Tending Their SECRET (7 page)

“You’re not upset? I know Jade was hurt when
she couldn’t touch Nate.”

“Because my idiot friend didn’t offer her
anything else, and she was scared to even touch his face or ask for
a kiss. This is a totally different situation. And honestly, you’re
offering me more than I’d hoped for.”

“Thank you.”

“No more of that. Unless it’s to thank me
for your orgasms later.”

I smile, but I’m still scared inside.
Really, really scared. Not that he’ll hurt me, but that I’ll freak
out in the middle of everything and ruin it. I don’t want to ruin
it—for either of us.

Ellie

My fears fade a little as I watch Aiden kick
off his shoes and start to remove his clothes. I’ve seen him naked
hundreds of times now, but it never gets old. Watching the planes
and dips of his lean muscles appear before me makes my mouth go
dry, and my panties get wet. When he drops his pants and boxer
briefs to let his long and thick cock free, I unconsciously lick my
lips. I still can’t believe it’s all mine. That he’s all mine.

“Everything okay?”

“Better than okay. You know how good you
look.”

He shrugs. “I work out
hard, but I
always
love the way you look at me. Clothed or naked.”

“Norma and the other women look at you like
I do.”

“No. They look at me like I’m something they
want. A body they desire, nothing more. You look at me like a man
you respect, but need to have at the same time.”

“I do respect you.”

“I know, and it makes all
the difference to me, El. It’s everything.
You’re
everything.”

That right there, what he said to me—that’s
what has me reaching for the zipper on my dress. I know it’s not
just a line he’s feeding me. He means it, and that makes it easier
for me to remove my clothes, and let him look at me. I haven’t been
naked in front of anyone since I was rescued. I wouldn’t even let
the doctors see all of me. I just couldn’t. But I can for Aiden,
knowing he’ll be seeing more than just my body.

That doesn’t stop my hands from shaking as
my dress falls to the floor, and I reach for the straps of my bra.
Aiden is in front of me, covering my hands, before I have a total
meltdown. “Leave it on. It’s okay.”

“You took everything off.”

“I did, but that doesn’t mean you have to.
Your hands are shaking, Doll. I don’t want that. If you feel ready
in a little while, take it off. Until then, I’m more than happy to
see you like this. You’re sexy as hell when you’re partially
covered.”

“Partially?” I ask with a laugh. This bra
covers me more than any other he’s seen me in, and my panties are
definitely not the boy shorts or thongs I used to live in. I’m all
about full coverage these days.

“You look amazing, and sexy, and about 5,000
other words I’m too tongue tied to say right now.”

“Well, let’s untie your tongue then,” I tell
him as I pull his head to mine and kiss him.

We stay like that for just a few minutes,
because I’m desperate to have my mouth on the rest of him. I move
my lips and tongue over his jaw, nibbling on his ear as he moans
into my hair. I don’t spend long on his neck or collarbone, but I
do give his beautiful pecs and abs a good amount of attention. I
slide to my knees as I lick along his ribs, and then lower.

“Ellie, you don’t have to.”

“I want to. You have no idea how much I want
to.”

“I’m not going to keep protesting then. Can
I put my hands somewhere, though?”

“You can put them in my hair, just don’t
pull too hard. Please?”

I know it’s a lot to ask, but I have to. If
he pulls it hard, I know it will trigger my memories and send me
spiraling into a panic attack. I feel his hands move into my fancy
hairdo, and then he’s pulling out the bobby pins.

“I’ll be careful. I just want it down. I
miss running my fingers through it.”

I nod, because the lump in my throat is too
big to speak around. I’ve always been so tough, except where he’s
concerned. His friends even call me “Brass” because they say I have
a pair of brass balls hiding somewhere. Growing up in bars—no
matter how loving and protective my family is—made me need to be
tough. This man is the only one I’ve ever let have the power to
completely destroy me. I may have been broken, but as long as he
treats me like I’m cherished and loved, I’ll never be
destroyed.

