The Anal Sex Position Guide (2 page)

When many people discuss female sexual anatomy, they refer to the vagina to describe the entire external genital region, but that’s not correct. Vulva is the proper overall term, and one I use throughout the book. The vulva encompasses the outer labia, inner labia, fourchette, frenulum, urethral opening, vaginal opening, clitoral hood, and clitoral glans. The outer labia (or labia majora) are the outer lips of the vulva. They contain hair follicles and are naturally hairy. The inner labia (or labia majora) are the two hairless inner lips of the vulva. They can be thin and narrow, thick and wide, one of each, or somewhere in between. The inner labia tend to be more sensitive than the outer labia. When a woman is turned on, they swell and deepen in color. The skin where the inner lips meet at the bottom is a delicate spot called the fourchette. The skin where the inner lips meet at the top is the frenulum, and this can be a very sensitive spot for many women, especially because of its proximity to the clitoral glans and hood.

The clitoral hood is the skin that protects the clitoral glans; it’s similar to the foreskin on a man’s penis. Under the hood is the clitoral glans. The clitorial glans—which some people refer to simply as the clitoris—is the most sensitive part of a woman’s body. It contains 6,000 to 8,000 nerve endings. It’s important to note that the clitoris is not just this tiny nub, but a complex system of connected nerves, tissues, muscles, and ligaments. Beneath the hood, the clitoris has a shaft, which runs from the glans to the bottom of the frenulum. The legs of the clitoris are like two ends of a wish-bone and span from the shaft all the way to the fourchette.

Below the clitoral glans and between the inner labia is the urethral opening. Behind the pubic bone is the urethra, which is about 1½ to 2 inches long and leads to the bladder. Below the urethral opening is the opening of the vagina, which is the most sensitive part of the vagina and leads to the vaginal canal.

Just inside the vaginal opening about 1 to 2 inches, through the front vaginal wall, you can feel the urethral sponge, commonly called the G-spot. The urethral sponge is made of spongy erectile tissue, which contains paraurethral glands and ducts. Like the clitoris, the G-spot is not just an isolated spot of sensitivity, but part of a network of nerves, muscles, and tissue. When a woman is turned on, the glands within the urethral sponge fill with fluid, causing the sponge to swell. Sometimes, that fluid is released through the paraurethral ducts into the urethra (or two ducts that are just adjacent to the urethra). This is called female or vaginal ejaculation.

The area between the vagina and the anus is the perineum, a sensitive but sometimes overlooked erogenous zone on the body that responds well to massage and stimulation.

The scrotal sac is the sac of skin that surrounds the testicles. The testicles, also known as the balls, are the glands involved in the production of testosterone and sperm. The shaft is the main body of the penis. The glans, also called the head, is the most sensitive part of a man’s penis because it has the most nerve endings. The urethral opening is the hole where urine and ejaculate leave the body.

On a circumcised penis, the foreskin has been removed so that the head is always visible. The corona—sometimes referred to as the coronal ridge—is the outer perimeter of the head which joins the head to the shaft. If you follow the ridge of the corona to the underside of the penis, you’ll notice where the two ends come together: this is the frenulum. This area is often the most sensitive part of the head.

An uncircumcised penis has a foreskin, a sheath of skin that covers and protects the glans. The foreskin’s inside fold is made of mucous membrane and keeps the surface of the glans soft, moist, and sensitive. The foreskin contains a rich supply of blood vessels and a dense concentration of nerve endings. The frenulum on an uncircumcised penis is where the foreskin attaches to the head on the underside.

The perineum is the area between the base of the penis and the anal opening. When you stimulate a man’s perineum, you’re stimulating the bulb of the penis, the part that extends inside his body.

Men and women have nearly identical anorectal anatomy, so the following applies to you regardless of your gender. The anus is the anal opening; it is made of soft tissue that is rich in nerve endings. It has a puckered appearance, and the skin around it contains hair follicles.

Just inside the anus are the external and internal sphincter muscles. These are the muscles that give the anus that tight feeling, control bowel movements, and the ones we must learn to relax in order to achieve comfortable anal penetration. Closer to the opening is the external sphincter. You can learn to control the external sphincter, making it tense or relax. Imagine that you are holding something in your ass or expelling something. As you suck in and tense up or push down and release, you are exercising your external sphincter muscles. The internal sphincter, on the other hand, is controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which also controls such involuntary bodily functions as your breathing rate. This muscle ordinarily reacts reflexively; for example, when you are ready to have a bowel movement, the internal sphincter relaxes, allowing feces to move from the rectum to the anal canal and out the anus. The external and the internal sphincter muscles can work independently of each other, but because they overlap, they often work together. The more aware you are of your sphincters and the more you practice using them, the more toned and “in shape” they will be.

The anal canal is the first few inches inside the anus, and is made of soft, sensitive tissue with a high concentration of nerve endings. Beyond the anal canal is the rectum, which is 8 to 9 inches long; the rectum is made up of loose folds of soft, smooth tissue. Wider than the anal canal, the rectum has the ability to expand more than the anal canal when you are aroused, which is what makes penetration possible.

