‘What about Ben’s?’
‘I’m sure Ben will be cut up about it when it happens, but he’s living in denial. Robert lost his wife.
He doesn’t want to lose his grandchildren too.’
‘Maybe it won’t come to that.’
‘Why would she want to make things any more complicated for herself? If she wants Ben out of her
life that means Robert too. Ben needs a kick up the backside. He needs to be responsible for his actions
or he’ll end up with a lot of regrets.’
I’m stuck in the middle. I feel dishonest, tainted by secrets. I shiver. ‘I’m going inside. Do you want
another drink?’
She shakes her head.
‘Are you warm enough?’ I ask.
She nods.
‘I’ll have a flapjack,’ she calls, before I go through the kitchen door.
I make us a simple dinner of pasta and pesto. Mum doesn’t comment on my half-eaten meal. We
watch some TV but I can’t keep my eyes open.
‘I’m going to call it a night,’ I say, forcing myself off the sofa.
In a daze I change into my nightclothes, get a wash, clean my teeth, brush my hair, then cleanse,
tone and moisturise. I go to bed feeling tired and grumpy with a niggling feeling at the back of my
mind. My period hasn’t started yet.
…
I wake to ringing. I reach for my mobile, then realise it’s the house phone. I glance at the bedside clock –
7:30 – before snuggling back below the duvet and hugging my pillow. I listen to the muffled sound of
Mum talking on the phone and the wind banging a door downstairs.
‘Sophie!’ Mum yells from her bedroom. ‘Phone!’
‘For me?’ I call back.
‘It’s Alekos.’
My hands sweat at the mere mention of his name. With effort I sit up and swing my legs out of bed.
I put my jogging bottoms and a T-shirt on over my shorts and vest top and pad on to the
landing.
‘Take it in the kitchen,’ Mum says.
I creak down the stairs in the dark and pick up the receiver. ‘I didn’t know you had this number,’ I
say. I release the blind to a view of the field shrouded in low-lying mist.
‘I don’t. I found it in your address book. I can’t get hold of you on your mobile.’
‘It’s very early, Aleko.’
‘Sorry, did I wake you?’
‘Yes. And Mum. What’s up?’
‘I want to talk to you.’
‘You’re two hours ahead of us. You could have waited until midday.’
‘I’m helping Demetrius and Katrina move.’
‘They’ve finally found somewhere?’
‘Apartment in Thessaloniki.’
‘Nice.’
‘Katrina’s decided they’re going to have a party there in two weeks,’ Alekos says. ‘I can’t believe
they’re moving so far away. He’s lived here all his life.’
‘Thessaloniki is hardly far away. Anyway, it’s about time they moved out of her parents’ house,’ I
say.
‘Also, I wanted to know if you’re coming home for your birthday?’
‘I haven’t given it a thought.’
‘Will you be home?’
‘It’s this Sunday, Aleko,’ I say. ‘I’m not ready to leave. There’s still so much I want to sort
out.’
There’s silence. ‘Then I’m coming to see you. I want to see you, Sophie.’
‘I thought there was no way your Mum could cope without both of us?’
‘Don’t worry about that. Anyway, it’s time I met your Mum.’
I can’t argue with that. For someone who is such a permanent fixture in my life it is odd that Mum
has never met him. I don’t think she’s even seen a photo.
‘It’s not up to me whether you can stay,’ I say. Two weeks ago I was begging him to come with
me.
‘But you could ask.’
‘She’s had an accident, Aleko.’
‘I know that.’
I can’t imagine him here, in Mum’s home. He’d be the talk of the village – Leila’s daughter’s Greek
lover. I wonder how he’d find it. Cold? Quiet? Lonely? Or feel at home, like I do.
‘I’ll ask her,’ I say eventually. I shiver in the dark kitchen.
‘I’ve checked the times from Thessaloniki to Heathrow and Gatwick on Saturday,’ he says. I can
hear the smile in his voice. ‘Which airport will be easiest?’
‘Aleko, let me ask first,’ I say. ‘But Heathrow’s better.’
We hang up - Aleko to go and move our friends into a place of their own and me to find an
opportunity to ask Mum if he can stay for a few days. It’s not that she’d mind a boyfriend of mine
staying, in fact she used to encourage it but I never took her up on her liberal offer. She had enough
boyfriends to stay for both of us.
I’m up now, so I might as well stay up. I get a pot of coffee brewing. I always wished coffee tasted as
good as it smelt but this morning it turns my stomach. Its richness smells bitter and I go outside for
air.
