The Alpha's Concubine (Historical Shifter Romance) (66 page)

"Yes, I think that is wise," the other man replied.

In an instant Khelt saw the understanding smile on his lips, and he felt a fool. Even more an impulsive child than if they had ended up scrapping together in the undergrowth. Was it worse, enduring his patience over his rage? Caspian would never give in to violence when words would suffice. That was the difference between the two of them, and Khelt now realised it without a shadow of a doubt.

They walked together for a long while, straying out of earshot of the others, and farther still. It was not until many years later that Khelt would realise exactly why. A long walk in silence, just the two of them, without the need for any reason or purpose. Their wolves had taken many such journeys together in the past.

"The pack cannot survive as it is," he said eventually. "I spoke with Adel. The two of us both agreed."

Caspian came to a halt. He nodded in understanding, as if he had suspected as much. "If nothing else, I am glad the pair of you finally talked."

"I should have listened to you. Both of us should. You and Netya saw this coming as clearly as the morning sun." He sat down on a fallen log, his throat and chest leaden with remorse.

"Do not dwell on what you cannot change," Caspian said. "You realised the truth of it in the end."

"And almost at great cost. Netya had to make us see our anger destroying the very thing it was trying to protect. I am a fool—" Khelt caught himself, growling with distaste at his own self-loathing. He had not come here to wallow in his failure. He was a stronger man than that. "As you say, I should not dwell on what I cannot change. The truth of it is clear to me now."

Caspian nodded. "Of what did you and Adel speak?"

"The pack cannot stay whole while both of us remain part of it. I will not tolerate her interference, and she will not accept my authority. We must either fight, or we must reach an accord."

"I imagine neither of you have any taste left for fighting."

"No," Khelt sighed. "I detest the woman. If she were to fall dead tomorrow, I would shed no tears over her passing. But an alpha must rise above such things, as I failed to the night we crossed the valley. I refuse to let the anger she stirs in me rule my thoughts. We reached an accord, and it must be as we have decided. There is no other way." He laced his fingers together, resting the middle of his forehead against his pressed thumbs. He longed for an alternative, but there was none. Once he said it aloud, there would be no going back. He reminded himself of the price Netya had paid for his failure, and grit his teeth. "The pack will divide. Adel will take those willing to follow her, and the rest shall remain with me. She goes north, I go south. We will be kin no longer."

Caspian remained silent, gazing off into the trees.

"Netya will go with her," Khelt said, the alpha's authority leaving his voice as he revealed to his friend what pained him most. "I cannot offer her what she wants. I have known it for so long, but I refused to believe. In her heart she is too much like Adel."

Caspian looked at him then, and the strain on his face mirrored Khelt's own. He could not maintain his calm composure knowing what had to come next. "Wherever Netya goes, so must I."

"I know." Khelt closed his eyes. "She pledged herself to me, and I failed her. I relinquished any claim on her heart the moment my teeth pierced her body."

"You did not mean for it to happen," Caspian said, stepping forward to place a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Khelt felt his eyes prickling at the comforting touch, his jaw tightening once more. They had not been born of the same blood, but Caspian was more brother to him than any man he had ever known. Even now, when such unforgivable things had been done, when such a terrible divide had been driven between them, all his friend had to offer in that moment was his reassurance.

"Do not excuse my actions," Khelt said, his voice shaking. "I knew what I was doing. Even if it was only for an instant, I was ready to hurt her if it meant getting at Adel. I gave in to the violence of my wolf. I went against all of our ways, and I proved myself unworthy of her. No woman deserves a man capable of such things."

"I never desired such an end to this."

"I know." Khelt forced himself to smile, looking up to meet his friend's gaze. "I will never think badly of you, Caspian. You are the man she belongs with, not I. Keep her safe. Let her become the woman she wishes to be." He rose to his feet, and Caspian pulled him into a fierce embrace. Khelt's brow creased with emotion, and he gripped his brother back with equal force. Though fate was cruel, it could not undo the strength they had drawn from one another so many times over the years.

"How will I lead my pack without your guidance?" Khelt said softly.

"You will find your way. I told you, you were always the leader, not I. Few would have had the courage, or the wisdom to make the decision you did. I have always been proud to call you my alpha."

A snort of pained laughter left Khelt's lips, and he clutched Caspian tighter. "When the pack gatherings come, we will sit up together by the fire. You will leave me with enough wisdom to guide my pack until the years pass by and we sit together once again."

"And you will tell me the tales of all the pretty young females you ensnare until you find your mate. With Adel gone, you need not worry over capturing girls of the Sun People to share your furs."

Khelt smiled. "I fear it may be many years before the last one leaves my mind. But I will do my best to give you the stories you desire."

They broke apart, having said all they needed to. Khelt had always feared their shared love for Netya would come between them, and in many ways it had. But as they walked back through the forest that morning, there was no taint of hatred or jealousy to darken their companionship. When they parted ways, they would do so as friends.

As they talked of lighter things on their long walk back, the alpha felt a small part of his burden easing. He wondered, as they strolled, how things might have been different had he never made the decision to take a pretty young Sun girl as his concubine.

* * *

In other circumstances, Netya would gladly have stayed many weeks longer with the North People. Their stories were new and their skills unique, and the few fleeting days she spent with them sped by like feathers on the wind. She wanted to learn how their shamans divined the turning of the weather, and how their farmers cultivated such rich crops year after year in the same earth. No more than the briefest glimpse into their way of life was afforded to her before it came time to leave, and she said her goodbyes to Lutek and his people with the promise that she would one day return. Now that she had seen the ways other tribes lived, Moon and Sun people alike, she wanted to visit all of them. Every village from here until the end of the world, wherever that was. She was beginning to believe that the world had no end. Beyond the forests she had found the plains, beyond the plains the mountains, and beyond the mountains there were broader lands still. There existed more things in the world than she had ever imagined.

