Tequila & Tea Bags (14 page)

‘Uh…yeah.’ I put my hand to my hair, realising it must be standing up in all directions. I must have panda eyes too. He grins roguishly, as if reading my mind. ‘Let me just get ready.’

I close the door and run upstairs, ignoring Elsie’s grin. I have to make myself look half decent.

Five minutes later I’m bounding down the stairs apprehensively. I mean, is he going to mention last night at
all?

We walk the long stretch to the stables in awkward silence. We change Mitsy out of her pyjamas, let her out, and lead her towards the field.

‘So where shall we go?’ I ask, avoiding his gaze. I wonder if there are any pretty paths along here that he knows of. I’ve only just started looking after her so I’ve just cantered around the field.  

His face drops, fear evident in his eyes. ‘What? I thought we were just gonna ride around the stables?’

‘What’s the point in that?’ I grin, loving the shock on his face. ‘No, I’m taking you for a ride.’

I only wish that were true. I can still remember the feel of his erection pressing into my back.

‘You know I can hear your dirty mind at work,’ he says, wiggling his eyebrows. ‘Stop being such a pervert and follow me up.’

How does he do that? He puts his leg into the stirrup and swings his leg over Mitsy. He sits back in the saddle and reaches out his hand. It’s only when I look closely I realise he’s shaking. Bless him. Trying to be all Tarzan-like in front of me. I ignore his hand and climb up, sitting myself in front of him.

‘Why do I have to be up front? Can't I be behind you, like on a motorcycle?’

‘Because you’re smaller than me,’ he says, his voice strained. He’s really scared, bless him.

He kicks his legs and Mitsy starts walking along. His arms find their way around my waist, sending electronic currents of desire through me. Every now and again his chin drops down to rest on my shoulder. I roll my eyes, but it’s bloody adorable. What is happening to me?

He leads me out of the stables field and along a deserted dirt track. He seems to know where we’re going so I let him lead.

‘Do you think I’m a bastard?’ he blurts out from nowhere.

I try to turn and look at him, but Mitsy starts to freak out.

‘What?’ I ask.

Is he talking about last night? Because he refused sex?

‘For letting my mum down.’ He drops his head onto my shoulder again. I think it’s sweet until I realise it’s so I can't turn and look at him. He’s so manipulative.

‘Letting your mum down? What are you talking about? How the hell have you let her down? By not riding Mitsy? That’s stupid,’ I snort. Whoops. Try not to sound like a pig, Rose. Men don’t normally find them attractive, and if they do they’re not the type of men you want to know.

‘Nice snort, porky pig,’ he laughs. Damn. ‘No. By not looking after James.’

I’m confused. James seems fine.

‘He might seem okay,’ he says, reading my mind again. ‘But I basically abandoned him to look after dad all by himself when I went to uni. Then I got the job in Leeds. I never looked back. I just wanted to forget all about it. This place had too many memories. I only came back because of my grandad dying. It made me realise that life was still continuing here, regardless of where I was.’

I’m not really sure what to say to that. Deep and meaningful does not mesh well with me. The deepest conversation I’ve had with Janey was what we’d do if a guy asked to be exclusive with her.

‘What did you do at uni?’ I ask, trying to change the subject.

‘I studied accountancy.’ I hear the smile in his voice.

I roll my eyes, knowing he can't see me. God, even his course was boring.

‘And you didn’t die from boredom? Honestly, Will, only the biggest bores become accountants.’

I feel him smile into my shoulder. ‘Well then you’ve clearly never been to a firms Christmas party. They get freaky!’ He chuckles.

Freaky? Images of drunk accountants in grey getting spanked in the stationary cupboard flashes through my mind. Possibly because I lost a job that way. Oh, but Billy Ruthers was
so
worth it. I shake my head to get rid of the delicious image.

‘So, what, you’re telling me you honestly get excited over numbers?’

He sighs heavily. ‘Numbers are straight forward. They can't be interpreted. It’s just right or wrong in any language. I like that.’

