The 2084 Precept (36 page)

"O.K., Jeremy, here goes. Talking about
lawyers leads me on to the subject of politics again. This is
because the pin-striped clowns, to use another variation of my
friend's aphorism, are the so-called law makers. Needless to say,
the laws they create differ from country to country. And the job of
the lawyers and the judges in each country is to apply these laws,
or to try to. And so we have criminal lawyers, divorce lawyers,
property lawyers, tax lawyers, international lawyers and a whole
host of other kinds of lawyers. The lawmakers create thousands and
thousands of new laws, and in true clown fashion they make them
extremely complicated as well. Also in true clown fashion, they
continuously discover that a lot of their laws are bad or
inadequate and they are therefore constantly modifying untold
thousands of them. And as no-one can keep up to date with the vast
morass these clowns create and continue to create, flap, flap,
specialist lawyers exist who spend their lives trying to stay on
top of everything and unravel all of the non-stop modifications. No
ordinary person could do it."

"I have changed my mind, Peter. I don't
think we need to go into detail on this. What a huge waste of
potentially productive energy on your planet. I think just one
example would suffice, if you don’t mind."

"O.K. No problem. I’ll take tax law. It is
as good an example as any, and I’ll keep it very brief. Just to
remind you again, this is the human race we are talking about, so
the laws are different in every country. I'll just take one
country: the United States of America. Vast documentation is
required, 70,000 pages to be precise, merely to cover this single
branch of law. And because many of these tax laws are ridiculous or
unfair or both, or simply because some of their elected clowns
happen to disagree with what their predecessors had decided, flap,
flap, huge numbers of changes are made to these laws—a never-ending
state of affairs as I have already explained—in addition to the
never-ending creation of new laws. Non-stop.

This requires enormous quantities of
administrators, tax lawyers, judges, accountants and economists to
administer. Unproductive and very expensive labor for the sole
purpose of administering this swamp of complex stupidity created by
the birdbrains, flap, flap, whom the birdbrain masses have voted
into power in the first place."

"Yes, Peter, the level of intelligence of
your species is already clear to me from the way you slaughter
yourselves and everything else," said Jeremy. "And this example of
socio-economic activity merely confirms it. But hopefully at least
your intentions are good. I assume, for example, that the poor pay
less taxes than the rich?"

"I'm afraid not, Jeremy. The laws
themselves, assisted by the impossibly intricate quagmire of
birdbrain-created complications and exceptions, permit many very
rich people and many very large corporations to pay lower taxes
than the rest of us."

"So…not even that."

"No. Nothing equitable results. And of
course, as the clowns can never properly control their own
ludicrous inventions, there is a lot of corruption and fraud as
well, the human race—begging your pardon Jeremy—being as it
is."

"But couldn't you at least start to simplify
these laws?"

"No, Jeremy. I am afraid not. I hate to
repeat myself, but you have to try and remember that these are
human beings at work here, disagreeing with themselves on just
about everything, day and night, you name it. Arguing and arguing
their way through the eons of time until they self-destruct or
their solar system collapses."

"And this is just one of hundreds of
branches of law that you people need in order to exist as an
organized society?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't think I need to hear more
about your socio-political organizations, Peter. It would probably
take days. Months. Years. I think I prefer just to do the
additional research myself. Keep it to the salient points required
for my dissertation. But it
would
be helpful to me if you
could please just summarize your different
types
of
political organization…provide me with a brief overview."

"Certainly, Jeremy. None of them work of
course. As I have already mentioned, democracy doesn't work because
the majority of the citizens decides who is going to be given the
power, and the small intelligent minority is hopelessly
outnumbered. And, as I have pointed out, that same mix applies for
those who are elected. And so they spend most of their time arguing
with each other anyway. And in any case, it doesn't much matter
much who wins an election. They all promise a kind of Utopia,
better schools, full employment, no poverty, no national debt
increase and so on and so forth. But they never keep their
promises. Or what they implement never really works. Or it is
impossible to finance. And so the arguing continues. And then the
masses start complaining again. But they shouldn't. They should
keep their mouths shut, because
they
decided who they wanted
to run things. And for a cynical observer such as myself, that of
course is the big laugh. The masses actually believe they can
influence events on their planet, or in their own particular
section of the planet, by voting. But—needless to say—sooner or
later they become disillusioned and they vote a different person
into power the next time around. And with the same results as
before of course. Actually, Peter, the masses are not actually
allowed to vote for whomever they wish—they are
instructed
as to whom they may choose from. And finally, this system can be
fairly
undemocratic
. In the world's best known democracy,
the USA, a lot of political power has been in the hands of families
for decades. The Kennedy family, Bush father, Bush son, Mr.
Clinton, Mrs. Clinton. Families! And they call it democracy."

