The Atonement (29 page)

T
HE
FIRST
THING
L
UCY
DID
early the next morning was run up to Uncle Caleb's barn and call the woman in charge of organizing the food truck crew. Lucy indicated that today was a day of religious observance and apologized for the late notice.

“I completely understand,” the supervisor said kindly.

Uncle Caleb's watchdog barked loudly at a bird that had flown down from the barn rafters, and Lucy covered her ear, thanking the supervisor and promising to be there next Friday.

When she returned home, Dat and Mamm were kneeling reverently in the front room with bowed heads and folded hands. Mammi Flaud had joined in, as well, bless her heart. Upstairs, Lettie and Faye were praying silently on either side of their bed.

Seeing her family united in this way, Lucy felt all the more convicted. And when she'd reached the third floor, she went to her sunroom area and knelt beside the settee, folding her hands. “O Lord God, please wash my heart clean. ‘I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me,'” she prayed, quoting the anguished cry of King David of old.

“My burden of sin is too heavy to carry,” she whispered between
sobs. “I beg Thee for relief . . . for peace. I yearn for Thy forgiveness—I need it more than food. I need to find the strength to forgive myself, too.”

She went on to pour out all of her misery, her sin and her deceit, praying through a veil of tears. “I no longer blame Thee, O Lord, for letting my baby die.” She paused, then added, “I ask Thy forgiveness for this in the name of Thy Son, Jesus Christ . . . the great Heart-mender, who surely wept alongside me.”

There was no feeling of warmth like some folk said they experienced following such an entreaty. What Lucy did feel was a great sense of relief, and she longed to fully open her heart to God and to obey His commands. She was free of the weight of her sin and her sorrow, willing to forgive herself at long last.

All during family worship, while her father read the Bible, Lucy struggled to keep back tears. She had never been so tenderhearted while listening to God's Word. Mamm looked over at her a couple of times when Lucy sniffled, yet Lucy did not feel ashamed.
I've bottled up so many tears.
. . .

Later, Lettie was the one who came privately to her, in Lucy's bedroom, and asked if she was all right.

“
Denki
for caring,” Lucy said. “It's sweet of you, Lettie.” The lightness in her spirit was undeniable now, and she wanted to bask in it before going down to help Mamm get the noon meal on the table.

Lettie hugged her, then tiptoed out of the room, her footsteps soft on the stairs.

The peaceful atmosphere of the house prevailed even after the noon meal, although there was plenty to do to get ready for the Lord's Day.

Lucy made fast work of dusting and sweeping, surprising even Mamm.
Next thing she'll want me home every Friday,
Lucy thought,
not entirely opposed to the idea. When she was finished and her sisters started wet mopping the floors, Lucy hurried over to Mammi Flaud's to clean her smaller house, too.

“Awful nice seein' you round here today,” Mammi remarked.

Lucy felt different somehow, less inclined to rush off. “Feels real
gut
to be home for a change.”

“There's a certain harmony when we all work together,” Mammi said, a twinkle in her eye. “We feel rooted and grounded, ya know?”

Lucy understood.

While mopping the floor later, she was surprised to find last week's copy of
The Budget
lodged under Mammi's settee. Curious, she looked at the mailing address and realized someone had carried her parents' paper over to Mammi's. But why?

Lucy was a bit hesitant to bother with reading the newspaper on this day of reflection, yet once she had wrapped up her chores, she decided it wouldn't hurt to take time to read only Martie's column. She slipped out to the porch, where she looked up the page number, then flipped to the column.

The month is nearly gone. We've had some heavy soakers lately, making it difficult for farmers to harvest their corn.

There's a new baby boy at the home of Jim and Mary Blank, James and Rhoda's son and daughter-in-law. Father and mother are happy for a son after four daughters.

We've had a frequent visitor in our area recently—a Good Samaritan who continues to show up in various places, even helped Abe Riehl right his overturned buggy and got his children home safely following a terrible accident on a rainy Saturday afternoon recently. This very Englischer has been spending a lot of time at my father's house, gathering tips on woodburning stoves, going green, and building a chicken coop. Seems like he's fast becoming one of the family!

“Wha-at?” Lucy cried. “Martie wrote about
Dale
?” She closed the newspaper and sat there, stunned. What could have persuaded her to share such a thing?

