Teenage Love Affair (23 page)

“Malachi, don't be accusing me of things, okay? You're the one who said you weren't coming back for two days.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“So you're the one who lied to me?”

“Are you trying to start an argument with me?” Malachi frowned. “What, you want me to leave? That's not a problem.” He grabbed his car keys.

“Malachi, I don't want you to leave,” I said in a panic.

“Then what is the problem? Why are you acting like this?”

“That's it, Zsa.” My mother stormed out of her room. “I'm calling Brenda, because I just remembered Courtney is sixteen. He doesn't have a driver's license.”

“Ma, wait.”

“What is she waiting for, Zsa?” Malachi pressed as someone pounded on the front door.

Thank you, Jesus
.

I turned to them and smiled. “There's Courtney right there. Now can you two go in the other room? I don't want to embarrass him, because I'm about to read him.”

“Well, we'll be reading him together.” My mother walked over to the door, and I tried to block her path. “What the hell?” she said. “If you don't move out of my way.” She opened the door, and instead of Ameen standing there, there were two police officers at my door with the blaring red lights from their cruisers behind them.

I swear I was about to faint. “Yes, officers?” my mother said, “may I help you?”

“We're looking for,” one of the officers said, “a Zsa-Zsa Fields.”

“For what?” my mother said defensively.

“Is she here, ma'am?” the officer asked.

“She's right here.” My mother pointed at me. “This is my daughter. Now, what is the problem?”

“Well, ma'am, we need her to come down to the station and answer some questions—”

“Questions about what?!” my mother snapped.

“We're trying to tell you, ma'am. We have a suspect in custody by the name of Ameen Jones. He crashed the car on the side of the highway and attempted to run. Don't worry, we caught him. But we also found drugs in the car, which he's saying weren't his, but were instead in the car when he borrowed it.”

“I don't believe this,” my mother said, pissed.

“I didn't have any drugs. He's lying!” I shouted.

“Well,” the officer said, “that's why we need you to come to the station and give us a statement.”

“Let me grab my purse,” my mother said. “We will be right behind you, officers.”

“Thank you, ma'am.” The officers walked back to their car.

I turned around and looked at Malachi, who was grabbing his jacket and keys. I looked in his eyes and could tell he was hurt, which is why I couldn't let him leave. I had to explain or at least try to explain what happened. “Malachi.” I grabbed his hand and he snatched it back. “It wasn't like that.”

“You been playing me this whole time?”

“No.” Tears filled my eyes and raced down my cheeks. “How could you say something like that? Ameen called me and claimed he had a job interview. He said he wanted to change his life.”

“Zsa, you look so stupid to me right now. I swear to God, I wish I had never got with you. You were a better memory than anything else. I'm done. It's over.” And he stormed out the door. My heart was in pieces and I was screaming at the top of my lungs, “Malachi! Don't leave!” But within a matter of seconds he was gone.

“Oh, no, you don't.” My mother stormed into the living room. “Dry your eyes. You're grown, remember?” She called Hadiah, who had been sleeping in her room. “I want you to go next door and sit with Ms. Lucinda until Cousin Shake and Ms. Minnie get back.”

“Okay, Ma.”

After Hadiah left, my mother looked at me and said, “Let's go.”

I felt completely out of my mind by the time we got to the police station. I didn't know whether I was coming or going, whether this was a dream or a strange part of my reality. All I knew is that my heart felt like a brick and my head was spinning. I gave the officers a statement and they informed me that my car was totaled in the accident. I swear, it was like at the police station, I knew physically I was there, but mentally I was a million different places. I needed to speak to Malachi and I needed to fix this. I needed the last five minutes we'd spent together back because if I didn't get this right, I had no idea what my life would be like.

I cried on the entire ride home. My mother was saying something to me. Something that sounded like a lecture but I don't know what it was, and I didn't care either, all I cared about was getting Malachi back.

By the time we arrived home, I flew into my room and dialed Malachi's number. He didn't answer, so I called him back and he still didn't pick up. I must've called him a hundred times and still nothing. I didn't care. I wasn't giving up so I called him again.

“What?” he said, answering.

“Malachi, it's not what you think.”

“It's not what I think, you're right, Zsa, it's not. I thought you loved me, you don't. I thought you were faithful to me, you're not.”

“I do love you and I never cheated on you. You have to believe me.”

“You're a liar and we're done. It's over. It's always some rah-rah with you. Nothing is ever peaceful, so I tell you what, lose yourself, 'cause I'm done and that's for real.” He hung up on me.

I tried calling him back at least a hundred times but he didn't answer. “Zsa.” My mother called my name and entered my room at the same time.

“Not now, Ma,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “I need to talk to Malachi.”

“You don't tell me not now. Because it's right now!”

“I need to talk to Malachi!” I screamed.

“No, you need to talk to me. You have completely lost your mind. Here Ameen beat you, abused you, used you, and you're still messing with him?”

“I'm not messing with him!”

“Well, it sure looks like it. When are you going to say enough is enough? Huh? I knew I should've made you press charges on him.”

“For what? You never followed through on any of the charges you pressed,” I snapped. “Don't be trying to act like mother of the year now because you in counseling and now all of a sudden you wanna buck.”

My mother walked up so close to me that I swear her breath was making my eyelashes blink. “If I didn't know that violence solved nothing, I would slap you! I don't know who you think you're talking to but I know who you're not talking to and that's me. I made some mistakes, yes, but I am your mother, not the other way around. You will not disrespect me and you will not stand in my face as if we are equals. You have a problem and it will be addressed. You are going to counseling. I don't care if you think it's for crazy folks, but you are going. Now try me if you think I'm playing. I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not interested in a compromise, and no, there's nothing you can say to make me change my mind. You so worried about Malachi, you need to be worried about yourself and your state of mind, because the way you're going, in a few years you are going to be a raggedy mess and I'm not having it.”

