The Biker's Past: A Cold Steel Motorcycle Club Romance Novella (6 page)

“
Samantha, you’re not the only reason I came here. I mean, you are, the main reason. I could have gone a lot of places, I guess, but I chose here. For you. But…I want out. I love my boys, I love the club, but I can’t deal with my father anymore. He’s running it into the ground. He’s gone rogue. I want out before he really hurts someone. Before…before my mother, it was all pretty harmless. I mean, sure, drugs and money, but no one…no one got
hurt
hurt. Now it’s like…it’s almost like he’s
trying
to leave a string of bodies behind, no matter where we go.

And I’m scared of him. I’m scared to leave…so is everyone else. None of us agree with the way he’s running things, but we’re all too damn scared to do anything about it. I thought, maybe, if I came here, where he wouldn’t follow…I could start over. I could be a new man. I could maybe try to do something good with my life.

But it’s not in the cards, Samantha. This will follow me. Forever. Wherever I go. I’m fortune’s fool.” He was speaking quickly, almost as though he needed to say it all fast or else never say it at all. It was like just saying the words scared him; I could see the anxiety in his eyes.

“
You’re a good girl, though, Samantha. You don’t deserve to get dragged down into my…my mess. Go home. Go home to your mother and father and your pool and your friends and college. You have everything in front of you. Don’t let me take that away,” he said, closing his eyes and pulling his hand away from mine. I could feel him drawing away, into himself, shutting me out.

“
No. Come with me. We’ll talk to Daddy, we’ll tell him everything, he’ll help you, he will!” I blurted out, desperate for him to return from whatever dark place he was going. If he wanted to escape, start over…if he just
told
Dad, we could help. Dad might not like the idea of Boon, but I was sure that if he could just think of Boon as that 12-year-old boy in that hotel room, he would change his heart.

“
Your father will shoot me right between my eyes if he ever sees me near you again, and you know it. This is it for me, Samantha. I have to go back to L.A. I have to face my father or…or just keep going. For as long as I can. No matter what he asks me to do…”

Boon’s voice trailed off, his eyes distant and glazed. I reached out for him again, but he pulled back even further. I didn’t know what to do. I’d never had to comfort a man like him before. I could only think of one thing. Reaching up to the straps of my tank top, I started to pull them down, my breath coming heavy. Boon looked up, shook his head.

“
Please, don’t. I…fuck, I want you, but it’s wrong. Not here. Not like this. See, this is why I’m bad for you. You think you need to do that to make me feel better? Make me stay? You didn’t come here for that,” he said. I blushed.

“
You don’t know what I came here for,” I whispered, letting the straps stay down but not pulling them further.

“
You came here for answers. You’ve got them. Now you can go,” Boon said, flopping down onto his back and throwing an arm over his face.

“
Can I ever see you again? Please? Just one more time…tomorrow night? Please, just stay that long. Please, Boon,” I said, pulling my straps back up. He groaned.

“
Can’t you make this easy for me, Samantha? This is already so hard…”

“
Please. Meet me tomorrow. Here,” I said, a flash of inspiration coming to me. I got up, grabbed the pad and pen from the nightstand, scribbled an address. It was someplace I’d been many times, but always alone. If this was going to be it, if Boon and I were going to be done, if that was what he really wanted, I at least wanted this.

One more night with him. One more dance of flesh on flesh. If it was going to end, I wanted it to end sweetly. I scribbled
9pm
under the address, and my name under that. What, if anything, would he remember of this?

“
I’ll be waiting, Boon. And then you can go. You can go and forget me forever, I promise,” I said, the words bringing unbidden tears to my eyes.
It’s a good thing I’m not in love,
I thought,
or this would sure hurt a lot more.

This is what I have to say to my past self, as she stood in that room, looking down at Boon: you don’t know the first damn thing about love, or hurt, or being hurt, or hurting. You still think this is lust. You still think you can get away free and clear. You have more to learn than you could ever imagine.

My parents were none too crazy about me going out the next night, but what could they do? I was 18, had my own car, they couldn’t exactly ground me. Of course, they thought I was going to meet the girls. Meanwhile, I hadn’t heard anything from Boon, didn’t know if he would even show up.

The roads I took turned from paved to gravel to dirt. The address I’d given Boon was on a country road outside of the city, a place where houses were few and far between. I wondered if Boon would have had any trouble on his bike on the roads. As the house that marked the spot drew near, my heart fluttered. I scanned the road for a glint of metal, a flash of light reflected off a blinker.

I didn’t see anything on the side of the road, but as I pulled off onto a patch of flat grass I thought I could see something ahead of me. I got out and began walking around the house, towards what I thought I’d seen. My heart sang. It was a motorcycle, leaning on its sidestand. I couldn’t tell if it was Boon’s, but who else’s could it be? I continued walking along the trail that led past the house and into the woods. The night was warm, muggy, full of the sounds of cicadas and owls. I wore a simple white dress.

The forest gave way to a small, sandy shore that gave way, in turn, to a large, clear lake. It wasn’t a popular spot, someplace that the tourists and locals alike didn’t really know about. That’s what made it so perfect to me: you could come out on a clear night, watch the water move and the moon in the water, be alone, and think. As I came out onto the small beach, I saw a silhouette against the water. Boon was standing in a tight shirt and jeans, staring out onto the lake.

