The 2084 Precept (26 page)

I was feeling good again as I walked
underneath Piccadilly and I apologized profusely when, immersed in
Céline thoughts, I collided with a morose-looking guy reading his
newspaper at the tube entrance. Then it was right into Half Moon
Street, left into Curzon Street, right into South Audley Street and
along into the United Fasteners building. I took the elevator to
the third floor and went into the lobby area. Checked my watch, ten
to nine.

"Good morning, Peter." Susi was sitting
there looking as she always looked. Swish.

"Good morning, Susanne." I hadn't forgotten.
"And how was the weekend?"

"A bit boring actually," she replied. "But
presumably not for you?" That crooked smile, it really gets to you,
Céline or no Céline.

"No, Susanne…no, mine wasn't boring, thank
you. On the contrary, it was pretty fantastic."

"Yes, it looks like it, the way you're
smiling. Lots of nice walks with Mr. Brown?"

"Lots of fantastic walks with Mr. Brown,
Susanne. It would have been better having fantastic walks with a
Miss
Brown, though."

Her name was Susanne Brown and she killed me
again with another of her crooked smiles. "Perhaps," she said, "who
knows?"

Oh yes, the invitation was there, no
mistaking it. But I am not interested, and nothing is going to
happen even when I'm finished here. Sorry, Susanne, there is a girl
called Céline. Still, you never know what life's waves have in
store for you, do you? So for the moment I wasn't going to burn any
boats nor, indeed, any bridges…Susi would simply be added to my
blinking red lights list.

"Who knows?" I replied, looking straight
into her big, bright eyes, eyes you could easily drown in if you
wanted to and maybe even if you didn't. I applied the ambiguous
smile, the nice one, the one which denotes possible and perhaps
even probable interest in the female on the receiving end of it,
while at the same time letting her know that you were far too
civilized to attempt to force events. "Things sometimes happen when
you least expect them," I added.

"Or even when you
do
expect them,
Peter," she said and she was looking straight at me as well.
"Particularly if the time is right for both parties…like now for
example, Peter. Roger and Geoff are waiting for you in Roger's
office." Her wide crooked smile was also an ambiguous one, in fact
it's always ambiguous, she definitely belongs to the world's
population of man-eating plants.

I went through to Roger's office, knocked
and walked in.

"Good morning, Roger, Geoff."

"Hi Peter, good to see you again," said
Roger.

"Good morning, Peter, your usual pew," said
Geoff.

It was just the two of them. The office was
large, pleasantly and expensively furnished in mahogany, or what
looked and felt like mahogany, and with big windows looking down
onto South Audley Street. My usual pew was a leather chair in the
middle of a small meeting table and Roger sat at the end to my left
and Geoff sat facing me across the table.

"Coffee and drinks over there as usual
Peter, please just help yourself."

"Thanks, will do."

"Apologies about last week, Peter," said
Roger. "We're thinking of making a bid for a stud-welding equipment
manufacturer, automotive stuff that works off robot arms, and they
wanted to meet with me personally to talk about our offer price.
You know how these things are, they're only interested in their own
personal take. The price per share is of interest to them because
they're loaded up with stock options and they want agreements
concerning their payoff in the event they are terminated in the
short-term, guaranteed severance packages, pension guarantees and
so on. If not, they will reject our offer and we will have to
decide whether or not to make our bid a hostile one. Expensive and
unpleasant as you know, Peter. So…nothing new…happens all the time,
we live in a crooked world, do we not?"

He beamed at me, a 'we're all men of the
world' beam.

"We certainly do, Roger," I said, beaming
back. "We just have to go with the tide. No other way, as King
Canute discovered."

"Hah! King Canute! Yes, foolish fellow."

