The Champion (Racing on the Edge) (55 page)

“Hey Sway, have you seen Jameson?” was how Nadia greeted
me that afternoon.

I wanted to say, “Well no, we haven’t seen each other in
almost three weeks because I caught a naked woman in his hotel room.”

I didn’t say that.

Instead, I settled on. “Yes, he’s at home right now.”

“Oh, Justin said he was flying back with Jimi today.”

Well fuck.

“He is.”

Nadia wasn’t exactly all brains but she picked up on my
lie and smiled.

“Nadia, I think we need to talk about some things.”

She smiled again, her innocence showing and I wanted to
punch her. I know it would be immature but any woman in their right mind, inside,
wants to resort to childlike tendencies when their children or man is being
threatened. With Jameson, don’t think I wanted to mark my territory a time or
two because I did and now wasn’t any different. But, I’d like to think I was a
little more mature than that. I hoped I was. So I took the mature route.

“I know that you have been trying to tempt my husband.”
She started to interject but I held up my hand. “Now before you start defending
your actions or saying he’s attracted to you or whatever, I’ve heard them all
before. The thing is,” I tipped my head slightly trying to find the best way to
put it and then I just decided I didn’t give a shit. There was no lite way of
putting it. She just needed to know. “You seem to have this version of Jameson
you’ve created in your head as a guy who would leave his wife. You see the
version of Jameson who battles each week with other racers and gets in the
faces of reporters who question his fighting for the win. You don’t see the
version he lets me see which is the part of him that is broken, bare and
vulnerable to the words that could destroy him. I do. I see that because I’m
his
wife
.”

Nadia looked at me for a long moment before her eyes
shifted to the sign that read “JAR Racing” outside the parking lot.

Her gaze shifted back to me, wounded but seeing what I
intended her to see.

“Not many guys take a girl in racing seriously.” She
spoke softly. “He did. He raced me the way any other driver would and for that,
I respected him. I just thought, well I thought wrong. I’m sorry.”

After a few more parting words, we went about our ways.

I’d honestly thought that’d be the last time I saw Nadia
come on to Jameson but it wasn’t. She tried numerous times to get to Jameson
all with no success. For me personally, I had to keep in mind that this sort of
thing happened with this lifestyle. We would never be immune to it just as
there would always be rival drivers. We had to have a trust with each other
though even if we were down a lap at times.

Lapped Traffic – Jameson

“What are you going to tell her?”

I just grunted in reply at first and then realized who I
was talking to as that answer wouldn’t fly.

“I guess I would say
...
”
I started to speak and then stopped.

For the past week, I’d been holding on and hoping not to
fall apart without her.

When that didn’t work, I just went about my day praying
she’d take me back. In my head I told myself I’d give her one more day and I’m
calling. Well that was three weeks ago and I still hadn’t called because I
didn’t know what to say.

That’s when my dad told me she was home. There I was, on
the plane back to Mooresville Sunday evening, going over schedules for the next
season and sponsorships, my dad knew before I did.

I wasn’t surprised. Lately, I have been involved more
with the business side of Riley-Simplex Racing as I was with JAR Racing and for
that my time was limited. Usually I preferred to just drive the cars but I
enjoyed my dad coming to me and asking what I thought of certain moves within
the company. After all, our program had grown considerably in the last fifteen
years.

The more I thought about what I’d say to Sway, the more I
didn’t know and just blurted out what I thought.

“That I love her and I’m sorry.” I told him handing him
my recommendations on the third driver he was adding next year.

“Jesus, I thought you were smarter than that.”

I wasn’t sure if he was referring to my idea with Sway or
my thoughts on his driver picks.

“And what would you say old wise one?”

“For starters, I would try to understand
why
she’s
bothered so much by the lying.”

Right, he was talking about Sway.

I didn’t like that my dad was right, but he had a point.
He always did.