I suppose that makes sense to some extent.

‘Loser,’ I giggle. I lean back, secretly revelling in the feeling of being in his arms. A calming feeling settles over me. I realise it’s me feeling content. I look straight ahead, revelling in it. I spot an old dilapidated building with old grey stones. ‘What’s that?’

He follows my pointed finger. ‘Oh, it’s the old castle. It’s been in ruins forever. No one ever comes this far.’

I feel him tense his arms up and I realise it’s because he’s noticed how far we’ve come.  

‘Can we look at it closer?’ Maybe if I take his mind off riding again he might start to relax.

He guides Mitsy towards it and helps me down into his strong arms. It’s strangely romantic and reminds me of how Betty said girls used to be courted in her day. I walk to the wall and start to stroke the cold stone. I wonder what kind of shit went down in an old place like this. I bet a lot of debauchery.

‘You like old buildings?’ he muses. ‘I wouldn’t have had you down as the sort.’

‘To what? Appreciate beauty? Thanks, Will,’ I snort. He must think I’m just a sex mad bimbo.

‘Hey,’ he protests, turning my chin so that I face him. ‘You know I didn’t mean that.’

He plants a quick feather light kiss on my lips. My legs almost go weak with the hunger for him. He’s treating me too nicely and not following through with sex.

That’s it. I can't wait any longer. I need to know what the hell is going on between us.

I pull away so there’s some distance between us. ‘What is this?’

He starts chewing his lip, his eyes puzzled. ‘An old castle. I told you.’

‘You know what I mean,’ I say while hitting him on the chest, trying to hide my smile. God, it’s perfect. ‘What’s going on between us?’

‘Easy. You’re mine,’ he answers with a cool smile. ‘You just don’t realise it yet.’

I’m his? He’s so fucking cryptic. It’s really starting to piss me off.

‘If I’m yours then take me! Why can't we have sex?’ I demand, my hand on my hip. I sound
slightly
more hysterical than I planned.

He scrunches his forehead. ‘I’ve told you, Rose, not yet.’ He seems annoyed. He has no bloody right to be. ‘And we shouldn’t be public yet.’

Wow. That stings more than it should. He’s ashamed of me. Ashamed of the village whore.

‘Fuck you, Will!’ I spit, turning and stomping away. To where I have no idea. I didn’t pay attention on the way here. I was too busy relishing in the feel of Will pressed up against me. Bloody idiot.

He grabs my arm roughly and swings me round to face him.

‘I’m not ashamed of you, if that’s what you think,’ he snaps, his eyes pissed. ‘I think we just need to get this incentive programme over with first. I don’t want people to think you’re getting preferential treatment at the home. I’d hate to ruin your chance of winning.’

Oh…yeah. That makes sense. I need to win to get to Mexico. Only…well, now the thought of leaving this village makes a sadness burn heavily in my heart, which is weird. I’m not going to change all my plans for a bloody man. Especially one who is refusing sex.

I need to change the subject. I should never have asked. Wow, he’s going to think I’m in love with him or something. ‘Oh, and what did the police want the other day?’ I ask as casually as possible.

‘Proper bizarre.’ He crinkles his forehead. ‘They wanted to check what our policy was on residents dying.’

‘Huh?’ How random.

‘I know,’ he nods. ‘They wanted me to know that any deaths need to be registered, regardless of whether there are any living relatives. It was so strange.’

That really is strange. Uh-oh. It hits me like a bullet. Oh my God. Eric. It’s Eric. It’s that stupid bullshit story I told him about residents dying of the plague. Only he’s gone and had a hissy fit, crying to the police. I need to find him before this gets out of hand.

‘Hmm, very strange.’ I nod vaguely, hoping he’ll change the subject.

***

‘So how did you leave it?’ Megan asks me, leaning over the bar as she sips her lemonade. I’ve obviously filled her in on my romantic afternoon with Will.

‘He seemed quite sad and quiet for a bit so we just said bye.’

‘No kiss?’ She sounds so disappointed.

