Test Drive (Crossroads Book 3) (9 page)

“The chemo and cancer have definitely taken its toll on his body. I don’t…he doesn’t look good. There’s an appointment coming up, so I guess we’ll know more then, but I don’t anticipate it being good news.” Jacob wiped the tears from her eyes as he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

The rolling in Drew’s stomach turned to a heaviness in his chest.

“Is he still living with…I’m sorry. I can’t remember his name, but your other brother?”

“Justin,” Drew answered his mom’s question before Shanen had the chance to. “His name is Justin.” Four sets of eyes turned his way. “I remember from the party.” Drew shrugged.

“He is,” Shanen replied. “I’ve considered talking to him about it, though. I feel like we should be helping more. He stays with Mom sometimes, but Jacob and I have a lot more space. Justin is sleeping on the couch in the house they’re sharing. I’ve been considering asking him if maybe Dad should stay with us. We could also get a part-time nurse to help out, but I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do. I don’t want Justin to feel as though I’m trying to take over. It’s just—” she shook her head, a few more tears rolling down her face—“it’s a touchy situation that I don’t know how to navigate. None of us do.”

Touchy was putting it lightly. He had a feeling Justin would be crushed if they wanted Larry to stay with Shanen. Justin would take it personally, as though he wasn’t included. His heart hurt at the thought.

Drew leaned away from the table, suddenly having lost his appetite.

***

Justin walked to the kitchen table and sat across from his dad. He was doing a puzzle, his wheelchair locked tight as he worked on it.

It was so strange seeing him like this. It was his father. He’d always been larger than life. Before Justin met him, he used to imagine all of the different things he could be—a SWAT team member, the president. Maybe he’d been undercover and was traveling the world protecting people, which had been why he couldn’t be with Justin.

When his dad came back into his life, it hadn’t mattered that he was none of those things. It hadn’t mattered that he hadn’t been around. The only thing he’d cared about was the fact that he was his father, and was there.

The older he’d gotten, things changed, of course, but he’d never had anything except respect for his father. Had never seen him as anything other than strength, and love, until he found out about Shanen and Landon.

Then his dad had become a liar, the kind of man who left his kids.

And Justin struggled to see anything other than his illness when he looked at him, especially since they were in the middle of another round of treatment and each one was harder on him.

Every time he saw his father, he noticed more differences. Joy had stepped up to the plate a lot lately. During training at the restaurant, he’d agreed to work extra days. They were short shifts, but in the last two weeks, he’d worked six days. “Maybe this job thing wasn’t a good idea. I feel bad that Joy has to keep coming over to take care of you.”

His dad scoffed. “No one has to take care of me. I told you both I’d be fine on my own.”

“Can we not do this again?” Justin sighed. “You could do a whole hell of a lot worse than having people who care about you and want to make sure you’re okay.”

His father flinched and then leaned back in his chair. “You’re right. I know you’re right, and I know I probably don’t deserve any of it. I’m just feeling extra tired today. Not really feeling so hot.”

Worry bounced around inside Justin like a pinball in a pinball machine. “Why? What’s wrong?” Did they need to go to the doctor? Hell, maybe he should tell Nick he was sorry but the job hadn’t been a good idea. He already felt like he was skirting responsibility but the money he had put away wouldn’t last forever either…

“Has the diarrhea gotten any better?”

“Please don’t. I know you want to help but,” his dad groaned, “speaking with my son about how often I have to take a shit, having you help me to the bathroom in a hurry it’s…hard. It makes me feel helpless.” He shook his head. “I have cancer, Justin. I’m always going to be tired and I’m always going to feel bad. I didn’t mean to worry you. I’ll be okay.” His hands trembled and he squeezed his eyes tightly for a second.

His dad had never been good at accepting help. He’d never been good at vulnerability, and now he didn’t have a choice. Justin knew how much the man hated that. He couldn’t imagine dealing with the things his father did. It was hard enough on his side, hard enough to see. How would he handle it if he was the one who couldn’t do these things on his own? Justin wouldn’t want to talk about it either.