That week after she left I called every day but it went
straight to voicemail. Van assured me she was fine and I didn’t press as to
what she was doing. I said I’d give her time and that I did. That’s a lie, I
didn’t agree to any of this but what choice did I have? I fucked up, again.

There was only one way to fix this and I needed her
forgiveness and trust—which weren’t things that she just gave up.

When I arrived home in Mooresville that night, I was
surprised and relieved to see Sway’s car there. What surprised me even more was
her crying in our bed.

Part of me, the paranoid part, envisioned her with a
suitcase, waiting on the front porch.

That wasn’t my wife though. She was in this to the end.
Just because we’d fallen off pace didn’t mean she took the car to the garage
and gave up home. She would be the one making pit stops to fix everything she
could with BearBond.

Sway had been ignoring my phone calls all week and now,
worst of all; I had to listen to her cry. I had to listen to the woman that
owned my heart cry, because I, once again, had broken hers. She trusted me with
everything and I had let her down. I knew that is wasn’t about the women; it
was the lying, something we sore we’d never do to each other.

Everyone she had ever loved lied because they thought it
was what was best for her. They had never let her be the judge of that and I
had done it as well. I had done something I promised I never would.

I wouldn’t be able to sleep until we spoke so I watched
through the curtains in our room as the sky turned to a hazy pink until
eventually her crying stopped.

Finally, she let me hold her, while she cried a little
more. Her tears fell down her face, soaking my shirt she was pressed against. I
told her over and over again how sorry I was.

Although my phone had been vibrating for the past two
hours I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather be doing than holding and
comforting my wife.

Sway groaned when she heard my phone vibrating and her
body shifted under the sheets revealing patches of skin I hadn’t seen in weeks.

She yawned. “We should get up soon.”

“No, I want to stay here with you.” Our bodies brushed
against each other under the sheets.

Sway grumbled into the pillow. “I need coffee.”

I knew I wouldn’t be forgiven right away but it wouldn’t
stop me from apologizing.

“I’m so sorry honey. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Do you understand why it hurts?” she finally asked.

“Yes, I do.” I turned her around in my arms to face her.
She blinked a few times clearing the tears from her eyes. “I lied to you. Worst
of all, I kept something from you because I thought it was best for you.”
Moving my hand from her waist, I cupped the apple of her cheek leaning in to
kiss her lips. She didn’t hesitate to return the kiss. “That’s exactly what
Charlie and Rachel did to you.” My eyes focused intently on her trying to make
her grasp the meaning. “I will
never
lie to you again.”

“I know you won’t.” she said leaning in to kiss me again.
Our lips moved softly for a moment before she pulled away. “Please don’t. I
want to know. I can’t take it when someone thinks they will know how I will react.”

We had held each other all night and I swore I’d never
hurt her again. And I meant it. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her in all
this; it’s why I lied. But to lie to a woman like Sway, that was worse than
actually cheating on her, if you understood why. I did after that.

That next morning, after showering, I walked downstairs
Sway was making blueberry pancakes, the sweet smell of syrup and my favorite
fruit carried throughout our home.

All smiles when I stepped into the kitchen, my smile grew
wider when I saw she was dressed in one of my very first Simplex t-shirt that
had holes from where I got caught it on fire and a pair of sweatpants. I’ve
seen Sway in some of the most amazing dresses ever designed but I preferred her
just like this.

“I could get used to this.” Leaning against the island in
the middle of the kitchen, I let my bare foot slide up her leg.

“Morning,” She smiled licking syrup from her fingers. She
pushed a plate of pancakes toward me motioning for me to eat.

“Breakfast is ready!” she yelled up the stairs for the
kids. When Sway turned around, I had my arms wrapped around her waist pulling
her against me.

“You get that I’m sorry, right?”

“I do
...
and I know
you understand why.” Though she spoke the words, her eyes showed the fear. Fear
I was determined to make disappear and that would take time. Anyone who knew me
knew I was incapable of waiting. But for her I would. I made a vow when we
married and for her, I’d keep it through whatever life threw at us or me I
guess in this case.