‘Sssshhh!’ I hiss. ‘Keep your voice down. This could cause me to lose my job.’

‘Oh, because I’m sure you always wanted to be a care worker when you were growing up,’ she snorts.

Tuesday 21
st
October

I hid all day yesterday at the care home. I was petrified of bumping into Will before I work out what’s going on between us. It’s Tuesday morning and I still have no bloody idea. I still don’t even understand when I even really started to like him.
Since I realised he was sexy as fuck.
No, shut up.

And what about his brother that I was previously shagging? This could all get awkward. Well, awkward for me anyway.

Today, everywhere I turn Will’s there, winking at me with a sly grin on his face. And I can’t help but smile like a big bloody girl! Since when did I get this gooey over men? It’s this bloody village turning me crazy. Although at least this weekend opened my eyes to see that people still manage to have fun here. There does seem to be a secret night life, only it runs in the form of house parties.

I’ve just broken up another bitch fest between Betty and Peggy when I see Will welcome an official looking woman into the building. Who the hell is she? She’s wearing a navy suit and has harsh looking spectacles resting on her nose. Definitely not one to fit in here.

He starts leading her upstairs as a bad feeling makes itself home in my tummy.

I run over to Beth and pull on her arm. ‘Who’s the suit?’ I nod towards them disappearing up the stairs.

‘No idea.’

‘Crap.’

Is she here to assess us or something? Did he tell on me for trying it on with him? He wouldn’t do that after Sunday, right? Unless he’s a two-faced evil bastard.

‘Let’s look at the sign in book,’ she offers.

I practically run over to the reception desk and run my finger down the people log.

Felicity Meller, Yorkshire Social Services.

What the fuck?

My stomach hits my toes as it comes to me. Peggy. Could this really be about Peggy? Because I said she shit herself? I run back into the lounge and look around for her, but I can’t see her anywhere. Double crap.

‘Has anyone seen Peggy?’ I shout frantically, quickly losing my mind. Way to play it cool, Rose.

‘Someone told her to go to her room. Has a visitor.’ Archie explains as he puts his teeth back into his mouth.

Oh God, I’m going to vomit. This is bad.
Seriously
bad. Why the hell did I ever think pooing in a bucket was a good idea? And why is Will such a bloody jobs worth! He should have just left it.

I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time and then along the narrow corridor to her room. The door is ajar slightly so I peer in. Peggy is sitting up in her bed, while the suit leans over her with a clipboard.

Think, Rose. You have to do something to sort this out. This is
your
shit storm. Literally.

‘Peggy! I sing, swinging the door open. ‘Here you are!’

Will looks at me, bewildered.

‘She’s always running away from me, this one,’ I explain to the woman. ‘Has the energy of a twenty year old!’

Mrs Meller lowers her glasses and inspects me. ‘And you
are?’

‘I’m Rose.’ I raise my hand and do an awkward wave.

Will shoots me a look which I think says ‘what the hell are you doing here?’ I ignore him.

‘Rose, we’re in the middle of something,’ he says nicely enough, but only I can tell he wants to drag me out of here and ask what the hell I’m doing.

‘Of course, William,’ I smile sweetly, excusing myself. ‘A quick word outside?’

He takes my arm to guide me out, more forcibly than needed. As soon as the door is shut behind us he narrows his eyes on me.

‘What?’ he asks bluntly.

‘Why is that woman here? What’s going on?’ I ask in a hushed whisper.

He rolls his eyes. ‘You know its policy not to discuss our patients. Patient confidentiality.’

God, he’s infuriating.

‘Cut the bullshit, Will,’ I snap impatiently. ‘Why the fuck is she here?’

He glares furiously at me long and hard before giving in. ‘She’s here to assess Peggy.’

‘Assess what?’ I shriek. I realise I’m on my tiptoes leaning dangerously up into his personal space.

He lowers his voice to a whisper, looking around to check if anyone is near before speaking. ‘Whether she can continue to live here.’

