The Amish Christmas Sleigh (11 page)

C
HAPTER
6

J
ess Schmucker had decided to remarry. The news burned through the district in record time. The thought filled Bernice with a strange combination of anxiety and sadness.

So what if Jess was one of the most handsome men she had ever seen? He spent too much time hollering and frowning. And if there was one thing she knew, all things happened at God's will. Unfortunately it hadn't been in His plans for her to have a husband and family of her own. But to think that Jess was out to pick a wife.... Oh, to have a man like him to set his sights on a girl like her. Well, it was nothing more than a dream, and one that would never be fulfilled. Best to clear those thoughts from her mind as quickly as possible.

Plus that was without considering the fact that she had accused him of neglecting his own children. Her face filled with heat whenever she thought of how she had come to his house to “help,” only to discover his girls were crying out for attention.

“So will you go or what?”

Bernice turned her attention from her coffee to her cousin Sarah. Sarah King was the reason Bernice had moved from her home district to Paradise to teach school. Sarah's young husband had fallen ill after just months of marriage and died in the hospital from pneumonia. What better time to make a move to support her cousin and to take on the young scholars of the district?

Well, that and the fact that her own sister had married the man Bernice had thought God had made for her. But once Leah and Jacob had said their vows, Bernice knew that she had to get away. So here she had fled, to start a new life, become a new person, a better person, but not to fall in love. “I don't know.” She stirred the creamy liquid in her cup. The last thing she wanted to do was go to one of those desperate meetings where everyone wasn't married and wishing they were. No, thank you.

She shook her head. “I mean, it's not like I'm a widow.”
Just lonely.

“I know, but no one's going to say anything. Not if you show up with me.”

Bernice studied her fingernails and tried to think of a good reason to stay at home and an even better one to go.

“I hear it's going to be quite an event. Food, games, food.”

Bernice jerked her gaze up to meet her cousin's. Sarah's eyes twinkled. “Like a party.”

Sarah shrugged. “I suppose so,
jah
.”

Would Jess be there? Why would he? She had never heard tell of him going to these kinds of things before. Bernice had no reason to believe he'd start now. What difference would it make if he did? She wasn't getting married. Ever. And he was out to find himself a wife. Had he wanted her in that position, he would have surely said something the other day at the school. And he wouldn't be going to a singles meeting in his search for a bride.

“I think I'll pass,” she finally answered.

“Whatever you think is best.”

Best
might not be the proper word to describe it, but it was certainly the most effective way to protect her heart. For given half the chance she could fall in love with Frowning Jess Schmucker.

 

Jess stared into the red liquid in his cup and wished he were someplace else. Oh, the punch wasn't that bad, but the atmosphere. . . He shuddered.

It hadn't taken a day for word to get around the district that he had decided to remarry. He should have never let his sister know of his plans. She could never keep a secret, and this was no exception. Now women he didn't even know lived in the district were showing up with pies and casseroles.
Ach,
women he didn't even know existed were doing the same. At the rate this was happening he'd have to choose a bride and fast.

He scanned the room, watching as the widows and widowers mingled, circling each other, laughing but not quite, wary, uncomfortable. It was worse than those awkward singings of his youth.

Why had he ever agreed to come here?

To find a
mamm
for his girls, that voice reminded him.

He allowed his gaze to wander around once again, this time taking note of who seemed to be part of a forming pair and which women were still trawling.

There was Constance Fitch. She was
gut
enough, he supposed, and her buttermilk pie was mighty tasty. But he couldn't imagine the confusion of having two Constances in the house. One would surely get a nickname, and the thought of his darling daughter named by his beloved wife taking on a new name so she could have a mother didn't set quite right in his craw.

Ruth Lapp caught his attention and gave a little flirty wave. He returned it in spite of himself and tried not to cringe. He supposed in the big scheme of things she was a candidate. She was easy on the eyes, and her chicken and noodles was good enough. It was her laugh. Somewhere between a donkey and one of those yippy Mexican hairless dogs. He shook his head. No matter how good her cooking was, he didn't think he could listen to that cackle for the rest of his life.

That left two women at the meeting who could potentially be a mother to his three girls: Mary Chupp and Carrie Byler. Mary was a nice woman. She had a caring personality and she could cook. But he hated the way she twisted her hair before she pulled it back. It was backward, rolling down instead of up before tucking underneath the edge of her
kapp
. Who did that? He might not be the best at fixing hair, but he knew better than to fold it under like that. And he didn't think he could spend the rest of his days with that upside-down roll without eventually cracking and redoing it himself.

Nay,
that would never do.

Carrie Byler. He sighed. The young widow lived across from his
eldra
on the farm she once shared with her husband. Elmer Byler had died early in their marriage, if Jess remembered correctly, before the first year had even passed. He could remember little about their courtship since they were in a different youth group from him and Linda Grace, but if his memory served him, they had been crazy in love. Which would explain why Carrie still wore her widow's black though several years had passed since Elmer had died.

But he could not find fault in that. Maybe only that Carrie still held feelings for her deceased husband. Though he had to admit a special place in his heart would always belong to Linda Grace.

Carrie didn't have any children, so she might want a couple to add to the mix. That was to be expected, he supposed. And it was
allrecht
with him. If he wanted her to be a
mamm
to his young'uns he'd expect she'd want a few of her own. The thought made his heart pound in his chest. A couple more young'uns to round out the mix, maybe a son to help in the barn and carry on the Schmucker name.
Jah,
a son would be
gut
.

