The Awakened (34 page)

“Zoey,” he said, his voice soft. My name sounded like music when he said it, like hitting just the right notes on a piano. He unbuttoned my blouse, his fingertips grazing the skin underneath. His lips were at my throat, biting softly at the skin there, causing goose bumps to ripple across my arms. I shrugged out of the shirt and pulled him down on top of me, amazed at how our bodies fit together. My feet just reached the tops of his, as our legs tangled around each other. Ash was moving against me, his breathing hard and labored.

Ash sat up, and I felt a breeze of cold air rush across my skin at the absence of his warm skin against mine. He tugged me up, into his lap. His hands were lost in my hair as he leaned down to kiss me again, his tongue sweeping over my jawline, over my lips before plunging between them. I was drowning in his kiss and the way he made me feel. I rolled my hips against him, and I felt him gasp. His palms were pressed hard against my back, making quick work of the hooks of my bra.

I inhaled sharply, as my bra straps fell down my shoulders and revealed my breasts. I yanked myself back, suddenly self-conscious. I was aware of the nakedness, the bit of me that I had never shown anyone. And now it was marred, scarred and cut from the Awakened I had battled. I felt the raised skin of the scar on my face and an embarrassed flush filled my face. I started to pull back, but Ash’s arm shot out, wrapping around my waist, and holding me close to him, my bare skin pressed against his.

“No,” he whispered softly, his lips at my forehead, my temple, and the soft skin below my ear. “Don’t cover yourself up. You’re beautiful, Zoey, every single bit of you.” His soft lips traced the sensitive skin of my scar. “You’re a fighter, and it’s the sexiest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t ever cover yourself up. Don’t ever be ashamed.”

I swelled and bloomed under his words, and a small smile crept onto my face. I was bursting to tell him how I felt, but the terror was too much to handle. I brought my lips back to his, hoping he would understand.

He pushed me back onto the bed, tossing the bra to the side. “You just lie there and look beautiful, baby. Let me show you how beautiful you are.”

A bigger smile grew across my face. “I think you showed me back in the woods.”

“Not like this,” he said, his voice low and full of desire. I felt it from my spine down to the tips of my toes. His lips traced a wet, searing trail down my neck to my collarbone, between my breasts. One of his hands cupped my breast, his thumb tracing light circles on the smooth skin. His mouth came down on the other breast, his tongue a soft sweep on my nipple. I gasped, surprised at the immediate pleasure that sped through me. I whimpered as his warm tongue traced the circle again.

“Ash,” I breathed in, my teeth biting down hard on my lip. I was in a haze, wondering how it was possible to feel this way. My hands were lost in the softness of his long hair, and I could feel the roughness of the stubble on his chin against my bare skin.

“Hmm?” he said, switching his mouth to the other breast. I sighed, my head thrown back against the pillow. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Oh, god, no,” I said, my breaths coming out fast and hard. My hands were at the buttons of his jeans and they unbuttoned easily. I found myself pushing them down. Ash’s hands reached out to grab mine and stopped them from undressing him.

“No, you first,” he insisted. His eyes met mine, and they were so full of desire and want and need, and I wanted to stay like this forever, in this bed. His hands were tugging my shorts off, and his hands were on me, soft against the skin there. My fingernails dug deep into his arms, my gasps coming out quicker. I started shaking, knowing what was coming next. I was both excited and terrified.

Ash must have sensed some of my unease because he pulled back. His blue eyes were now full of concern, as he leaned over me. “Are you okay, Zoey? Do you want to stop?” he asked, his own breathing labored. He was so sexy and so incredibly beautiful, and in this crappy world, he was the one bright light left. “We can stop if you need to. But we should do it now because I honestly don’t know how much longer I can let this go…”

My fingers traced circles on his arms, and I thought for a moment, looking up at him. “I’m scared…and nervous. I’m not experienced. I’ve never…I’m not…I haven’t…” I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. “I’ve never done this before.”

Ash smiled at me, an achingly perfect smile that made me melt into a puddle right then and there on the bed. “It’s okay, Z. We can do this together.”

“But you and Heather…” I protested.

He looked uncomfortable for a moment. “Zoey, I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t done something that I have. I wouldn’t do that to you. But I can tell you this: whatever I had with Heather pales in comparison with the way I feel right now.”

My skin was still tingling from his touch. “How do you feel now?”

“I want you,” he said immediately. “Every bit of you. No one else matters. No one else has ever mattered but you.”

“I’m scared,” I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.