‘Why the fuck wouldn’t she?’ I demand, my stomach feeling sicker by the second.

‘Mind your language,’ he hisses, furrowing his brows. ‘You told me yourself she’s having problems controlling her bowels. This home can’t cater for that type of care. She needs proper care.’

‘She doesn’t! I’m sure it was just a one-time thing!’ I whine. I’m starting to sweat.

‘I don’t have time to argue with you, Rose. I have to do what’s best for Peggy.’ He opens the door and walks back in, leaving the door to slam in my face.

Fuck. I’ve just fucked over Peggy. I should really just walk away. Just let them find out for themselves that she’s fine and she can stay here. Only…what if they make the wrong decision and she’s transferred all because of me? I couldn’t live with myself. I’m walking back into the room before I change my mind.

They all turn to look at me again, Will’s face maddened. I’m seriously pissed off.

I try to blend in and busy myself folding some of her clothes. They watch me until it’s clear to them I’m not going away.

‘Peggy, do you often have incontinence problems?’ Mrs Meller asks her.

‘Incontinence?’ Peggy blurts out in revulsion. ‘Isn’t that when a man can’t get himself…to stand to attention?’ she whispers.

I burst out laughing, unable to stop myself. Will shoots me an irritated look.

‘No, Peggy,’ he smiles. ‘It means having problems where you can’t make it to the toilet in time,’ he explains.

Her face slowly registers what he’s saying and she’s immediately appalled. ‘William! How could you ask me such an awful question?’

‘It’s okay, Peggy,’ he says in a soft, encouraging voice. He perches on her bed. ‘It’s nothing to be ashamed of.’

‘I’m not ashamed about anything, William,’ she snaps, her face like thunder. ‘Because I don’t have a problem.’

‘Are you having any problems with your memory?’ Mrs Meller asks, scrawling something on her clipboard.

‘My memory? Of course not!’ she shrieks, sounding highly offended.

‘Look, Peggy,’ Will tries to reason. ‘We know about the…incident. We’re just trying to establish if it was a one-time thing or if you’ve been struggling for a while.’

‘The only thing I’m struggling with is you rambling on about nonsense!’ She’s getting red in the face now. ‘I still remember you being potty trained and, let me tell you, it took you a good few years to get out of those training pants!’

I bite my lip to stop it from breaking into a grin. Will looks back at me, his face resigned. ‘Maybe you can reason with her?’

All eyes turn to me. Me? I’m the one who’s got us in this bloody mess! But he’s not to know that. He obviously thinks I’m here because I care.

‘I’m not sure what I can do,’ I say quietly, wondering if I can run from the room without them suspecting anything is wrong.

‘You were there, Rose,’ he encourages. He smiles, his eyes wrinkling, pleading for help.

‘There?’ Peggy asks, confused. ‘Rose, what on earth is he talking about?’ She looks at me, pleading for my help.

‘Um…’  They’re all staring at me now. There’s no way out of this. ‘They know about…the incident,’ I mumble, tripping over my words.

Please
let her think this is about something else.

‘Oh,’ she nods, seeming to understand. ‘Yes, that. If you’re thinking I’m sorry then I’m not. I’d do it again!’

She must think I’m talking about her fight with Betty.

‘You’d do it again?’ Will repeats, scratching his head in confusion.

‘You bet I would!’ she shrieks, crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest.

Oh for God’s sakes. This doesn’t look good. She’d hardly be bragging about pooing!

Will looks between me and Peggy. ‘Are we talking about the same thing? About the…poo?’ he whispers.

Peggy’s face scrunches up in disgust. ‘Poo? What bloody poo?’ She looks at me demandingly.

All of their eyes are on me now. I feel a flush of embarrassment flurry in my chest, spreading upwards to my cheeks. I look down at the floor, so they can't stare at me any longer, but I can still
feel
their eyes on me. What the hell am I going to say?

‘You know, Peggy,’ I smile sweetly, deciding on a whim to brash it out. ‘The poo. I’m afraid I had to tell Will.’

