The Chameleon Wore Chartreuse (5 page)

Natalie sighed and walked on.

I went to class.

A surprise awaited me there. Sitting on top of my desk was a chocolate-covered termite. A treat! I zapped out my tongue and snagged it. A yummy appetizer. But what a strange aftertaste.

I reached into my mouth and found that a piece of paper had come with the bug. Carefully I peeled it off my tongue and unfolded the soggy paper.

Dear diet,
it read,
I know who you're looking for. I can help.

Who had written this? It obviously wasn't Shirley. I raised my head and scanned the classroom. But nobody winked, or made a secret hand sign, or shouted out, "It was me!"

I sighed.

It isn't always easy being a detective.

I returned to the note. It continued:
In ten minutes, ask the teacher for permission to get a drink of water. I'll be waiting by the water fountain.

It was signed,
A friend.

I sat up straighter. A friend was willing to help me. Things were finally looking up. I might solve this case yet.

I made it through the next ten minutes without Mr. Ratnose calling on me. At the proper time, I raised my hand.

"Mr. Ratnose, can I go get a drink of water?"

He just grunted and waved his hand. I suspected he was glad to see me leave. I scooted down the hall.

Waiting there by the drinking fountain, a pink ribbon in her mousy brown hair, was Frenchy LaTrine.

"Frenchy?!" I said.

"You were expecting maybe Mata Hairy?" she said.

I groaned.

"Chet, we don't have much time!" said Frenchy. Her nose twitched. "I know you're looking for Billy Chameleon. And I know Herman's got him!"

"Is that all?" I said. "I know that already."

"There's more! I overheard Herman at lunch." She glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice. "He was talking about getting 'sweet' something. I think he's planning to break into the cafeteria!"

I nodded at her. "Thanks, Frenchy. You done good."

She smiled from ear to fuzzy ear, and I turned to go. But then a thought struck me.

"Frenchy? Why are you helping me?"

She pouted. "That Herman! He's such a mean boy—I want to see him get what he deserves!"

"And why did you leave the chocolate-covered termite on my desk?"

Frenchy grinned. "A day without chocolate is like a day without sunshine! And a day without sunshine is like ... night."

"Mm-hmm," I grunted.

She fiddled with her bow and looked down at her feet. "Chet, a cheerleader's more than just a cute uniform and backflips, you know." Frenchy looked up and batted her eyes. "A cheerleader has a heart, too."

Dames. Who could understand them? I trotted back to the classroom before she could try to kiss me. I'd had enough cooties for one day.

So Herman was planning some stunt in the cafeteria, eh? Well, he hadn't reckoned with Chet Gecko, private eye—defender of casseroles, champion of cupcakes.

There was just one small problem: To reclaim my missing chameleon, I had to get past a Gila monster who made Darth Vader look like a choir boy.

All afternoon, while Old Man Ratnose talked, I thought about Billy and the Gila monster. I wondered: Were they really going to steal food? What was in the wiggling sack they took from the dump?

And would I ever get to eat lunch?

At break time, Shirley slithered up to me. She blinked her big green eyes.

"Well?" she asked. "Have you found my brother yet?"

"Um ... hot on his trail," I answered. "Why, I've got all sorts of clues."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Shirley frowned suspiciously.

I told her about Billy's trip to the dump with Herman, and about what Frenchy had overheard.

"So you see, I'll just slip out after the bell rings and catch them at the cafeteria," I said.

"But Billy wouldn't hang out with Herman." She turned icy blue and stamped her foot. "Stop wasting time on that Gila monster and find my brother!"

"Don't worry, I will." I hoped.

"
Hmph!
" she said. "You're as clueless as a duck in a disco! And there's only one period left!"

She tossed her head and pranced back to her desk.

I looked at the facts of the case. She had a point. Number 1, I hadn't found her brother yet, and time was running short. Number 2, I didn't have a clue how all my clues added up. And number 3, I would be spending the next two days in detention.

I was really making some progress. Any more of this progress, and I could consider a career as a bathroom monitor.

Last period dragged by. When the bell rang, all the other kids ran screaming out to the football field for a pep rally.

I thought maybe Ms. Glick wouldn't miss me too much if I skipped detention—just this once. I plunged into a knot of third graders and tried to blend in. With luck, I could make it to the cafeteria undiscovered.

I bent lower as the group swept past Room 5, past Room 4. Freedom was waiting up ahead. And the end of the case was so close, I could almost taste that stinkbug pie. I bent lower stiU as we rushed past the dreaded Room 3.

Almost there. And then I sensed kids changing direction.

I kept my head down and my feet flying—and ran headfirst into what felt like a brick wall. I rubbed my head and looked. It was a brick wall with big scaly feet and hangnails!

"Hello, Chester," said Ms. Click. "Nice of you to join us."

Nice of you to run off and join the zoo,
I thought. But I didn't say that. The Beast of Room 3 clamped her jaw down on my coat collar and carried me into detention hall like an old sack lunch.

She dumped me behind a desk. I slumped in my seat. Now how would I get free to solve the case in time?

I looked around the room. The pride of the school surrounded me: A dim-witted toad named Willie. A loudmouthed mynah bird named Amy.

And the two Rat Sisters.

My, my.

The Beast made me write
I will not be a tardy gecko
until I filled up the chalkboard. While I wrote, my back was turned to the Rat Sisters. I listened to their whispers.

