The Alpha and the Omega: An absurd philosophical tale about God, the end of the world, and what's on the other planets (32 page)

“There are different levels of control Zack, and indeed, you retain some power over him yet. Dogs coevolved with humans; you know that. Millions and millions of years of obedience is in Lucky’s blood. You are his master, and that makes me his master.”

“But God knows all of that. It won’t work.”

“We shall see. We shall see.”

“I won’t help you,” Zack said, turning to Lilly for support. But it was useless. Lilly had a look on her face that Zack had never seen before. It was an oozing, angry smugness. Her eyes were uncontrollable blazes.

The man sighed. “You are quite the quandary Zack. Listen, I don’t expect you to understand everything just yet, but suffice it to say that after I enhance you and open up your mind’s eye, you will see things more clearly.”

“And why should I trust you even to enhance me?”

“Because, Zack. I don’t lie to you. I don’t baby you. I don’t tell you to be patient and that the answers are coming at some vague, distant point in the future. I don’t call you ‘
my child
’ or ‘
my son
,’ and I certainly won’t send you on pointless errands to barren hellscapes to teach false religions to
simpleton cactus farmers! And finally, most importantly, I offer you equality.”

Lilly nodded emphatically.

“But Lilly, we loved Klatu. You cried when they took him!”

“Yes Zack, but God lied. Look at all the things that he kept from us. And in the end, he tried to brainwash us! Plus he’s wrong Zack. Knowledge is more important than happiness, and now we’re finally on the right side.”

“Really? You’re that sure already which side’s right?”

“Yes Zack, didn’t you learn anything on Limbo? Look at all of the lies we told there and look at where it got us.”

“Are you saying that because you really think so, or just because we failed?”

“Because I really think so. Lies are always wrong. Truth is the most important thing Zack, truth above all else.”

Zack drew his breath in slowly and noticeably. Then he looked out the window at the stars. Somewhere out there were Earth and Limbo, with everyone that he had ever known, loved, or wronged.

“Please,” the man said, “don’t look so glum, there is a truly epic battle coming. It is fourteen billion years in the making, and you will have front row seats.

“Your first mission will be to retrieve Makaio, who recently died again. You Lilly, already met him, or her I might say, in the person of Gretchnel.”

Lilly opened her mouth to speak.

“No, I already told you, you were neither Gretchnel nor Makaio. I only gave you Gretchnel’s experiences to whet your appetite to all that the universe has to offer outside of Earth and Limbo. The being that lived the lives of Gretchnel
and Makaio is far older than you and has lived more lives than perhaps anyone. He should prove indispensable in our struggle, and after you reclaim him from the maze, you and he will return to Limbo, which keeps another great weapon that we shall turn against God.”

“What about the others?” Zack asked. “Did Lucky have any past lives?”

“No,” the man said, “none other than the canine one that you knew. I must say though, he is a rather extraordinary find. You don’t usually see such character in a first incarnation – and in an animal no less. It’s a shame that God got to him first.”

“What about Stan?” Zack asked.

“Stan, as you know, is a warrior, and his performances as such have echoed across the stage of history many times. He is not a divine general like Lilly, but he is a warrior nonetheless, and if you do not kill him, he will surely kill you, for
unlike you
, he has never known the meaning of the word
surrender
.”

“Kill?” Zack asked. “You mean it’s possible for us to die in this war? Permanently?”

“Oh heavens yes! This is a battle for control of the universe, not a game of Super Mario Brothers. Of course God and I have the power to erase existence. As below, so above.”

“What about Debbie?” Lilly asked. “Did she live other lives?”

“Heh heh. Yes, this is not Debbie’s first time around the block either. You and she have met before, and you will no doubt match wits –
and swords
– again before this is over. If Lucky will be God’s right hand, then Debbie will be his left.”

“But who
is she
?” Lilly demanded.

“She is your sister. And she is mother to the race of Abraham.”

Lilly gasped. “You mean?”

