She just stood there.  Anyway, my father didn’t say anything at all, not a word. 
But someone paid them a visit, and then a few weeks later, I’d heard they’d changed schools.  I think her family actually moved.”  Dani laughed.  “I mean, it’s funny in a warped way, because it’s so terrible, you know?”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine him b
eing asked to sit on the PTA.”

“No, and I wanted him as far away from me and Stanford as possible.  I figured I needed some distance between us.
"  She paused, more serious now.  "Otherwise I’d wind up dead, like my mother.”

“She died because of someone who wanted to get at your father.” Guillermo had said the threat against him was connected to
his wife’s murder.

“Th
at’s the official party line.”

“You don’t believe it.”

“It’s -” She paused, then a dark look crossed her face and she shook her head.  “No, never mind.”

“N
o, what were you going to say?”

“I shouldn’t.  The wine is just going to my head, making me think things I shouldn’t think
, say things I shouldn’t say.”

Maybe she wasn’t under her father’s thumb as muc
h as I had assumed.  “Say it.”

“You’re working for him.”

“So?  That doesn’t mean anything.”

“I don’t know who to trust any
more,” she said.

“Yes
, you do.  You’re not stupid.”

She laughed, bitterly th
is time.  “No, just reckless.”

I shrugged.  “You’ve gotten this f
ar.  You’re not that reckless.”

“No.  I guess not,
” she said.  “My father -  I don’t know, not for sure.  It’s probably nothing.  Last year, I hired a private investigator to look into her death.  My father always said it was a business rival who killed her, but he wouldn’t tell me anything more than that.  He just said it was taken care of.  I wanted answers.”

“
Did you get any?”

“Of course not,” she said.  “I thought I could get away with hiring the guy, thought I was being smart paying with cash.  But of course my father found out.”  She looked down, playing with her fingers.  “He didn’t say anything to me about it.  I just got a call from the PI saying he could no longer investigate.”

“It might not mean anything.”  It might not.  Or it might mean something.

“No,” Dani said.  “I don’t know what the fuck it means.  My father doesn’t want me looking into my mother’s murder, and he controls everything.  What you said before, about all this shit?  The clothes, the car, the house?  It’s all bullshit.  You think I want to be trapped like this?  At least you’re free.”

“I’m not as free as you think I am.”  I wanted to stop her, tell her we had more in common than she thought we did.  We were both trapped in our own ways.  I loved the club.  It was the only place I’d ever belonged, the only group of people who had ever felt like a family.  But Mad Dog?  He was the president, and as much as I respected the position he held, the more I knew about him, the less sure I was.  He had a cruel streak that I didn’t like, that reminded me of those kids growing up, the ones in juvie you had to look out for.  Mad Dog was a good businessman and a better politician- he kept that streak hidden most of the time, but it did give me pause.  It was the same thing I’d seen in Guillermo.  Fucked up people just seemed to have a sense for other fucked up people.

Dani studied me thoughtfully.  “No, I guess not.  Do you think people like us are ever free?”

“You mean freedom, like work a regular job, with the white picket fence and two kids?”

She
laughed, choking on a sip of wine.  “No, I don’t mean that.  I don’t think I really believe in all that shit.  No, I just- sometimes I want to be rid of all this, that’s all.  Run off somewhere, hang out in a hammock on the beach.  Cut ties with anyone from my life.  Sometimes I just want to disappear.”

“This p
lace is my way of doing that.”

“We’re a lot more alike than I
thought, you and I,” she said.

I watched Blaze from the window
as he chopped wood outside.  I felt like some kind of voyeur, hiding inside, looking at him.  He was shirtless, covered in a sheen of sweat, his muscles rippling as he brought the axe over his shoulder and down to the wood.  I felt flushed just watching him, thinking of the night at the hotel.  After all this time being cooped up here with him, nights laying in bed with him just on the other side of the door, I couldn’t stand it.  I needed to get him out of my head.  I needed to get rid of the memory of the way he had touched me, erase the way my body ached for him.  My body was betraying me, making me want this man who was no good for me.  He was working for my father.  Even if it was the first time he was working for him, he was still tied to him and to his club.  I couldn’t get involved with him.

