Ten Year Crush (9 page)

“FUCK!” I shudder and release into the condom.
Goddammit!

My stomach lurches. I can’t do this anymore. What good does it do to fuck Gabby out of my mind when I never come, and then her face pops into my mind and I blow like a teen?
I gotta get out of here.

Moving Sara off my lap and into the driver seat, I grab napkins out of the console. She’s already seen too much tonight. I don’t need her seeing my internal freak out. Get cleaned up, get her the hell out of here and back to work, and then I need to figure out how the hell to get home. I wrap the condom in a napkin and clean up a little before tucking myself back in my pants.

I look over and see that Sara has herself put back together as well. Climbing out, I head to the driver side and open the door letting her out. “Thanks.”

“Anytime, handsome.”

I swallow the bile rising up my throat and climb back in my truck. Closing myself in, laying my head on my steering wheel. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I need a shower and my bed. Digging my phone out, I call Josh, hoping he’ll come pick me up. I’ve been drinking since seven, no driving tonight.

“Yeah?” Josh’s clipped voice comes through the phone.

“Can you come pick me up? I need a ride home.” I run my hands through my hair.

“What the fuck, Cam? We just talked about this! You can’t keep getting shitty fucking drunk and fucking everything that spreads their damn legs! I’m sick of this shit!”

“What the fuck does it matter?” I yell into the phone. I’m sick of the daddy-fucking act Josh has been pulling and with the night I just had, I’m not dealing with this bullshit tonight.

“Because I know you’re trying to drink and fuck my sister out of your head. You did this, Cam. YOU! Grow the fuck up.” The phone beeps off, asshole hung up on me.

Well, I guess he won’t be coming to get me. Sighing, I pull up the number for a taxi service to take my drunk ass home.

Chapter Eight

*Gabby*

Rushing into the bathroom and into a stall, I flop down on the toilet and bury my head in my hands, letting out a sob. Why do I continue to let him get to me?
Oh no, Brandon. I just cheated on my boyfriend!
Guilt consumes my whole body. What am I going to tell him? I just won’t tell him. If it doesn’t happen again I’ll be fine.

I wipe my face and run my fingers over my lips. I’ve never felt that way from just a kiss; the electricity that was buzzing through my body was so foreign, but felt so right at the same time.
No, not right, wrong. Very, very wrong. You’re with Brandon, remember? Your BOYFRIEND!

Shaking all thoughts of Cam out, I use the restroom and head out to get myself pulled back together. Once all evidence of my tears are cleaned away, I leave the bathroom, on my search to find Brandon, and get out of here.

Coming out, I see Brandon heading towards our table. I hurry and catch up to him. “Hey, there you are.” I slip my arm through his. “I’m tired and not really feeling the best, so I’m going to head home. Are you ready to go or do you want to hang out longer?”

Brandon pulls me into his arms and pecks me on the lips. “No, I’ll take you home. Are you okay?” He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“I’m fine. I think it’s just from being tired. I’m sure after a night’s rest I’ll be fine.” He must have been drinking a lot more than I thought. His pupils are pin drops and his eyes are glassy.

“Alright, let’s get you home.” He wraps his arm around my waist and leads me out the door, into the cool, early October night air.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” I’ll find another way home if he’s drunk or even buzzed.

“Yeah, I only had two beers.”

“Why are your eyes funny-looking then?”

“I’m just worn out, babe. I promise, I’m fine to drive us.” He opens my door and helps me in.

Once in the car, I turn in my seat to face Brandon. I still want to know what was going on with him tonight and why he kept disappearing on me. “Where did you keep going tonight? I felt like you were gone more than you were with me.”

“The beer was running through me and I’d have to piss, then I’d run into someone I knew and get held up. I’m sorry.” He grabs my hand and squeezes it reassuringly.

We fall into an uncomfortable silence. I feel like he’s hiding something from me, but the guilt of the kiss with Cam keeps my mouth closed. What if he’s cheating on me? Does he have another girlfriend or are there
girls
? I hate that he’s keeping something from me, but I’m doing the same. Maybe if I just forget about tonight completely everything will go back to the way it was.

Not long after leaving the bar, we’re pulling up in front of my house. I climb out, not waiting for Brandon, and make my way to the front door. After unlocking the door, I go to step inside when Brandon's hand on my arm stops me.

“Gabby, I’m going to head on home. You and I can get some rest.” He smiles big showing his teeth, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

A stab of disappointment hits me in the chest. I need Brandon. I need him to try to take the images of Cam from my mind, the feel of him pressed up against me
—
Enough!
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you Sunday? I work tomorrow.” I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I should be free, but I’ll let you know something tomorrow.” He kisses my lips. “Night, babe. Talk to you later.” He turns and heads for his car.

What the hell?
Why is he in such a rush to leave?

“Night,” I whisper to myself.

I move quietly through the house, knowing that Tiff is already asleep. She had to work today after class, so I know she’s worn out. Plus, I’m not sure how I feel about everything that happened tonight and really don’t want to relive what happened on the dance floor. I need time before I talk to her and get her input and thoughts on the situation.

Once in my room I strip out of my clothes, leaving on my panties and slip on a comfy t-shirt. Climbing in my bed, I curl up on my side and hug a pillow to my chest.

My thoughts go back to Cam. I thought I was doing so good, moving on. I stopped thinking about him constantly and the hurt started to ease. It helped that I hadn’t seen much of him since I started seeing Brandon. Brandon helps a lot too, being with him I don’t have much time to think.

Why did Cam have to kiss me? All of the years spent wanting him to kiss me, and when I’ve finally moved on and I’m trying to get him out of my heart and mind, he comes pushing his way back in.

