The Blackout (16 page)

Julia smiled at him.  “That’s mighty fine.”  She looked at Gary, and he could tell she had more coming.  So he waited for her to get there.  “Honey, we love havin’ you here.  You been a big help round here.  But don’t you wanna know who you are?  What if your family is worrin’ ‘bout you?”  

Gary sat down heavily at the kitchen table.  “Yes, of course I want to know who I am.  But how am I supposed to find out?” 

She plopped a loaf of bread and a jar of homemade strawberry jam in front of him.  “I don’t know, but you best think on it.  You could stay here forever, but do you really want to?” 

24.

Things were different after the executions.  It was quieter.  Movements were more stilted, people were more leery.  Molly wasn’t sure it was a change for the better.  Jimmy hadn’t said much to her about it, and she hadn’t asked.  She wasn’t sure she even wanted to know anything more.  She simply tried to do her best to live her life the best way she knew how.  But she found even that was difficult anymore.

It had been ninety days since the Blackout.  Ninety.  Three months without contact from Gary.  Molly was feeling the loss especially heavily that day, for some reason.  She was grouchy and depressed all day.  When she was alone, she found herself tearing up, and when she was with poor Beth, she snapped rudely at her.  Molly didn’t host a lively literature discussion that day.  Instead she had them quietly writing their thoughts so she could dwell on her depression. 

She was sitting at the kitchen table when Beth found her at the end of the day.  She sat down across from Molly. 

“
What
is wrong?” she asked, exasperated.

“Nothing,” Molly said, not taking her eyes off her paperwork.

“You’re acting like a total bitch.  I can tell something is wrong.”

Molly finally looked up to find her staring intently, more concern than irritation on her face.

Molly sighed.  “I don’t know what’s wrong, Beth.  I’m just upset today.  It’s been ninety days since I’ve heard from Gary, and I’m just sick of being lonely and worried and just…not knowing!” 

The words ‘not knowing’ echoed around the kitchen.  She hadn’t even realized she’d raised her voice.  Beth sat back in the chair and folded her arms over her chest.

“Sorry,” Molly said.

“Why?  Sorry for what?  For having emotions?  For feeling cheated in all of this?  For wanting this to be over?  What?” 

“No, I guess I’m not sorry for any of those things.” 

Beth smiled with one side of her mouth.  “Listen, why don’t you come over tonight and have dinner with us?  It’ll be fun!” 

“I’m not sure you want my grey cloud of depression hanging over your dinner table.”

“Sure we do!” she said enthusiastically, and Molly chuckled a little.  “Come on!  Now we’ll have a fourth to play Cranium!  I’ll let you be on Seth’s team.” 

Molly panicked internally.  “What makes you think I would want to be on his team?” 

“He’s only the best Cranium player ever.  He’s unbeatable!  If you’re with him, you’re guaranteed to win.” 

Whew
.  “Well, I guess it could be fun.” 

Beth got up and pushed her chair under the table.  “Darn right.  We eat at six.  See you then!”

“Wait!  What can I bring?”  Molly didn’t want to be a burden on their food supply.  She had her own rations she could provide.

“Nothing but your smiling face.”  Beth called as she walked out.

“See ya,” Molly quietly called after her.  She sat back in her chair, replaying the events in her head.  She supposed it might be time to make friends with people her own age.  Jimmy was great, but she viewed him as more of a father figure than a friend. It was past time to do something halfway normal – go have dinner with friends!  Seeing Seth there was a bit of a bonus. 

I mean, what could it hurt just to look at him?
  Guilt washed over her. 
How would I feel if Gary was ogling another woman, thinking ‘what could it hurt just to look’? 
Molly considered cancelling, but that would require walking over there to tell them she wasn’t coming.  She steeled herself against Beth’s handsome brother and tried to mentally prepare herself for a long night.

That night, Molly took a deep breath and knocked on the door to the McMiller residence.  She’d dressed in a pink button-down blouse and jeans.  No need to look like she was trying too hard. 

Beth’s mom answered the door.  “Hello dear!  How are you?”  Before Molly could answer, she said, “Come in, come in!  I’ve got a few things simmering on the stove, and the kids are in the living room.”  Mrs. McMiller was one of the few people in town who had a gas stove, and because of the way she’d rationed, she was the only one in town with gas left, except of course for Jimmy. 