I know it’s not very progressive of me to
let a man hold my happiness in his hands, but I believe what Faith
said—that every woman sometimes needs someone to hold her up. One
person, male or female, who anchors you, holds you on your course
when you can’t do it yourself. Loves you so much that you can feel
it like a physical thing, surrounding you and protecting your heart
from destruction. Aiden is that person for me.

I let that love surround me now, as I take
one long lick up his length. He massages my scalp a little harder
as I continue, but doesn’t pull my hair. I reward him by taking him
as deep as I can while using one hand to stroke the rest of him,
and one hand to massage his balls. It’s not long before he’s
yelling out a string of obscenities while coming hard in my mouth
as I suck down everything he has.

“Fuck Ellie. I love your mouth.”

“My mouth loves your cock, so that works out
well for us,” I tell him, getting to my feet and kissing him.

“What can I do for you? I’ll do
anything.”

“Can we just lie down and kiss for a little
while.”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Um, Ellie, you just sucked me into a new
stratosphere. Why are you apologizing?”

“It was that good, huh?”

“With you, it’s
always
that
good.”

“Thanks for saying that. I’m just sorry that
I can’t let you do anything to me. I want you to, believe me, I
really want to. I just don’t think I can yet.”

“And again, you have nothing to apologize
for. I don’t want you do anything with me unless you’re 1000% sure
that it’s okay for you.”

“I’d like to sleep over,” I blurt out.

“I’d like that, too. We can hold hands.”

I keep saying that I can’t love Aiden any
more than I already do, and then he goes and says or does something
else. Granted, he’s also said and done a bunch of stupid shit, but
the good always outweighs the bad. Even when I thought he’d
abandoned me, I knew deep down that there had to be an explanation.
Now that I know there really was a reason that was beyond his
control, it makes me want to fight harder to get to a place where I
can give him everything again. And tell him everything that
happened to me, which will hurt us both, but has to be done at some
point. Just not tonight. Tonight is holding hands, and feeling safe
enough to sleep through the night.

* * *

Aiden

Sometime in the middle of the night, Ellie
moved over to my side of the bed and is curled up on my chest. It’s
the same way we used to always sleep, but it’s not how we were
supposed to sleep last night. My hands aren’t supposed to be where
they normally are, and I’m surprised to find that they’re not. One
is still holding her hand, even though it’s a little awkward with
the way we’re now lying. The other is on her hip. Good hands, going
where they’re allowed, and not where they want to be. I’m still
nervous about her waking up and freaking out, though. So nervous
that I force myself to lie still, so she doesn’t think I did
this.

“I’m awake, Hawk. You can move if you want,”
she says, opening her eyes, and turning her face up to kiss me on
the chin.

“I’m perfectly happy to stay this way. I was
worried you’d freak out, though.”

“I’m the one who apparently crawled on top
of you in the middle of the night.”

“There’ll be no complaints from me about
that. Ever.”

“It feels nice to be close to you like
this.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“We should have more sleepovers then.”

“I’d like that.”

“For now, how about I make us some
breakfast. You can take a shower, or a bath in my giant tub if you
want. Then we can hang out until it gets closer to work time.”

“I don’t have clothes.”

“I have some of your stuff from when you
were here before. I know it’s not what you’re wearing now, but you
can throw one of my shirts over a dress or skirt if you want. You
can wear a pair of my briefs if the panties make you
uncomfortable.”

“You just want me in your stuff.”

“Well, yeah. But I also want you to be
comfortable.” Right now, her comfort really is the most important
thing in the world to me. That, and her safety.

“I know. I was just teasing. Thank you. For
all of this, and for everything else.”

I close the distance between us and kiss her
sweetly. “You don’t ever have to thank me for wanting to take care
of you. It’s my favorite thing to do.”

“Your favorite?” she asks, with an eyebrow
raised.

“That’s taking care of you too, and you know
it,” I remind her, kissing her again. “Now, go take your bath.”

“How did you know I’d pick a bath?”