Even back when I first met Cam, he affected me as if no one ever has. Is he always going to have this hold on me? Am I ever going to be able to break the chains he has wrapped around my heart?

I wish Brandon were here to hold me and make me forget. Take the memory of Cam’s lips and hands on me. A tear falls down my cheek. Wiping it away, I bury my head in my pillow and scream.

“FUCKING, CAMRON TAYLOR!”

Chapter Nine

*Cam*

I wake up with a pounding headache and the previous night comes flooding back.
Oh, shit
! I kissed Gabby, and then she brought up the douchebag, so I went and found a willing girl.
Sara.
She’s been on me for weeks, since I first went into the bar, and I’ve avoided all her advances,
until last night.
Sighing, I scrub my face with my hands.

Maybe Josh is right. I need to grow the fuck up. This shit isn’t working. I’m miserable. Gabby isn’t in my life at all now. If I truly love her, then why can’t I make a relationship work? I need to get my shit together and get my girl. That’s what Gabby is and always will be,
MY GIRL
! I was just too fucking stupid and scared to do anything about it. I know that asshole she calls ‘boyfriend’ is up to something. I just hope he doesn’t hurt her too bad. He’ll show his true colors, and then I’ll swoop in and save the day. Nobody will love and treat her the way that I can. Why didn’t I see it sooner?

Climbing out of bed, I head to the shower, hitting play on my iPod. Love and Theft’s “Thinking of You” comes on.

“You all got that right.” Although, I know what it’s like to kiss Gabby, and its fuckin’ amazing.

After taking a shower and dressing, I head into the kitchen to find something to eat and soak up the half bottle of Jack I drank last night. Josh is sitting at the island eating a sandwich.

“Cam, we need to talk.”

I don’t say anything in response. I just continue pulling out everything to make a sandwich too.

“I’m sick of you going out, getting trashed, and then either calling me to come get you or you bringing back a different girl each night to fuck. This shit is going to blow up in your face. I know why you’re doing it and it’s stupid. You chose to close the door on that.”

“I know. Some stuff happened last night and it made me realize that I need to get my shit together. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass the past month, and I’m ending the stupid shit. But listen, Gabby and Brandon were at the bar last night and something is up.”

Before I can finish Josh jumps up, knocking the stool he was sitting on over. “What kind of shit?”

“Damn, dude. Calm down for a minute.” I hold my hands up and mumble, “Brandon’s one dumb fucker.”

“What the fuck did you say?” He’s balling his fist and a vain is pulsing in his neck.

“Sit, calm the fuck down, and listen. I think he’s cheating on her or doing some shit behind her back. He kept taking off and leaving her last night. Not too sure what was going on, but I spent more time with her than he did. I even kissed her before
—
”

Josh comes flying across the island and knocks me right in the jaw with a right hook. I stumble backwards, the counter catching my ass, keeping me from kissing the floor. “You fucking kissed my sister? What did I tell you, Cam? You had your chance!” His face is red with anger, eye twitching.

“What the fuck, Josh? Really, you’re going to punch me over kissing your sister?” I say, wiping the blood off my split lip.

“She’s in a relationship, even if he’s a fucking prick. You do not have that right, Cam. You gave it up. I told you this shit would happen.” He’s in my face, jabbing his finger in my chest. “I warned you. Goddammit. I knew this shit would happen.”

Guilt eats at me again.
Does he not want me with Gabby now?
Panic starts to set in.
What am I going to do if he’s against this?
I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but now that I know, I will not give her up.

“I know and I’m a fucking idiot, alright?” I shrug him off and walk around to the other side of the island. I sit on a stool, resting my elbows on the counter and my head in my hands. “Please don’t hit me again. Just hear me out.” I raise my head and look at Josh. He’s standing with his back to the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen, facing me. He nods his head giving me the go ahead to go on and he’ll listen. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“Last night, when I saw Gabby sitting at the table by herself, I thought it would be a good time to ask her why she’s been avoiding me. Well, some things were said and I felt like I had been punched in the balls. I know, I know, all my fault.” I hold up my hand to cut him off when he starts to say something. “Anyways, asshole took off and left her again, on the dance floor. I was drunk, and I went up and started dancing with her. I kissed her, and she shoved me away and called me an asshole.”

“You deserved it.” Josh’s knuckles are white from gripping the counter. It looks like he wants to punch me again.

“Yeah, I did.” I bow my head and run my hands through my hair. “But, having her in my arms, like that. It made me realized how much I
do
feel for her, Josh. I know I fucked up. I’m going to get my shit together and I’m going to get my girl. I need to know that you’re going to be okay with it. You and Gabby both mean so much to me. I love her, Josh. This past month has been fucking hell. Watching her with Brandon, I’ve realized that no one will treat her like she needs to be treated.” I look him straight in the eyes so he can see how serious I am. “Except me.”

“What are you going to do if you get scared again, Cam?” Josh raises a brow.

“I’m not. Not having Gabby in my life at all is my biggest fear. I’ve realized that now. She’s it for me. Nothing on this earth compares to having her in my arms, her lips
—
” Holding my hands up, “okay, I won’t go there, but lesson learned. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her. If she’ll let me.”

“You better not fuck up, Cam. I’ll do more than bust your lip if you hurt her again.” Josh jabs his finger in my direction.

“If I hurt her you can beat the shit out of me.”

“Okay then.” He nods his head in agreement.
Thank Christ.
“Now, what the fuck is this shit about Brandon leaving her?”

Chapter Ten

*Gabby*

Saturday morning I wake up to my phone blaring. I roll over, grab it from my nightstand, and glance at the screen.
Josh Calling
.

“Morning, Sunshine!” Glancing at the clock I see that it’s already a little after eight.