“I'm not going to counseling!”

“Oh, no, then you got to leave.” My mother took a step back. “Get your things and go. You so damn grown. You know all the answers.” She grabbed my suitcases out of my closet and slammed them on my bed. “Then get out of here! Because I run this spot and what I say goes. Now if you don't like it, then deuces,” she said mockingly, “because I ain't the one.”

I couldn't believe this. My mother had warped into someone else, someone I was scared of. I felt like if I said anything I was about to catch a beat down. For a moment I was less worried about my breakup with Malachi and more worried about life with my mother. “You would put me out in the street?”

“You are my child,” my mother said, wiping the tears that had formed in her eyes, “but I will not watch you be reduced to nothing. Now, I love you and this is your home, but if we don't go and work out the issues that we have here, then yes, you will have to go. Now you think about that.” And she left.

I felt like a bomb had gone off and the only thing I could do about it was cry myself into oblivion.

M
y life was hell. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and I didn't know whether I was coming or going. All I could do was think and cry. Cry and think. How did I end up here? How did my life wither into such a nightmare, where I finally realized what true love was, had the right man, the one I wanted for a lifetime, and in one split second of a bad decision he was gone and I had nothing.

I'd called Malachi a thousand times and he hadn't answered any of my calls or returned the kazillion messages I'd left him.
I feel like…like…like…I'm going crazy. Better yet, like I am crazy.

I mean, I'd been hurt before and I'd cried a million times but this time I felt like somebody opened my heart, split it down the middle, and pissed inside.

I'd been up all night and although my eyes felt like weights there was no way I was staying home today. I got out of bed, showered, quietly dressed, picked up my car keys, and headed out the door. Once I was in my driveway it clicked. I no longer had a car, which meant one thing: I had to catch the bus. Jesus.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Courtney.

“I gotta take a who?” Courtney said, as if he were in shock.

“A bus. It's a long story but I don't have my car anymore.”

“Well, you need to go and get it, Diva, 'cause I can't catch no bus. I don't even own a pair of sneakers.”

“Well, Prince, I don't know what to tell you.” And I hung up. I really couldn't be aggravated with Courtney today. I walked to the bus stop on the corner and hopped on the bus. It was mad crowded with kids going to school and people going to work.

The bus pulled up to the stop by Courtney's house and he staggered on, looking a hot mess. His purple boa was wrapped around his neck like a cyclone, he had rollers in the back of his hair, and the three-inch boots he wore looked to be leaning to the side, as his book bag fell down his arm. “Driver,” Courtney said, “I'm so upset. How much is this thing?”

“Two dollars and seventy-five cents,” the bus driver said.

“Oh, no!” Courtney wiped his brow as if he were due to faint. “Y'all robbing people.”

“Young man,” the driver said, “are you going to pay? Otherwise step off the bus, please.”

“God bless you too,” Courtney said, pulling out a hand full of change from his pocket. “No need to be nasty.” After paying his fare Courtney walked to the back of the bus, and I called his name. He flopped down next to me and said, “I'm not speaking to you. You know that, right.”

“No,” I said, “I couldn't tell.”

“Well, I'm not. And why are we on this bus? What happened to your car? We need it. That's it, I'm riding with Asha and Samaad tomorrow.”

Suddenly and without warning I broke down and a river of tears fell from my eyes. “Zsa,” Courtney said, looking around at the people who were staring at me and giving them a fake smile. “I know your dog died,” was his attempt to play if off, “but it's okay.”

“My dog didn't die,” I said, “Malachi left me.”

“Oh, Lawd!” Courtney shouted, and pretended to pass out on the seat. “No, Jesus. Not Malachi. No, not Malachi.”

I looked at Courtney as he carried on like a church lady at her pastor's funeral. “Help me,” he sniffed. “Don't take Malachi, Father. Not Malachi.”

I wanted to punch Courtney dead in the face. “Shut up,” I growled as we pulled up to the stop in front of the school. “You sound stupid.”

“Don't be getting mad with me,” he sniffed. “You the one messed our life up.”

I ignored him, because I absolutely couldn't do it. At least not today. Tomorrow maybe I could entertain Courtney, but not today.

Once we arrived at school I didn't go in right away because I was hoping to catch Malachi before he went inside. Maybe if I spoke with him early it would give him time to think about us fixing our relationship.

I stood by the side entrance, and just when I was about to give up, I spotted Malachi pulling up in his truck. Although I knew what my plan was supposed to be, I had a million conflicting thoughts running through my mind, most of them telling me to keep it moving. But I couldn't. I had to say something, anything that would make this right.

I walked over to Malachi once he got out of his truck, and he looked at me blankly. “Can I speak with you for a moment?” I asked him. “Please.”

“Hurry up.” He frowned. “I don't have that much time.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I heard that already,” he snapped. “I thought you were going to say something new.”

Was that a blade he just put to my jugular or were those simply words? I swear my mouth filled with blood and I didn't know what to say, but I was determined to think of something. “I know what I did was wrong.” I paused. “And I really am sorry, but I never cheated on you. Ever. I love you and I want us to work this out. I just feel like if we had one more chance to do this again, I wouldn't mess up. So I am asking that you forgive me, please.”

I stopped talking and Malachi stared at me. “That's it?” he said. “Are you done?”

“Yeah.”

“Ai'ight.” He stepped to the side and walked around me. “I'm out.”