His hands were lingering on my hips, his eyes intent on mine. He looked nervous. “I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks and weeks, but it never felt right. It never felt like the right moment and I wanted it to be the right moment for you, for both of us.” He took a deep breath, shaky and unsure. “I love you, Zoey.”

I had known for so long, or at least I had suspected, hoped, ever since we had fought the Awakened that had killed my dad. But I had never believed it. Not after he had sewed me back together and told me I was beautiful. Not when he had climbed into my bed and soothed me to sleep after the nightmares. Not even when he had lifted me onto that kitchen counter and kissed me with incredible passion. No, I hadn’t believed it. Not until now, when he said the words out loud.

“Zoey?” He sounded scared. No. He sounded more than scared. He sounded absolutely terrified. He had just bared himself to me, and I was having a hard time getting the words out in my surprise at his words.

“Ash,” I said, my voice soft, pulling him down for another desperate, searing kiss. His mouth explored mine tentatively as my tongue traced the curve of his bottom lip. I pulled away, my lips still grazing his. “I love you too. God, I love you so much.”

He came crashing down on me, his movements fast and full of need. His lips were on mine, pulling me into a never-ending kiss, as he yanked on the waistband of my panties, sliding them down my legs. I kicked them off, sending them flying in an unknown direction. We were both frantically pulling at his pants, and his boxers, until we were both naked, pressed against each other. I wrapped my hand around him, and a shudder ran through him, a low growl escaping his lips. I smiled, pleased that I could make him feel that way.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice just above a whisper.

I nodded, and he was careful, sliding in slowly. I winced, tears filling my eyes. He took it slow and before I knew it, pleasure was spreading through me, causing me to pant. I met his eyes, and I knew he was feeling the same.

“You’re so incredible,” he said, the words coming out in quick breaths. “You’re so beautiful, Zoey.”

No, I thought, you’re the beautiful one. My fingernails dug into the firm skin of his back as a new feeling swept through me, causing me to arch my back and cry out, my face pressed into his neck. He was a beat behind me, a low moan in the back of his throat. He collapsed against me, and my arms went around him, automatically, tracing the scar that had risen on his shoulder.

“Can I say it again?” he asked, his voice vibrating against my skin.

“Say what, baby?” I asked, out of breath, my eyes closing.

He laughed lightly. “I have to admit, I like when you call me baby.” A lazy smile grew across my face. “I’m just going to say it again. I love you, Zoey.”

I felt my heart skip a beat at the words. They would never get old, never. “I love you too. I always have, since we were kids.”

He sighed. “Me too.” Before I could say anything, he had fallen asleep. I grabbed the blanket and pulled it over both of us. For this one moment at least, we were together, and we were safe. We had each other.

WE WOKE HOURS LATER. I
jolted awake, hot and sweaty. Ash was still asleep on top of me, his breathing heavy. My hands were lost in his dark hair, and I felt a rush of affection go through me. He shifted and raised his sleepy eyes to mine. A lazy grin stretched across his face.

“Good morning, baby, or afternoon, I suppose,” he said, softly, raising himself up on his elbows. He winced, and his fingers went to his bandage.

“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching for him. He nodded, his fingers moving from his bandage to my thigh, up to my hip, across my stomach, between my breasts to cup my chin. He leaned down and my lips met his eagerly. We spent the next few moments lost in each other.

I pulled away, reluctantly. “As much as I want to keep doing this, I think it probably would be a good idea to get out of bed.”

He sighed, but there was still a smile on his face. “You’re right. And a shower sounds amazing right now.”

“Is that okay?” I asked, as he lifted himself off of me. Cold air rushed across my body, causing goose bumps to ripple across my skin. I grabbed the blanket and pulled it across me again. “With your injury, I mean?”

“Should be,” he said. He pulled on a pair of jeans, not bothering with underwear, and leaving the zipper down. I felt my breath quicken at the sight of him. His hair was messy, tangled from my fingers, and his skin was pale, but his chest and abs and hipbones were slim and fit. I bit my lip, wanting pull him back into bed.

He noticed me looking and winked at me. “It’s very hard to leave you like this, all naked, wrapped in that blanket. It’s kind of irresistible, actually.” He sighed again. “But you could always join me in the shower.”

I blushed. “I don’t think that would be wise, not in Bert’s house.”

“Later?” he asked, bending over me to kiss me again.

“Later,” I agreed, eagerly. He grinned and walked over to the door, turning the knob. I hesitated and then spoke up. “Ash?”

He looked back at me. “Yeah?”

I looked down at the bedspread, tracing the patterns with my finger. “You should make it quick. We need to talk to Bert.”