I watched Blaze bring the axe up again, the muscles in his forearms and biceps rippling as he moved.  Heat flowed through my abdomen, and
I cursed my body.

He’s no good for you. 
Maybe not, but he is so sexy. 

A cold
shower.  That’s what I needed.

As
I stood in the shower, water pouring over me, my heart rate returned to normal, the way it was before seeing Blaze out there sweaty and shirtless.  I was so pissed off at Blaze that first night, angry at him for suggesting I’d turned a blind eye to what my father was doing so I could keep collecting a paycheck.  As if I didn’t care at all.  Blaze had no idea.  I’d tried to get away after my mother’s murder, tried to find out things about my father, things I wasn’t supposed to know.  I wanted to scream at Blaze, tell him how many times I’d thought about running away.  I’d stashed away money, cash for the PI, but my father had found out.  Then the money had just disappeared and the account was closed.  We went back to acting like everything was normal, and I got not so subtle message to stop asking questions.

That’s what Blaze didn’t understand.  I’d always be tied to my father, no matter what happened.  We all have our crosses
to bear, and that was mine.  I had anything I wanted, but I would never really be free.  Being here with Blaze was the closest I’d ever felt to free, which was ironic since I was basically trapped here with him.  Intellectually, I knew I needed to keep my guard up around him since I couldn’t trust that he was anything more than one of my dad’s lackeys.  As much as I tried, it was getting harder to maintain that wariness.

There was just something about being here, away from everything, that made me feel safe
.  It was peaceful here.  But I didn’t know how much longer I could trust myself to be here, laying in bed at night, knowing that Blaze was just on the other side of the door.

I pulled a pair of panties from the bureau drawer, still so lost in thought I never even hear
d the bedroom door open.  I turned to see Blaze standing there, and my heart stopped.  “What the hell are you doing?”  I grabbed for my bath towel.

There he stood, shirtless and sweaty from exertion.  For a moment, I thought about dropping the towel and pressing my naked body up against him, leading him to the bed, and riding him hard until he came.  I had to will myself not to move. 
Don’t do it.  You don’t want to do it.

“Oh my God.  Sorry.”  But he didn’t seem that sorry
.  He stood there staring at me.

I pinched the towel around my breasts, holding it closed tightly so I wouldn’t drop it.  But I wasn’t worried about him seeing me naked.  I was more worried that if I dropped it, there would be
no barrier between us, nothing to keep me from throwing myself at him.  “What are you doing, barging in here like that?”  I tried to sound indignant, tried hard to mask my arousal.

“I thought you were down by the lake.  I was just coming in to use the shower.  Didn’t you hear me come in the house?”

“No, I was in the shower.”  I was careful not to say what I wanted to say, which was that I had to take a shower because I had gotten so turned on by watching him.

“I mean, I’ve already seen you naked.  I’m just saying.”  Blaze grinned at me, and I felt my stomach somersault.  This man was going to
be the end of me.

“Go.  It’s all yours.”  I couldn’t
help but smile, and he apparently took that as an invitation to linger.  I needed to get him to leave before it was too late, so I swatted at him.  “Get out!  And don’t even think about peeping.”

Not that I would mind,
I thought.

“I’m not as free as you think I am,” he said.
The way he said it, regretfully, made me think he meant it, not that it was some bullshit he was saying to get in my pants.  I had the sense again that we might be kindred spirits after all.  It was the same feeling I’d had when we were fishing earlier today, hearing him talk about his childhood and about how he’d lost his foster mother.

“No, I guess not.  Do you think people like us are ever free?”  The wine was going to my head, making me wish fo
r things I shouldn’t wish.

“You mean freedom, like work a regular job,
with the white picket fence and two kids?” Blaze asked.

I laughed, choking on my wine.  Even when I was a kid, I knew that life would never be mine.  “No, I don’t mean that.  I don’t think I really believe in all that shit.  No, I just
- sometimes I want to be rid of all this, that’s all.  Run off somewhere, hang out in a hammock on the beach.  No ties to anyone from my life.  Sometimes I just want to disappear.”

“This place is my way of doing that,” he said.

“We’re a lot more alike than I thought, you and I,” I said.  I was starting to believe that, and that surprised me.  Maybe there was an optimist inside me after all.