“You have cancer? Holy shit. I didn’t know. That explains a lot.” It wasn’t something to joke about. He wanted to tell his dad it would be okay. That he would beat his disease, but they both knew that wasn’t likely. But like Justin hoped he would, his father laughed.

Before he had the chance to say anything else, there was a knock at the door. Justin stood to get it, but as he began walking away, his dad reached for him and grabbed his hand. “Thank you, son. I don’t know that I’ve thanked you for all that you’ve done for me.”

Justin opened his mouth, but the words were lodged in his throat. His dad’s thanks played through his head. As much as he hated it, he’d needed to hear those words. Needed to know he still held his place in the man’s life. “It’s—”

Knock, knock, knock.

“Come in!” His dad’s rough, sickly voice called, taking away Justin’s chance to say anything back.

Joy came in and he saw his dad’s eyes light up at the sight of her. He let go of Justin’s hand, as she kneeled on the other side of the wheelchair. “How are you doing today, Larry?” she asked.

“Good,” he told her. “Thank you for coming.”

And for no damn reason, Justin knew he had to get the fuck out of the house before he lost his mind.

Justin’s head wasn’t in the game all night at work. He had no real reason to be a mess. Well, no reason besides the same ones he had every day, but the longer he spent taking orders and carrying trays of food back and forth, the more on edge he felt. He’d spilled two drinks and gotten an order wrong.

There was a strong possibility he’d also bitten a few heads off with snappish replies.

But he’d made it. It was the end of the night, and he was getting ready to leave when Nick approached him. He nodded toward a table next to them and asked, “Got a minute?”

He tried not to curse out loud. For all he knew, someone had complained about him and they probably had every right to. Justin knew he’d been a bear all night, and not the sexy, leather kind. It was more of the
I’m-a-dickhead-so-stay-out-of-my-way
variety. He owed Nick better than this. The man had given him a job, and Justin took that seriously. He prided himself on good work.

He pulled out a chair and sat. The second Nick sat across from him, Justin said, “Listen, I’m sorry about tonight. My head’s a mess right now, but that’s no excuse. I apologize if anyone complained and I promise you, it won’t happen again.”

Nick frowned, little wrinkles forming beside his mouth. “I was just going to ask you if everything is okay. No one said a word, but I could tell you’re having a rough night. Is there anything I can do?”

Jesus, he appreciated that. Nick was a good man. Justin didn’t know him well, but that was obvious. It made him feel even shittier about doing a bad job tonight. “No, thank you. You’ve already been incredibly kind. I appreciate you giving me a shot. I’ll make sure my moods don’t show while I’m here.”

Nick leaned back in the chair, and looked at him. There was understanding in his eyes, mixed with what looked like sadness. “Make sure you take care of yourself. That’s the most important thing. I know it’s easy to abandon what you need for others, but taking care of yourself has to be a priority and…” Nick cleared his throat, before he continued. “I lost my father some years back. We don’t know one another well, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m around. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. Bryce and I will both do whatever we can to help.” Nick’s face lit up at the mention of his partner’s name. Justin could see how much they meant to each other. He’d seen it the night of his dad’s party and he saw it again now.

“Thanks, man. The two of you…I can see how happy you are together, and by the sound of it, you’re both good guys.” It was partially said to change the subject, but also because his words were true. He was glad Landon had friends like them. It was important to him to know that his brother was surrounded by kind people.

“Thank you. He’s a crazy son of a bitch. You’ll see when you get to know him better. Sometimes I think I want to strangle him but I don’t know what I’d do without him. He makes me look at the world differently. Makes me smile when I don’t feel like smiling. Takes a special person to do that.”

Briefly, he wondered if his dad had ever felt that way about his mom. Hell, if she felt that way about him. He didn’t think so, and that hurt. There was something between Joy and his father that he’d never seen in his own parents. “I have a feeling he’d say the same thing about you,” Justin told Nick. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Bryce felt just as strongly about Nick as Nick felt about Bryce. It was the same way between Landon and Rod.

Nick chuckled. “Probably. He’d likely say a whole lot of things, half of which would embarrass the hell out of me. I was going through a pretty big life change when I met him. We started out as friends, just spending time together and talking to each other. The more I was with him, the more time I
wanted
to spend with him. Before I knew it, I realized I looked forward to talking to him more than I ever had anyone else. And the rest is, as they say, history.”