I’m afraid she’s going to have to go down after all. I
cannot
be known as the girl who pooed in the cardboard bucket. It’s just not an option.

‘Tell Will what?’ she scrunches her eyes up, narrowing them on me. ‘Rose, I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

Will’s brows furrow, as if he might be doubting me for a second. I’m tempted to flash a boob to distract him.

‘She’s got a terrible memory,’ I say to Mrs Meller. ‘Mind like a sieve!’ I laugh, unnaturally high pitched.

‘Do you often forget things, Peggy?’ She turns back to us. ‘This could be early signs of dementia. Then she’d be looking at going into a special dementia home.’

Oh my God. I’m sending her off to a loony bin.

‘No, she’s not senile!’ I yell. Keep it cool, Rose. Don’t lose it.

‘Of course I’m not!’ she squeals, her cheeks red with panic. ‘I just didn’t have an incident involving poo!’

This is going to end badly. I start backing out of the room. Maybe if there’s so much confusion they won’t even notice me run for the hills.

‘Rose,’ Will says turning round to me, just as my hand is on the door handle. ‘If it wasn’t Peggy’s poo…what could it have been?’ He studies me, his green eyes growing suspicious.

‘Um…’

Shit, shit, shit.

‘Rose?’ Will says again, staring at me, his eyes almost penetrating my soul. ‘Was it…Peggy’s poo?’

I can’t believe were having such a stressful conversation around poo.

‘Umm…’  My hands are clammy and my legs are turning to jelly. Think, Rose! For fuck sakes, THINK!

‘Well?’ Mrs Meller demands, glaring at me.

The room is starting to spin around me. I hang my head in shame. Trying to remain a shred of dignity.

‘No.’

‘Well if it wasn’t Peggy’s poo, then whose was it?’ he asks, looking between us all.

‘It was…’ think of someone, Rose! But I can't think. All I can do is feel; feel the sweat forming on my lower back. Feel their eyes on me. Feel their suspicion.

‘And before you answer, remember that this is going to be taken extremely seriously,’ Mrs Meller reminds me, glaring at me behind her spectacles.

‘It was…’ I swallow the lump in my throat and clamp my eyes shut. ‘It was…mine.’

I drop my head, listening to their disgusted gasps. Oh dear bloody God. Please God, take pity on me and strike me down dead.

‘Shit,’ they all mutter at the same time.

You’re telling me.

***

‘So, wait,’ Elsie says, gasping for air as she wets herself giggling. ‘You admitted to pooing in that thing yourself?’

I stare down at the carpet ashamed, but also feeling the intense urge to giggle. It’s just too ridiculous. Plus, I’ve never seen Elsie laugh so much, especially about something so stupid. I just assumed she’d tell me off.

‘Don’t laugh!’ I throw myself back onto the sofa and cover my face in my hands. ‘I’m mortified!’

Just thinking of their faces again brings back a fresh dose of helplessness.

‘Well, I’m proud of you!’ She pours herself another glass of red wine and fills up my glass.

She really drinks a lot of red wine for someone claiming to be a wannabe nun.

‘Why the hell would you be proud of me?’ I laugh. ‘Yeah, I can poo with the best of them! Hardly one to brag about.’

Oh God. Will word get around? Will I get a cruel nickname? I
cannot
be called
Winnie the Pooh
, or worse…something like
shit bag
. Or
hers don’t smell like Roses
. I shudder at the thought.

‘But you told the truth,’ she grins, her lips already turning purple from the wine. ‘You
could
have lied and you told the truth to save Peggy.’ Marbles the cat jumps on her lap, meowing loudly.

‘Only when I was backed into a corner! I lied until I
couldn’t
anymore.’

Oh God, why did I ever think it would be a good idea to poo in a bucket? I wasn’t even drunk. This is going to haunt me until the day I die.

‘I’m still proud of you,’ she smiles, leaning over and patting my hand like a dog. Marbles gives me a dirty look. She’s clearly not proud. She barely tolerates me.