Tenure Track (41 page)

Perhaps out of a sense of male unity, Lewis felt the need to defend the young man. “I don’t think Gus ever wanted to cheat on Julie,” he said, “but I do think he felt they were too young to be tied down.”

Mandy looked at him skeptically. “Is that what you think?” she asked rather sarcastically. “Is that part of the guy code? To stick up for each another?”

Now Lewis became defensive. “I’m just saying, I think Gus wants to do the right thing. He talked to me about it once. He really loves Julie, but sometimes love isn’t enough.”

“
Spoken like a true divorced guy,” she replied cynically. “Momma’d be proud.”

Lewis stuck his hands in his pockets and shifted the weight on his feet. As a cool breeze began to blow, Mandy pulled a sweater up over her shoulders. A few months ago, he would have offered a protective arm for warmth, but he knew the time for such an affectionate gesture had passed.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Mandy sighed and looked into the distance. “Ya know what I think?” she said philosophically. “I think Gus and Julie are one of those couples who’ll go their own way, do their own thing, but keep in touch, and then, somewhere down the line, when the time’s right, they’ll hook back up again and it’ll be forever. They just get each other too well.”

“
Soulmates?” Lewis asked.

“
Oh, that word’s
way
overused, but I do think some people are destined to be together. Gus and Julie are like that, I think. It’s just meant to be. Can’t fight it.”

He reminded her that she had once said something similar about her own parents, to which she agreed. Lewis breathed a quiet sigh of relief at her romanticism.
She still believes in true love.
He had not ruined that part of her.

“
Well, there’s always hope,” he remarked with a wry smile.

“
Yeah, there is,” she said, shivering. “Brrr. It’s getting cold out here. I’d better find the girls. Make sure Gus knows you came. It’ll mean a lot to him.”

He promised that he would as he watched her go back inside and approach the roommates, who were conversing with Dr. Stevens. Lewis made his way back to his seat just as the curtain rose on the second act, in which Gus’s character fights with friends and relatives who call him out on his fears of re-entering the world. By the end of the play, he decides to take a chance and return to his true love—teaching. As he watched this final act, Lewis could not help but relate to many aspects of Gus’s character.

After the curtain closed, Lewis and Sheila hung around in the foyer to congratulate the lead actor. They did not see the women, who may have been backstage, in the restroom, or already driving home. When Gus entered the lobby, he was mobbed by admiring fans. Lewis noticed that the young man was uncharacteristically leaning on a cane for support and looked a little thinner and paler than usual. Gus fed off the small crowd’s energy, rejuvenated by shaking hands, signing autographs, and posing for photos. Lewis stood back a moment until the vet caught sight of him. “Lew! Hey, Dude!” He used his cane to part the crowd and make his way to the professor, whom he embraced like a long-lost brother, touched that Lewis had made it to the show. He then embraced Dr. Stevens like an old friend. Both instructors shared their positive assessment of his performance.

“
Thanks, that means a lot. Boy, will I be glad when this thing is over, though. Whew! It’s wearin’ me out. All I ever do is work. Hey, we’re havin’ a little openin’ night party next door. Ya’ll wanna come?”

They politely declined. Gus was the same as ever—friendly, forthright, and ambitious, going 90 miles an hour without stopping. Lewis hoped the young man would find fame before his schedule killed him.

After Sheila excused herself to wait outside, Gus asked rapidly, “Oh, didya hear me and Jules broke up? But we’re cool. It’s cool. . . . Didya see Mandy?”

Lewis stiffened a bit. “Yes, I spoke to her a little during intermission.”

“
She’s lookin’ good, ain’t she?” Lewis nodded in agreement. “Sorry about all that crap with her mom. She’s a little out there, ya know?” Lewis looked sheepish. “I hope it didn’t get ya in too much trouble, but your story’s really big with my fans. One of my most popular bits. They think you two should get back together.” Lewis was not quite sure what to think about having his personal life decided by Internet vote.

Gus leaned in very close to Lewis’s ear and whispered, “Ya know she still loves ya, Dude.”

Lewis’s shocked look revealed that Gus had struck a chord. He continued. “She hadn’t gone out with nobody since you two broke up, Dude. She might as well be a nun, knowwhatImsayin’? Check out the site. It’s all there, Dude.”

Before Lewis could ask more, Gus was whisked away by a band of co-stars who declared it was time to party. Walking to the car, Lewis looked around one more time, hoping Mandy was still nearby. No sign of her. He assumed the friends had probably already headed over to the party.

He was rather sullen as he drove his companion home. “What are your thoughts, Dr. Burns?” Sheila finally asked.

He hemmed and hawed a few moments. “Dr. Stevens,” he finally said, “do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

She shrugged. “You may always ask.”

“
Do you have any regrets? I mean, things you wish you had done differently if you had known you’d have MS.” He surprised himself by actually naming her disease out loud.

She pondered his question for a moment. Looking out the window at the starless night sky, she mused, “Sometimes I wish perhaps I had given birth to a child, but I have two fine stepsons and a host of children I’ve helped raise through my work. So, no, I can’t say I regret that. I believe I’m doing what my maker intended for me to do. . . . I can say I wish I had married sooner.”

Lewis nodded slowly, less in agreement than in acknowledgement. “We had our reasons for waiting,” she explained. “I was stubborn and he had faired poorly in his first marriage. However, it should not have required a debilitating illness to solidify our commitment. I regret that it did. And what is it that you regret, Dr. Burns?”

“
These days,” he answered, “everything.”

“
Hmm,” she replied. “That’s a bad place to be.”

“
Yes, it is,” he agreed.