Blaze didn’t say anything then, but I felt something start to shift between us. 
I was beginning to feel something more than just at ease with him, sitting here in this cabin he had built with his own two hands, in front of the fireplace that helped take the edge off the evening coolness.  I felt content.

“It feels nice, here, you know?”  It sounded lame, too underwhelming for how I actually felt.  I was realizing I didn’t want this protection detail to end.  I wanted to stay here in a little cocoon with him.

“It’s not how I thought it would be, up here with you,” he said, smirking.

“Oh yeah?  How did you think it was going to be?”

“Well, I thought we might end up killing each other.”  Blaze paused, a sly smile crossing his face.  “Or we’d end up fucking each other’s brains out.”

“And now, what do you think?”  My words practically dripped with the suggestion of more.  Arousal coursed through me,
hearing him talk about fucking my brains out.

His eyes were trained on mine, burning into me.  I wanted t
o hear Blaze say he wanted me.

“I can’t stop thinking about what I want to do to you,” he said.

“Oh?”  I asked casually, but what I really wanted to do was rip off his clothes right then and there.  We were only a couple of feet apart, sitting across from each other.  But the distance between us felt immeasurably far.

“Your father would kill us,” Blaze said. 
My father.
It always came back to my father.  He was everywhere, like some ghost that constantly haunted me.

“He would kill you if he found out,” I agreed.
  “He would destroy your club.”

Blaze never took his eyes off me.  “It’s what I keep going over in my head.  Your father is dangerous.  Touching you is dangerous.”

“It is.” 
It’s a bad idea,
I thought.  A very bad idea. 
You can stop this now, before it starts.
 
I willed myself to stand.  I could walk back to the bedroom; shut the door behind me; and close him off.  If I did that, I could save him, and avoid the destruction I’d inevitably bring to him and his club.  It's what I needed to do.  It's what I would do. 

I made it two steps across the living room before he grabbed
me and pulled me against him.

“Being with you is going to be trouble,” Blaze said, his eyes locked on mine, the heat of his grip on my arm.  My heart was racing, threate
ning to beat through my chest.

“It is,” I whispered.  “You should let me go.”  I could go.
  I could walk away right now.  I could end this, before it went any further.  Before either of us got hurt.

“Do you want me to let you go?”  I felt this magnetic pull to him, like I could not
possibly turn away if I tried.

“No,” I said, my traitorous voice barely croaking out the word before his mouth was o
n mine, his need apparent as he pressed his hardness against me.  I moaned, melting into him, and he gripped the back of my head, as if he were afraid I would disappear if he didn't hang on to me tightly.

I ran my hands over him, over his
hard chest, his shoulders, his arms.  Every inch I moved along his body reminded me of the last time I touched him, back in the hotel.  He groaned, this deep sound that seemed to rise from the depths of him, and then we were pulling off clothes, throwing them on the floor.  Everything faded away as he kissed me, kissed my face, my neck, the places where Billy had put his hands, the bruises faded now.

I didn’t care what might happen if my father found out about Blaze and I.  I didn’t care who Blaze was,
or what he did.  Everything was lost in him.  Everything was lost in us.

Blaze’s hand
was on me, guiding me to the soft carpet in front of the fireplace.  The heat from the fire radiated onto my skin.  Or maybe it was Blaze’s heat.  I couldn’t tell anymore.  Desire clouded my perception, confusing me, dizzying me.  His lips were on my neck, my shoulders, my collarbone.  I threw my head back, reveling in the feeling of his mouth on my skin.  Then his mouth was on my breast, tongue swirling my nipple until it was hard, and I felt a gush of wetness between my legs.  I needed him.  My body craved him.

“Blaze,” I moaned.

His hand roamed over my body, but it was too tender, too gently.  I wanted him hard, rough.  My palms against his chest, I pushed him back on the carpet.

"Dani! What
are you - " His eyes were wide.

"Shhh," I said, swinging a leg over him.  I looked down at his dick below me, his
erection begging for my attention.  I salivated at the thought of taking him in my mouth, but that would have to wait.  Right now, I wanted him to fill me up.  I lowered myself to him and he groaned. Then he put his hands on my waist, stopping me from going further.