Casten was the first downstairs jumping up onto one of
the stools.

“Thank god she forgave you.” His eyes widened at the
sight of pancakes as he pushed his hair from his face. Sway hated it but he refused
to let her cut it these days. “I thought we’d never eat again.”

Sways slapped the back of his head. “I cooked for you in
Washington.”

Buttering two blueberry pancakes and pouring an ungodly
amount of syrup on them, Casten raised an eyebrow at Sway. “I don’t think—”

“You shut up.” Sway laughed smacking his shoulder. “At
least you had food.”

“I don’t consider, McDonalds, food.” Arie added sitting
next to Casten who looked over at her pajamas, shaking his head.

“You look ridiculous.” Casten told her.

Sway and I just sat back and watched after that when Axel
came stumbling down the steps sporting a black eye and a fat lip.

“And where have you—” Casten asked but was cut off rather
quickly by Axel pushing him off the stool onto the tile floor.

“Oh my god, Axel,” Sway balked. “Don’t do that to him.”

Casten, pleased that he’d gotten the attention from his
mom, added fuel to the fire and pretended to be hurt.

Turns out, while racing in the Silver Crown series, Axel
got into a fight with some kid who thought Axel needed a reality check. I guess
my little five-foot three son showed him a thing or two because he broke the
kids nose and dislocated his jaw.

“Wow,” was my response to Tommy that morning when he
showed up and told us.

Axel, a tad sheepish, didn’t have much to say. Just like
me, his aggression frequently got the best of him and then the consequences
came crashing down. For the altercation, USAC suspended him from all three
divisions for two races.

“Should you talk to him?” Sway asked when Axel left with
Lily later that morning.

I had to leave for Charlotte later that morning but I did
plan to talk to him about it.

“I will. Just let him calm down. Right now, it wouldn’t
do any good.”

“All right, just
...
don’t
want this to turn into anything.”

Kissing the top of her forehead as she reached for the
plates on the island, I whispered into her ear. “Wait up for me tonight,
please.”

Her eyes sparkled with a sense of needing, the same need
I wanted.

“Don’t be late.” She tried to hide the smirk but couldn’t
very well. “You have some making up to do.”

“I know.”

“And take out the garbage.”

“On it,”

“And feed Rev.” she added. “The last time I fed that damn
dog he knocked me into the pool.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

I was more implying more about the way last weekend
played out but I was sorry about Rev. The dog outweighed Sway and thought she
was his own personal play/chew toy.

Sway, well she had other ideas about that.

“That’s a long list there champ.”

“Well then you’d better get a pen and start writing
anything else you want me to do. I don’t have all day.”

Instead, she grabbed a sharpie from inside a drawer in
the kitchen and wrote on the inside of my hand. “Be home by nine or else.”

“Nine it is.”

I did one better and was home by seven that night making
sure the kids had something to keep them busy. Axel was with Lily before he
left to Terra Haute. Casten was with Cole at Spencer’s house for the night
building ramps for their dirt bike track. And Arie was with my mom shopping in
New York. I was not thrilled with my daughter shopping in New York either. It
was to yuppie for me but whatever pleased my little girl pleased me.

“Sway?” I called out when Casten finally left with Cole.

“In the bathroom,” She answered.

We only had six in the house so it took a few to find
her.

And then there she was, in our large sunken whirlpool tub
in our master bathroom covered with bubbles. Her long dark mahogany hair swept
over the side, her legs were bent only revealing her knees. She was stunning
and just as beautiful as the day I had met her. Only now, she was a woman, a
woman who owned me entirely.

I took my time walking toward her, stripping away my
clothes as I walked with my eyes focused on hers as she smiled up at me. The
warm glow from the candles lit throughout the bathroom made her green eyes
smolder. Or it could be that sexually we hadn’t been together in nearly two
months between our schedules and her trip to Washington.

Glimmering flecks of light radiated from her as her legs
moved under the water. “You gonna join me or just stare at me?”