The Calling (13 page)

“Are you busy?”

She braced her fists on her hips and put on a poker face Johnny Cash would have been proud of. “I’ve got plans. Why else would I dress up?”

Ty spread his arms wide, his polo straining over his chest. “What could be more important than me?”

To lie or not to lie, that was the question. She mashed her lips together. Time to lie. “I’ve got a date with Justin.”

Ty pursed his lips. “He’s at work tonight.”

“How would you know that?”

“Because I paid Luke a hundred bucks to call in sick.”

She gasped and sputtered. Had the man lost his mind? “Can’t you get court-martialed for something like that?”

“It’s worth the risk.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “You haven’t returned my calls.”

“You called once this morning. Sorry I didn’t jump all over that.”

He placed his hand over his heart in a sad attempt at looking hurt. “I bared my soul to you last week. That has to count for something.”

His confession was too little, too late, and if Justin was skeptical, maybe she should be also. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “If Justin hadn’t taken an interest in me, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

“That’s not true. For the last six months, I’ve known I made a mistake. Justin showing up just encouraged me to fix it sooner.”

“Bull crap.”

He stared at her long and hard, as if finally realizing that walking in as if he owned the place wasn’t working. She waited patiently to see what tactic he’d use next.

Too quickly to be believed, his cocky demeanor disappeared. Looking dejected, he crumpled on the couch. “What do I have to do to convince you I’ve changed?”

Mandy eyed him suspiciously, wondering if this was the second act, but she could physically feel the change in the room—his fear, his worry, his pain, all palpable to her senses. Wasn’t that one of the things that had drawn her to him? She could almost feel him inside of her, as if his emotions were an extension of her own. And since he’d always been confident and full of life, when in his presence, she had, also. Maybe on some subconscious level, he knew that, and he was trying to give her what he thought she wanted—a confident Ty.

But she’d changed over the last year. After staring down death, her priorities had shifted. She no longer desired to be defined by a man, consumed by his whims, his personality. What she wanted was an equal partnership, and she doubted Ty could ever give her that, even if he had changed.

“You can’t convince me that you’re different, Ty. That’s why you should leave.”

“I’m going to a counselor.”

She eyed him wearily. “You’re serious?”

He nodded and stared at his hands, seeming too embarrassed to hold her gaze.

“Why?” she asked.

His shoulders slumped. “You… and my dad.”

If he was going to a counselor, a major storm was brewing inside his fit frame. And if he was humble enough to accept help, maybe he had changed more than she realized. “You never talked about your dad before.”

“Too painful.” He rubbed his hands down his face and sighed. “I had to go on antidepressants after his death.”

She pushed off the loveseat, crossed the small living room, and sat on the couch armrest. “For how long?”

“I’m still on them.”

She stilled. That meant he’d been on meds the entire time they’d dated and kept it from her. What else did she not know about this man? “I thought the Coast Guard disqualified anyone on antidepressants.”

“They don’t know.” He cast his eyes to the floor. “I didn’t want anyone to find out.” He swallowed so hard his Adam's apple bobbed from clavicle to chin. “When you got sick, the meds weren’t enough to keep my head on straight. I couldn’t figure out why I was losing my mind until about six months ago, when I put two and two together. It all came back to the reason I was on meds in the first place. My dad. I never dealt with his death.”

The edges of the wound he’d inflicted on her ached. But the pain was different this time. Instead of hurting for herself, she hurt for Ty. She slid down the armrest and settled next to him, placing her hand on top of his. The familiar roughness of his golden skin made her heart throb. “How long have you been in counseling?”

“Five months.”

“Wow, that’s awhile.”

“Takes time to fix something I’ve been living with for twelve years. I wanted to be completely okay with your cancer before I came to you like this but, with Justin edging his way in, I can’t afford to wait.”

She studied him carefully, trying to gauge his sincerity. In the back of her mind, she worried that he was trying to manipulate her, but all she saw before her was a broken man who needed help. “Are you okay with the cancer?”

“I have to be.”

“Just because the cancer’s gone now, doesn’t mean it’s not coming back. I might be in the ground before you make a breakthrough.”

“I’ll learn to deal with the fear.”

“Will you? Because I haven’t, and I’ve been going through this for almost a year.”

“I love you.” He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. His lips were warm, reminding her of the inviting touch of the ocean in August. “That has to be enough.”

It might not be; she didn’t have the strength to comfort him if she became ill again. Dealing with her own fear was hard enough. God, why was she even entertaining those thoughts? He might love her, but she didn’t love him, at least not enough to overcome the hurt he’d caused.

But maybe they could be friends. If he needed her support to heal from his dad’s death, she was more than willing to help him as a friend, but not as anything other than that.

She gazed into his hopeful gray eyes. Now came the hard part—figuring out how to tell him they’d never be more than friends without hurting him.

As she was trying to put her intentions into carefully laid-out words, Ty’s gaze meandered from her hand to her face. She lost all train of thought when his eyes blazed with solid determination. He leaned toward her, his goal obvious by the hungry way he stared at her mouth.

Oh, no!
“Ty—”

His lips pressed hard against hers. Mandy whimpered in protest as she scooted across the couch. He stalked her, never breaking his lock on her mouth. The heat in his touch warmed her, reminding her of how well they fit together, but she didn’t belong to him. While Ty pushed himself on her, all she could think of was Justin. Her back pressed against the far armrest. With nowhere left to go but up, she tried to stand.

He grabbed the back of her neck and forced her lips open with his tongue.

Enough!

Mandy palmed his chest and shoved with all her might. “Stop!” She pulled away and clutched her chest, panting for breath. “You need to leave.”

