The Baby Bargain (21 page)

Kelly shook her head, forcing her thoughts to the more immediate future. The dress she had planned to wear nipped in at the waist and the zipper had simply sneered at the suggestion that it might want to close. Going to the closet, she riffled through the garments there, sparing a thought—as always—to the wonderful luxury of having a choice. She finally settled on a dress of soft ivory jersey that draped softly from the neckline, skimming the body and hinting at curves—but not too strongly, she hoped.

Though he told her she looked nice, Dan had little to say on the way to the restaurant. Stealing glances at his face, Kelly was struck by the fact that his jaw seemed unusually tight, and there was a sternness about his eyes she couldn't remember seeing before.

They were the last of the group to arrive. Michael and Ben both rose with old-fashioned politeness as Dan and Kelly walked up to the table. Kelly sat next to Dan with Ben on her other side. Brittany was on Dan's other side with Michael next to her.

The round table allowed the conversation to flow easily among them. Or it would have if there had been enough conversation to flow. It was immediately apparent that Michael and Brittany were not completely on good terms with each other. Brittany was a little too flushed, her eyes a little too bright. And the little sidelong looks she stole toward her husband from time to time were nervous and just a touch angry.

This was only the second time Kelly had met Michael, but she had the feeling that he was not normally quite as taciturn as he was tonight. No one could have faulted his manners, but there was something about him that made it clear that he'd rather be elsewhere—perhaps shoveling coal in a mine.

There was actually little to choose between his attitude and Dan's. The tightness Kelly had noticed in Dan's jaw grew as the evening wore on until she could almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding.

Only Ben seemed comfortable, nudging the conversational ball when it showed signs of rolling to a halt, even managing to draw a laugh or two. But as the evening wore on, the ball got heavier and heavier until even Ben was having a hard time getting it to move.

Kelly felt as if she'd fallen into the middle of a movie for which everyone had a script but her. It was obvious that there was something more going on here than anyone had bothered to tell her. The atmosphere between Michael and Dan could have been cut with a knife.

Halfway through the meal, she came to the painful conclusion that Brittany had lied to her, by omission if nothing else. Whatever she'd had in mind when she'd suggested this dinner, it hadn't been anything as simple as strengthening a new friendship.

The realization hurt She'd thought she and Brittany were becoming real friends. But you didn't use friends, and that was exactly what Brittany had done. Since it was obvious that Kelly was the only one at the table who didn't know what was going on, it was equally obvious that she was the only one who could have been conned into suggesting this dinner to Dan. Everyone here must know what a fool she had been.

Muttering an excuse, she pushed her chair back from the table and headed for the rest rooms. The ladies' room was bright with color but the soft light was soothing. There were low stools in front of a wide mirror and Kelly sank onto one of them, digging through her purse for a tissue. She kept her head bent when she heard the door open, in no mood for exchanging polite smiles with a stranger.

"Kelly?"

Kelly stiffened at the sound of Brittany's voice. Her fingers knotted over the soft leather of her purse. A surge of anger and embarrassment colored her cheeks, drying the tears that had been threatening.

"Yes?" She took a brush out of her purse and turned to the mirror, as if her only concern were to neaten her hair.

"Kelly, I'm sorry."

The simple apology was impossible to ignore, but it did little to cool Kelly's hurt

"Sorry you played me for a fool or sorry that it doesn't seem to be working?" she asked coolly. She put the brush away before turning to look at the other woman.

"Sorry that I didn't tell you up front what the situation was." Brittany's eyes were stormy gray with distress.

"Just what is the situation?"

"I can't tell you," Brittany said. "I've already interfered too much."

"That's great." Kelly's laughter held no humor. "You're sorry, but you won't tell me what's going on. Well, I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry I was such an idiot. I thought we were becoming friends."

"We were. We are. At least, I hope we will be again." Brittany stopped, her eyes pleading. "I was wrong to use you to help clear the air between Dan, Michael and myself. It's just that we were all such good friends and it hurts to see those two not speaking to each other. It hurts them, too," she added fiercely. "I know it does, even if they're too stubborn to admit it"

Despite herself, Kelly was impressed by her vehemence. "What happened between them?"

"I can't tell you. Wait." She caught Kelly's arm when she would have risen. "I've already interfered too much. Michael was furious with me about this and he was right. I was wrong to do it this way. I can't tell you anymore. That's got to be up to Dan."

"Fine." Kelly stood. "I hope you don't mind if I suggest to Dan that we leave. The evening isn't turning out to be what anyone had hoped."

Brittany rose also, her eyes searching Kelly's face. "I really am sorry, Kelly. I was wrong. I never meant to hurt you."

Looking at her, Kelly knew she was sincere. "Was this the only reason you wanted to get to know me? To get Dan and Michael to speak?"

"No!" Brittany reached out, touching her hand lightly. "When I first came over, I wanted to see what you were like. I've known Dan a long time. I wanted to know you, too. And I really liked you. You're fun and easy to talk to. This whole thing—" she waved one hand to encompass the evening

"—was an impulse. And a rotten one, at that. I never meant to hurt you. Can you forgive me?"

Kelly believed her, but that didn't make the hurt disappear. She shook her head. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I want to."

"Well, that's more than I deserve. I'll let you call me when you think you'd like to talk."

They didn't speak again as they walked back to the table. Dan looked up as they approached, his eyes concerned. The concern grated like sandpaper over her already stretched nerves, stemming as she knew it did solely from his interest in the baby.

"Are you all right?" He leaned close as she sat down, his breath brushing across her forehead.

"I'm a little tired, actually. Would you mind if we called it a night?" She was hardly surprised when he agreed instantly.