"I can't believe we're missing it," said Rizzo. "Herman's big revenge is happening, and we're stuck here in detention."

I leaned back to listen, and kept writing.

"I'd like to see the look on their faces when they—" Nadine stopped.

"Get an earful, Gecko?" said Rizzo.

"What?" I asked. I looked around innocently. She pointed to the blackboard, where I'd written
I will not miss Herman's big revenge.

Oops.

Nadine's whiskers bristled. "Keep your nose out of our business," she said. "If you don't want to lose it."

"Shhh!" said Ms. Click, from her desk.

"Where's Billy?" I whispered. "Where's that chameleon?"

"Aww," said Nadine. "Didn't the Big Baboo tell you anything?"

I clenched my fist. "I'll 'Big Baboo' you!"

"Cool your jets, Gecko," said Rizzo. "Don't worry about that chameleon. It's like the farmer said when he lost the butter."

"What's that?"

"It'll churn up," she said. The Rat Sisters giggled.

"That's enough," said Ms. Glick. "I'm going to separate you girls. And, Chester, you will erase that board and write one hundred times, 'I will zip my lip while I'm being punished.'"

I sighed. If my luck continued, I'd be the detention champ of fourth grade. And I was so hungry, I could almost eat the chalk.

Just then the loudspeaker squawked. Principal Zero's menacing purr cut through the static. "Calling Ms. Glick, calling Ms. Glick. This is your pimpernel speaking."

Ms. Glick glanced sharply at the loudspeaker.

The deep voice coughed. "I mean, this is your principal," it said. "Come to my office right now, Ms. Glick. Alone!"

The Beast of Room 3 blushed.

"I want to
talk
to you," said the voice, "in my office."

Ms. Glick frowned. "But—" she said.

"Right now, Glick. Get the lead out!" the voice commanded.

Ms. Glick jumped. She looked at us students, then back at the loudspeaker. She stood up.

"All of you, stay here," said the Beast. She pointed a claw at us. "And you'd better behave." Ms. Glick hustled out the door, thick tail dragging behind her.

I looked at the Rat Sisters. They looked blankly back at me. What was going on?

I edged toward the half-open windows, seeking a sneaky way out. A dark shape ducked behind the bushes outside. I stepped to the window and saw ... Natalie!

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"A pretty good imitation of our principal," she whispered. "Want to hear it again?"

I glanced back at the other kids in detention. They were shooting spitwads and chasing each other around the desks.

Natalie threw her voice, and again the loudspeaker squawked. "Attention, students in detention!" growled Principal Zero's voice. "You'd better not try any funny business while Ms. Glick is in my office."

At his words, the kids cowered. They sat down meekly.

"And another thing," said the loudspeaker voice. "Chet Gecko, report to my office immediately, for top-secret, double-Dutch detention. You've been a very naughty gecko."

I tossed a withering glance at the shape behind the bushes. Then I hotfooted it out the door. Natalie joined me in the hall.

"Pretty good, huh?" she said. "It's handy having a mockingbird for a partner, isn't it?"

I shook my head. "I never said you were my partner."

"You will," she said. "Let's go!"

We shot down the hall, away from Ms. Click's room. If she caught me, I'd be in detention until I was a grown-up. But I had a chameleon to find and a case to solve.

And a stinkbug pie to eat.

Danger may be my business, but dessert is my delight.

Natalie and I raced along the empty halls.

"So, what's the plan?" she said. "Where's Billy?"

"The cafeteria!" I said. "Frenchy LaTrine tipped me off. She said Herman was going to get 'sweet' something at the cafeteria. Adding that to what the Rat Sisters said, I know what he's after."

"What?"

"It's 'sweet revenge'! He's going to steal something from the cafeteria."

I panted heavily as we trotted along. Maybe I did need to ease off of those fried termites.... Nah. We rounded the last classroom and reached the cafeteria.

I tried the doors. Locked. I peered inside. Deserted.

"Let's check the other side," said Natalie.

The kitchen door was locked, too. I thought about picking the lock with my tail, but something stopped me. The building was as quiet as a classful of kids who don't want to be called on.

Something was wrong.

"Another red herring?" said Natalie.

"No, thanks, I'd rather have stinkbug pie," I said. "But I won't get to eat it unless we figure out where Billy is, pronto." I leaned against the door.

"Hey, Chet, I just thought of something," said Natalie. "Herman wants revenge, right?"

"Right."

Natalie cocked her head. "Why would he want revenge on the cafeteria? What did it ever do to him?"

I scratched my head. "You're right. Those cafeteria ladies let him eat as much as he wants."

"So who
does
Herman have a grudge against?" she said.

Suddenly, the lightbulb went on in the fridge of my brain. I tossed my hat up.

"Natalie, I'm a genius!"

"Compared to whom?" she said.

I clapped her on the shoulder. "I figured it out! Herman wants revenge for being kicked off the football team, so he's going to pull something nasty at the game."

"That's it!" said Natalie. "But how does Billy fit in?"

"
Hmm,
" I said. I picked up my hat. "Beats me."

Natalie squawked. "Wait, don't you see? Herman needs a hand. He's blackmailed Billy into helping him." She took off. "Come on, let's go!"

I jogged along behind her. "Natalie! Where are we going?"

"I don't know," she said.

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

We hustled onto the playground.