The Alpha's Concubine (Historical Shifter Romance) (60 page)

Some evenings, the alpha called Netya to his fire, but they did not make love as they once had. He lay with her, drawing her close into his embrace, holding her body near his until he slept. As was always the way with Khelt, he spoke little of his inner thoughts. Netya wondered sometimes if he felt able to share his worries without words. That simply being close to her was his way of unburdening his mind, knowing that, if he were to speak, she would be there to listen to him.

It was comforting in its own way, and sleep always found Netya soon after Khelt's arms had enveloped her. She felt safe and protected by his presence, but it still lacked something. As they walked during the day, she would catch her eyes following after Caspian's wolf as he strode at the side of the group. More often than not, she caught him watching her, too. It would have been easy for him to slip to the back of the group, or head out with the others to hunt, but he never let her out of his sight for more than a moment. He was a distant guardian, always watchful, always protective. If he could not be with her, he could at least ensure her safety, and her happiness.

Netya was always glad to see him nearby, and yet she wished it was not so. It brought as much pain as it did comfort to see him there, his wolf's solemn eyes staring ahead with determination.

Forget me,
she thought.
Let me see you with another girl at your fire tonight. I cannot bear another day of this.

But bear the days she did, as difficult as they were. Night after night, Caspian haunted her thoughts. At the end of each day her feet ached, and so did her heart. It was endless, the plains stretching for mile after mile until the land and the colours she knew were lost behind her. Lush grass gave way to scrubby brown tufts of weed. Trees were replaced with rocks, and the fresh water from the tributaries of the great river ran dry, leaving them only with brackish dribbles of rain to fill their waterskins.

Clouds rolled in from the west, covering the land between them and the looming mountains in a shadow that brought with it the chill of fall. Netya was tired, ragged. The pendant around her neck felt heavy. Her wolf pelt sagged across her shoulders like loose skin on old bones. The journey was taking more from her than she knew, and its end seemed no closer in sight.

"Rest for a day," Adel said as they huddled together beneath a temporary lean-to made from the remnants of one of the tents. She took her apprentice's chin in her hand, examining her with a look of concern. "You have not been eating properly. Are you still taking the burnt leaf herbs?"

Netya shook her head. "Khelt has not lain with me in that way since we left."

"That is for the best. It is not always healthy to take any medicine for too long."

A slightly sickly feeling came to Netya's stomach as she listened to the patter of rain above their heads. "My monthly bleeding became less painful when I started taking them, but these past weeks it has not come at all."

Adel's look of concern grew. "And you have not shown any other signs that you are with child?"

"No." Netya knew from her training that her symptoms were not healthy.

"You must try to rest," Adel said. "A woman your age should not be suffering such illness. Do not take those herbs again until you have recovered."

"I will rest once we have crossed the mountains. It cannot be more than a few days now." She gave her mentor an apologetic look. "Khelt needs me. I help keep him strong."

"You give too much of yourself to him. He is not the one you should be with."

Netya shrugged. "You must have considered abandoning him too after you were sent to be his den mother. Why did you not?"

Adel said nothing.

Netya took the older woman's hand and kissed it. "It is for the same reason that I must be with Khelt now. I still care for those who cast me out, and for those who took me in. I would give my own happiness to keep them from fighting."

"It was wise of me to choose you as my apprentice," Adel said, brushing back Netya's damp hair from her forehead. "You have grown to embrace all the potential I saw in you. I only wish fate could have put it to kinder use."

"My fate is far less painful than yours was. I will endure, and I will find happiness in it eventually."

"I will not forgive that man for what he has done to you—"

Netya put a hand to the den mother's lips, quietening her. "Spare no more of your hate on him, and I promise I will rest today."

Adel scowled, but she did not mention Khelt's name again. Netya slept, dozing on the back of Fern's wolf in the morning, and Nathar's in the afternoon. She did not feel much like eating, but she made herself fill her belly with dried meat and her daily ration of nut meal, for Adel's sake.

When the next morning dawned, some of the aches and strains of her body had eased. The walk was not as tiring, but the day was as long as ever. Her eyes still sought out Caspian in their idle moments. The travelling felt like it would never end, and so did the weight on her chest. Long miles of walking had strengthened her muscles, and yet she had never felt weaker. The mountains reached up to swallow the sky in front of them, white snow painting their peaks and valleys as they became lost in the clouds.

If an ending lay somewhere beyond them, it still seemed out of her reach.

—
45—

Netya's Challenge

At the foot of the mountains, Khelt finally called a halt to their journey. The drizzling rain had abated, and in the shelter of the boulders littering the low slopes they made camp for the first time in many days. It was only to be a brief respite, but it was a welcome one. The hunters needed time to scout out a safe passage through the peaks and valleys that lay before them, and it would do no good to lead the vulnerable pack across such treacherous terrain unprepared.

Fires were built, tents were set back up, and those who were able went out to forage and hunt. Netya counted herself among them, though her body told her otherwise. She had not been sleeping well, even when Khelt was there to embrace her. Any time she was alone with her thoughts she could not help but think to the future, and all the trials that awaited her. In the past, such thoughts had been few and far between. Any events more than a few days distant had seemed a lifetime away for the girl she had once been. If only she could go back to that simpler state of being.

She set out with the other seers to forage, ignoring the trembling pains of her body as she searched. If she had learned anything from the ordeal of being hunted down across the plains, it was that she was capable of great endurance when she had a task to focus on. Collecting edible plants and roots held little urgency by comparison, but it was better than remaining in the camp by herself.