She caught his eye and sent him a small smile. He should go over there and talk to her, but he couldn't convince his feet to carry him across the room. Amish courtships were slow and easy. The young people these days weren't as secretive about their courting as their parents and grandparents had been, but second marriages were always hidden until the wedding approached. He wasn't sure why. Seemed to him that the second time around, couples had more to do and less time to sneak around. But he hadn't been allowed to set up those traditions.

He nodded at Carrie, then turned back to his half-empty cup of punch. If he was serious about this—and he was—he couldn't go over there and blow it now. He'd have to take his time, and for that he was thankful. No sense rushing headlong into things.

“So what do you think? See anyone who interests you?” Dan Troyer sidled up next to him and surveyed the room.

“That's not why I came,” he said, immediately saying a quick prayer of forgiveness for the lie. How could he keep his courting a secret if he said anything to Dan? Maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all to anyone.

Bad mistake.

“
Jah.
Sure.” Dan chuckled and Jess knew the man didn't believe him. But that was fine with Jess. He was sticking to his story, and that was all there was to say about it.

“Maybe you should ask her to go caroling with us next week.” Jess jerked his attention to his lifelong friend. He and Dan had known each other ever since he could remember. Funny how time and work, life and death could pull people apart. Dan's wife had died in a car wreck a few years back. Dan hadn't remarried, nor did he seem ready to, though if the rumors were true Sylvia Hostetler might have something different to say about that.

“Caroling?” Jess asked. “Like, singing?”

“Singing
, jah
.”

Jess shook his head. “I don't want to go singing.”

“Sure you do.” Dan smiled. “Get your
mamm
or Reba to watch the girls, and I'll make sure Carrie Byler is there. All you have to do is show up.”

And sing,
he thought. It sounded like a good plan. He could talk to her alone, but around the others. See what she thought about his plans to get married again. Not raise suspicions but still get to spend the evening with her.

It was the perfect plan. The perfect plan, indeed. So why did his heart skip a beat when he wondered how Bernice Yoder would feel if she knew?

 

“
Dat,
can we put up Christmas decorations?”

Jess looked up from his evening reading. Constance, Hope, and Lilly Ruth stood at the bottom of the stairs three across, as if standing shoulder to shoulder could keep him from denying them.

They should be in bed already, but at least they were dressed to go to sleep in their plain white nightdresses, their hair all brushed and shiny, teeth clean and faces washed. A far cry from where they had been a week or two ago.

He shook his head. “There's too much to do around here to mess with all of that.” He was proud of his girls and the changes they had made, but adding more to their chores right now just wasn't a smart move. They had barely begun to see the light at the end as it were.

He did his best to make his words gentle, but tears welled in young Lilly Ruth's eyes. “We didn't have decorations last year, either.”

Because they had been in mourning, only having lost Linda Grace a couple of months before.

“Please,
Dat
.” Hope danced in place, then pushed her glasses back up onto her nose.

“Please.” Constance gave him that look, the one he had such a hard time saying no to. Well, the old Jess had. The new Jess had to stick to the plan. The house was clean and uncluttered for the first time in months.

He held his place in the Bible using one finger between the delicate pages. “I don't know. We still have so much to do.”

Constance pulled herself to her full height, as if that would somehow convince him to change his mind. “The dishes are all washed. The floors swept. And the nice ladies keep bringing food. Everything is done. Why can't we put up Christmas?”

Everything was done for now, but it would start all over again tomorrow. Despite the satisfaction he felt at having caught up his work, it wasn't at the end. It would just keep on going and going and going. But he didn't want to disappoint his girls. They had been through so much already. The thought was exhausting. Maybe he should wait to decide until he wasn't so tired. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

“
Jah
.”

His girls seemed disappointed, but they came over one by one, kissed him good night, and trudged up the stairs. At least they weren't crying or hurt and that in itself was a good thing. True, they were all caught up in the daily chores and he vowed they would never get behind again. And yes, the eligible and interested ladies in the district had seen fit to feed them for the last several days, so cooking hadn't been necessary. How long that would hold out Jess wasn't sure. Maybe only until word got around that he had set his mind to Carrie Byler. As for decorating for the holiday, he couldn't find any reason in his heart or mind as to why not.

 

When the girls got home from school the following day, Jess was waiting for them.

Together they ate a quick snack of cheese and crackers followed by the monkey bread someone had left on the porch while he was out walking the fences. There was no note, just the bread, his favorite.

Thankfully they hadn't had any snow since that first set of flurries, but he knew it was only a matter of time. They needed it, though, if the farmers were going to have a successful season come the spring. But he couldn't help but be a little appreciative to the dry ground as he plodded up and down the fences. There would be plenty of snow and mud soon enough.

After the milking, the four of them went back to the house and stoked up the fire.

“Are you ready?” Jess asked his girls.

“For what,
dat?
”

“To put up the Christmas decorations.”

Their faces lit up and Jess's heart melted. They needed this. Normalcy, every day, just being together as a family. Even as he struggled this past year to provide for them and be both mother and father, he realized now he had failed on both accounts. He could never be their mother, and he had been too wrapped up in his own problems to be a
gut vatter
to them, as well.

The girls danced around as he opened the boxes he had taken down from the attic that very afternoon.

With more delight than he ever remembered seeing on their faces, the girls unwrapped the decorations: fat white pillar candles, strands of dried cranberries, anise, and cinnamon sticks, and silky springs of holly with bright red berries. Then the most beautiful decoration of all: a faceless nativity set carved out of delicate wood.