It was with a heavy heart that she made the journey south with the others, knowing what was to come. Khelt had told her of his accord with Adel, but besides that they had spoken little. It seemed that he could no longer look on her without being reminded of what he had done, despite her efforts to reassure him. She forgave the alpha for his actions, but it was not just her forgiveness that he needed. It would be a long time before he overcame his own doubts. Perhaps it was for the best that she would not be around to remind him.

"You do not have to go with Adel if you do not wish," Caspian said one morning as they walked together across the plains, making the final stretch of the journey on foot. "There are others who could instruct you in the ways of the seers, and you have the wits to learn much on your own."

"But there are no teachers quite like Adel," she replied. "That is not why I must go with her, though. Khelt is strong, even now. I have faith that he will weather whatever trials the pack face in the years to come."

"And you believe Adel will not?"

Netya smiled and shook her head. "I think it is a different kind of strength that Adel needs. I have seen the kindness in her. She terrified me when I first came to the pack, but I have grown to care for her like family. She was not always so cold and bitter."

Caspian encircled her waist with his arm, drawing her in close. A year ago, Netya had been a hopeful young girl desperate to catch his eye. Now, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to be walking alongside him, cradled in his grasp.

"You helped awaken the woman she used to be," he said. "I tried to do the same, but it was never enough. Without Khelt, perhaps she will be able to thrive once again."

"And I want to be there to help keep her on that path. As much as I need Adel, perhaps she is the one who needs me more."

"My wise seer." Caspian grinned, kissing her forehead. "I always thought Adel a great woman, but perhaps now I have come to know one even greater."

Netya's cheeks warmed, and she rested her cheek against his broad shoulder, their meandering pace soon leaving them trailing behind the rest of the group. When they were out of earshot, she felt for his hand on her hip and twined her fingers between his.

"I still feel it growing in the back of my mind," she said quietly. "It gets stronger every day. In my dreams, sometimes I am the wolf now."

"Do not fear it," Caspian murmured. "When it rises up and takes hold, I will be there. Your wolf may be young and confused, but it is neither friend nor enemy. It is only another side of you."

"What if that side is not a pleasant one?"

"Then we will learn to tame it. The days ahead will be hard, but we have already endured worse."

Netya closed her eyes and stopped, pausing to embrace him as the gentle wind rustled the grass around them. The path opening up before her seemed hard indeed. Rougher and more uncertain than ever. Terrifying, even, but for the trials she had already faced in coming so far. Caspian was right. She would meet whatever came next, but not as a helpless young girl this time. From the wolf pelt adorning her shoulders to the spear slung across her back, the beads braided into her hair and the mended pendant resting upon her breast, she was a woman of the Moon People. She belonged to the sun no more.

With tears in her eyes, she embraced Erech as the two sides of the pack said their farewells. They had been given a few days to decide where their loyalties lay, but the time had come for them to take their separate paths. Winter loomed, and they could not afford to delay any longer.

"I will walk every day until my leg is strong enough to carry me to the pack gathering once more," Erech said. "I will make it there to see you and Fern again, I swear."

"We will be waiting for you." She smiled at him, blinking back the moisture that threatened to escape her eyes as she caressed his cheek with a palm. "Alpha Erech."

Swallowing down his emotions before they could crack his composure in front of the other young males, he embraced her tightly, lifting her off the ground for a moment with a groan as he braced himself with his crippled leg. Once he had done the same with Fern, Netya made her farewells to the few others who had looked kindly on her during her time with the pack. Oke, Brae, Nathar, the craftspeople who had helped her make her spear, and her fellow seers who had elected to remain with Khelt. It was clear that many of the others were more than happy to see the back of her, but she had no eyes for them that morning. She would remember the ones who had been good to her, not those that made her feel like an outsider.

All in all, Adel's group made for a sorry gathering compared to Khelt's. Barely a quarter of the pack stood at her side, most of them young seers, totalling just twenty in number. Among them there was not a single distinguished hunter, and only three males. Caspian and the mates of two of the seers were all they had. One craftswoman, one elder, Fern, and Wren made up the remainder. With no family left on Khelt's side of the pack, Hawk and Essie's daughter had chosen to remain with the surrogate sisters who had taken her in.

Before they gathered their belongings to leave, there was one final farewell left for Netya to say. She suspected the alpha would have left without a word had she let him, but they would both regret it if they did. Seeking him out amidst the others, she tugged at his wrist, and met him with a smile.

"You have one last goodbye left to say, Alpha."

For a moment he seemed reluctant, but his face softened with relief when he met her eyes. "Netya. Of course."

"I do not recall thanking you for all you did for me. Even if I have, let me say it one more time. Thank you."

Khelt shook his head. "I did little for you that was worthy of thanks. You have lost everything you once held dear because of me."

"But perhaps I have gained more than that life could ever have offered. Perhaps it was fate, or the will of the spirits. These last months have left me with so much sorrow, but every day I tell myself not to regret it. Things are as they are, and we are still strong despite it all."

"Then I will not ask again for your forgiveness, as much as I may want to."

"There is no need. You already know you have it."

The alpha sighed, looking on her with a fondness that made Netya's heart ache for all the things they had shared, and all the things they had been unable to.