The Champion (Racing on the Edge) (56 page)

“I’m taking off my clothes aren’t I?”

Before she could say any more, I was slipping into the
tub with her.

Sway’s head leaned back as my arms wrapped around her.
Though I wouldn’t say it, this reminded me of the time I accused her of
sleeping with Mike. If there was an award for the worst husband of the year, or
decade, I’d definitely be in the running for it.

“I went to see Charlie and Rachel’s graves. Arie went
with me.”

“Mmmm
...
” Gently I
kissed along her collarbone, sweeping her hair away from her neck as my lips
got closer to her neck. My left hand wrapped around her hair pulling it to one
side to give me better access to her skin.

Sway melted at my touch, her body relaxing instantly as
her head leaned back. It’s always been virtually staggering to me what just
being in the arms of a woman can do for a man. Thinking back to the days when I
took it for granted compared to now and how I couldn’t get enough.

Through everything, this woman has been there for me and
so many times, I’d taken this for granted how just these arms can take me back
to where I belonged.

“Was it hard for you?”

Sway leaned her head to one side, her legs shifting in
the water. “Harder than I thought. It never gets any easier for me.” I kissed
her shoulder once more taking the sponge on the tile next to the shower and
covering her chest with warm water as she spoke softly. “I just thought
...
maybe it might get easier, you know?”

“It won’t. I wish it would but it will never go away.”

Her hands reach for mine, her finger running over
callouses formed from years of racing and engine work.

“I know that you never meant to lie to me.”

“Good.” My lips brushed over her shoulder once more. “I
would never intentionally hurt you.”

We laid in the tub until the water was cool enough that
Sway was shivering worse than Arie was the time she spent four hours in the
back of Spencer’s truck.

Once in our room, I warmed her up physically after
playing the piano for her. She insisted.

“I want this to be good for you.” I said kissing her
cheek softly as I laid her in the middle of our bed. Her legs spread allowing
me the contact I wanted.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” she seemed genuinely curious.
“We’re good at this. Make up sex is good for us.”

I chuckled against her lips. “I have about two months of
pent up sexual frustration. I’ll probably only last thirty-two seconds.”

She laughed at my admission, kissing my neck softly.
“Don’t worry
...
it will be like my first
time. Though that lasted about a minute so he’s got you beat there.”

I glared, she laughed. “I won’t let that fucker last
longer than me. Get me a stopwatch. I’m going for one minute, and one-tenth of
a second.”

Her response was to push her hips into mine, her hands finding
my hair. “That is definitely not helping me set fast time or in my case, slow
time.” I told her shifting away.

“Jameson
...
” she
whimpered reaching for me. “You forgot it’s been two months for me too.”

“Shhh
...
” I
whispered kissing the path down her chest to between her thighs. “I need a
sponsorship guarantee.”

I did some of my best deburring during that time and from
her moans, I’d say she enjoyed it. Chuckling to myself, and quite proud I might
add, I crawled back up her body and rested between her legs preparing for some
much needed align boring. “Now prepare for the best minute of your life.”

Lapped Traffic – Sway

After I returned home, it took Jameson a day or so and he
seemed to think he needed to apologize more and again, if I was honest with
you, I understood why.

That night, though incredibly emotional was probably one
of the strongest connections we’d had in a while.

I found him in the kitchen, staring at the lake through
the sliding glass doors.

“Jameson,” my hands crept over his shoulders pressing my
chest to his back. “I don’t want you to keep beating yourself up over this. You
said what you needed to say. I said what I needed. Let’s just move on from
this.”

He turned to face me.

“Stop,” he breathed, parting his lips over mine and trying
to calm the storm. “I know I was wrong but I told myself I was doing the right
thing.” His lashes glistened as though they were diamonds cutting through the
sadness.

The fault here lies within me. I shouldn’t have left and
I knew that. Face the fear that drowns the light was what I always told myself.

Did I listen? No.

