The Best of Fools (Jane Austen Book 2) (37 page)

"What are you wearing?" he said. "Is that Two Face?"

"Oh, um, yes." I looked at my outfit and smoothed the pants. "It's the female version. I have a male version too."

"You? Is this your store or you just work here?" He stopped in front of my favorite. It was The Joker outfit for women. Purple dress and jacket with a small green vest and green scarf.

"It's mine." I stepped out from the counter. "I had two other girls help me with the sewing and they'll probably be working here soon if it works out."

"If it works out?" He meandered over to the men's side. "There's no
if
here. This is cool as shit."

I laughed. "Thanks."

"I'm telling my friends about this. You know how many guys would love this shit for their women?"

"Well, I don't consider it shit. Personally." I smiled.

"I like that," he said, picking up a Nightwing outfit. "This is sweet. I wish I had enough to buy it all."

"Batman fan?"

"I like the movies, but not obsessed or anything. This is awesome though. And what are you only like twenty-one or something?"

"Eighteen." I smiled. "I failed once though and I've had a lot of help. It's a huge dream of mine."

He held eye contact a little too long before continuing, "Yeah, I think it'll work out." He pointed to the ceiling. "What's playing on the radio?"

"Oh, it's my iPod. It's Batman soundtracks."

"Are you a huge fan?" He held up his hand. "Stupid question. Hey, if you need any extra help around here I can help. No charge."

"Oh, I—"

"Or I could just ask you out. Dinner? Maybe, uh...."

"Thank you." I tried not to laugh. "That would be nice, but I have an amazing boyfriend who...."

"Who...?"

"I was gonna say he stole my heart, but he didn't steal it. Somewhere along the way ... I gave it to him."

"Lucky dude." He gestured toward the counter. "Okay. I'll buy this one for now, but I gotta bring my friend Dietz in here. He's gonna flip."

I helped him check out and texted Alistair as soon as the guy left.

He responded,
It was a bloke?

Me:
Yeah, he seemed to really like it.

Him:
A bloke? He was probably trying to win a date.

Me:
Maybe. He did ask.

Him:
What did you say?

I smiled as I typed,
I told him I had a boyfriend who stole my heart, except he didn't actually steal it. I gave it to him.

Him:
You have a boyfriend?

Me:
Yeah. He's a terrible kisser, but it works for now.

Him:
Jane...
.

Me:
Alistair?

Him:
Thank you.

Someone else walked in, so I told him I'd text him soon. This time it was an older woman who did not look anything like someone who would like Batman stuff, but she seemed genuinely pleased as she thumbed through the clothes.

Finally, she looked over a rack of clothes and waved me over.

"Your sign out front caught my eye. See, my son is a very devoted comic book fan and this would make his day, but I'm looking for his favorite character, Jimmy Olsen."

"Oh. Actually that's from Superman. This line is only Batman-inspired."

"I apologize." She laughed quietly, embarrassed. "He likes Batman too. Some Harvey Bump character."

"Harvey Dent?" I chuckled. "He's one of my favorites too. Right over here." I showed her the Dent outfits for men. "And if he likes that he would probably like the Two Face one as well." I waved my hand over it. "My personal favorite design that we have."

"This is great. Thank you." She checked the price tags and didn't flinch. "Wonderful. I'll take both. He will be so pleased."

By the time I helped her to the door, another person showed up. This time an older man, maybe fifties or sixties. He looked around, then walked out without saying anything. Two outta three worked for me though. A few minutes later three girls walked in, maybe a little older than me. They loved everything, but somehow remained oblivious of the Batman-theme until one girl asked why the decorations around the store had bats. That's when I chimed in, explained things, and although they seemed to care less about Batman, they loved the clothes. Raved about The Joker dress and one of my Batman outfits for women. I had four variations of Batman ones in the front of the store, near the window. They said they'd be back for one as soon as payday came. I thanked them and texted Alistair. He could "hear" the excitement in my words. Could've been the four million exclamation marks at the end of everything I said. He was happy for me. And I was even happier knowing he was happy for me. But amidst all the happiness swelling inside me ... the biggest thing I wanted was to get back into his arms and fall asleep with his chest as my pillow. That's what I really, really wanted. Like, yesterday.