“You know the only difference between myself and others without a disease, Dr. Burns? I am fully aware of my own mortality. But I still do not know how much time I have. None of us do. Should my disease progress to its completion, it will kill me, but something else might before then. It could be cancer, a bullet . . . an automobile accident. None of us knows the hour or date of our fate, Dr. Burns. All we can do is not waste the time we have been given.”

After safely delivering Dr. Stevens home, her chauffeur contemplated her advice as he made the lonely trek back to his quiet abode.

The solemn anniversary of Bloody Valentine’s Day rolled around once more, with a simple memorial. Few professors even remembered to observe the moment of silence. With each passing year the collective memory faded.

Just as during the previous year, the day put Lewis into a funk, made worse by unintentionally seeing Mandy again. She was studying in the main library early in the morning as he entered to renew a rare title. Remembering his promise, he offered a friendly “Hi” as he passed by her chair.

“
Oh, hi!” she returned.

He wanted to say more, so much more, but his tongue seized up on him. Ever since seeing her at Gus’s play, he had entertained thoughts that perhaps one day, after graduation, they might be able to reconnect. As the day progressed and his funk deepened, he found himself inexplicably headed towards the Chug-a-Lug, stopping along the way to buy a rose from a transient. Realizing she might not even be working that night, he just as impulsively tossed the flower into a trashcan outside the pub doors.

The tenure committee reconvened in late February to make a final decision on Lewis’s application. At this point, he felt pretty confident about his chances. However, he had not reckoned how much his future lay in the hands of his department Chair. The tenure committee was ready to put its stamp of approval on his promotion. Once his Chair approved their decision, the paperwork would move to the Dean of Academic Affairs and the President for their review. Both administrators had indicated they would follow Jane’s recommendation.

Technically, Gary’s role in the matter was finished, but throughout the ordeal he and Jane had discussed the importance of the incident as a precedent setter. Gary was still a supporter of No Fraternization and believed that this case proved its value. He noted that, even though this accusation had been resolved quietly, the whole campus knew about the scandal from the gossip network and the Internet photo. The Dean believed the complaint had the desired chilling effect on any professors who might consider engaging in such risky behavior, but expressed concerns that there would be no continuing deterrent should it seem that Lewis Burns was getting off scot free. Gary still believed that undergraduates needed to be treated more like children than adults and that the university had a duty to protect them from their own foolish decisions.

Jane had grappled with this issue for months, though her judgment was admittedly clouded by personal worries. Despite several therapy sessions with Phyllis, Dana had still not confessed to an inappropriate relationship with Coach Gibson. Jane did notbelieve her own daughter anymore than she believed Mandy Taylor’s carefully worded denials of an inappropriate relationship with Lewis. Jane could never think about Mandy and Lewis without conflating them with Dana and Coach Gibson. The twins had just turned 18, only two years younger than Mandy at the time of the affair. To Jane, Dana was still a child, incapable of making rational decisions regarding a teacher who wielded great power and influence over her.
Would she be capable of making such decisions in two years?
As seen through the eyes of a mother, not a scholar, Jane sympathized with Gary’s rationale.

Jane recognized her own hypocrisy and sexism in discounting her long-ago affair, but that was a different era and she was a different person. Had No Fraternization been in place years ago, the young man might not have asked her out. Or if he had, she would more likely have said “no.” In hindsight, the prohibition might have saved her a great deal of heartache.
Sometimes, people
do
need saving from themselves.
Jane now had the power to prevent others from making similar mistakes, and she planned to use that power.

Two days after meeting with the tenure committee, Jane broke the news to Lewis. He was in an especially cheerful mood, no doubt expecting to hear congratulations. He sat in a stiff wooden chair in Jane’s office, as she stood facing him, leaning against the desk, with arms folded in front.

“
Lewis,” she began. “The tenure committee met. They were very impressed with your application.” His face fell. It was like reading the Yale rejection letter all over again. Had he been granted tenure, she would have just said so right away. Listing his attributes was only drawing out the inevitable rejection.

“
You’re obviously a dedicated teacher and a good scholar,” she continued. “Your service to the school has been impressive. They liked the fact that you have a second book coming out.”

He refused to be humored by compliments. “Just spit it out, Jane. Did I get tenure or not?”

Jane stretched her mouth, as if trying to pull words from it. “The university has decided to table any decisions for this year and to review your application again during the fall process. You won’t have to redo the packet, but you will have an opportunity to add new information to it.”

Lewis had been relegated to the Last Chance pile. Such a one-year extension was usually a type of probation, reserved for those who needed to beef up their credentials. A rejection after extension was the kiss of death.

“
What do you mean, the university has decided?
Who
was that? The committee? The Dean? The President?
Who?
” he asked incredulously.

She avoided answering, carefully moving around to sit behind her desk. “I don’t see any need to point fingers.”

“
That means it was you!” he spit. “Why?”

She decided that it was better for him to know the truth. “Lewis, I like you, but I have to do what’s best for the university. This case raised awareness about the need to enforce No Fraternization. Personally, for you, I’m glad the mediation succeeded. But even though the formal complaint was withdrawn before it hit the ethics committee, I can’t ignore the poor judgment that you exhibited and the embarrassment you brought to this school. You must be held accountable for that.”

“
Meaning I still need to be punished to show that the school didn’t just gloss it over,” he shot back.

“
That’s not true,” she lied. “This is about your behavior as a representative of this department and how it reflects on the decision to grant tenure.” She began pointing a finger in the air as she spoke, as if lecturing one of the twins. “Look, we did you a favor Lewis. Had the committee made a decision, even in your favor, I could not in good conscience approve it right now. That would have been the end of it. This way, you only have to wait a few months to show how you’ve grown from this experience and then we’ll take a vote.”