"This is what they call a democracy."

"Yes, and those are the facts, that is what
happens. And then we have tried alternatives to ‘democracy’.
Communism. Large parts of the planet operated under this system:
China, Russia, Soviet Union countries, Eastern Europe, parts of
Asia and lesser nations such as Cuba, Albania and North Korea. But
communism didn't work either. It only lasted about seventy years
although, to be faithful to the facts, some vestiges still remain.
Cuba and North Korea come to mind. China has abandoned communistic
economics but is still being run by a single communist party.
Communism operated by power, threat and fear and the masses were
imprisoned within their own countries and not allowed to travel
except—what else—for the élite and a few of favored comrades such
as outstanding musicians, athletes and other sports heroes. But
communism involved human beings and therefore was, and what remains
of it still is, plagued by corruption—just as in a democracy. And
also just as in a democracy, the rich and the powerful live in
luxury and the weak and the downtrodden live in poverty."

"Communism. I see."

"Yes. And then we have had dictatorship. We
have always had dictatorships, thousands of them. The Caesars, the
old European kings, the Napoleans, the Stalins, the Hitlers, the
Castros, the Ghadaffis, the Saddam Husseins and all the others. You
may not know of their deeds , but…"

"It doesn't matter, Peter," said Jeremy.
"Everything is recorded and I shall do as I always do, acquaint
myself with them as part of my research."

"Good. And we still have dictators today,
and bloody rebellions and revolts have been taking place in certain
central African countries and in others such as Libya, Egypt,
Syria, Yemen and so forth. With results similar to that Middle Ages
story I told you about."

"Bloody revolutions, ongoing? Surprise,
surprise."

"Quite so. Well, dictatorships don't work
either because we are incapable as a species of ensuring that a
dictator is one of the minority, namely one of the 'intelligent'
humans. I use
my
definition of intelligence here, which is
not necessarily the one generally understood by the human masses.
The masses might say, 'but what if he is an intelligent dictator
but an evil one or a corrupt one?' Failing completely to understand
that real intelligence automatically embodies benevolence and
incorruptibility, among other things. But as I have said, the 10%
minority has no chance on this planet and dictatorship is
consequently an unworkable system for us as well."

"So…," said Jeremy, "what political system
does
work? Or
could
work?"

"I don't know," I replied. "And I have no
opinion to offer either."

"But you do have an opinion? If so, I would
be very grateful to hear it. The theories and conclusions in my
dissertation are going to be difficult enough to formulate, as it
is. Your view would be something for me to consider."

Theories, conclusions, dissertations,
fantasies, far-away planets. It was all becoming a bit wearying. If
it weren't for the fact that this sick, deluded guy had a lot of
money and I would hopefully soon be receiving some of it, or some
more of it I should say, then I think I would have been resigning
at just about this point.

"Right you are," I said. "I have a view and
here it is. No system can work. You couldn't invent one if you
tried. Nothing can ever really work for a species of animal such as
ours. There is nothing that is feasible. Certainly, we have a
sprinkling of beliefs in a variety of 'gods' and these serve as a
kind of preventive anaesthetic. But the only thing that these
various sects and religions do is argue among themselves as well.
Just like the rest of us. And so we'll just have to carry on like
that until we blow ourselves apart. There is no system, Jeremy.
Permanent strife is the only system."

"Hmm…I appreciate your giving me your view,
Peter. I do not, at this point, know whether I share that view. But
my dissertation most definitely needs to end up with an opinion,
and the input from you in your dual role as both evaluator and
evaluated is of importance to me."