The rectum is not a straight tube, but has two gentle curves. The lower part of the rectum curves toward your navel. After a few inches, the rectum curves back toward your spine, then toward your navel again. The rectum and colon both curve laterally (from side to side) as well; whether to the right or the left will vary from person to person. These curves are part of the reason that anal penetration should be slow and gentle, especially at first. Each person’s rectum and its curves are unique, and it is best to feel your way inside the rectum slowly, following its curves, rather than jamming anything straight inside.

The anus, the anal canal, and the rectum are all sensitive in different ways, which is why anal stimulation and penetration can be so pleasurable. The anus and the outer part of the anal canal are made of the same sensitive soft tissue, and this tissue contains the most concentration of nerve endings of all our anal anatomy. In general, this tissue tends to be more sensitive to touch and vibration. The inner part of the anal canal and the rectum are made of mucous membrane and have a lot fewer nerve endings; however, this tissue is much more sensitive to pressure (from penetration).

When it comes to anorectal anatomy, the one important difference between men and women is that men have a prostate gland. The prostate gland (sometimes referred to as the P-spot or the male G-spot) surrounds part of a man’s urethra; it’s behind the pubic bone, below the bladder and above the base of the penis. A mass of muscle, glands, and connective tissue, the prostate is about the size and shape of a walnut; it produces ejaculatory fluid that combines with sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles to create male ejaculate.

Both men and women often ask, “What’s so great about anal sex?” The answer to that question involves both the physical experience and the emotional and psychological elements that come into play. Like sex in general, anal sex is a holistic experience that encompasses our bodies as well as our minds and our spirits. The opportunities for pleasure through anal play are diverse, and what makes one person moan with delight may leave another person uninspired. For most people, it is a combination of factors that make anal sex a satisfying activity.

When men experience anal sex as the penetrators, they often say that the sensations are very different from vaginal penetration. The ass can feel much tighter than the vagina, creating a sensation of the penis being gripped by a warm, snug sheath of skin. Many men find that the additional friction increases their arousal and brings them to orgasm faster. Some enjoy the way the tight ring of sphincter muscles stimulates the head of their penis as it moves in and out of the anus.

As receptive partners, women report that the combination of all the nerve endings and sensitive tissue makes anal penetration incredibly pleasurable for them. Simply put, it feels really good! In addition, women can experience indirect G-spot stimulation through anal penetration, particularly in such positions as Doggie Style, in which the woman’s body is angled perfectly for her partner to easily hit the G-spot. Keep in mind that all that separates the vaginal and rectal cavities is a thin membrane; many women can feel the sensitive area of the front wall of the vagina being stimulated through that membrane. Some women can have orgasms from anal penetration alone, while others prefer a combination of vaginal and anal penetration for a double dose of G-spot stimulation. For still others, it’s all about a clitoral-anal combo: clitoral stimulation plus anal penetration equals mind-blowing orgasm!

When men are anally penetrated, they also enjoy the stimulation of such a nerve-rich area of their bodies. In addition, as recipients of anal penetration, they can experience direct prostate stimulation. If you slide a finger or a toy about 1 to 2 inches inside a man’s ass and aim it toward the front of his body, you’ll find the prostate. Prostate stimulation, either on its own or combined with other genital stimulation, can be extremely pleasurable and often leads to orgasm.

Although the ass is a wonderful erogenous zone, we all know that there’s another important sex organ we must also always keep in mind: the brain! For some people, the emotional and psychological aspects of anal sex are as much of a turn-on—or more—than the physical sensations they experience.

Looking for something very special, something that you share with your very special partner only? For many couples, this “new frontier” is something they share exclusively—a special gift they give each other. For anal virgins (even those who have had many conventional sexual partners), it is a way to experience something for the first time together. Some couples reserve anal sex for special occasions, increasing its erotic charge and making it that much more pleasurable and special when it does happen.

Trust is at the foundation of safe and pleasurable anal sex. Remember, one partner is entrusting the other with a delicate, sensitive part of his or her body that requires respect and care. Recipients of anal pleasure often feel very vulnerable, and their partners must acknowledge that vulnerability and take care to be gentle and responsible. It’s crucial for both of you to respect each other’s feelings, listen to your voices and your bodies, and take care of each other. The amount of trust required for anal sex—and the vulnerability some people feel when they engage in it—definitely intensifies the experience and makes it a lot hotter for both partners.

Anal sex is still seen as taboo or forbidden by mainstream society. Unfortunately, this can prevent people from trying it out or even considering the possibility. But there’s a flip side to this social restriction: the idea that you “shouldn’t” be engaging in this taboo activity might just drive you wild. It’s the naughtiness factor! That’s right, plenty of people really get off on the idea that they’re being bad, dirty, and oh so naughty. So, the fact that nice girls shouldn’t want it or that only bad boys do it (not true, of course) can actually enhance the fantasies that go along with anal sex.