His face hardened into angular lines. “Is this about Justin?”

Yes
. “No.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Believe what you want, but you and I are over.” Mandy cringed at her words. So much for letting him down easy, but the bastard deserved it for jumping her.

He reached out and grasped her hand. “Christ, Mandy. You’re not even giving me a chance.”

She yanked her hand away. “I gave you three years.” She shook her head, not wanting to end it with them pissed at each other. “Listen, I don’t want to stop your progress. I want to help you through your issues over your dad, but as your friend, not your girlfriend.”

His lips thinned into an angry slash. “Fuck friendship. We’re either together or not.”

“Then, we’re not.”

He stood and clenched his hands. “You’re going to regret this.”

Mandy straightened and, though she weighed a good hundred pounds less than Ty and stood almost half a foot shorter, she stared him down, feeling stronger than she ever had in her life. “No, I don’t think I will.”

Ty snorted with disgust as he stalked away, shoulders tight, head hung low. He yanked open the front door and slammed it behind him, the frame shuddering from the force.

Mandy heaved a heavy breath large enough to fill the whole room. Asshole. She wanted to gargle a bottle of mouthwash to wash away all remnants of Ty, but settled for swiping her mouth with the back of her hand. He was such a prick to think he could come waltzing in and sweep her off her feet.

As she stared at the pink smeared across her knuckles, traces of lipstick that she’d wanted Justin to kiss off—not Ty—she realized that, for the first time in over a year, she was completely in control of her life, and it felt damn good.

* * *

The Italian restaurant bustled with a lunch crowd, people hurrying to their tables to scarf down a plate of pasta before rushing back to the grind. Thank goodness, Mandy had the day off, along with Lori. Kirsten was the only one at the table with a timeline, but she wasn’t due back at her office for another forty-five minutes.

Mandy scanned the immediate tables to make sure no one she knew was in the vicinity. Some conversations were meant to be private.

“He looked like he was ready to go off the deep end,” Mandy said, as she leaned toward Lori. “I should have been scared of him, but I wasn’t.”

Lori patted her hand. “Good for you.”

Kirsten’s eyes locked on the waiter’s station as if she were sizing up the lunch crew. “Yeah,” she said half-heartedly. “Good for you.”

“Has she heard a word I’ve said?” Mandy asked.

Lori shook her head when Kirsten didn’t respond. “See the tall waiter over there, the one with the curly black hair?”

Mandy’s gaze traveled to a young guy, probably twenty, furiously punching an order into his touchscreen.

“She’s been watching him since we sat down,” Lori added.

“Ah. Got it.” Mandy twirled a noodle around her fork, making sure to dab it in plenty of tomato sauce. She took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. “It felt good kicking Ty out.”

Lori smirked, her gaze going distant as if she were imagining the scene in detail. “That man deserved some payback.”

“So, why do I feel guilty?”

“Are you crazy? You let the man off easy, in my opinion.”

“He might never get off antidepressants now.”

Lori rolled her eyes and daintily dabbed Alfredo sauce off her lips. “Ty’s a dick. Who cares if he’s on meds the rest of his life?” She shrugged. “What are you supposed to do? Date him so he can get over his issues?”

“No, of course not. I just wish he hadn't kissed me, so I could’ve let him down easy.”

“Forget about him. You’ve got Justin now, anyway, and he’s the best catch of all.”

“You’ve got two guys who want you?” Kirsten mumbled, suddenly joining the conversation. “I wish we all had problems like yours.” She eyed the tall waiter, who hustled past their table carrying a tray of drinks. “I haven’t been laid in two weeks.” She licked her lips, her gaze attached to the waiter’s ass.

“Honestly, Kirsten,” Lori said. “Why don’t you get “Do me” tattooed on your forehead?”

Kirsten arched an eyebrow. “Do you think that’d work?” After running her fingers through her long auburn hair, she lowered her eyelids in a seductive look and leaned back in her chair. Not seeming to notice her, the waiter hurried by with an empty tray balanced on his fingertips. She pursed her lips in disapproval. Given all the cleavage spilling out of her blouse, Mandy was surprised by the lack of attention.

“Why do you want to be with one man, anyway?” Kirsten asked. “Have sex with both of them and send them on their way.” When she leaned sideways to keep an eye on the server’s assets, her chair began to topple backwards.

Mandy grabbed the back of Kirsten’s seat before she flew head over high heels. “Sit, Bobo.”

“I’m not a dog.” Kirsten pouted as she settled back into her chair.

Lori smirked. “You get around like one.”

“If you were a good friend, you’d be paying more attention to Mandy’s problem.” Kirsten turned an attentive gaze on Mandy. “Why can’t you date antidepressant man?”

“Do you even know who I’m talking about?” Mandy asked.

“Not really.”

Mandy rolled her eyes. Kirsten had the attention span of a two-year-old. If they hadn’t been friends since grade school, and if Mandy hadn’t known about her difficult home life, she’d have given up on her years ago. “Are your ears full of cotton? For the last fifteen minutes I’ve been talking about Ty.”

Kirsten stiffened. “Ty?” She blushed. “Really?”

Lori’s fork clanked on her plate. “Listen, Ty left you when you got sick. It’s sad that his dad died of cancer, but the way he treated you was inexcusable. He’s just not worth worrying over.”

Lori had a point, but Mandy couldn’t help feeling bad for him. Both her parents were still alive and even married. They’d given her a picture-perfect childhood. She couldn’t imagine losing one of them so young. “I’m not saying what he did was right. I’m just saying he had underlying emotional issues.”

Kirsten slid deep into her seat and placed her fork on her plate. Her face turned one shade brighter than beet-red.