“Thank you, Mrs. McMiller.  Can I help you with anything?” 

“Oh no!  Go on and visit with the kids.  Dinner’ll be along shortly.  We’re having our pork rations tonight!”

The town’s farm had become fairly sustainable, but only because of the rationing efforts of Burt and the others in charge.  Hoarding and gorging were strictly prohibited, so everyone had just enough to stay fed and healthy.  But they only got to have some kind of meat about once a week, unless they went and caught fish themselves, so Molly knew the pork was special. 

“Well thank you for including me!  I can’t wait to taste it!” 

Mrs. McMiller waved a hand over her shoulder as she walked toward the kitchen, and Molly headed for the living room. 

The room was typically decorated for the area: a floral pattern covered the walls to the chair rail, then changed to a light grey color down to the floors.  Antique-style furniture in coordinating colors was scattered throughout.  There was a fireplace in the corner, and a dusty, useless TV hung above it.  Beth and Seth were playing cards when Molly walked in. 

Seth had his back to her, so Beth saw her first.  “Oh, hey Molly!  I’m glad you decided to come!”  She put her cards down and stood to greet Molly.  Seth followed suit. 

“Good to see you again,” he said as he looked straight into Molly’s eyes.  She felt like he could read her betraying thoughts, so she tried to hide her blush by turning to Beth.

“So, whatcha playin?” 

“Nerds.  Wanna join?  We can start over.” 

“Of course, when I was beating you for once!”  Beth complained.

“No, that’s fine.  Finish up.  I’ll learn your strategies so I can cream you both after dinner.” 

They laughed and quickly finished their game, which left Seth victorious after quite a remarkable comeback, much to Beth’s disappointment.  It was good timing, because just as they were separating the cards, Mrs. McMiller called for dinner. 

Seth was the perfect gentleman, helping his mother carry food to the table while Beth got drinks for everyone.  For Molly, it was like being part of a family again.  She sat in her chair watching everyone bustle around with their assigned tasks and relished that, even if only for a moment, she could be a part of this.

Conversation flowed easily between the four of them during dinner.  Molly learned that Seth was a laborer for the town, maintaining the wall and helping folks fix things in their homes – basically a handyman for the eighteenth century.  He had been a mechanic prior to the Blackout, so he had some trouble transitioning to general fix-it work, but he said he’d learned a lot in the last three months, and continued to learn how to use the tools available for tasks they weren’t built for.  Molly thought that was something they all had learned to do in the last three months. 

Lord knows I’m not built to be teaching anyone younger than eighteen!
  Molly thought.

Beth had been working on her PhD in Mathematics when the Blackout happened.  She’d wanted to be a mathematician.  Although she was putting her knowledge to good use, it wasn’t anywhere near what she’d intended to do.  She’d dreamed of having her own office with white boards and numbers everywhere, solving the world’s problems and discovering new numbers.  She never thought teaching fractions to small children was in her future. 

“Once the power comes back on, I want to move to New York and study with Derek Houser.  He’s really up and coming in the field.”  She paused.  “At least he was before the Blackout.”  It was the first they’d talked about something like this out loud since the first week. 

“What will you do, Molly?” Seth asked.

She thought for a moment. 
My life is so different now.
What will I do when the power comes back on?

“Once the power comes back, the first thing I plan to do is get a hold of Gary.  Find out where he is and what happened, and figure out how to get him home.”

Mrs. McMiller looked sympathetically at her.  “I can’t imagine worrying about my husband like that for all this time.  It’s almost like you can’t live your life.  I mean, if you knew he was alive and just fine, you could move forward knowing you’d be reunited soon.  If he wasn’t, well you could move on, as difficult as that might be.” 

“Soon is sort of a nasty word anymore, isn’t it?”  Molly asked her plate while she pushed her green beans away from the mashed potatoes.  She looked up at the happy family seated at the table with her.  “He’ll be home ‘soon.’  The power will be back ‘soon.’  You’ll be safe ‘soon.’  What does that even mean?  It’s become an empty promise.”  Suddenly she wasn’t very hungry, and she set her fork down.

