The Black & The White (34 page)

“
That’s real cruel,
Isabelle. Fuck!” Stephen exhaled. “That was really
rude.”

I rolled my eyes. I was mad. He had,
somewhere along the line, manipulated me into liking him more than
I wanted to.

Arriving at the restaurant, I spotted
Jeffrey standing outside with a bicycle.

“
Nice bike,” I said as I
gave him a hug and then a kiss on each cheek.

“
You like it?” he asked. “I
hope so, because it’s yours,” he said.

“
Mine?! Wait. But it’s not
my birthday. It’s awesome. Oh, my God, this is so
great!”

“
I saw it in the flea market
the other day and thought it would be a good bike for you. I mean,
you’re always taking cabs. This is a cheaper, and cuter, way to get
around!”

“
It is so awesome, but I
can’t take it. I feel bad. How about if I pay you back!”

“
No need. You can just visit
me more at the restaurant on the bike, every day for the next week
and it will pay for your cab fare here.”

Stephen kept calling me on the phone
as Jeffrey and I stood outside his restaurant talking.

“
Turn that phone off. You’re
getting too popular for me, Isabelle,” Jeffrey said.

I put my phone on vibrate and
concentrated on Jeffrey. He was so cute.

I received a text message from
Stephen. “Please say you will see me. I am sleeping in NY
tonight.”

A moment passed before he wrote me
again. “I really will be miserable to spend my night in NYC without
you. Perhaps for the best— I don’t want to overstep my rules or
yours.”

“
Busy girl,” Jeffrey
commented, indicating the activity on my phone.

“
It’s just work,” I said
before turning my phone on silent mode.

Jeffrey and I sat on the steps in
front of the restaurant. He talked about the book on Buddhism he
had been reading. “I just want to surround myself with people with
good energy,” Jeffrey said. He told me about a spiritual adventure
he wanted to take, about climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, about going to
Macchu Pichu with someone he loved.

The way Jeffrey spoke always made me
feel calm. I moved to sit closer to him. He put his arm around me
as I dropped my head onto his shoulder. We sat in silence for a
little while just watching the action on the street, never going
inside the restaurant. There was something so sweet about that
moment that I wanted to cry. I felt safe in his arms and didn’t
want to leave. He lifted up my chin that was nestled in his arms
and tried to kiss me. Not knowing why, I pulled back although part
of me wanted to kiss him.

I rode my bicycle home around
midnight. I pedaled the old, golden Raleigh bike in the cold. My
new, stylish Prada bag sat in the metal basket in the front of my
handlebars.

As I pedaled, I could not help but
think about the laundry list of wonderful qualities Jeffrey
possessed. Everything about him was perfect. He was a boy I could
take home to my mother. I imagined how I would introduce Jeffrey to
my mother, how she would react. I knew she would like him. I
considered what our kids would look like. They’d be tall, smart,
athletic, spiritual, kind, and loving, I concluded. I thought about
how Jeffrey would treat my mother. Would he consider her his own?
Would he like my mother’s cooking? I couldn’t help but smile. She
would be proud that I’d brought home such a lovely man.

I clumsily carried the metal bike up
the three flights of stairs to my apartment. When I got in, I
called Kim and told her about Jeffrey’s gift.

“
Awww. He’s a cute one! A
definite keeper. I told you!” she said without a slight indication
of jealousy. “You two are perfect for each other. He’s such a great
guy, and I love you both. He’s super nice! I really do like him. So
sincere. Unlike all of these other guys. And he’s single! You kiss
him yet?”

“
No, but I almost
did.”

“
Just ditch David. You had
your fun. Jeffrey is sweet and he would never hurt you,” Kim said.
“Plus, the gossips are saying that David is dating someone else
anyway.”

“
David is a celebrity. I’m
sure he dates like hundreds of women. But you’re the one who told
me to go out with David, remember?” I reminded her how she had
wanted to see me on the cover of the gossip columns.

“
Okay, that was just a lapse
in judgment…it was just exciting. But Jeffrey never spoke about me
the way he speaks about you. Truly, Isabelle, he’s different than
most guys. He still believes in soul mates and romance and all of
that stuff.”

I felt my heart settle in my throat. I
wasn’t sure why I was so emotional, but I had been wanting to cry
ever since I had left Stephen’s apartment.

“
I know, Kim. He’s really
special to me. I don’t know why I’m scared, but I am scared. I like
him so much. I don’t want to get hurt.”

After I got off the phone with Kim,
Stephen phoned and asked me to come over to stay the night. “We’ll
just go straight to bed. I promise,” he said.

I found myself riding my new bike in
the cold all the way down to SoHo with my work clothes in a bag.
“You shouldn’t be doing this,” I said to myself over and over again
as I rode. Despite my reluctance, I continued to pedal
anyway.

“
Hooray, you’re here!”
Stephen yelled from the top of the fire escape when he saw me. He
looked at my bike and laughed and then came down to help me bring
it up. “Ha! It has a bell and a basket too!” He laughed again at
the antiquity of my bicycle. But I was proud of my gift from
Jeffrey and was slightly offended by Stephen’s comments.

“
Yes, it might be old, but
it’s solid, reliable, stable and, always there when I need it,” I
said. I looked at him to see whether he was able to understand my
inference.

We reached the top of the stairs.
Stephen struggled to stabilize my bicycle against the wall. “That’s
awesome. This bike doesn’t even have a kickstand,” he
said.

We walked into the kitchen and I
looked at the flowers he had bought me earlier that day. Along the
side of the vase was a glass of hot tea he had recently prepared
for me.

He led me by the hand to the bedroom,
slid me under the well-worn covers, and held me in his arms. Cozy,
I laid my head against his chest, and we fell asleep
together.