"And now," he continued, "how about a short
break? A cigarette break for you, I should imagine." And he smiled
his moon-shaped smile, tugged at his short blond hair and added,
"and to avoid us sitting here for a few more days, do you think you
could select, let us say, just two more important themes on this
social and organizational subject please? That should be sufficient
for me to complete an overview on which to direct my research in
this area."

"No problem," I said. "I'll be back in ten
minutes." And I went down to the lobby and out into Piccadilly and
I lit up a cigarette and I inhaled deeply. For a guy like me who
doesn't care, who just accepts the status quo and gets on with it
in his own way, these meetings were decidedly onerous. But let's
face it, it was still an easy way to be earning a lot of money, so
I wasn't arguing. I checked the street. I checked the passers-by.
Nobody had the slightest interest in me as far as I could tell. I
thought about which two remaining subjects I should choose for
Jeremy and smoked another cigarette. I went back inside, visited
the luxurious loo and continued on back to the conference room.

* * * * *

There was fresh coffee on the table and some
good-looking cakes and I took some of both. Jeremy had been
standing looking out of the window and he came back and took his
seat at the table again. "Thought about the two subjects?" he
asked.

"Yes," I said. "I think gender relations are
an important component of our social organization. And
economics."

"Sounds logical to me," he said. And he
leaned back in his chair and waited for me to start.

Which, after finishing a mouthful of cake, I
did.

"You are presumably aware of the biological
differences between men and women and I will therefore exclude all
sex and reproductive activities from my comments. Suffice it to say
that in our species men are stronger than women and are therefore
dominant in the natural way of things. However, our species never
allows nature to remain as it is. We always want to change
everything, pervert it if you like. Give us the most beautiful
planet in the universe with wonderful forests and flowers and
meadows, and we will not be satisfied. It doesn't matter which
planet it is. No sir. The first thing we would do would be to start
chopping it up and changing it. We would start making 'gardens'. We
would destroy most of the forests. We would cover vast swathes of
the planet with concrete. We would create huge mining operations to
dig its guts out. And we would not stop."

"I thought you were going to talk about
genders."

"Yes, well…we are not satisfied with nature
in that respect either. And so we are changing this as well. Men
and women are not only physically different but also mentally
different. Their brains are different and are of a different size.
Many women will automatically lock onto such a statement and accuse
one of having used the word 'inferior' instead of 'different'.
Untrue and of course it's not worth wasting time discussing such
ludicrous misinterpretations. There are facts and that is the end
of it. For example, we will never have a female overall chess
champion of the world. As in physical sports, chess has to be
separated into male and female championships. Darts also. Snooker
also. There has never been a female Formula I champion—in fact,
unless I am not mistaken, not even a female Formula I driver. The
reflex speeds and the abilities to judge distances and velocities
are different. Possibly also the aggressiveness ratios are
different, I don't know."

I drank some more coffee, thought it
over.

"I think the best way to explain the
differences to you would be for me to start off by explaining that
everything a woman touches and uses in this world, absolutely
everything, has been envisaged, designed and manufactured by men.
There may be the odd exception but I can't think of any at the
moment. In other words, the cutlery at the table, the table itself,
the chairs, the bathroom, the bed, the lamps, the food, the coffee
machine, the house she lives in, the electricity supply, the water
supply, the sewage system, the heating system, the heating oil and
the gas supply, the trash cans and the trucks which empty them, her
gardening equipment, the bicycle she uses, the car she drives, the
roads she drives it on, the trains she rides on, the planes she
flies in, the ships and the ferries and the yachts she sails on,
the office she sits in if she works, her office pens and pencils,
the tennis courts if she plays tennis, the tennis racquets and the
tennis balls, the swimming pools if she swims, the exercise
machines if she exercises, the sports arenas if she plays sports,
the sports equipment itself, the baby carriage if she has a child
or children, the children's nappies, the hospital where she had her
children, the hospital equipment, her shoes, her hairdryer, her
mobile phone, her computer, her television, and so on and so on and
so on."