Mrs. McMillan smiled.  “My my, that’s rather dark, isn’t it, dear?  I think ‘soon’ is a sign of hope.  The promise that before long, you’ll get what you need.  And if you don’t, you didn’t need it as much as you thought you did.  Never forget dear, you won’t be left wanting if you know where to keep your faith.”

“Huh,” she said.  It was all she could muster.  Her eyes shimmered with all the broken promises that had been laid at her feet in the last ninety days. 

Seth cleared his throat.  “Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m looking forward to that dessert, Mom.” 

“Yes, well, you’ll have to wait until the dishes have been cleared!  If you’re so excited about it, why don’t you get started?” 

Molly gave Seth a grateful glance, thanking him for changing the subject.  He smiled in return. 

The pie was fantastic, complete with some decadent whipped cream.  Milk was so scarce and spoiled so quickly without proper refrigeration, it was seldom used for anything but drinking and mixing into foods.  It was never used for treats anymore.  But Molly was so glad Mrs. McMiller had chosen to splurge.  The cream was heaven in her mouth.  It was light and sweet and everything she had taken for granted ninety-one days ago. 

They finished the evening with a game of Cranium by candlelight.  As Beth promised, Molly got to be on Seth’s team, and they won by a landslide.  Beth proposed a second game and a partner change-up, but Mrs. McMiller said she was tired and wanted to go to bed.  So Molly thanked her for a lovely meal and evening and off she went, but not before doling out orders.

From the top of the stairs she hollered down.  “Seth, don’t you make Molly walk home alone in the dark.  You be a gentleman and make sure she gets home safe, you hear me?” 

“Yes, Mom.”  Then he turned to Molly and gave her that look - the one that made her feel like he was looking at her soul- before shouting back up the stairs.  “Don’t worry.  I’d never let anything happen to her.”

They walked quietly in the darkness at first, a casual distance apart.  They weren’t out of reach of each other, but they weren’t close enough to bump by accident either. 

Beth had abandoned Molly, claiming she was too tired and wanted to go to bed. 
Coward,
Molly thought, but then wondered who she was directing it at.

Seth took a deep breath and let it out again as sort of an
aaaahhh
sound.  “It’s a nice night.” 

“Yes.  It’s that time of year.” 

“It’s about time.  I was sick of sweating my tail off at night.” 

“Mmm,” was all Molly could think to say to that.  She wasn’t sure she could handle visualizing Seth’s sweaty ‘tail’ at that moment. 

He jammed his hands in his pockets and walked, kicking small rocks in front of him.  “I know you’re friends with Beth and everything, but if you ever need someone to talk to or whatever, you can always…I almost said call me, but you can’t really do that, can ya?” 

“Nope.  Not really.”  She realized too late that he’d gone out on a limb there and she left him hanging a little bit.  “But thanks for the offer, I’ll keep it in mind.” 
Idiot,
she thought. 

They rounded Molly’s street and her little house was barely visible in the moonlight, tucked between her neighbors.  “You know, I’ve always loved your house, even when we were kids.  I thought it was the coolest one,” Seth said.

“What?  That’s not true.  Why on Earth would a small boy pay any attention to one house over another?” 

A mischievous smile crept across his face.  “Probably because yours was the one we always said was haunted.”

Molly raised her right eyebrow.  “Huh.” 

“Yup.  Old Man Kratchet lived there, and used to collect kids.  They say his soul remains to torture the kids that are foolish enough to come too close to the house.” 

“Old Man Kratchet?  Like, Bob Kratchet, from
The Christmas Carol
?  Couldn’t you be a little more original than that?” 

“Hey, the Kratchet name is not exclusive to that story!  It’s true.  I’m surprised you haven’t seen him in all the years you’ve been living there.”

They walked up her porch steps and she turned to him.  “Somehow, I don’t think I’ll lose sleep tonight.” 

He put his hand on the door jam and leaned over her.  “Well, if you do, you know who to call, so to speak.”  He brought his face mere inches from hers.  She could smell his breath; remnants of pie filled her senses.  He leaned in even closer, and Molly started to panic. 

He’s going to kiss me!
The emotions battling in her mind left her frozen, reacting neither proactively or reactively.  Her desire for the kiss shocked and horrified her.  Her insides were in turmoil as he inched closer and closer.