His hands were restless, searching for himself, between
the shadow and smoke. He needs me and I knew that. He never meant to hurt me.

The sun was setting over the lake, chalky orange smudging
the sky. Standing against the counter, I looked over at him when no words were
spoken.

“Will you go with me somewhere tonight?” he asked
flickering his gaze to mine.

I blinked slowly, the sight of him being so vulnerable
brought back so many memories my heart ached for him, for us.

His smile was soft, slightly higher at one side of his
mouth and my heart stumbled reminded of the child in him I once knew. It was
reassuring when I saw that side of him comforted by the innocence.

I stroked his jaw and shivered, outlining the curve of
his smile as my fingers moved to rest at his mouth.

Our lives, much like a car straight out of the hauler,
are never perfect right from the start. They require adjustments along the way.
This wasn’t any different.

I followed him up the stairs to our room where he pressed
me against the wall. The light shining through our room was soft just like his
touches. Inside the room, he had
Purple Rain
playing softly.

My mind flashed to that first night with us again in
Charlotte and the way his hand felt on my calf asking me to stay with him. And
here now, in a roundabout way, he was begging me to stay again.

The moment got to me. This was his way of apologizing
again. I made a strangled noise and turned my face away.

“Don’t do that,” he choked out wrapping his arm around my
waist, pulling me closer. “Don’t do that, please. I’m holding on by a string
right now and to see you cry
...
I can’t
handle it.”

He pushed my dress away and hands lingered memorizing
each curve, fabric rustled as it descended. His shirt quickly followed while
our mouths became desperate, teeth and tongues took time as hunger claimed its
victims.

His hand slipped around my back, his other rising as he
grasped my hair and moans swallowed us as I pushed and pulled and arched my way
to his belt. Buckle loosened and pants unzipped, I worked hard to get his
clothing aside.

Strong hands trailed over my body taking over and his
voice brought me back to his face.

“Tell me you love me,” he panted, shifting his position to
look at me.

I pushed his hair from his forehead, my gaze lingering
and holding focus with his eyes before my lips found his.

“I love you,” I told him between kisses.

He kicked away the remaining barriers of clothing and
moved from the wall to the bed, my head supported as he lowered me to the
mattress. His knee between my thighs, tongue between my lips, my hands greedy
as they slid over his back muscles and squeezed his shoulders in an attempt to
bring him closer. After weeks of separation, I needed him closer.

His look was long and hard, our loud breathing filled the
room as his hands rested on either side of my head as he pushed forward. His
knees spread my legs; each movement was slow and so good.

He pressed his chest closer, warm skin comforting.

“Your heart is beating so fast,” he murmured, staring
down at me.

I brought my fingers to touch his lips, outlining their
softness and feeling his kiss.

“It feels it’s other half.” I said quietly, the volume
diminished under the intensity of his gaze.

He shivered, my hands grasping his hair as his head
tilted back and then his trembling lips found my neck. He swallowed thickly,
his mouth returning to mine kissing me slowly before dragging his lips down my
chest, open mouth pausing over my heart.

“I want to live right here,” he breathed, his arms
shaking as he held himself above me.

I tasted the tears at the back of my throat and assured
him that he already does.

He exhaled and pressed his lips once more to my chest. He
studied my body with his eyes and tongue. I gripped the sheets and urged for
speed as his fingers curled into the pillow.

I made a noise when he entered me and he stopped waiting
for me to respond.

“No, keep going.”

And he did. Just his skin against mine calmed me and
assured me I was the only one though I didn’t need to know that. I knew.

Nothing compared to this feeling, to the weight of his
body as he groaned and pressed himself closer, suffocating me with his love.
But it wasn’t suffocating at all. It was finally being able to breathe. These
moments of skin against skin, was the only time I could really breathe.

“I love you like this,” he panted focusing on my face.
“flushed and breathless beneath me.” He accentuated his words with a soft
grunt, his breath hot on my cheek.