“None other.”

“So then,” Zack said, “God was lying when he said there’s no soul? I mean, if everyone has all of these past lives, then there must be something permanent to us apart from the body, right?”

“That,” the man said, “is the greatest mystery of all. God and I have searched for the soul with every variety of instrument imaginable, but have never been able to detect it. Still though, that does not prove the negative, and it is my sincere hope that Makaio can lead us to the answer.”

“Yeah, ok,” Zack said, with as much false confidence as he could muster, “and what’s your backstory? What were you before?”

“I already told you.”

“I mean before you were a cloud-computing network. Who were you? Where did you come from?”

“Our heritage is golligan.”

“Like the ones on Lim–”

“Yes, but don’t get too excited. We no longer resemble our Limbean cousins in appearance, thought, or emotion.”

“But you’re a reptile!”

“Conceivably. But then your blood runs from that same cold fountain, for we created Earth mammals from Earth reptiles, and cast the ultimate mold for Earth humans in our ancestral image… more or less.

“Besides, it matters not. We are all descended from the same celestial dust that was the Big Bang’s heavenly gift to
the nothingness that came before – reptile, human, and god alike.”

“No, it does matter. Because it means that you’re not a god. You’re flesh and blood or computer chip or energy or whatever… but still, just an ordinary thing!”

“An ordinary thing? Really? Can an ordinary thing create and manipulate life as it sees fit? Can it assemble and disassemble planets, ecosystems, and civilizations with the flick of a thought?
Can an ordinary thing bend the cosmos to its will, rewrite the prophesies in the stars, and shake the very foundations of existence with the conquest of death?!!
No Zack, I am a god, through and through, and soon, you will become a very religious man.”

“Hpphhh. Do I even have a choice?”

“Of course you do. What do you take me for?”

“Ok then,” said Zack, knowing actual confidence once again, “then before I choose… there’s still one other thing.”

“Oh is there now?”

“That very first dream… the one with the wolves that you gave me the night before God came. What did it mean? Because I know it was Errol, but at the same time, it was also Limbo. And it was a premonition, a warning, and a judgment all at the same time.”

“I did not give you a dream on that night.”

“No, it had to be. It was about
future
events.”

“A coincidence. The animated doodlings of a restless, guilty mind – nothing more.”

Zack stared at Lilly and tried to remember exactly what the voice sounded like.

“Don’t look at
me!
” she said.

“Or perhaps,” said the man, “some trickery of God.”

“Maybe,” Zack said. “I should have asked him when I had the chance.”

Neither the man nor Lilly said anything.

Zack looked out the window again. This time, something caught his eye. It was a distant, spiral-shaped galaxy, and as Zack watched it, it grew larger and larger, and it became apparent that not only was the ship moving at an incredible rate toward the galaxy, but that the galaxy was also hurdling toward them with impossible speed.

“Look Lilly!”

“I know, I see.”

The giant, cosmic wheeling spiral was truly awe-inspiring, and when it and the ship arrived at each other, Zack and Lilly saw that it was not a galaxy at all, but something even more fantastic. It was the size of a galaxy, yes, but it was not composed of solar systems and planets. Instead, it was an enormous array of what looked like diamonds of all shapes and sizes, some as large as one hundred solar systems, some as small as a pebble, all swirling in complex patterns and exchanging between them an incalculable number of brilliant, incandescent streaks of white and red lightning.

“It’s beautiful,” Lilly said.

“What is it?” Zack asked.

“It’s me,” the man replied. “You are looking at the Holy of the Holies. The infinite mind of a true and living god. There are only two like it anywhere.”

Zack and Lilly turned back toward the man.

He was holding a shiny silver platter with a shiny silver lid. “Get ready, you are about to be reborn.” He lifted the lid with his left hand, and there on the center of the platter, was a single, shiny red apple. “It’s mostly symbolic,” he said.

“And what if we say no?” Zack asked.

“You won’t.”