“
You came,” I said, softly but loud enough for him to hear. My heart jumped as he turned; I could see the slightest gleam of his teeth as he smiled.

“
The one thing my old man taught me growing up is that if a pretty girl asks a favor, you do your best to make it happen,” he said, his voice cool and solid. I moved towards him, feeling my skin prick against the warm air. I felt almost as though I were gliding across the sand.

“
Thank you. You know, you probably look at my life, you see I have all these things, a home, a family, good grades, college…my life must look pretty easy to you. It is,” I said, beginning the speech I’d been rehearsing since the night before. As I moved closer to him, I could see his eyes on me, feel my body responding. I felt like we were both the water, and we were moving towards each other, ready to meet in a rushing wave.

“
I don’t know what you’re life has been like. I know it’s been a lot…rougher. But, you know, there’s something that’s been missing from my perfect American girlhood,” I said, finally within a foot of him. In the dim light reflected off the lake he only looked more handsome, more mysterious, more of a delicious puzzle that I could never solve – but which would also never bore me. My heart was racing. I wondered if he could hear it.

“
I never went skinny-dipping,” I said finally. I heard him chuckle, could just make out his face as his eyebrows rose.

“
That…that’s it? That’s what’s missing? Skinny-dipping? Oh, little sister…”

“
No, please, don’t do that. Don’t patronize me,” I said. I’d been ready for this reaction: I was ready for pretty much any reaction he could possibly have had. Outside of the four whole hours of sleep I’d gotten, I hadn’t stopped thinking about this moment. I reached out and grabbed his hand, slipping his fingers between mine, relishing the feel of every callous and line on his palm against my soft, smooth skin.

“
Just indulge me,” I said in what I hoped was a husky whisper. Suddenly, his hand was on my face, cupping my chin, and he was pulling me towards him, and then our mouths met, wet and warm and oh-so-sexy. Our tongues fell together and apart, his teasing, mine demanding. As a newly-deflowered virgin, I didn’t know what kind of lover I was, or what role I was supposed to be playing. All I knew was how my pussy tingled, how my nipples hardened, how my flesh stood up like needles, how much I wanted him.

Boon’s hand left my face, his other hand pulled away from mine, and he tore at my dress, trying to rip it off but eventually just dragging it over my head. I held my arms up, willing. As soon as the dress hit the sand, my hands were at his belt, pulling and tugging until it gave way. He pulled his shirt up as I shimmied his pants to his ankles. On my way down, I couldn’t help but notice how rock-hard he already was, his massive cock standing at attention before my face. I looked up at him. His hand fell to my hair, stroking it.

I leaned forward, licking the tip of his cock tentatively, tasting salty pre-cum on the tip. The taste was almost addictive. I wrapped my lips around the head, letting my tongue play over the soft flesh, exploring the texture, relishing the taste. He groaned, inspiring me further, and I put my hands on his thighs to brace myself.

Moving forward, I slipped another inch of his cock into my mouth, playing with the sides of the head with my tongue while sucking in. His grip on my head increased in pressure and I felt him pulling me forward, more of his cock slipping into my eager throat. I ran my tongue along the underside, still unsure of myself, still so new to sex and everything about it.

I looked up, hoping to see if I was doing it right. He had his head thrown back. Sensing my hesitation, he pulled my head even further, forcing more of himself into me. Almost too much. I gagged, spit flying from my mouth, and felt my teeth accidentally graze his flesh. I pulled back immediately.

“
Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I said in a rush.

“
I don’t fucking care,” he growled, the rough words turning me on even more, and pushed on my head again. I took him quickly, making sure to keep my teeth between my lips as I slid my mouth up and down on his member. It was pulsing in my mouth, I could feel a vein running along the underside, stroked it with my tongue, felt his thighs quivering.

I moved further and further, pushed along by his powerful grip, until I had taken in all I could handle. I let go of one of his thighs and grabbed what was left of his cock, stroking it slightly as I let him fuck my mouth, his hips thrusting into my throat. I could barely breathe, was almost crying, but it was so damn sexy, my body was on fire with need as he held my head in place.

When he finally let go, I was almost propelled backwards onto the sand. He looked down on me, that devilish grin that had so charmed me on his face, and suddenly took off running to the water. I had to laugh at that: I laughed even more at the holler he let out as the cold water hit him.

“
Fuck!”

I stood up, watching him wade into the water, wondering how cold it really was. He turned when the water was about halfway up to his chest, his eyes hovering over my perky breasts, alive with the tickling from the warm night’s breeze.

I did my best to give him a saucy smile as I followed him into the water; it was cold, but not as cold as he’d made it seem. With each step, the water lapped at my taut flesh, igniting more arousal within me.

“
Wait,” Boon called out. I stopped, waited, wondering what he’d say.

“
Pose for me,” he said, speaking just loud enough for me to hear him, his voice low and demanding. I blushed in the moonlight, thankful that he couldn’t see.
Pose? I’m not a model…
even through the darkness, though, I could feel his eyes moving hungrily over my young body. My B-cup breasts were jiggling as I steadied myself on the soft floor of the lake. I saw Boon’s arm moving in the water, realized he was stroking himself under the water. The thought of parading myself for him as he watched suddenly seemed very, very appealing.