The Alpha's Concubine (Historical Shifter Romance) (58 page)

"You may ask me, Wren."

The girl looked up at her with a hesitant smile, and Netya took the opportunity to draw her in with an arm around her waist. She had consoled her younger sisters in much the same way many times.

"It is not proper for children to request visions of the seers," Wren said.

"You will be beginning the path to womanhood soon. Perhaps it is fine for a girl who is not yet a woman to ask a woman who is not yet a seer?"

Wren looked down and bit her lip. "I just want to know if my parents have spoken to you from the spirit world. I want to know they are waiting for me there."

It was difficult for Netya to know what to say. Sadness and sympathy threatened to steal away the reassurance from her voice. She could give the girl none of the answers she desired. Hawk and Essie's spirits had never appeared to her in her dreams, and she had not ventured into the spirit world properly since her return. What could she tell Wren that would not leave her more upset than she already was? She struggled to remember anything from her dreams that might help, but every memory was vague and indistinct.

Just as she was about to break the sombre truth to Wren, an image sparked in her mind. It was a dream she'd had weeks ago, almost forgotten. It had not been about Hawk, Essie, or their daughter, but something made her recall it all the same. A child had been walking through the meadows, and with her there had been an older man and a woman. At the time she had thought the girl to be herself, but did it really matter who it was? She recalled what Adel had tried to teach her about the nature of visions. Perhaps the details were not as important as the ways in which they could help people.

"There was one vision," she began, picking her words carefully. She had not expected to impart the wisdom of the spirit world to anyone so early in her training. "I saw a girl with her parents. They were in a meadow together, and they seemed very happy. It was a good vision, filled with love."

Wren rubbed her eyes, then wrapped her arms around Netya and hugged her. "Tell them I miss them," she said, her voice quavering with emotion.

"The next time they appear in my visions," Netya replied, kissing the top of the girl's head. "I promise."

She did not know how to feel as Wren embraced her. Had it been right to tell her of the dream? The girl's gratitude spoke for itself, but it still left Netya uneasy. She felt she had dabbled in something that was beyond her understanding. Would the other seers approve?

When Wren let go of her and got up to leave, however, the smile on her face warmed Netya's soul.

Turning around, her heart leaped as she saw Adel standing a few paces away. The den mother had returned without her realising. A warm flush rose to her cheeks, expecting an angry reprimand at any moment. It did not come. Rather than judgement, Adel was looking on her with pride.

"You see?" the den mother said. "That is the power of hope you are able to give people like her."

"What if I was wrong?" Netya replied softly. "What if my vision was not meant for her?"

Adel shook her head. "If she was helped by it, then it was hers. It does not matter from where our visions are born, only what they can do to help those who need them most. Wren needed your vision, and she will sleep more soundly tonight because of it."

The approval of the den mother meant more to Netya than any instruction she had been given or any lesson she had learned. She knew that Adel cared for her, in her own way, but it was not through compliments and encouragement that she shared her affection. After months of curt, often harsh guidance, making her mentor proud left Netya with a greater sense of accomplishment than she had ever known. At last, she began to believe the path of the seer was one she truly belonged on.

"Thank you, Den Mother," she said.

Adel offered one of her rare smiles. "It is good to see my instruction finally taking root. But remember, your visions are not to be imparted lightly. You are still just an apprentice."

Netya nodded, but in truth she felt a new realisation creeping up on her. Just earlier that morning she had felt powerless to affect anything in the tumultuous pack. Perhaps she still was, but she had given Wren the reassurance she needed. If some people, even if they were only children, were willing to turn to her, perhaps others might be ready to listen to what she had to say as well.

Perhaps she was no longer as helpless as the timid young concubine who had been brought to the pack a year ago.

That evening she sat out on the plains with Caspian, the pair of them watching the sun go down as a light drizzle of warm rain pattered upon their shoulders. It was a pleasant sensation, but Netya could sense that her male's thoughts were elsewhere. He stared into the distance, saying little as the last light of day turned the clouds a coppery orange.

An unspoken question hung in the air, but Netya did not need to voice it before Caspian answered her.

"Khelt worries me," he said. "This could not have come at a worse time. He tries to hide it, but he still feels his loneliness as keenly as any man. He misses you dearly."

"He does not speak to me as he used to," Netya said. "I wish I could be with him in the way he desires, but not when my heart belongs to another."

"I have tried to talk to him as well. He dismisses it, says he does not care to let such things come between friends. He respects that you are with me, just as I did when our positions were reversed. And yet, he no longer listens to the advice I give him. His heart is still struggling with something that burdens it every day, and I do not know what I can do to help him."

"I know," Netya said, wishing she had the power to give both men what they longed for. "In time he will heal, will he not? There will be another female for him one day. One who can love him better than I am able."

"I would agree, but for the fires out on the plains," Caspian sighed. "Khelt must decide on one of the most important decisions he may ever make for his pack, and it will not wait for the pains of his heart to mend. I heard what happened with Adel this morning."

"Do you think it will be the same as before? The night your mother was lost?"

"I fear so, and I know Adel well enough to realise when she will not be swayed. I think I would caution Khelt to heed her advice, but agreeing with the den mother is too bitter a taste for him to swallow, especially now. If he was willing to listen to me, perhaps I could persuade him to see the wisdom of it."

"I do not want to see any more death either," Netya said, "but if Adel leaves, we cannot let Khelt stay to face my people alone. There must be something we can do to make them agree."

