The Billionaires Sub (15 page)

“I’m assuming you’ve never done this before,” he spoke in a low voice, something almost soothing, hypnotic, about it.

I shook my head.

“Good,” he said. “Because I want to make this good for you, and if it’s done right, it will be.”

I was going to respond, but then his tongue was
there
, probing and slick, working over the sensitive ring of muscle until it had gone from feeling weird to good to something else entirely. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I wasn’t naïve. I knew that people enjoyed this sort of thing, but I’d never seen the appeal.

Then again, I’d also never expected to enjoy a man turning me over his knee and spanking me either.

When I started to push back against his tongue, he straightened and I heard the sound of something opening. I looked over my shoulder to see him holding a bottle. A warm, cinnamon scent filled the air.

“We’ll take it slow,” he said as he spread some oil on his hands.

And he did.

First one finger, burning far less with the warm, slick oil than it had with soap. It still felt strange, something moving in and out of a place where I’d never had anything before. Then he slid in a second finger and I gasped. I pressed my face against the pillow, fingers clenching the sheets. He worked the fingers into me, scissoring them to stretch me until I was writhing, squirming.

“Does that feel good?” He pressed his lips against the base of my spine. “You want another one? Hmm? Want a third finger to get you good and ready for my cock?”

“Yes,” I moaned the word even before my brain finished processing the question. I just knew that I wanted whatever he had to give me, because I knew whatever it was, it would make me feel good.

I whimpered as a third finger push its way into me. The muscles in my legs quivered, and he ran his hand down my spine. It settled at the top of my ass and he held me there as his fingers twisted inside me, igniting nerve endings I hadn’t known existed.

“Almost there, baby,” he said softly. “In a minute, I’m going to take out my fingers and put in my cock. I’m going to fuck your cherry ass nice and slow, see how long it takes you to come.”

My eyelids fluttered even as I felt my hips moving, pushing back on his hand, wanting more, wanting to ride that edge of painful pleasure. Then it was gone and I was left feeling empty, needy.

I made a sound of protest that turned into something else as the head of his cock began to press forward.

“Relax, breathe.”

I kept repeating his words over and over even as my body wanted to protest the intrusion. It was the strangest sensation, uncomfortable and almost painful, but the intensity was pleasurable too, in a new, unique way.

For a few minutes, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand the overwhelming sensations flooding me. But then, they eased as Cross found a steady rhythm, allowing my brain to sort through things, to adjust. And I could move my hips, push back against him to get him deeper, closer.

He laid his body over mine, his chest against my back, and he slid his hands beneath me. One managed to get under my breast, fingers rubbing my nipple. The other went lower, finding my clit and pressing against it. My hips jerked and I cried out.

“Come for me, baby.” Cross mouth was against my ear.

I did. And then I came again even as Cross was emptying himself into my ass, his mouth on my shoulder, leaving another mark on my skin. I felt loose, like every limb in my body had been pulled apart and then put back together, just not as tight. I knew my body relaxed after an orgasm, but this was something different. As if the combination of everything we’d done today had somehow wrung every last bit of tension out of me.

I winced when he pulled out of me, but didn’t move as he climbed off of the bed. I could feel myself wanting to drift on the haze of orgasms and and good sex, and I didn’t try to stop it. I wanted to just lie there, hovering, without thoughts rushing through my head, without having to think or do, just be.

I didn’t move, not even when I felt a soft, damp cloth moving over my body, between my legs. I twitched when it touched the more sensitive parts of me, but didn’t say anything. Cross didn’t say anything either. When he came back, he just climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling the covers over us and tucking me back against his chest.

We drifted together then, neither of us saying anything for the longest time. I knew he wasn’t completely asleep, because his fingers kept gently combing through my hair, brushing against my temple. When he finally did speak, I wasn’t entirely surprised. I’d had a feeling there was something he’d had in the back of his head most of the day.

“They’re going to find your sister.”

“I know.” I knew he wasn’t done. That hadn’t been a statement of comfort, but rather an introduction into whatever he was thinking.

“When they do, we’ll have to decide where this is going.”

I nodded, glad I was facing away from him and he couldn’t see the tears forming in my eyes. “I know.”

“This past week with you wasn’t anything I’d planned,” he continued. “I thought I might have a bit of a challenge, something to make my life interesting, a break in the monotony.”

“Juliette,” I said, understanding what he meant.

“But then everything started to happen,” he continued. “And it wasn’t the right time to talk about where we wanted things to go. It still isn’t. But it will be. Soon.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice to stay steady. I didn’t want to have that talk, even though I knew we had to. When we were at the cabin, it was like we’d been in a little bubble, just the two of us. There’d been all of the same crazy stuff going on around us, but it hadn’t touched us there. Like the world around us had paused, or moved slower, giving us a pocket of time all our own.

But that wasn’t real. I’d needed the break from the real world, needed to have a place to hide for a bit. We were back, and once Juliette was found, things would have to go back to the way they had been. Work and life. A life that hadn’t included a relationship, or whatever the hell this was.

“Shh,” he murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m just feeling a bit maudlin at the moment. Go to sleep. You’re safe here. I’ve got you. We don’t need to worry about any of this just yet.”

I nodded again and worked on slowing my breathing. I didn’t want to fall asleep, not anymore. I wanted to savor the time I had with him because I knew there wasn’t much of it left. He’d admitted that he’d been grooming me, but I wasn’t an idiot. He was enjoying teaching me, but that didn’t mean he’d still want me when all the teaching was done. The best I could hope for was a few more weeks. Then he would move on. And so would I.

Except now, I wasn’t sure that I could.