The sun peeked out through the patchy clouds as the day rolled by, and Netya became lost in her wanderings until she realised she was alone. She squinted back the way she had come, recognising none of the rocks and twisted trees she must have passed by just moments earlier. Rather than panic, her isolation filled her with relief. Perhaps a few hours away from the voices of the pack was what she needed. It had been a long time since she got the chance to venture out on her own, enjoying the simple beauty of the land for what it was.

The lower mountain slopes lacked the colours and softness of the meadows south of the outcrop, but there was a majesty to them all the same. The peaks above her loomed higher than anything she had ever seen, and she felt like a tiny insect before them.

The sound of approaching footfalls disturbed her, but her momentary disappointment at hearing them became something quite different when she turned to see Caspian approaching. She closed her eyes, facing back toward the mountain, and pulled her wolf pelt tighter about her shoulders. The wind tugged at her dark hair, pulling it across her face in wispy strands.

"It may be dangerous out here alone," he said.

"Yes, it may be." She expected he would have embraced her at that moment, had things been different. Yet only cold distance sat between them.

"You are thinking as I am, are you not?" Caspian said. "That it would be a merciful freedom to keep on walking, away from everything that troubles you, to find out what new adventures the world holds."

"It would be such a sad relief," she murmured. "To leave so much behind. We are not free to come and go like the birds."

"Not at a time like this, no. Next summer there will be a great gathering of the packs, far to the south of here. Perhaps there I will find another clan in need of my aid."

Netya turned around, forcing herself to look at him. The wind seemed to tug at him, calling him away, threatening to take him somewhere far beyond her reach.

"Do you really mean to leave?" she said.

"I cannot say. I try to give Khelt my counsel, but it is not as it once was. I try to think of the pack, but you are the one to whom my thoughts return. I cannot love them as I have loved you."

Netya closed her eyes again, tears falling from beneath her lashes. "There will be another pack, and another female to love. One of your own kind."

"I hope so too. And yet I cannot stand such a thought."

Netya fought the urge to run forward and embrace him. Desperate impulses flared to life in her head, only to burn out like dying embers moments later. What if they left together that very day? What if they abandoned everything they knew, living only for themselves from that moment on?

She could never betray the others in such a way, and neither could Caspian. Perhaps, if he left, she could once again remember the warmth she had shared with Khelt. She wanted to be happy again, and she wanted the same for Caspian.

"Perhaps you should go with the others to scout the mountain pass," she said, her throat feeling dry. "We might both feel better in being apart."

Caspian smiled, and shook his head. "I cannot. It would be wise, I know. When you slipped from my sight, I could not help but follow you out here. My wolf desires nothing more than to see you safe. If you cannot have my love, you will at least have my protection. Once the pack has settled again I will try and find my own way. But until then, I fear the will of my wolf is stronger than any good sense I may have."

Caspian's words endeared him to Netya so much that she almost forgot herself and embraced him anyway. He embodied the wolf within him like no other. For all of his intelligence and understanding, the pride of the male beast lingering beneath his skin ran as deep as instinct. The animal side of so many of the Moon People made them volatile and wild, but Caspian's spirit was that of the wolf revered by seers and shamans alike. The pure symbol of strength, loyalty, protection, and wisdom. Perhaps it was not the complexity of his character that had drawn her to him, but rather than simplicity of it. He was the majestic wolf of dreams and stories.

"If I return to the camp," Netya said, "will you assist the hunters with their scouting? Then neither of us need worry over the other."

"I shall try my best."

They walked together for a short while until the rest of the foragers were back in sight. No more words passed between them on the way, but it was a pleasant silence. Even in the worst of times, his company still made her happy. It was a happiness she would have to learn to give up.

Before the sight of them together could spark any more gossip, Caspian climbed back up the slope in the opposite direction.

"Goodbye," Netya called after him.

He turned, giving her a smile to warm the rest of her day. "Goodbye."

* * *

The Sun girl had brought a curse upon their pack. Vaya was convinced of it now. Netya had them all under her spell, the alpha, the den mother, even Caspian. Had she intended for this to happen all along? For them to be driven from their home and forced to wander like nomads, so that her people could claim the plains for themselves?

All of Vaya's life she had fought for the place she desired among her pack, and Netya had worked to uproot everything she held dear day by day, until now it was all but gone. She had watched the girl closely during their journey, waiting for her chance, but there was always someone between them. Caspian watched Netya all day long, Khelt took her to his fire by night, and when neither of them were present Fern or the den mother would always be nearby.

Cunning schemes had never been Vaya's strength. She regretted her decision to poison Adel. Just like every attempt she made to try and undo the Sun girl, it had managed to twist back against her. The den mother might have forbidden a challenge between the two of them, but she could not always be around to intercede. Vaya knew what she had to do if she wanted the pack rid of Netya. It was the last thing she
could
do.

To her luck, she found the Sun girl returning to the temporary camp alone. It was her only chance, and she seized it without hesitation.

"What do you want, Vaya?" Netya said as the huntress approached. She seemed weary, distracted, as though Vaya's very presence was almost beneath her notice. Everything about her was insulting.

"You know what I want," she shot back. "You may have little honour, but I would put it to the test anyway. I refuse to spend another day with you as part of my pack."

"Do you mean to kill me?"