He knew the only reason Nick was likely saying all of this to him was to distract him. To try and take his mind off of things and Justin appreciated it. But as much as he appreciated the effort, he still couldn’t shut his brain down. He couldn’t stop himself from seeing his dad in his wheelchair or overthinking Joy and Landon and Shanen—his father’s family. “Sounds like fate did some intervening there.” He wasn’t sure he believed in fate, but it sounded nice.

***

Drew sat in his office taking care of paperwork. It was late. The gym had closed a while ago. Everyone long gone except him and too much shit to do.

He was beat.

Drew pushed back from the desk, dropped his head back and groaned. He wanted to go home. Go to bed. Wave a fucking magic wand and make all this stuff he had to do go away.

He startled when his cell vibrated against his desk. Okay, so that didn’t typically startle him. He definitely needed some rest. Drew fumbled to pick the phone up, because people didn’t usually text him this late.

He was surprised to see Justin’s name on the screen. He punched the button so Justin’s text popped up.

I didn’t pay close enough attention to the hours of operation. Guess it’s a good thing for me you’re a workaholic? Standing outside. I probably look like I’m casing the place to break in. Come save me. Getting arrested is the last thing I need.

A laugh tumbled out of his mouth as Drew pushed to his feet. He grabbed the keys off his desk and then made his way to the front door. Sure enough, Justin stood on the other side of the glass. He had a gym bag in his right hand and looked to be wearing his uniform from the restaurant.

He ran his left hand through his short, brown hair and the second their eyes made contact, Justin shrugged as if to say sorry…or maybe that he didn’t know what he was doing here, which made Drew a little sad. He wanted Justin to know he could come to Drew. They were friends, but he also wanted Justin to have more than just him. To feel comfortable in his own family. Drew knew what it was like to feel different than your closest relatives, but he never felt as though he didn’t have a place with them.

Drew gave him a small smile, turned off the alarm, and unlocked the door. His pulse sped up as he did it. There was excitement there, brewing beneath the surface, because damned if he didn’t enjoy spending time with Justin.

A few seconds later, he pulled the door open and Justin came inside. He smelled slightly of spaghetti sauce, and as Drew closed and locked the door,
he wondered if Justin served it tonight.

“I’m sorry,” Justin said before he had the chance to speak. “I know this is odd. I shouldn’t be here. It’s late, but I got off work and needed to burn off some energy. I drove by and saw that you were here, and now I am too.” He winked and gave Drew a sexy half-grin that got the attention of his cock. He was trying to be playful, which Drew liked about Justin. There were no two ways about it, he did it for Drew, but Jesus, was now the time to fuck around with each other? The answer to that was
no.

“If you are heading out, it’s fine. I just—”

“No,” Drew interrupted him. It didn’t matter that a few moments ago, he’d wanted nothing more than to go home. He was here and he’d stay here as long as Justin needed him to. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re welcome to stay. I have a mountain of shit to do, so unfortunately, I can’t join you, but it can’t hurt anything for you to get a workout in since I’m here. Exercise, shower, whatever you need. I’ll just be pulling my fucking hair out running numbers.”

“Don’t do that.” Justin nudged him with his arm. “It’s nice hair, even if you do cover it up with that fucking hat all the time.”

Drew adjusted the cap on his head. “I like hats. You don’t like my hat? I think I look sexy in it.”

“Cocky, cocky, cocky,” Justin admonished. “I’m giving you shit. It looks good on you. You’re the jock everyone wants to fuck.”

A shrill of excitement zipped through him. He hadn’t gotten to do nearly enough exploring and he wanted to do that with Justin. At the same time, the thought of being fucked left an uneasy feeling settling at the base of his spine. Not because he didn’t ever want that but because he sure as hell wasn’t ready for it yet.

They stood there for a second, looking at each other. Drew could see in the way Justin stood, the way his shoulders slumped slightly, the softness around his eyes, that he had a bad day. He wanted to ask him about it but didn’t know if he should. Did Justin wonder what Drew was thinking? Was he thinking about sex, or had it just been a passing joke?