I can see my breath, only slightly, but it’s visible in the chill of dawn. I can’t imagine Alekos here or
myself back in Greece. I’ve discovered freedom and I’m not sure if I’m willing to part with it. I’m
beginning to feel alive again. When did I stop loving life?
…
When Mum finally appears the coffee is cold and the mist has cleared. ‘It feels like time stands still here,’
she says.
She’s silhouetted in the back doorway. Her pose is the same as in the photo of her standing
outside the cottage. Now I’m an insider looking out I know exactly what she means. This
place envelops you and makes you feel safe from the outside world. Time ambles along,
there’s no hectic rush of city living and there’s space to get away from summer holiday
crowds.
But there’s still work to be done. After toast and a mug of reheated coffee Mum gets on with the
flowers ordered for a golden wedding anniversary and I play housekeeper: cleaning, washing and
shopping.
Mum and I rub along together. Daylight turns to dusk. I stay awake to watch a film
while Mum spends two hours on the phone to an old friend from Bristol. I’m in bed by
midnight. I’m enjoying these earlier nights drifting off to sleep to the sound of an owl hooting.
…
The next morning brings a lie in with no wake-up call. The day eases by but there’s no chance to ask Mum
about Alekos. Mum has a steady flow of visitors. First a red-cheeked woman in jodhpurs and riding
boots brings round half a dozen freshly laid eggs. Late afternoon, a mother and daughter turn up to
discuss the daughter’s wedding planned for next year. I make them a pot of tea and escape to the
garden with my sketchpad.
…
We walk down – aided by a torch – for dinner at
The Globe
. A fire spits and crackles in the grate as Robert
feeds it another log. Mum is greeted by a chorus of hellos from people sitting around the table near the
bar. I’m introduced to everyone but faces become a blur and their names get muddled and forgotten.
Everyone knows Mum and she’s swamped by well-wishers and goes from one conversation to
another.
Marcy brings us drinks. She hugs Mum. ‘How are you girl?’
‘I’m on the mend.’
‘I’ve missed you propping up the bar.’
Mum laughs.
‘Keep an eye on her, mind,’ she says, winking at me.
‘What’s it like living in Greece?’ is the question everyone asks me: Mrs Laker, the dairy farmer’s
wife; Sheila, the mother-of-two who lives in the cottage next to the pub; the elderly lady with
white hair and youthful skin whose name I’ve forgotten. They all ask, they all make me feel
welcome, and they all say, ‘Aren’t you lucky,’ before starting a conversation with someone
else.
Ben’s serving drinks and the bar’s lined with customers clutching twenty-pound notes. He catches
my eye and beckons me over.
‘Having fun?’ he asks.
I nod. ‘You?’
He shrugs. I can barely look at him without blushing. He leans across the bar and puts his hand on
my arm. I glance round but Mum has her back to me and I can’t see Robert anywhere. Only Marcy is
close by. She winks at us. ‘I’m off tomorrow night and I thought you might like to do something…’ he
says. ‘I meant to ask you earlier, but… you know…’
‘I wanted to ask the same thing. See if you wanted to go somewhere.’
‘A meal out maybe.’
‘I’d love that.’
‘Ben, get us a double whisky and a glass of red, would you,’ someone shouts from the
table.
He lets go of me and I work my way back to the table. Mum’s leg cast is being signed by
a round-cheeked Len Laker. His wife giggles and grabs the pen off him to sign her own
message.
Robert squeezes on to the bench next to me. I shuffle along until I’m sandwiched between him and
Mum.
‘I hear it’s your birthday on Sunday,’ he says. ‘Don’t look so surprised, Leila would hardly forget. Is
it a special one?’
I shake my head. ‘Twenty-nine.’
Robert whistles through his teeth. ‘Oh to be that age again,’ he says. ‘It’s wonderful that you’ve
been able to stay here so long.’
‘Alekos doesn’t think so.’
‘Oh?’
I lean towards him. ‘He wants to come over.’
‘That’s great.’
‘I haven’t said anything to Mum. I think it might be a bit much, considering.’
‘Don’t be silly, she’d love it.’
‘It’s never the right time to ask.’
‘There’s no time like the present,’ he says and before I can stop him he’s reached behind me and
squeezed Mum’s shoulder. She looks up from the leg signing.
‘Alekos wants to come over for Sophie’s birthday,’ he says. ‘That’s okay with you, isn’t
it?’
‘I already told him he could.’
‘He asked you?’ I say. I spill some of my pint as I bang it on the table.
Mum smiles smugly. ‘I wondered how long it would take you to ask me.’
‘I can’t believe he asked you.’
‘It’s about time I finally met him.’