Roger was a short guy with thinning grey
hair, a stomach, a florid face, the capillaries in his nose and
cheeks betraying a life of too much good food and too much good
drink to go with it. Expensive shirts and expensive suits to
camouflage it all. What could not be camouflaged was the way he
walked, short steps, concentrating on keeping his balance…arteries
clogged up with a lifetime's collection of refuse, you can tell.
Thank you very much, shareholders, for allowing me all of this, and
thank you very much, members of the board, for approving it. But
whatever, he was a nice enough guy, an O.K. old school type, and he
was certainly intelligent, at least in some ways.

"So…where are we at? Are you more or less
finishing up now, Peter? I hope so, you're bloody expensive, what?"
Joke, another beam.

"More or less, Roger. One of the items still
pending is whether you agree with the zero dividends, zero bonuses,
salary and wage cuts and so on at Clark's. And if so, whether you
want me to work with Fred on how to go about it. The second item is
that I would like to cooperate on the purchase cost reduction
program, at least initially, get it running in the right way."

"Well, we've discussed the cuts. Frankly,
some were for and some were against. I am not sure what effects or
even consequences it might have, but overall I think we should
trust in your expertise and therefore I say go ahead. Just don't
cause any big screw-ups please." Another smile.

Geoff said, "And on the purchase cost
reduction program, I seem to recall that you said you were
envisaging several hundreds of thousands in annual savings. It
seems a lot to me. I don't know how you intend achieving it, but go
ahead, we'll be very interested in looking at the results."

Of course, he didn't know how I would be
achieving it. But I've already done my research on Clark’s purchase
pricing and the cost increases over the last few years, also on
alternative suppliers and, more importantly, the fact that the
purchasing department has never functioned as such. Never. It would
better be described as an ordering department, because that is all
they do. The phrase 'price negotiation' just wasn't in their
dictionary. Achieving the savings was absolutely no problem. It was
merely a question of how to go about it and I knew that too. It
wasn't the first time I'd done it and it wouldn't be the last.

"So how long do you think?" asked Roger.

"Only about a week's hard work for me,
Roger. After all, I'm only going to be involved in the planning and
initiation of these projects. However, it won't all be happening on
a day to day basis, so let's say two weeks in total. That means it
will cost you another two weeks' hotel expenses and so on, plus my
return travel. But, as I will not be appearing on the days when it
would be a waste of my time, you would only have to pay another
five or six days of consultancy fees. If you're happy with
that?"

"Sounds good to me," said Roger, "and you
look happy, Geoff, smiling away there, getting rid of Peter's costs
at last."

"I certainly am," said Geoff, "but the fact
is, Peter here provides a good return on his costs, now who would
have thought that?" A smile, a joke. "Fred and Charlie," he
continued, "have already indicated that Peter works very fast and
we have already seen some major improvements in the monthly
results, sustainable ones, I presume?" Chuckle, chuckle. "Perhaps,
Peter, you could summarize the situation for us?"

"Certainly, no problem. You have been
regularly updated on the changes we have implemented and/or
initiated and so I will just stick to the overall picture. As you
know, last year Clark's Adhesives made a loss of £3.2 million. Also
as you know, the losses have continued since I have been here, but
they have been substantially reduced. One of the main reasons for
this was what we did right at the beginning on the sales side. Now
we are close to breakeven, and we will generate sufficient profits
in the second half of the year to compensate for the losses to
date. In other words, by year-end, this year will have been a
breakeven year. No losses. A very big change."

No way was I going to tell them that this
was only possible because the company was so badly managed in the
first place. And that it was therefore easy for me. A kid could
have done it. Nor was I going to tell them that they themselves
should have done something about it, what else are group executives
paid all that money for? Let them think I'm a genius, that's fine
by me, they'll recommend me to others, it's how I get my
customers.

"A big change indeed," said Roger. "And if
it happens, you will have been cheap at the price, no arguing. But
how definite is it? I mean, I note that you say 'will' rather than
'could' or 'possibly'. Is it that definite?"

"Yes, Roger. You can trust me on that."