He frowned. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“He said…he said Sanctuary is real,” I blurted out. “It’s real and he knows where it is. He…used to work there.”

Ash’s hand was still on the doorknob, but he made no move to open it. Instead he stared at me. “It’s actually real…” he said softly. His eyes met mine, and I saw that they were full of barely disguised hope.

I nodded. “We need to find out more information, and…we need to ask him if he can take us there.”

“You don’t think we can stay here?” he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

I shook my head. “We can’t. I can’t…we need to talk to Bert. He’ll explain everything.”

“I don’t want a shower anymore,” Ash said firmly, grabbing his shirt from the floor and pulling it on. “Let’s go talk to him now.” He turned around and sped out of the room.

I sighed and got out of bed, locating my various articles of clothing strewn about the room, putting them on. I stumbled on something and saw a book laying on the ground, the one that Ash had been reading when I had come into the room. I lifted it up and felt the corners of my mouth turn up, almost involuntarily. In my hand was the most familiar book to me, one that I had read so many times it nearly fit in my hands perfectly.
The Mists of Avalon.
I knew it wasn’t my copy, but it felt just like my own. Someone in this house loved this book as much as I did. I closed it, and pressed it to my chest, overwhelmed with emotions for a moment. I placed the book back on the bed and followed Ash out of the room.

They were both in the kitchen. Bert was sitting at the worn table, a beat up book of crossword puzzles in his hands. Ash was standing in front of him, his arms tight across his chest.

“What’s going on?” I asked, as I entered, running a hand through my tangled hair. I slid into a chair across from Bert and looked back and forth between them.

“He didn’t want to say anything until you got here,” Ash said, his voice terse. There was the sound of pencil against paper as Bert continued working on a crossword puzzle. “Never mind that he told you about Sanctuary before I knew anything about it.”

“Ash,” I warned.

“Well, come on, Bert, you going to finally fill us in? Maybe tell us how you were randomly there to save our lives? How do we know you’re not working for Sekhmet?”

“Ash,” I said, louder. He turned to me, his eyes meeting mine, and I silently pleaded with him to stop. His face softened, and a small smile hinted at the corners of his lips. I felt a rush of affection pummel through me. “Sit down, okay?”

He glared at Bert, who was still steadfastly ignoring Ash, and slid into the chair next to me. His hand reached for mine, and my fingers slid between his.

The puzzle book was finally put down, and Bert raised his head to look at the both of us. “I wish I could keep you both here but I can’t. I have to take you to Sanctuary. It’s my job.”

“Your job?” I said, worry in my voice. “I thought you said you
used
to work for Sanctuary?”

“I did.” Bert’s deep voice filled the echoing kitchen, each word slow and careful. “I was part of security at Sanctuary for most of my life, until my wife died. She was a doctor at Sanctuary. We dedicated our lives to the place, a place where we could go should the worst happen.”

He sighed, looking out the window. Ash’s hand tightened around me, and I scooted my chair closer to him. “When my wife died, I couldn’t be there anymore. It hurt too much to be there. So I left. But you can’t just leave Sanctuary. So, yes, Miss Zoey, I do not work there anymore but my life is dedicated to it. I can never truly leave it. And I must take you there.”

“But what is Sanctuary?” I asked, biting my lip nervously. “I don’t understand.”

“During the 1950s, when the idea of nuclear war started to become a real fear, there was a group of people that realized that bomb shelters were not going to save us. We needed a place, a place where we could seek refuge. Back then, it was nuclear war, but as time passed, we knew that it was more than that: natural disaster, civil war, economic breakdown.”

“Zombies?” I asked.

A small smile crept onto Bert’s lips, and I was surprised at it. “No, no, that was the sort of thing we never would have thought. But despite having never been prepared for that, Sanctuary is still perfect for it. It was created to be a perfect refuge. It’s built into the cliffs of Mesa Verde National Park, and it was created with every need in mind. There are doctors and scientists and teachers and everything else needed for a new society to grow. A good size population can live and survive in this underground fortress for years, waiting for the world outside to be ready to start over again.”

“I met my wife when she was a student at Columbia University, in the ’70s. She was studying to become a doctor, and I was working the late night shift on security duty on campus. She always called for an escort, and I volunteered more than once to escort her to her car. Prudence was a beautiful lady, incredibly beautiful, and even smarter than she was beautiful.”