‘Well,’ Robert says. ‘If that’s all decided, we’ll have to have a party.’
I have nothing suitable to wear to go out. Maybe I shouldn’t worry and just dress casually tonight,
after all is there any need to make an impression? My nervousness grows with dusk. It feels as if I’m
going on a first date. I try on and discard numerous items of clothing before settling on jeans and a
black V-necked top. I slick on lip gloss, brush mascara over my eyelashes and go into the
kitchen.
‘You’re going out?’ Mum asks. ‘You kept that quiet.’
‘I didn’t think you’d approve.’
‘You’re seeing Ben?’
‘Who else?’
She tuts.
‘Mum, he’s a laugh. What’s the crime in going for a meal with him?’
‘It’s a bit complicated, isn’t it? Seeing Ben tonight and Alekos coming over for your
birthday.’
‘Not really,’ I say, with very little conviction.
…
Two children are sitting on stools up at the bar, their legs dangling and kicking air as they sip their drinks
through straws. They must be brother and sister. They have the same pale skin and chestnut-brown
hair – the girl’s in loose curls with a red shiny clip pulling it off her face, and the boy’s short and
spiked. They don’t seem to belong to anyone.
‘Hello Sophie,’ Marcy says when I reach the bar.
The children stop drinking and look up. I glance between them and Marcy.
‘Hi. I’m supposed to be meeting…’
She nods. ‘He’s outside with Mandy.’
‘Oh.’
‘Sophie, this is Fraser and Bella.’
‘Hello,’ they say in unison.
Bella looks at Marcy. ‘Are Mummy and Daddy going to be long?’
‘No, sweetheart,’ Marcy says. ‘What can I get you, Sophie?’
‘A pint of Stella, please.’
‘Grandad!’ Fraser calls and slides off his chair. Bella scrambles down after him and they both fling
themselves into Robert’s arms. I’ve never seen someone smile so much.
I wander across the bar. The smell of steak and ale pie is inviting as I pass an elderly couple eating.
It’s distorted through the conservatory glass, but I can just make out Ben with his back to me and the
woman he’s with, tall and slender with dark, wavy hair like Bella’s. Her smart grey trouser suit
detaches her from her surroundings. She clasps a black handbag in front of her, as if to protect
herself. She’s the one doing all the talking. Her features look pinched, mean, maybe because
she’s frowning, it’s difficult to tell. Ben’s dressed to go out in jeans and a shirt. They look
uncomfortable together. My conscience gets the better of me and I go back to the bar.
Robert, sat at the nearest table with a grandchild on each knee, is all smiles. I perch on a bar
stool.
‘She arrived two days early.’ Marcy lowers her voice. ‘Wants to go away for a long weekend with this
new man she’s been seeing.’
‘Ben said she was seeing someone.’
‘She doesn’t know about you, though,’ she says.
‘What about me?’
‘You and Ben.’
I feel my cheeks go hot. ‘There is no me and Ben.’ I’m too quick to respond.
‘But you are on a date tonight?’
‘A date makes us sound like we’re fifteen. We’re eating out.’ I don’t like the way she’s looking at me
knowingly. I glance over at Bella and Fraser, laughing as Robert bounces them up and
down on his knees. I wish my life was as uncomplicated as theirs. ‘I enjoy his company,
Marcy.’
‘If you say so,’ she says with a wink.
Marcy can see right through me, Mum’s warning me off him, Robert’s oblivious and I have no real
idea how Ben feels.
‘I didn’t think we’d see you tonight,’ Robert says. He lifts Bella back on to the bar stool and Fraser
jumps off his other knee and clambers on to the bar stool next to his sister. ‘Isn’t Leila with
you?’
I shake my head. ‘Ben asked me out. Just to get something to eat,’ I quickly backtrack. ‘That’s
all.’
‘Oh right.’ He shoots a look towards the conservatory then back to me. ‘I hope you didn’t mind me
suggesting a party last night?’ he asks. Bella’s blowing bubbles through her straw. Her foot taps
rhythmically on the barstool leg.
‘No, of course not,’ I say.
Robert squeezes my shoulder. ‘Good. Oh and Sophie, could I ask you a favour?’
‘Go for it.’
‘I wondered if you’d like to cook some Greek specials here Friday night?’
The conservatory door bangs open and Ben storms into the bar followed by Mandy. ‘Robert, I’d love
to,’ I manage to say before finding myself in the middle of a domestic with a family I barely know.
Fraser and Bella are giggling, oblivious to the tension. New customers are beginning to fill the pub
and I don’t resist when I’m forced to give my seat up. Ben catches my eye and mouths,
‘sorry’.