Sure he can, the changes have already
produced more than he thinks, I am in cahoots with Fred and
Charlie, we've been under-reporting for the last couple of months.
It's easy to do, increase some liability accruals here, increase
some inventory and accounts receivable provisions there, and so on.
Release them back bit by bit into profit as requirements dictate.
No legal issues, we are only talking about internal monthly
accounts. The full year's results are already more or less
guaranteed, no doubt about that.

"Well, very, very good to hear, Peter, that
is great, it certainly is," said Roger, beaming away like a ship's
beacon. "And what about next year?"

"As far as I can estimate at the current
point in time, next year will show a profit of over £2 million,
positive cash flow close to £3 million. That's because, on the one
hand, the profitability in the second half of this year is
sustainable and will continue on into next year, almost certainly
in fact improving further as we go along and, on the other hand, we
won't of course have to compensate for any first half losses as is
the case for this year."

In fact, they'll make over £3 million profit
next year and their cash flow will be about one million more than
that. Sales will be 30% more, a bit higher or a bit lower but
around that figure, expenses will be £1.5 million lower, raw
materials costs a few hundred thousand lower and production
efficiency will climb like never before. Easy. They can't go wrong.
But it's not something they need to know at the moment, always
understate your objectives, that's my motto.

And then came the question I was hoping for,
life is sometimes a beach.

"You mentioned last time we met," said
Geoff, "informally of course, that up to 50% more could possibly be
feasible. I didn't ask at the time, but what exactly did you mean,
Peter, by 'possibly'?"

"I meant possibly," I said with a grin. "I
believe, in fact, that the possible could become a probable…if I
were to continue to involve myself on an ad hoc basis, mainly from
a distance, email, telephone, with just the odd visit as needs
determine."

"And what kind of conditions would you have
in mind for that, Peter?"

"Well, how about this…zero cost, not even
expenses, if we don't make the £3 million."

"Well, we obviously wouldn't argue with
that," said Roger. "And if we do hit the £3 million?"

"I am of the opinion that 10% of the
difference would be fair. In other words, 10% of the extra million
or whatever the amount turns out to be. I hope you understand that
although my involvement would be limited, it would still result in
my having a heavy workload on top of other projects I will be
involved in. As a result it would cause disruptions to my private
life; in fact it would considerably damage my personal life for a
prolonged period, maybe for the whole year and a half."

"Hmm…but that's quite a lot of money for
what, in effect, will be very part-time involvement on your
part."

There was a pause. I let them chew it over
for a while. Little did they know that I might be getting 10% of a
much larger amount. And then I said, "I agree. Perhaps we should
just forget it. Fred and Charlie might achieve it without needing
any backup from me."

Hah, they would, but Roger and Geoff didn't
know that, any more than they knew that it was neither possible nor
probable but a virtual certainty, excluding the possibilities of a
world war or whatever.

"I guess I look at it this way," said Roger,
"it sounds like a fair deal. Unusual, certainly, but fair. You will
be earning money for achieving what at the moment is only a
possibility. And if you don't, we owe you nothing, not even if the
profit reaches £2.9 million. What do you think of this Geoff?"

Geoff didn't hesitate. "I don't need to
think much, Roger. We can't lose. And I don't mind the 10%. It
would mean a hundred thou’ or so for eighteen months' involvement.
However, this would obviously need to be based on the audited
accounts and any payment due would need to wait until then, as I'm
sure you agree Peter?"

"Obviously Geoff. No problem there." A
hundred thou’ or so, ha ha.

"O.K.," said Roger, "we'll have the lawyer
draw up the contract. Can we fix up for you to drop by on Friday of
next week, Peter? Say goodbye and all that, sign the new
contract?"

"Certainly," I said. "10 o'clock suit
you?"

"Yes, it does. I must admit, you know, that
you are an interesting type of consultant, Peter. We have no
regrets about having hired you. Quite the contrary. No wonder you
get recommended by your clients."

And then it was smiles all round, hands
shaken, and off I went. Susi was not at her desk. No matter, I'll
bring her some flowers and maybe a small gift next Friday. She's a
great female and a nice person on top of that. And because blinking
red lights are always good to have, you never know.