T
hat weekend, Jeffrey and I maneuvered our way through the
streets of New York on our bicycles. New York on a bike seemed
different. There were buildings I had often passed that now seemed
new to me.

“
You haven’t been here long
enough, but this city is always changing. New York really does
amaze me,” Jeffrey commented as we slowly peddled through the Lower
East Side. “This neighborhood used to be bad back in the day. Very
poor.”

“
Do you notice that there
are hundreds of museums in New York, and most New Yorkers don’t
even go to them?” Jeffrey said as we maneuvered our way through a
busy intersection. I rode my vintage bike with a basket. He rode a
titanium mountain bike.

We got off our bicycles to park on the
sidewalk. The way Jeffrey locked our bicycles together at the
spokes seemed intimate and symbolic. There was no question that
Jeffrey liked to care for me without having to think twice. For
him, it was his natural way of being.

We walked through the cramped quarters
of the Tenement Museum with a tour guide. Jeffrey’s hand was
constantly at the small of my back. I felt protected by him. I
reached my arm around him, and we smiled at each other. I let my
guard down and concentrated on what the tour guide had to
say.

I was incredulous at the living
conditions he described for the 1900s, which didn’t seem all that
far back in history.

“
I live in a
1,700-square-foot apartment by myself in New York, and I got mad
this morning that my toilet wasn’t working. Then I come here and
realize that people didn’t even have running water or heat!”
Jeffrey said as we walked our bikes. “I mean, come on. They could
have fit more than one hundred people in my apartment and I live by
myself.”

On the bike ride back, I thought about
Stephen. I wondered what he was doing right then with his wife and
kids. I wondered if he was thinking of me, and then I had to stop
myself from thinking about him any further.

We rode a little farther and found a
hotdog stand with a line that extended outside.

“
Can you eat street food? Or
have you become a food snob who can only eat at fancy restaurants
now?” He was teasing me.

“
That wasn’t very nice,” I
said, laughing.

“
Don’t sweat it! It happens
to the best of us, and then we realize that the best food in New
York is offered on carts. You need to broaden your horizons, young
Isabelle.” He smiled as he poked my ribs with his index
finger.

“
Everyone’s got to have
street meat. It’s what makes you a New Yorker. Let me induct you
into the city. Madame”—Jeffrey bowed—”With this hotdog you are now
part of New York.” He tapped each of my shoulders with a hotdog
bun. A dab of ketchup landed on my jacket.

I curtsied before I kissed him on his
forehead. When I pulled away, we looked at each other and nearly
kissed. It was an awkward moment. I pulled away, and we both
chuckled. It was the first time we had even come close to
kissing.

As we sat down on the soiled steps of
a building enjoying our meal, I received a phone call from
David.

“
That phone of yours, I tell
you. I never get to have you all to myself,” Jeffrey
said.

I looked at him and stuck out my lower
lip. “Sorry,” I mouthed to him as I got up to take the
call.

It was David. “Hey, Isabelle, I’m in
town for a few days. I got a break from taping. Thought you and I
could grab a bite or something. Don’t blow me off,
please.”

I looked over at Jeffrey. He was still
eating his hotdog and feeding part of his bun to the
pigeons.

“
Dinner? How’s
Monday?”

There had been rumors
circulating in the gossip magazines about David’s dating some girl.
Both Kim and Carin had teased me. I denied the possibility that it
was me but secretly enjoyed it. David hated having his photo taken
in public with anyone. As a result, we always ended up spending
time with each other in inconspicuous restaurants where no one
would bother us. There was a part of me that wanted to be seen with
him, pictured in a gossip magazine or an editorial spread in
Glamour
magazine about
the new “hot young couple.”

“
Sorry about that,” I said
as I made my way back to Jeffrey.

“
It’s okay. I get it. Nice
guys finish last.” He pretended to pout before he smiled and rubbed
my hair. “Just teasing.”

I smiled back, relieved he wasn’t
upset.

Morning turned to afternoon. I was so
comfortable that I had forgotten about the time. It reminded me of
the way Dani used to make me feel.

“
So how’s the lovely Kimmie?
I heard she is going through a tough time,” Jeffrey
said.

I was still a little jealous whenever
he mentioned her.

“
She’s fine. I think she’s
busy with work, if that’s what you mean.” I was intentionally
evasive.

“
I was talking about Eric,”
he said.

“
How do you know about
Eric?” I had thought Kim had kept that relationship a
secret.

“
Small world. Eric and I
went to school together. Did you meet a guy by the name of
Peter?”

Oh, my God, I thought, suddenly. What
else does he know? I felt an overwhelming sense of
guilt.

“
I met him once before,” I
replied, thinking of Peter—the first married man I had ever
kissed.

“
Well, Eric, Peter, and I
were good friends at Cornell. It’s a small school, and everyone
knows everyone there. Then Eric and I worked together in finance.
My girlfriend was looking for a job in The City, so I introduced
Eric to Kim. He hired her, and then they started sleeping
together.”

I nodded in acknowledgement. “Were you
dating Kim at the time?” I asked.

He nodded.

“
It was hard at first, but I
didn’t want to be involved in that relationship. I stopped talking
to them both for a while.” He looked at me, seeming to assess my
reaction.

“
I also know Eric’s wife
very well. But I distanced myself from everyone.”

“
Weren’t you mad that Kim
started to date your friend?” I asked.

“
I mean, you can’t force
people to like you. It is what it is,” Jeffrey replied. “I’m over
it now. I was caught in the middle. I didn’t want to seem like the
jilted lover. I mean, how could I tell Eric what he was doing was
wrong without sounding jealous or sounding like I was trying to
ruin his relationship with Kim? They’re consenting
adults.”

“
When’s the last time you
saw him?”

“
Yeah, so that night in the
Hamptons was like one of the first times I had seen everyone in a
few years.”