The Alpha's Concubine (Historical Shifter Romance) (59 page)

"Hearts are not simple," she whispered. "I care for you both. I will not be false—I would be sacrificing one happiness for another, no matter who I chose. But this choice, perhaps, will mean happiness for more than just myself."

"I cannot ask such a thing of you against your will."

Netya smiled, and she did not attempt to hide its bittersweetness. "I told you, I am here of my own accord. I may know little of leadership, but I can see where I am needed most. If you still desire me, I will be your mate."

Without looking at her, Khelt took Netya's hand and kissed it. He pressed his forehead against her fingers, squeezing them tight. She could almost feel the strain on his heart beginning to ebb.

"You know I desire nothing more," he said, "but the pack—"

"The alpha is part of the pack too, is he not? Does he not deserve his own happiness, rather than throwing down his life as if it were worth less than theirs?" She knelt down, seeing the turmoil in his expression, and put her arms around his neck.

"There is no honour in fleeing," he murmured.

"But there is safety. Safety with those who care for you. Is that not worth more than cold honour?"

"Women do not understand such things..."

"So you always say, and perhaps we do not." She caressed his chin, trying to make him look at her. "We feel what comes of it, though. Honour may have left the spirits of many men content while their women remain behind with nothing but their grief."

She sensed the alpha's resolve faltering. He had weathered a storm alone and isolated for weeks on end. Perhaps her words managed to reach him, or perhaps his need for someone to ease his burden was simply too great. He took her in his arms, and buried his face in her neck.

"I have missed you so dearly," he gasped, squeezing the breath from her lungs with his embrace. "Spirits curse me for my own selfish desires."

Netya closed her eyes, trying to let the relief of her decision warm her. Khelt's embrace hurt, but it was not the tightness around her body that brought her the most pain. Caspian would understand. She did what she did for the good of them all. Perhaps they could try again to push their feelings for one another aside. To let time wither them away until the ache of longing had been forgotten.

She did not believe her own reassurances this time. There would be no healing this loss to her heart. Even the fond memory of Khelt's closeness could not bring her to the same place of blissful abandon it once had. Only Caspian could do that now. Now, and never again.

—
44—

The Longest Journey

Netya walked out with the alpha that evening, his arm resting about her shoulders. He had sent word for the entire pack to assemble, and assemble they had. The central area was packed with many dozens of faces, young and old alike, and not a single pair of eyes failed to fall on her as she made her approach alongside Khelt. They could whisper their gossip about her if they wished. She doubted she would ever gain the acceptance she had once hoped for. There would always be those who blamed her for the events that had led to this, those who disapproved of her choices, or those who disliked her simply because she was different. She had been too strong a force of change in their pack to be accepted by everyone.

Looking over the crowd, there was only one face she sought out. Caspian was there, slightly apart from the rest of the group, perched near the front of the gathering on his favourite rock. He was one of the first to see her. In the moment their eyes locked, he seemed to realise. His gaze fell slightly. That it was such a tiny gesture made it hurt all the more. Only those paying close attention, only those who knew him well, would have noticed the way his lips tightened, his relaxed posture grew hard, and the calm sparkle in his eyes grew cold.

Of all the men in the pack, he was perhaps the best at keeping his emotions from clouding his vision. It was one of the things Netya had grown to love about him. The volatility of his spirit only ever came loose in moments of passion, or joy, or great determination. He knew better than to waste his energy on things that would only bring frustration and pain. But that was only the Caspian the world saw. Behind his veneer of confidence, she knew he felt things just as keenly as anyone else. Perhaps even more so.

Everything about him seemed to dull the moment he saw her with Khelt. Perhaps he had known, or at least suspected. Perhaps he had hoped for it not to come true. He swallowed, running the back of a clenched palm across his lips, then looked at her again. The corners of his eyes creased. She could feel him holding in check the same emotions that would have driven a lesser man to rage, or to tears. His silent acceptance left her only with sadness in her heart, so heavy it made her want to fall to her knees. He was not angry. He did not approve. He only understood. This was the way fate had fallen, and there was nothing they could do to change it now. For the sake of the others, they would suffer in silence. Together, and yet never so far apart.

"I have made a decision," Khelt said, the power of the alpha instilling his voice with authority. "It is not one I make lightly, but for the good of us all. I know if I took to the plains to face our enemy, I would do so with a score of brave warriors at my back. We would fight and die for our brothers and sisters, and with the grace of the spirits we might drive the Sun People from these lands once and for all."

A smattering of approval rumbled through the ranks of the hunters. Some of the younger men bared their teeth in aggression, fists clenched as they bobbed their heads in agreement with the alpha's words.

"The hunters of our pack have ever been fine warriors," Khelt continued, his tone becoming more subdued. "I count myself proudly among them. But, as alpha, I must not turn a blind eye to the rest of my clan." He took a deep breath, eyes flicking in Adel's direction for a moment. The den mother did not interrupt. "I have faith in our victory, but perhaps victory is not enough. What would we leave behind after buying such a triumph at the cost of our own lives? What victory could soothe the grief of a pack bereft of its fathers and sons?"

"I will not lose my life to the Sun People!" the young hunter Rolan called out. "What hope do they have against our warriors?"

"They may at this very moment be saying the same of us." Khelt silenced him with a hard look. "There is glory in battle, yes, but every wolf who has tasted it knows it never comes without a cost. The Sun People are great in number. If we fight them, many of us will die. No amount of courage will change that." He paused again, but no further interruptions came. "And the price of our deaths may be more than our pack can bear. Our enemy may be defeated, but what will we leave behind? How many years will it take for such wounds to heal?" He shook his head, drawing Netya a little closer. She reached up to clutch his hand. "We do not go to battle. The burden of our blood would be borne by our loved ones for years to come. Two days from now, we make for the mountains."