“Because you fell in love with my tub last
time you were here. Which is why I stocked up on all of your
favorite stuff from Lush.”

“You remembered Lush? And what I like?” she
asks, turning to fully look at me with wide eyes.

“What kind of future husband would I be if I
didn’t?”

“About that.”

“What about that?”

“Your dad shouldn’t have put that pressure
on you.”

“No pressure. I
am
going to ask you one
day, in a way that will be perfect for you and no one
else.”

Tears well up in her eyes, and I’m panicked
for about half a second. “I love you so much, Aiden Ford.”

“I know you do. I love you, too, Elletra
Gallagher.”

I cook her that breakfast
and then ask her to please leave my amazing bathtub to eat it. At
one time, I would’ve just run in there and grabbed her out of the
tub myself—or threatened to do it. I can’t do that right now. It’s
harder for me than I tell her, ignoring the way I would normally
act with her, but I can do it. Because she needs me to do it. To
stay hands off and non-threatening in any way. And I’d do anything
for her.
Anything.

“We should leave soon, so I can pick up
something to wear to work tonight,” she tells me hours later, when
we’re hanging out on the couch, watching movies, while holding
hands.

“What’s wrong with the clothes you have on?
I like this look.”

She’s in one of my t-shirts, knotted at her
waist, and one of her black skirts that is a little shorter than
what she normally wears, but not too much. Her hair is in a messy
bun, and she’s just looking sexy as hell. Nothing new there.

“I manage a high class bar, not a
neighborhood watering hole. Your mom would kill me if she saw me
dressed like this at work.”

“Nah. My mom isn’t Elizabeth Mason. She
wouldn’t kill you, she’d just cuss you out like a sailor.”

“I’d like to stay on her good side, so I
need clothes.”

“Fine. Do you want to stay there or here
tonight? I can grab a bag if you’d rather be at your place.”

“You don’t mind staying with me? I don’t
want to cramp your bachelor style.”

“Being a bachelor is highly overrated. I
just want to be wherever you are.”

“My place it is then. You have a better tub,
but I have a bigger kitchen.”

“You don’t cook,” I remind her.

“Faith has been teaching me a few things,”
she replies, sticking out her tongue at me.

“I’ll happily taste test for you.”

“Thank you. Now, go pack so I have time to
change and do my hair.”

“Are you wearing it down?”

“No. I-I can’t.”

“Just for me, then?” I ask, running my
fingers through the strands that are loose around her face.

“Yeah.”

“I like that.”

I really do, but I also want her to get to
the place where she can feel comfortable and confident again. I’m
going to help her in any way I can by showing her how amazing she
is and by protecting her at all costs. I’ll lose myself before I
ever lose her again.

Ellie

“Hey, Doll. What time are we taking our
break?” Aiden asks, coming up to me during one of the rare slow
times of the night.

“Rain check?” I ask, biting my lip.

“You got a hot date with someone else?” he
says, looking somewhere between pissed and hurt.

“Really, Hawk?”

He sighs. “No. I know you don’t have a date
with someone else. Can I ask what you’ll be doing since it’s not
me?”

I roll my eyes and then get serious. “I need
to call my shrink.”

“Oh,” he says, his eyes going wide. “Are you
okay? I mean, are we okay? Is what we did okay? Geez, El, I tried
not to push. Did I push?”

I place my hand over his lips to stop him.
“Yes, yes, yes and no, you did not push me. I just need to talk
things out.”

“Talking’s good.”

“Yes, it is.”

“You can talk to me, you know. When you’re
ready.”

“I will…when I can. I promise.”

“You talk to Nate.”

It comes across as more like a question than
a statement, and I have a feeling that he doesn’t like his best
friend knowing things he doesn’t about me. That can’t be helped,
though. I need Nate. If my best friend can understand that, then so
can Aiden.

“I
do
talk to him. I won’t apologize for
that. He understands.”

“I’d understand.”

“Aiden, I love you, but we’re not going to
be okay if you can’t accept that Nate’s helping me in a way that
you can’t.”