The Blackout (20 page)

She was flabbergasted.  “Wow, Seth, this place is really amazing.  How did you find it?”  

He shrugged.  “Meh.  I poked around a lot when I was a kid.  Found quite a few spots like this.  None were as nice as this one, but ya know.  If you look around a little bit, this part of Florida is really quite nice.” 

He started walking and she stood there dumbly.  “I always thought this part of Florida was nice,” she said smugly. 

She and Dug took their time getting to the tree, needing to investigate every new smell, and by the time they arrived, Seth had a blanket spread, some crackers and a thermos set out, and was lounging against the trunk of the tree, staring out at the lake.  He was quite a sight to behold as they approached. 

“Why don’t you let Dug explore a little bit?”  Seth suggested as she sat down with Dug panting excitedly.  As much as she was using him for a security dog, she knew he would love to sniff around freely.  He was a good dog and wouldn’t go far, and under normal circumstances she would have taken him off-leash ages ago.  Thinking of how joyous he would be running in the grass made her forget about her own problems and she took the leash off, freeing her from the one tether to safety. 

Dug trotted away happily and she frowned, watching him go.  Seth laughed.  “Jeeze, Molly, he’s a good boy.  He won’t run off.” 

“Hmm?  Oh, no, I know.  I just…” She paused, scrambling for an explanation.  “I don’t know this area very well, so if he gets too far away I might not be able to find him.”

He leaned back against the tree and folded his hands behind his head.  “Well, then we’ll just have to stay here until he finds his way back to us.” 

She stretched out on the blanket next to Seth while Dug sniffed around the shoreline.  She closed her eyes, soaking it in.  “Ya know, Seth, I quite enjoy your slice of paradise.” 

“Me too.”

Molly dozed off.  In her dream, she was in the field with Gary.  She was lying with her head in his lap while he leaned against the tree.  He was running his fingers lazily through her hair while Dug rested his head on her leg.  They were complete.  Everything was as it should be.  She suddenly realized he was whispering.  She scrunched her eyebrows, straining to hear him. 

“
Wait for me.”
  It was like a voice on the wind.  Haunting. 
“Please God, let me find her.” 

She woke with a start, and Seth lifted his hand. 
Was he stroking my hair?
  She looked at him, puzzled. 

“You OK?” 

“Bad dream.” 

“What was it about?”

“Nothing,” she said shortly.  She sat up and tried to straighten her hair, trying to decide if he’d been touching her or if it was just that the dream seemed so real. 

“OK then.  Want some crackers?” 

“Sure,” Molly said, grateful for something to keep her mouth busy.

They ate their snack and chatted lightly about nothing in particular as the sun started to turn the sky shades of pink – what his mom might find in the attic to take to the Center, what book she was reading, things like that. 

He sighed heavily, clearly not wanting the day to end.  By then, Dug was lazily stretched out on the blanket, just close enough for Molly to pet or give him a cracker.

“Well,” Seth said reluctantly.  “I s’pose we should head out before it gets too dark.” 

“Yes.  I suppose we should.” 

They walked silently all the way back to Molly’s house.  She never bothered to put the leash back on Dug.  He walked next to her, tired from the day. 

When they got to the house, she opened the door for Dug and he trotted inside without so much as a goodbye to Seth. 

He chuckled.  “Well, I guess we tired the poor guy out.”

“Yup.  That was a great spot for him.  Thanks for taking us there.”   She meant it, too.  As risky as the day had been, she was glad she’d done it.  They’d found a wonderful new spot, and spent a beautiful day outside.  It was a good day. 

“No problem.”  He smiled that gorgeous smile that melted her whole body.  “Anytime.” 

She put her hand on the door, ready to follow Dug into the house.  “OK, well, I’ll see ya, Seth.  Thanks again.” 

But when she turned to wave he was on top of her, closing in for a kiss.  Each moment passed by like an eternity.  She could see him coming closer, powerless to stop it, part of her wanting it, part of her horrified by it. 

At the last moment, just as he was puckering up, she put her hands on his chest and pushed him away.  “Seth, what are you doing?”  It came out in her teacher voice, the one she use when she found one of the kids doing something bad.

“I’m sorry,” He sputtered.  “I just thought…since we’d had such a great day together…and you seemed like you really liked me…I guess I misunderstood.” 