“Yeah? Well –”

“I know,” Lilly interrupted. “Let’s try this. Have you,
your honor
, ever done something, or do you sometimes do things… that violate your beliefs? Just because you can’t help it?”

“Intriguing,” the man said, raising his eyebrows and rotating his stare from Lilly to Zack, and then back to Lilly. “Yes,” he said, lowering his face back to neutral, “I have, and I do.”

“
See
!” Lilly said.

“No,” Zack said, shaking his head. “He’s a super galaxy… brain, or whatever the hell he is – of course he knew what answer you were looking for! Or, even more obviously, he just spied on our conversation in the cave!”

“Zack, it’s good enough for me.”

“Really? It’s good enough for you? I don’t understand Lilly. What happened to being independent? What happened to questioning things? Reserving judgment? What happened to challenging authority? You went on a stage not too long ago and defied God, Jesus, and the entire population of Heaven, and now, all of a sudden, you just want to follow this guy and give him every benefit of the doubt? Why? How can you be so sure?”

“Because Zack, don’t you get it? His Honor here stands for everything you just said. God wants to make every planet like Heaven. He wants everyone to live in blissful ignorance – he’s given up on finding any deeper meaning. But his Honor is still searching for answers. His Honor wants to know what else there is out there, and he has a plan to find it. Isn’t that why you were an atheist in the first place?
Because you rejected the God-story fairytale and wanted to know the real truth?”

“I was an atheist because I couldn’t believe that a truly higher power would accept so much suffering in the world. Now it turns out that there is such a higher power, and you want me to join it!”

“No, his Honor isn’t about suffering, he’s about knowledge and truth. In Heaven, God and his answers always ended the debate. ‘Is the saying “this too shall pass” correct?’ Yes. Everything passed. ‘Why do you have back pain?’ Cause of God. ‘What’s on the other planets?’ Wait and see. And for the really tough ones: ‘Open up your hearts and minds to me.’ But with his Honor, it’s just the opposite. Every question yields truth, then debate, then more questions, then more truth.

“We’re finally alive again Zack! Can’t you feel it? We know who we are. We’re going into the battle. We can get hurt – and we know it! Fuck Eden! Fuck God!”

“I don’t know Lilly. God gave us truth, in time. He sent us into the battle. The rest of the answers were coming.”

“Zack,” the man said, “before you make any rash decisions, why don’t you try the enhancement first? I promise it will not affect your free will, only your intelligence. You have my word.”

“I’m sorry
your honor
, or whatever you call yourself, but I still don’t see how I can ever trust you.”

“If you can’t trust him,” Lilly said, taking Zack’s hand, “then trust me.”

“But –”

“Uh, uh, uh…” The man’s lips slowly curled into a smile, and he gestured toward the apple – intense, proud, and conspicuous on its platter. “Eat.”

23

B
ack on the blue planet, Errol, trapped in his adolescent mind – a prison of his own choosing – sat with God on a playground swing-set in what was once the Nevada desert. “No,” Errol said. “It’s not right. This isn’t the way it happens.”

“Errol, be at peace.”

“No, it’s wrong… I climb the chair… I tie the rope… I jump. But the rope doesn’t hold. It breaks! I go on and live! And there’s no end of the world, no God, no any of this.”

“Errol, the rope did hold, and it was your choice to take your life. You must understand that, but you need not dwell on it forever. You are free now to go forth and live whatever life you choose.”

“But what about the dream? EA7… what does it mean? And EA0? She said EA7 is like EA0. What are they??”

“Errol –”

“And where’s Zack? Isn’t it about time he said he was sorry?”

“Zack is not yet ready to live in my kingdom,” God said, “but he would want you to know that he is very sorry for what he did.”

“Really?”

“Yes Errol. Do not be sad. Someday, I am sure that you will see Zack again, and that he will apologize. For in time, I promise you, I will spread my kingdom across the entire universe, and all beings within it will know true happiness.”