"Finally, he sees sense." Adel sighed with relief, pre-empting any objection that could be voiced by the outraged hunters. "My seers are already making preparations. We will leave this madness behind us."

"Do not think I make this decision for your sake, Den Mother," Khelt growled. "I do this only out of duty to my pack."

"Out of duty to your whore," Vaya's angry voice muttered from the sidelines. Had it not been for the silence of the others, her words might have gone unnoticed.

Khelt did not hesitate, nor did he waste a single reprimanding word on the huntress. Releasing his grip on Netya's shoulder, he was on Vaya in a flash, blood spattering from the woman's mouth as he struck her with a blow that sent her reeling to the ground.

Netya cried out, and Caspian rose to his feet in alarm. The group backed away from Vaya, leaving her grovelling before the alpha.

"Our pack's future is at stake," Khelt snarled, "and you snipe at your alpha like a bitter child?"

Vaya began to pick herself up, blood running from her lips as she glowered past him at Netya. "We are being driven from our home."

"Not forever," Adel said, directing an equally vicious look of her own at the alpha. "We will return once the Sun People have lost their taste for bloodshed."

"I will need the strength of every one of my hunters in the days to come," Khelt said, hauling Vaya up by her arm. He stared the huntress in the eye. "Do I have your loyalty, Vaya?"

She looked away, running her tongue over her split lip. A reluctant nod followed a moment later.

"Good. And I expect the same from all of you!" He turned back to the group. "Make your belongings ready for travel. Food, medicine, tools for making fire. Conceal the rest in the caves and block off the entrances. Hide all traces of our camp. Perhaps, with the grace of the spirits watching over this place, it will go unnoticed until our return."

Adel took the lead, ushering the hesitant group off to carry out the alpha's instructions. Within moments she was already assigning groups to ration out food and begin gathering foliage that could be used to conceal the earth lodges. Netya looked to where Caspian had been standing, but he was already gone. What would she have said to him, anyway?

Khelt returned to her side, taking her by the shoulders and bringing his forehead close to hers. "I do this for you," he murmured. "For the hope you have given me."

"It was the right choice," she said. "Many lives will be spared because of it."

"Maybe so. Go now, make ready your own preparations. And—" he paused. "Tell me if the witch makes any plans of her own. I will not have her thinking she has bested my will because of this."

"Do not worry yourself over her, she only desires the same thing you do."

Khelt only grimaced in response. His gaze lingered on Adel as Netya slipped away. The weeks to come would be trying indeed if the two of them continued to disagree. If anything, settling on the same course of action only seemed to have made Khelt even more resentful of his den mother.

As Netya headed back up the slope, she could not help but take a path that led her directly past where Vaya was collecting tools from the craftspeople. The huntress had been waiting for her. Spitting a mouthful of blood into the dirt, Vaya stepped backwards just as Netya was walking by, forcing her to stumble as a heavy shoulder rammed into her collarbone.

"Sleep lightly on the plains," the taller woman said under her breath. "There will be no tent walls to shield you from the night out there."

Whether the threat was a hollow boast or not, it found its mark. Many weeks might pass while the pack was on the move. How long until Vaya found another clutch of poisonous berries, or something worse? It was yet another concern to add to the already vast weight on Netya's mind.

Ignoring the huntress, she walked on by without sparing her a sideways glance. She tried to think of a way to outsmart her rival in the way Adel had suggested, but it was a fruitless endeavour that evening. Her thoughts were still overwhelmed by the days she would soon be sharing with one man, while another remained distant.

Two frantic days passed before the pack departed. They were not a people who hoarded treasures and keepsakes, but years of comfortable living on the outcrop had left them with much more to conceal in the caves than Netya would have thought. No effort was wasted when it came to blocking off the entrances with boulders and elaborate screens of foliage, but it was impossible to conceal the rest of the camp so effectively. The fresh earth that had been scattered over the fire pits would be conspicuous to the keen eye, as would the outlines of the earth lodges and the paths that had been worn in the grass by years of footfalls. If the Sun People spared the outcrop more than a cursory glance, they would realise they had found the home of their enemies.

Two of the hunters remained behind along with their eldest son, camped on a small hill a short distance to the west. Their task was to watch over the outcrop while the pack was away. Khelt promised to send runners as soon as the winter snows ended, but it was still a sombre moment for the pack to say goodbye. Danger would follow all of them in the months to come, and with the loss of Hawk and Essie so fresh in their minds, everyone knew their farewells might be permanent ones.

The procession set out at midday, Khelt striding out in front as he led his pack away from their home. A handful of outrunners scouted ahead for danger using the legs of their wolves, but the bulk of the group could move no faster than walking speed. With so many supplies to bear, along with elders and children, it would be no small feat for the pack to make their journey to the mountains.

The alpha occasionally called Netya up to walk with him, but more often than not she slipped back toward the middle of the group, walking with Fern, Wren, and Erech, who spent most of his time riding on the back of Nathar's wolf.

The days were long and hard, and Netya felt her own exhaustion mirrored by those around her. The hunters, who were used to pushing themselves at far harsher paces, quickly became restless, while many of the others struggled to keep up. Khelt drove a steady pace from dawn till dusk, and often even longer into the night if the pack was still able. The journey would become much more difficult once the rains arrived, and he did not want to waste the final days of summer on slow travelling. Yet, despite the hard pace, the pack's progress was slowed to a crawl by river crossings, rough terrain, pausing for stragglers, and a dozen other small hindrances. A journey that might have taken an able-bodied wolf no more than a few days became a monumental undertaking for such a large and heavily burdened group.