She was sad in that moment.  Sad to have to hurt him, and sad for the loss of what they might have shared.  “Seth.” She made sure to look him in the eye.  “I’m married.  I love Gary very much, and although he’s not here right now, that doesn’t erase my love for him.  This will never happen between us.”  She didn’t add
as long as Gary’s alive
because she didn’t want to leave an ounce of hope for Seth.  She had to make sure this ended, here and now. 

“OK,” he said quietly.  “I understand.”  As he turned and began to walk away, he said, almost to himself, “Gary is a lucky man.”

Her heart broke.  She went inside and shut the door.  She sat down on the couch and cried.  She cried for Gary.  She cried for their future.  She cried for Seth.  But most of all, she cried for herself. 

31.

Gary had been with Judd and his family for five weeks.  To him, it seemed much longer than that, like an eternity, like he’d always been with them.  He couldn’t help but think it was five weeks of wasted time sitting, though, when he should have been trying to find her. 

Little by little bits and pieces of information came back, but never all at once.  One morning he remembered they had a dog.  It was a shaggy-looking thing that Gary actually cared a lot about once he remembered him.  But it took him another two days to remember the rest.

They’d gone to the shelter together that afternoon.  They had been married for about two years, and she’d bugged him for a dog for at least that long.  He agreed to go to the shelter just to look, so he told her to get any ideas of coming home with someone out of her head.  She did surprisingly well.  He could tell she left all her emotions in the car and walked into the shelter purposefully. 

They separated for a bit.  She was looking at puppies, but Gary found this one he couldn’t seem to walk away from.  He was smaller than the other two dogs in the pen with him, and getting trampled by them. 

When she walked up, Gary said, “What do you think of this guy?” 

“Which one?  They are kind of all over each other.” 

“The little one.”  He was lighter in color and shaggy.  Looked a little bit like the dog from Benji.  Most of all, he just looked happy.  Despite being caged outside during the Florida summer with an empty water bowl and two cellmates that were a bit overbearing, he seemed glad to be there.  Like he thought he was right where he was supposed to be. 

She found his paperwork attached to the door.  “Says he’s a two-year-old terrier mix, whatever that means.  But that’s as big as he’d get, which is nice.”  She looked him over.  “He’s a good size, I think.” 

“I like him.” 

“Well, do you want to see if they can take him out?”

“Yes.  Yes, I do.” 

They took down his number and went to the desk.  A few minutes later they brought him into a room where he could roam around.  He was scared and wouldn’t come close, but he wasn’t opposed to being petted either.  He was so thin.

“What do you know about him?”  Gary asked the worker who brought him in.

“He’s got a great personality, that’s for sure.  But he’s been here thirteen days. Tomorrow is his last day with us.” 

“Oh, did you find someone to take him?” she asked.  Gary couldn’t tell if there was hope or disappointment in her voice.

“No, they have a two-week limit here.  After that, they meet their maker.”

“What?” she exclaimed.

“We’ll take him,” Gary said.

“What?” she said again.

“I’ll leave you two alone.”  The worker left to wait just outside the door.

“We can’t leave him here,” Gary told her.

“I know, but I wanted a girl, and a puppy to boot.”  She looked at him.  “He is very cute.”  She considered.  “OK.  Let’s get him!” 

So they walked out with a dog because Gary couldn’t walk away.  It wasn’t what he’d expected, that’s for sure.  But he considered it one of the best decisions they ever made. 

Then, out of the blue, Gary had it.  He knew what he needed to know.  He was working in the orchard with Judd, trying to pick apples before the next frost, when it all came screaming back.  Her name, what she did, what he did, where they lived, everything. 

He dropped the basket of apples and they tipped over as he ran to Judd.

“Molly!  Her name is Molly!” he yelled.  Judd was startled, but Gary didn’t care.  “She lives in Florida, we live in Florida.  She’s a professor of English at a school near our house.  She rides a scooter to work every day.  We’ve been married over five years,” he kept talking as Judd stared incredulously.  “Judd, I’m a pilot!  I work for a small corporate company.  I was in Pennsylvania when the Blackout happened!  That’s why I’m alone!  I walked here!  Can you believe it?”  