September went by extremely fast. I closed up the register and handled a few things in the back while Han put some of our latest creations on the racks.

The shop wasn't overwhelmed with customers like I hoped it would be, but stuff was leaving the racks fast enough that I had to get Han and Brooke back in by the end of the month. We sewed and sewed and sewed. It was fun. And I got to see Don more again, since he came to visit her whenever he had a plumbing job in the area.

Autumn and I had random talks whenever we could, but with my busy schedule and her
very
busy schedule, it was rare. I definitely missed her, but my life got so busy that I didn't think about it as often as I thought I would. I'm sure she felt the same. And I hated that. I kept telling myself it would be just like old times when she came back for the summer, but my skepticism liked to have a say and it was never the most encouraging.

Don appeared from the back and wrapped Han in his arms. I can honestly say I no longer had
those
kind of feelings for Don, but seeing them together made me jealous in a completely different way now. It had been weeks since I felt Alistair's skin against mine and days since I heard his voice. We kept missing each other and I think he sensed my doubts about long distance relationships, because he wanted me to fly in the first weekend of October, which was two days from now, instead of waiting until late October like we originally planned.

"Wanna come to dinner with us?" Donovan said with his hand permanently glued to Han's.

I shook my head and smiled. It's not that I didn't want to spend time with them. They were super good about making me feel like I wasn't a third wheel, but I needed to get home to
hopefully
catch Alistair before he fell asleep. I looked at the clock. 7:15pm. I sent him a text,
You still awake?

Waiting for you. Got my phone on as loud as possible so it wakes me up if I fall asleep
, he responded.

Be home soon.

Donovan's keys jingled as he pulled them out of his pocket. "Still need a ride to the airport on Friday?"

"Yeah, if you can." I did one last look around the place before walking to the back door with them.

They went out first and I locked the door behind me.

"Are you guys going back to Korea soon?" I said as I pulled my keys out of my bag.

"We may do that soon," Han said. "My family wants to see Donovan again. They like him very much."

"I knew they would. So are they getting better about you marrying an American?"

Don pulled her into him.

"Yes," she said, elbowing him. "So long as he keep a good job, right?"

I loved the way she smiled at him. So sweet and real. Her family accepted him well enough according to my last conversation with Don, but they also expected them to move to South Korea if they ever got married. I didn't want to think about that. Of course he said I'd be in the UK and it would be a little closer. It was a nice try.

Also couldn't imagine Don living in Korea and learning the language, but I knew he'd do it for Han. He'd do anything for anyone, but especially her.

He hadn't said one word to me about proposing, which told me he'd eventually ask her, unlike all of the other girls he fanatically obsessed over within a week. I wondered if he'd use the ring he got for me years ago, and if not, what would he do with it?

"How about we drive to your place first?" he said to Han. "Then I'll drive to dinner and we can stay at your place tonight?"

"Risqué!" I teased.

Han blushed, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and drove off. Don sat in his car and put the window down.

"Doing okay, Jazz?" he said while turning down the radio.

"Fine. Why?"

"Just making sure. Everything going okay with lover boy?"

"It's hard, but it's good. When are you gonna propose to Han? Are you just waiting for her family's approval?"

He put his arm on the window and looked ahead at the brick wall. "Nah. I don't know. I'm not in a hurry. It will happen if it's meant to."

"Wow." I flicked his temple. "Where's Donovan and
what
did you do with him?"

"I know. Weird." He made a funny face. "It's just not the right time. I want her to be comfortable if I do it."

"Will you tell her you almost proposed to eight million thousand other women?"

"Eight million thousand. Hm." He raised his eyebrows. "I learn new numbers every day." He laughed. "She knows everything about me. Well, everything that I know about me, she knows. Maybe more."