She groaned at the thought of the entire Plain population of the country reading this. Not to mention the local ministerial brethren!

Getting up, she walked around the house to the back door, knowing there was no way to shield her family from reading Martie's account.
Likely they've already seen it.

Yet if so, why hadn't her parents, at least—or the twins—said anything about this? Surely even Mammi had read it.

Nonetheless, Lucy knew precisely where she was going to take herself off to, and right this minute!

When Lucy neared Ray and Martie's, her sister was outside pushing the stroller down the lane, coming this way. She looked downright sad.

“What's a-matter?” Lucy called.

“Ray talked frankly with me yesterday 'bout Colorado. He definitely wants to move, but not till the twins are at least toddlers.” Martie seemed to need to pour out her heart. “So it won't be for a few years yet. Says he wants me close to family while the twins are babies.”

“What a huge relief for you.” Lucy hated the thought of Martie leaving, even if it was a couple of years from now. She fell into step with her sister, wondering how far down the uphill lane she would go with little Josh babbling in the stroller and Jesse walking alongside.

How many more people must I say good-bye to?

“I'm surprised to see ya.” Martie smiled momentarily. “Did I schedule you to work today?”

Lucy shook her head. “I just needed to know somethin', sister,
if ya don't mind. Why'd ya write what you did in your recent column? The brethren will be all over Dat, for certain.”

“That wasn't my intention, but . . .” Martie stopped walking and turned the stroller around so they could head back toward the house. “I'm worried 'bout you, Lucy . . . others are, too.”

“I've really enjoyed Dale's company. He's helped me in more ways than anyone can possibly know . . . or understand.”

“But close friendship often leads in a different direction, remember?”

“Still, I'm not a child anymore.” Lucy didn't mean to sound indignant.

“Honestly, I never dreamed that little snippet I wrote would trouble ya,” Martie said more gently now, her eyes serious. “I should've taken you into consideration.”

Lucy couldn't imagine bearing a grudge toward sweet Martie. “I forgive ya, sister. I do.”

Martie motioned for her to join in pushing the stroller, hands nearly overlapped as they walked to the house.

I wonder how long before one of the preachers talks to Dat about this
. . .
if someone hasn't already,
Lucy wondered.

The minute Lucy had left for Martie's, Christian felt in his bones that it was time to hitch up the old buckboard and head to Dale Wyeth's hardware store in town. After exchanging a casual greeting, he put it right out there. “The church brethren fear you'll get our Lucy shunned.”

Dale's eyes widened. “I wouldn't think of jeopardizing your daughter's standing.”

“Well, you two
have
been quite friendly.”

Dale nodded. “Yes, I'm fond of your daughter.”

Christian set the record straight. “Then, you must surely know
that Lucy has been baptized. She cannot marry an
Englischer
without dire consequences.”

“I see,” Dale said, his expression solemn.

Christian studied the man, this most gentle and thoughtful soul. A thought came to him. “May I ask—are ya thinking of goin' Plain, then?”

Glancing over toward the register, where several customers were waiting in line for the clerk, Dale folded his arms. “Hadn't considered that.”

Christian pondered this frank exchange and wondered if he ought to say what he was thinking about Jerry Glick's boy. It couldn't hurt, not if it caused Dale to think twice when it came to pursuing Lucy.

“Since you've spent some time with my daughter, maybe she's mentioned her longtime friend Tobe Glick.”

Dale shook his head. “She hasn't, no.”

“Well, if you ever run into her again, you might ask 'bout him.” He threw it out to Dale, hoping he might say something to Lucy. If Lucy was honest about Tobe, maybe then Dale would skedaddle out of her life without need for further confrontation.

All the same, Christian felt downright
ferhoodled
during the drive home. Just when he'd started to consider Dale a fine friend, the tables had been turned.
On Lucy, too.
Was God putting her to the test with yet another outsider? At the thought, Christian fidgeted with the driving lines. Was God testing
him
?

He directed Sunshine to move to a trot, unable to interpret Dale's baffling response to his visit. The young man definitely hadn't denied any romantic leanings toward Lucy. Christian could only hope their man-to-man talk didn't make Dale all the more determined.

Have mercy, O Lord!