I’d told myself I was going into this with my eyes open, that I’d known what it meant when I’d told him I wanted him to teach me, that I hadn’t expected more. But I hadn’t gotten it, hadn’t understood what it would mean to me to have to trust someone so completely. What it would feel like to have someone protect me, take care of me, the way Cross had.

I didn’t know how much time passed, but I was still awake long after I assumed Cross had fallen asleep. Then I heard him sigh, felt his arms tighten around me.

“What am I going to do with you?”

He was barely whispering, and I had to strain to make out the words. He thought I was asleep.

“You turned my whole fucking world upside-down, Hanna. I can’t ask you to stay with me, to be a part of a life full of scrutiny and jealousy. I can’t hope that...”

His voice trailed away, and I was afraid that he wouldn’t start again, that he wouldn’t finish that sentence. He didn’t. He said something else instead.

“I’ll protect you, sweetheart. Even from me.”

He didn’t speak again, and I finally felt him relax against me. He slept, and I knew, eventually I would too. I was too tired, physically and emotionally, to stay awake much longer. That had been the entire point of me asking him to help me forget. A deep and dreamless sleep.

I wanted to sleep, to not think about the way my life had changed so much in such a short period of time. I wanted the darkness. I wanted not to have to think about what Cross had said and what it meant.

I squeezed my eyes closed, let the tears that wanted to come slide down my cheeks. I didn’t cry, didn’t sob. I just let the saltwater soak into the pillow and waited to slip under.

When it finally came, I let the relief come with it, welcomed it. I didn’t know how long it would be until I felt anything good ever again.

Chapter Nineteen

At the cabin, Cross and I hadn’t actually slept together. We’d both dozed a bit after sex, but we’d always both woken up and gone back to our separate bedrooms. I’d slept well there, whether it’d been a nap in Cross’ arms or back in the guest bed. I hadn’t had a restful night last night, however. I’d slept deep, but was plagued with bad dreams.

Some were about Juliette. Getting a call from the detectives that they’d been too late, they’d found her body. Our parents blaming me for not having realized Emmalyn’s involvement earlier. Being arrested for being a bad sister and spending all of my time having sex instead of looking for Juliette. The cops finding Juliette alive, but her hating me for being with Cross.

I had ones about him too. Ones where he told me that I wasn’t enough for him, that I hadn’t been a fast enough learner. Ones where he chose Juliette over me, the two of them sharing a passionate kiss that I was pretty sure would’ve eventually turned into something else. The worst one was when he proposed, then abandoned me at the altar because I wasn’t enough.

I wasn’t entirely sure that they were separate dreams, any of them. They seemed to bleed, one into the next, until I wasn’t sure if I was really dreaming or if this was now my life. I tried to wake myself, but was too tired. Sometimes, I was aware of arms holding me, but I couldn’t dwell on them, couldn’t let myself remember where I really was.

It was the shower that finally woke me up. Perhaps I’d subconsciously felt or heard him getting out of bed, but it was the soothing sound of water that made me open my eyes. I was alone in bed, but I’d known that as soon as I realized I was hearing a shower and not rain.

I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. The room was still fairly dark, but the red lights on the clock on the other side of the bed said it was nearly nine in the morning. I ran my hands over my face. I needed a shower, and I definitely didn’t want to be in here when Cross came out. Even if he dressed in the bathroom, the intimacy of going in there after him, smelling his shampoo and soap, it’d be too much. I wasn’t quite coherent enough to deal with trying to pretend that I hadn’t heard what he’d said last night, and that conversation was definitely one to have after a couple cups of coffee.

I climbed out of bed, awkwardly aware that I was naked...and sporting several reminders of the sex marathon Cross and I’d had the previous day. Not to mention that my body throbbed with every step I took. No matter what happened between the two of us in the future, this past week was definitely going to be one of those that I’d look back on as an old woman.

I picked up the bag I’d brought from the apartment and carried it across the hall to the guest room where I’d woken up that first day. I turned the water to as hot as I could handle and stood under the spray with my eyes closed, not thinking about anything in particular. By the time I got out, my skin was pink and my head was as clear as I was going to get it.

I dressed in my favorite pair of jeans and shirt, wanting the comfort of familiar clothes on what was sure to be a strained day. I didn’t know what Cross and I were going to spend the day doing while we waited for an update from the detectives, but I wasn’t sure I could handle more sex at the moment. Physically, I was sore, but more, emotionally, I was drained. He said we didn’t need to talk yet, but I didn’t think I could deal with more sex without having that discussion.

I was on my way to the kitchen when my phone rang. I fumbled in my pocket for it, my pulse beginning to race when I saw the caller ID.

“Hello?” I hurried down the hall, not wanting to be alone if this was bad news.

“Miss Breckenridge? This is Detective Bison.”

“Yes?” I was planning on sticking to one word questions and answers until I was sure I could speak in a steady voice.

“We found your sister.”

My knees almost buckled and I put my hand on the doorframe to catch myself. I closed my eyes, focusing on the next words the detective said.

“She’s okay.”

I would’ve gone to the floor if a pair of strong arms hadn’t wrapped around me just then and held me up. Tears streamed down my face as I forced myself to keep listening. There was more.

“She appears unhurt, but we sent her to the hospital just in case. She’s at Unity Medical Center in West Hollywood. Emmalyn Baxter and Howie Pant were both arrested at the scene.”

There was silence, and I knew he was waiting for me to speak. Finally, I managed to get words out around the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”

“Good day, Miss Breckenridge.”

He ended the call before I could reply, though I wasn’t sure if that was just his usual style or because he was annoyed at me. Honestly, I really didn’t care. Only one thing mattered right now.