"Did that bother her?"

"No. I told her why I was like that."

"Which was ... why?"

He just looked at me.

"Oh. Right. Even with Zoe?"

"Not really. Not sure what the hell I was thinking there. Maybe just the fact that she needed so much help. I felt like I could protect her if I married her and got her out of that house. Then you moved out and it worked out." He pretended to wipe his brow. "Not that she's not a nice girl and all, but..." He laughed. "Well, you know."

I looked at the time. "I better go. I need to call Alistair. I hate this time difference stuff."

"He's doing okay? I like him, Jazz. You know I wouldn't say that about everyone."

"I know."

He smiled and put his car into reverse. "Go call lover boy," he said in his horrible British accent.

I ignored him and got into my car. I was going to wait until I was comfortable in bed, but I couldn't.

I called. And it rang. And rang. And ... look at that ... rang.

I hung up and tried again. And a third time before I got home. Nothing.

8:41pm my time. 1:41pm his time. I made myself leftovers and responded to a text from Zoe, who lived with Brooke, helping her clean and take care of her little one in exchange for free rent. Worked out great for both of them, but I missed having a roommate. Lonely as hell now that Alistair was falling asleep before I could call. He worked early mornings into the evening with a landscaping company. It was hard work and he was exhausted by the end of the day. But he wanted to save money so we could visit often. So I tried to let it go.

I tried to call again before I went to bed, but he didn't pick up. So I got comfortable, turned the light off, and gave it one more shot.

The screen turned black, then glowed.

"Alistair?" I whispered.

The screen showed a candle by his bedside, a tea cup, and a picture of me under his hand on top of his Carpe Diem tattoo.

"Alistair?" I whispered again, wishing I could reach through the screen and touch him.

He didn't stir.

I propped my phone on the pillow next to me and watched his chest rise and fall until I fell asleep.

When I woke up to my alarm going off, I read through the notifications on my phone. A bunch of nothing except he sent an email.

Dearest girl of mine,

I woke up for work to a beautiful, sleeping face on my phone. I don't remember talking last night. I can only imagine what sort of rubbish I said in my stupor. I'm so sorry, Jane. I hope you haven't forgotten the way it feels when we're together. It fades with each day, that intensity of being able to close our eyes and feel each other there, but I'll never forget. Don't forget. We need to hold on and we WILL have it again soon. Stay with me, girl. We will get through this. It's only an ocean between us, not like it's a universe, right? I loved waking up to your cute little face. I can tell you one thing, it was bloody hard to hang up the phone. I'm off to work now. Check the attachment. I sent audio.

Yours,

Alistair

I opened up the attachment and hit
play
.

{
Readers - You can LISTEN to this voicemail by clicking here
}

"Jane," he said. "I know we don't say this because it makes you uncomfortable, but I'm saying it now because if I don't I think I might regret going another day without being honest with myself and you. I love you, Jane Maryanne. I love you more than my own life. Stay with me."

Then he sang a song and ended it by saying, "I know you don't know many modern pop songs, but that was a song called
Stay with Me
by Sam Smith. I changed the words though, because I do know that I love you. And I'll always know, Jane." He paused, the audio crackled a bit, then he said, "Okay, I don't know what else to say now. This is a bit queer talking to my phone like it's you, but I had to say it and didn't want to write it out. All right, talk soon."

I replayed it at least seven times, then brought up my voice recorder, stared at the picture of him on my nightstand, and said, "Alistair. The Oxford English Dictionary has about 171,476 words, but there isn't a single word in there that can explain how I feel. So I'll keep it simple, although it's nowhere near what I really want to say." I waited, looked at his picture, then said, "I love you." I pressed my lips together and told myself
not
to cry. "I love you, Alistair. And I miss you so much it hurts."

{
Readers - You can LISTEN to this voicemail by clicking here
}

I sent it through as a text, set it beside my picture of him, and took a really long shower with a huge smile on my face. When I got out I checked my phone and he responded, "I can't tell you what that does to me."