The memories kept coming back and suddenly he knew exactly who he was and where he was supposed to be, and Virginia wasn’t it.  “Judd, I have to go.  I can’t stay here any longer.  I have to be with her.” 

“I’ll walk with you up to the house.  Let’s try to make a plan, OK?  If you’re too hasty about it you might end up further behind.  Ya know?”

“I guess.  All I know is I’ve wasted a lot of time I should’ve been spending working my way south.”

Judd was visibly hurt, and Gary regretted saying it immediately.  “Well, I don’t know about all that.  You’ve been a big help around here.  I know I’ll sure miss ya,”  he said.

“Oh, jeeze, Judd, I didn’t mean it like that.  Of course I’ll miss you, and I’ll never be able to repay everything you and your family have done for me.”  He stopped walking and rested his hand on Judd’s shoulder.  “You saved my life, J.” 

He scoffed.  “Well, I wasn’t just gonna let ya lay there.”

“All the same, thanks.” 

He cleared his throat.  “Let’s head on up t’ the house and see if Momma and Pop got any ideas.” 

Julia was sewing at the kitchen table, patching some holes in Judd’s coat for the winter, and his dad was out back.  Judd went to get him while Gary sat with Julia. 

“What’s this about?  You boys are supposed to be getting’ them apples off’n the trees before we lose ‘em.” 

“Julia.  I’ve remembered.” 

“Remembered what?” she asked as she worked the patch on Judd’s jacket.

“Everything.” 

She put down her work and looked at Gary.  “Well, that’s wonderful!”  She paused, realizing what it meant.  “I ‘spect you’ll be wantin’ to head out then?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“Well, don’t you worry.  We’ll get you all sorted out before we set you loose.” 

He smiled, not really knowing what she meant by that.  By then, Judd and his dad were walking up. 

“What’s this I hear ‘bout you leavin’, boy?  What makes you think you worked off your debt so soon?” 

“Henry!”  Julia hollered at him.  “Don’t you listen to that old grouch.  We gon’ help any way we can.” 

Judd’s dad smiled mischievously.   “Well, ya cain’t let him think he’s gettin’ off scott-free there, Julie baby.  Gotta hassle ‘im some.” 

Gary laughed, and they spent the rest of the day sitting at the table, planning his route, what supplies he should have, how long they thought it would take, and even when and where they thought he would need to stop.

It was decided that Gary would leave in the morning, to get one more good night’s sleep at their house, and so they could have a celebratory farewell dinner.  As much as he needed to leave, he knew he had to stay for that.  They’d become his family and he might never see them again. 

So they spent the evening eating, laughing and just being together.  Sitting there, looking at them laughing and talking easily, he realized what a blessing they’d been.  It was then that Henry made an announcement. 

He stood, banging his fork on his cup.  “I’d like to make a toast.”  They all raised their glasses.  “Gary, you’ve been a blessing to us, a real miracle in our own home.  I just wanna say, we’ve been glad t’have ya.  That’s why we want to give ya’ ole Thunder.  He’ll help ya get home a little faster.” 

Thunder was their best horse.  “I don’t know what to say.  I can’t possibly accept such a tremendous gift after everything you’ve done for me.” 

Julia spoke up.  “You can and you will, boy.” 

Gary frowned.  He wasn’t going to win this one. 

“Now, you take good care’a that horse ya hear?  He’s our best stallion, and I don’t want no news he got stolen and butchered by them Wanderers.  You protect him same way he’ll protect you, got it?”  Henry said. 

“I will.  I promise.”  Gary smiled. 

“What you smilin’ bout?  You look like a kid on Christmas mornin’,”  Julia said.

“I was just picturing Molly’s expression when I come riding up on Thunder.  She won’t know what to think of me.” 

“No, I ‘spect she won’t.  ’Cept all I think she’ll be carin’ ‘bout is that her husband come home.  She prolly won’t even see ole Thunder.” 

He smiled wider. 
I am heading home.

The Rainbow

32.

“God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us – in the dreariest and most dreaded moments – can see a possibility of hope.”
– Maya Angelou

After a storm, the air clears and a whisper of hope sings anew.  The windblown and desperate cling to the song, praying for it to carry them through the storm’s wreckage to better times.