“One night, it was pouring rain, and when I came to meet her, to walk her home, I was drenched to the bone. I had forgotten my damn umbrella. When I left Pru at her doorstep, she hesitated. I had never seen her do that before. She always charged forward. She was a force of nature. But that one time, she hesitated. She handed over her umbrella to me and told me to meet her for coffee the next day. ‘To return my umbrella’ she said. We met for coffee in the morning and continued to do so for two months. It was easy. It was magic. We had been together ever since.”

I was afraid to speak, afraid to break the story that Bert was telling us. I curled my hand tighter in Ash’s grip, hoping he would get it and that he would know how much I loved him.

“We were married a few weeks after her graduation, just a small thing down at the county offices. She was offered a job, in an ER wing at Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick. New Jersey. Things were working out quite nicely.”

“And Sanctuary?” Ash interrupted, his tone harsh.

“Ash, shut up,” I said. He looked at me in surprise, and I raised my eyebrow at him. “Let him continue, okay?”

Ash grumbled under his breath but remained silent.

“Pru and I lived in New Jersey for…about five years when a man came to visit her at the hospital. He said he was part of a secret project, one that would change the world. He was looking for the best and the brightest.”

“Now, we both thought it was a bunch of smoke and mirrors, wishful thinking, until they convinced us to come and visit Sanctuary. By that time, it had been up and functioning for nearly thirty years. It wasn’t perfect, but it was on its way. They had everything and they needed to bring people in: doctors, teachers, architects, scientists, everyone that would be necessary to build Sanctuary.”

He looked up at us. “What people fail to understand about Sanctuary is that it is already there. It has always been there, functioning like it’s supposed to for years. People live there. Children are born there. It’s been there, waiting and watching for the moment that it would be needed.”

“That’s so…unsettling,” I admitted. “That this group of people have been there, all along, without us knowing, kind of makes me feel weird, like I was being spied on.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t like to hear about Area 51 then?” Bert asked, a low chuckle in his voice. I wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. “Once Pru and I had seen what Sanctuary was and what it could accomplish, we were both in. I had fought in Vietnam before I became a security guard, so they welcomed a soldier. Even soldiers were needed in the future.”

“Pru worked herself to death in Sanctuary, and I do not say this lightly. She worked harder than anyone I’ve ever known, and she gave her life to make that place what it is. Sanctuary is not perfect. It never will be, but it’s as close as we’re going to get to it. It’s the only place left that we have. Whatever is going on outside of this house, in this country, in the world, they know. They have everything, and they know everything. Sanctuary was created for just this kind of world.”

I opened my mouth and then closed it again.

Ash finally spoke up. “Is it safe? I just want Zoey to be safe.”

“And Ash,” I said quickly, looking at him anxiously. He nodded in reassurance and turned back to Bert.

“It is the safest place in the world to be,” Bert said, his hands folded on the table in front of him. “You do not have to go. We do not force anyone to go, but…it is probably in your best interest to go. It will keep you safe from Sekhmet.”

“How do you know about Sekhmet?” I asked, feeling my heart pounding in my chest at the mere mention of Razi’s corporation. I closed my eyes, seeing red behind my eyelids. We had left her dead body at the side of the road, but just the memory of her would haunt me for as long as I lived.

Bert sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Sekhmet has been around for quite a while, longer than anyone really knew. Being a part of Sanctuary meant that you were privileged to information that most people are not. The higher-ups in Sanctuary knew that this organization existed. We knew where they were located. They didn’t seem to be a threat so they were ignored. We had no idea what they were up to and frankly, most people didn’t care.” He ran a hand across his face. He suddenly looked incredibly tired. He was only in his 60s, maybe his 70s, but at that moment, he looked much older. “I am not there to know. I don’t even know who is left there, but I can imagine the regret that some may feel.”

“But it’s done, right? It’s gone. With Razi dead…” I said, my voice soft. Images flashed across my vision: being strapped to a medical chair, Liam’s soft hands on my face, running with Ash through dark hallways, and I felt a shudder run through me.

“That, I cannot say,” Bert said, his left shoulder lifting slightly in a shrug. “Dr. Cylon was just one woman, and she had worked for long enough to get quite a system under her belt. They will be weak without her. What happens after this is hard to say.”

I stood up. “I just…I need a moment.” I turned on my heel and walked out of the kitchen. I pushed my way out of the swinging screen door and took off down the porch and across the lawn. I stopped right in front of Bert’s truck. I wanted to kick it, but I was afraid a well-placed kick would rip off the fender, so I resisted. I lifted myself into the back and plopped down. The sun was streaming down on me, and I leaned backward, soaking up as much vitamin D as I could.