Caspian ran a hand across his face. "If there is, I cannot see it. Khelt is angry at many things he feels unable to change, so he will direct that anger at the one thing he can."

Netya stared at the sun as it dipped below the horizon. There was one thing she could do. One thing that would wrench her heart away from the place it belonged, perhaps never to return. She tried to forget it, but it burned in the back of her mind, filling her with guilt that only grew stronger the harder she pushed it away. If she had the chance to save lives, was it worth the price of her own happiness?

She thought of the selflessness Caspian had shown in putting his own feelings aside to let her be with Khelt, or how Adel had taken the burden of such dark magic upon herself when she helped Essie lose her child. Khelt, too, bore the weight of so many lives on his shoulders day after day. They were brave, noble people. Was she not one, too?

She tucked herself in close against Caspian's chest, coaxing him down atop her with gentle kisses. She wanted to savour the evening while it was still bright. They had not been together for long, yet already she could barely stand the thought of going a day without him. Knowing that he was here for her was like knowing she had a warm place to lay her head at the end of the day. He made the worries that troubled her at night seem small and pointless. Perhaps it was only in knowing his love that she felt able to do the thing that would wrest it away from her.

But not that night. That night she wanted to feel him with her again, remember what it was like to have her spirit mingle with his, become more than she had ever been without such a caring partner to satisfy her soul. His strong body enveloped her, drawing her close to the rhythm of his heart, taking away the need for fear. They made love with the warm rain glossing their skin, its gentle patter adding to the sensation of every moment.

She remembered that night, and the memory kept her strong.

"Will you not be persuaded?" she asked Adel the following day.

The den mother shook her head. "You know as well as I do that abandoning the outcrop is our best chance now. It is only through the good grace of the spirits that our tracks have remained hidden from the Sun People as long as they have."

"Many more may die if you leave and Khelt stays."

"Then he must leave as well. I will not resign myself to only half a tragedy when I have the chance to avert it fully."

Netya's heart sank, but Adel's answer was not an unexpected one. She was as stubborn as Khelt, and she truly believed that her solution was the only way. The den mother was not a woman of timid compromise.

"Then," Netya said, "if Khelt were to leave as well, would you be able to lead the pack to safety?"

"In a few weeks we could be beyond the mountains. Other packs stake their territory in those lands, but they would not trouble us during the winter."

"And if the Sun People have not left by the time spring arrives?"

"Then we travel north and make a new den. The land there may not be as kind to us as the plains, but it will suffice," Adel said. It seemed she had thought everything through. Her plan had not been decided on lightly.

"I will trust your wisdom, Den Mother," Netya said, "and if I can, I will leave with you when the time comes."

Adel's brow furrowed. "Do not be coy with me. What idea have you taken into your head?"

Netya explained the realisation that had come to her the night before. As she had expected, the den mother tried to persuade her away from it. It was a sacrifice she must have known all too well, and it only provoked her animosity toward Khelt further. But despite her objections, she could not dissuade Netya from her path. When she realised that her apprentice's mind was made up, it was with both sorrow and admiration that she embraced her.

"It should not be upon you to make this choice," Adel whispered into her ear.

"Perhaps it will all be for nothing," Netya replied. "Still, I must try."

She would have liked to stay with Adel longer, but she knew the strength of her will would not remain intact forever. She needed to act while she could, before thoughts of Caspian and her own happiness could get in the way.

Leaving the seers' cave, she made for the alpha's den, pausing for a moment outside the entrance. It had been weeks since she crept down the narrow passageway that opened up before her. It had always seemed so inviting then, holding such a sense of tempered excitement. Perhaps, all those weeks ago, the journey she was about to make would have seemed exciting still. It was not so bad a fate. More than she had any right to ask for, in fact. And yet, it was not the fate her heart desired.

Stepping into the darkness, she found her way to the heavy drape and pushed it aside. The subtle scent of Khelt reached her nostrils, and she tried to smile, remembering all the fond memories she associated with it. He had been good to her.

The alpha looked up with a glare as she walked in unannounced. He had been looking over the pieces of wood covered in Caspian's burned markings, lost in thought as he compared them.

"I did not send for you," he growled, but Netya glimpsed a trace of the welcoming look he saved only for his consort. Her arrival reminded him of the pleasant times they had shared together, too.

"Forgive me, Alpha," she said. "I must speak with you, if you will give me just a few moments."

Khelt worked his jaw back and forth. Had she been anyone else, her impropriety might have incurred a swift punishment. Finally, he nodded. "Say your piece, Netya."

"Many people will die if the pack stays to fight. There must be a better way."

"You mean Adel's way." He glared at her. "Did she send you here, to use your affection against me?"

"I came of my own accord. My words are my own, no one else's."

"Then they are well-meaning, but you are no leader, Netya. You can tell me nothing I have not considered already."

"I do not mean to," she said, taking a step closer. "I know how deeply you care for your pack. You are a warrior, but what of those who are not warriors? They are the ones who will suffer most."

"I will put my life before theirs. No more children will lose their mothers or fathers while I still draw breath."

Netya reached out a trembling hand, resting it on the alpha's shoulder. He blinked slowly, looking down at her wrist.

"And what of those who fear to lose you? What if you had a mate to care for?"

Khelt let out a long breath, his face creasing with strain. "You made your choice. If you had desired me as your mate, you would have let it be known long ago." His words were hard, but she could hear the hidden longing in them.