The Bright Side (50 page)

“You were probably nagging him again.
”

I
decided
to
play
nice.
“Even
if
I
had
been,
and
I
wasn’t,
it’s
no
excuse.
He
should
–
”

“And what did
Nancy
have to say about it all?
”

Even though I couldn’t see her face, I could tell by her voice that she had screwed it up on the word “Nancy”
.

“Are you all right, Melissa?” I said. “You seem to be annoyed about something.
”

She stopped scrubbing and turned around fully, then folded her arms and leaned back against the sink. “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I am annoyed as a matter of fact. Do you want to take a guess why?
”

I felt my teeth grinding together. “How about we skip that part and you just
tell
me why?
”

“OK. I will. We’ve been very good to you, I think, over the past few days.
”

“Of course you have.
”

“And when you left here yesterday lunch-time, all agitated and flustered about Robert,
I
was all agitated and flustered too. But you didn’t even bother to call me and tell me how it went. I got a bloody text saying you were off to
Nancy’s
and you’d call later.
”

“But –
”

“Let me finish. Then, when I was just starting to seriously worry, I get another text saying, oh, you’ve decided to stay with
Nancy
now.
”

“Do you have to do that every time you say her name?” “Do what?
”

I pulled a face – and a voice. “
Nancy
.
”

Melissa shook her head sadly. “Unbelievable. I’m saying her name wrong now …
”

“I could do without the tone, that’s all,” I said
.

“Well, hard luck. It’s quite obvious to me that you only came to us in the first place because the wonderful Nancy – did I say it right that time? – the wonderful Nancy wasn’t around. And as soon as she was available again, you dropped us like a hot spud. After, what is it, nearly a week, you didn’t even think to call me and let me know what was going on. Texts, Jackie. Fucking
texts
.
”

“You’re being very dramatic,” I countered. “It wasn’t supposed to be a snub, Jesus. Nancy’s my best friend. Of course I’m going to want to see her at a time like this. What, do you expect me to apologise for that?
”

“No. I expect you to apologise for treating my house like a hotel where you –
”

“A hotel! Oh, for –
”

“– where you can come and stay when it suits and just bugger off with barely a backward glance when it doesn’t.
”

“Melissa, I don’t particularly feel the need to explain myself to you, but the fact is, I didn’t mean to stay over in Nancy’s last night. But we got talking –
”

“Oh, did you now?
”

I pulled my lips tight over my teeth. “What’s that supposed to mean?
”

“Talking. If I was anything more than a B&B to you –” “Sorry, I thought it was a hotel.
”

“Don’t
try
to
be
a
smart-arse,
Jackie,
it
doesn’t
suit
you.
If I
was
anything
more
than
a
hotel
to
you,
then
surely
to
God you’d
have
had
a
talk
with
me
by
now.
But
no.
You’ve
had
no interest
in
talking
to
me
about
Gerry
and
what
the
hell
you’re
going
to
do
about
it.
It’s
been
downright
weird, frankly.
Colm
thinks
so
too.
I’m
good
enough
for
putting
a roof
over
your
head,
obviously,
but
not
good
enough
for actual
conversation.
You
need
a
Nancy
for
that
kind
of
thing, don’t
you?
”

In the sink behind her, the casserole dish suddenly fell over from its side, causing me but not Melissa, to jump
.

“What I was about to say, before you interrupted me, was that I didn’t intend to stay with Nancy, but we got talking and opened a bottle of wine, so before I knew what was what, I couldn’t drive.” As soon as I said this, I realised it was bad on two scores. Firstly, it wasn’t strictly true. And secondly, it gave a serious poke to a sleeping dog. I held my breath, hoping Melissa would resist the obvious come-back. She didn’t
.

“That doesn’t usually stop you,” she said
.

I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds. When I opened them again, Melissa had turned back to her scrubbing. I didn’t know if she had done so with a sense of shame or triumph, and I didn’t really care. For a moment, I considered telling her that it was the first time I’d been drunk in almost three years. But that, I decided, was hardly the point
.

“Maybe it would be best if I just left,” I said and slid off my stool
.

Melissa didn’t reply. The sound of her assault on the casserole dish filled the air. I waited for a few seconds, then walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. It didn’t take me long to pack
.

Niall met me in the hall when I came back down. “Where are you going?” he said quietly
.

“I have to go away for a while,” I said. “But I’ll see you soon.
”

I waited for his tears and hug
.

“GoodBYE!” he said and ran off down the hall to his mother
.

I slipped away
.

CHAPTER
21

I was
no
more
than
twenty
metres
away
from
Melissa’s when
the
tears
started
to
flow.
By
the
time
I’d
made
it around
the
corner
and
into
the
next
street,
they
were
coming so
thick
and
fast
that
I
could
no
longer
see
where
I
was
going. I
pulled
in,
switched
off
the
engine,
and
waited
for
order
to be
restored.
It
turned
out
to
be
a
long
wait,
twenty
minutes at
least.
Just
when
I
was
beginning
to
get
myself
under control,
an
old
lady
came
along.
She
wasn’t
the
first
person
to see
me
sitting
there
in
a
complete
state,
but
she
was
the
first who didn’t
pick up
her pace,
staring straight
ahead. Instead, she
stopped
and
leaned
on
someone’s
front
wall,
squinting
at me
through
Coke-bottle
glasses.
Her
face
was
a
picture
of puzzlement.
I
guessed
that
she
no
longer
trusted
her
vision and
wasn’t
sure
if
this
was
what
it
looked
like.
After
a
few
seconds
she
let
go
of
the
wall
and
started
towards
me.
I wiped
my
nose
on
the
ancient
tissue
I’d
found
in
the
glove compartment
and
tried
to
stop
my
shoulders
from
heaving. When
she
was
a
few
feet
away
from
the
car,
she
raised
her right
hand
and
waved
it
vigorously
from
side
to
side
at
the wrist.
I
waved
back,
with
much
less
enthusiasm.
Then
she was
at
my
window,
tapping
with
all
five
fingers
.

“Hello in there,” she said through the glass
.

I wound the window down. “Hello.” My voice sounded goopily nasal
.

“Are you all right, love?” “I’m fine.
”

“You don’t look fine.
”

I made myself smile. “Bad day. I’m grand, honestly. Thank you.
”

She pushed her glasses up her nose. “Nothing I can do for you, love? A wee chat, maybe?
”

For a moment, I considered telling her the whole story. It would be nice to hear a stranger’s perspective, I thought
.

“Nothing. Honestly. But thanks again. You’re very kind.” “All right, love. Take care.
”

She shuffled off. I burst into tears again. This time they lasted half an hour
.

* * *

It
was
just
after
two
p.m.
when
I
pulled
up
outside
Gerry’s studio-cum-shop. He
was
in
there, I
knew,
because
the battered
jeep
was
parked
two
spaces
behind
me.
I
lit
a
cigarette
and
smoked
it
manically,
all
the
while
keeping
an
eye
on
the
front
window.
Stephanie,
Gerry’s
sole
employee,
was
dealing
with
a
customer
who
seemed
to
be
having
a
great
deal
of
trouble
choosing
a
frame
for
something.
I
could
tell
that
she
was
running
out
of
patience
with
the
guy;
her
occasional
smiles
formed
too
quickly
and
disappeared
too
suddenly
to
be genuine.
By
the
time
the
customer
finally
pulled
out
his
wallet,
I
was
on
cigarette
number
three.
I
waited
for
him
to
leave,
finished
the
fag,
and
climbed
out
of
the
car
.