"No problem." He pushed his chair back and stood, reaching for the light jacket she'd draped over the back of her chair.

Kelly smiled at the table's other occupants. "I'm sorry to cut this short. It's been...very nice," she managed.

A brief silence fell over the table when they'd left. Ben toyed with his margarita glass. Michael stared at the flowers that occupied the center of the table. Brittany rearranged her silverware, waiting for someone to say something.

"So okay," she burst out at last. "It was a lousy idea and it was all mine."

"Your heart was in the right place," Ben told her soothingly.

"You meant well, honey." Michael reached out to catch her restless fingers. "But please don't do it again."

"I won't," she promised, her hand turning to clasp his.

Neither Kelly nor Dan had anything to say on the drive home. Dan asked her once if she was sure there was nothing wrong and she assured him that she was just tired, and that was the extent of their conversation.

Dan stared broodingly out the windshield while Kelly stared out the passenger window. She was getting more than a little bit tired of feeling like a pawn. Dan was using her to get the child he wanted. Brittany had used her to try and patch up her and Michael's relationship with Dan. Was she really so worthless that she didn't have any value in her own right?

By the time Dan shut the apartment door behind them, she was feeling annoyed, aggrieved and frustrated. Dan took her jacket, hanging it in the closet without a word. His expression was tight, unreadable.

"I'm sorry I suggested this evening," Kelly said, breaking the silence. "I had no idea there was any problem."

"It's not your fault." He moved past her into the dining room, pulling a bottle of bourbon out of the cupboard and splashing a small amount into a glass.

She followed him, stopping next to the table. "Brittany didn't tell me there were problems between the three of you."

"There aren't any problems," Dan said, his tone short. He took a sip of bourbon.

"Right. So the tension tonight was all my imagination."

"Look, it was all a long time ago." He finished the bourbon and poured himself another shot, a little larger this time. Putting the bottle back into the cupboard, he turned to give her a tight smile. "It's not important anymore."

"In other words, you're not going to tell me anything," she said.

"It doesn't have anything to do with you."

"It does when someone uses me to set up a disaster like tonight"

"Brittany can be a little impulsive," Dan said. "I doubt she meant to use you."

"That's what she said, but it doesn't make me feel any better. And I don't even know why."

"Look, I really don't want to talk about this."

"Fine." Kelly couldn't explain the anger welling up in her. Most of her life she'd let other people dictate where she was going, what she was going to do. Her father, and even Dan to a certain extent. That Brittany had manipulated her, too, seemed to have broken something loose inside, a long-suppressed resentment, an anger.

"Fine. Let's not talk about it." She turned away from him, wiping tears from her eyes. "I suppose there's no reason why you should tell me anything. I'm just the woman who happens to be carrying your child."

"Kelly." There was a weary kind of anger in Dan's voice, but Kelly was too mad herself to pay any attention to it

"I'm nothing but a...brood mare to you."

"Stop it!" Dan set the glass down with a thump, splashing bourbon onto the table. "I've never thought of you like that."

"Well, that's how you treat me," she said with more emotion than justice.

"I do not! For God's sake, Kelly." Dan took a step toward her, lifting his hand to push his fingers through his hair, feeling frustrated and tired.

Kelly saw the raised hand out of the corner of her eye and heard the anger in his voice. Her reaction was instinctive.

"No!" Throwing one hand up in a protective gesture, she ducked back, her shoulders hunched.

His hand in midair, Dan froze. The color slowly drained from his face, leaving him as pale as she was. He lowered his hand, aware that it was not quite steady. The room was as silent as a tomb.

When no blow fell, Kelly slowly straightened without looking at Dan. She clasped her shaking hands together in front of her, staring at them.

"You thought I was going to hit you," Dan said in a rasping whisper.

"No, of course not." But her voice shook.

"You thought I'd hit you," he repeated.

"I don't know," she whispered. She glanced at him, seeing the stunned shock in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

She lifted one hand to her face, pressing it to her trembling mouth.

"Kelly." He stopped, as if he wasn't sure where to go from there. "Kelly, I would never hurt you."

"I know." And she did know it. In her heart she knew he'd never raise a hand to her. "I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault."

"Are you afraid of me?" His eyes looked so hurt, a rare vulnerability darkening them to stormy blue.

"No. No, please. I just...I didn't mean to...I'm sorry," she repeated, not knowing what else to say.

"You couldn't ever make me angry enough to hit you. You've got to know that."

"I do. I do know that." She stepped toward him, her hand coming out to rest on his arm. "I know that. I don't know what happened. It was an upsetting evening. I didn't mean to overreact like that."

Dan's hand was still shaking as he lifted it to her face, his fingers brushing across the tears on her cheek. "I would never hurt you," he said again, as if repetition could make her believe it.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. Just don't ever look at me like that again. Please, don't ever look at me like that"

There was strength in the way he caught her to him but it was strangely reassuring. Tempered strength that would never hurt. Kelly held him, telling him without words that she knew he would never hurt her.

Dan buried his face in her hair, drawing in the clean, gentle scent of her. Nothing had ever hit him quite so hard as that one moment when she'd looked at him with absolute terror. That she could think, even for a moment, that he would strike her had rocked him to the bottom of his soul.

He drew back, reaching up to brush her hair back from her cheek, his eyes searching hers. "I'd never hit you, Kelly. You have to believe that"

"I do." His hand fell away from her face as she stepped back and, for a moment, she felt an almost painful sense of loss. "I didn't mean to be so snappish earlier. I mean, it's really none of my business," she said, hoping he couldn't see what the words cost her. "I guess I just felt like an idiot Everyone but me knew what was going on."