My lashes fluttered but I didn’t close my eyes. I wanted
to see his face. The way his lids fall and open and the way his mouth parted. I
wanted the noises that escaped and the feeling of being wanted. I wanted it
all.

He whispered that he never wanted to stop and I whimpered
a plea that no space remained between us.

“Fuck,” he breathed, his nose brushing mine as he traced
my bottom lip with his tongue.

He raised himself, hands fisted in the sheets and pushed
forward.  His eyes grass green, bright with desire clouded and cheeks
flushed.

My nails dug into his sides, while I kissed from chin to
temple and back as he cradled my head. My eyes drifted closed and took
everything he was giving me, groans chasing whispers of desire, fire shared
spreading through me like igniting compressed aerosol gasoline with a spark.

I guided my palm to his heart.

“Let this always be mine,” I pleaded. His eyes blinked
heavy and my words were low. “Please.”

He took my bottom lip between his teeth before pushing
forward one last time, a low moan trapped against skin.

“It’s always been yours Sway,” he murmured against my
chest. “That will never change for me.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, slick bodies meeting
their limit and shadows lighted. Lines drifted in the wake and hearts connected
in their path. The fear of being alone fades with his embrace.

“Don’t ever leave me again.” He said staring at me,
holding my gaze with a fire that is still present and burning just as bright as
the day we formed this sacred bond. “I can’t do this without you.”

The way he watched me, scrutinizing every breath and
every blink assured me there is no bitterness there. He doesn’t hate me for
leaving and forgives as unconditionally as he loves with every fiber, every
piece of himself that he gives to me.

24.
        
Brake Caliper - Jameson

Brake Caliper –
The part of the braking system that, when applied by the driver, clamps down on
the brake to slow the car.

Soon after Axel turned sixteen, we headed for Tulsa for
the Chili Bowl. I hadn’t been in three years and wasn’t even racing this year,
this was all about Axel. It was also strictly a “boys” trip.

Sway, Alley, Emma and my mom took the girls to the
Florida Keys for the weekend. This left me traveling with all the males in my
family. Not something I enjoyed.

I had one order for my wife though. No parting with my
sister. She agreed and I hoped she kept that promise.

Despite my concerns for my wife, all that was outweighed
by Axel’s excitement.

The entire plane ride you could see the excitement in his
eyes but you could also see the nervousness peeking through at times.

The racing started with hot laps and practice on Monday
with the final A-Main event on Saturday. Wes flew us to Tulsa on Sunday
morning. Axel’s midget was already there waiting for us, courtesy of Tommy and
Justin’s cousin Greg.

After a half-assed continental breakfast Monday morning,
we were on our way to the Tulsa Expo Center to get Axel registered.

My brother had other ideas and was acting like a retard
while trying to get free bagels from the Embassy Suites where we were staying.

“C’mon Spencer,” I groaned. “for once
...
act normal.”

I just wanted to get to the track and here’s my idiot brother
who is forty-three years old, is coning innocent hotel clerks out of ten
dollars’ worth of bagels.

“Not possible,” Cole, Spencer’s youngest, guffawed with a
smile. “He’s incapable of it.”

Still arguing, we all piled into a cargo van Alley rented
for us.

“People are going to assume you’re some kind of
...
weirdo stealing bagels like that.” Aiden
told him eating a package of peanut M&M’s he stole from the counter in the
lobby. He wasn’t any better.

“Oh, and what will they think of you?” Spencer snorted; angry
he didn’t get his bagels.

“Well, based on the tightness of these damn jeans, they
are going to know for a fact that I am hung like a fucking horse. Where did
these come from?”

“Your wife probably,” Spencer replied ripping the candy
from his hands. “That’s what you get for letting her buy your clothes.”

Axel didn’t say anything while all this was going on.
Casten tried to provoke him but he never responded. He stared out the window at
the snow along the Interstate 44 while his iPod blared in his ears, his head
bobbing to the beat.