The Christmas Children (11 page)

Paul was determined that Jennifer wouldn't learn how much she'd hurt him, and he forced himself to speak in a composed voice. “Carissa and I met about three weeks ago. She and Naomi have traded houses for a few months. Your mother may have told you that three runaway kids have come to Yuletide. Car
issa and I are looking after them until further arrangements can be made.”

“How cozy!” Jennifer exclaimed.

When Paul remained silent, Jennifer stood and said, “Well, you won't be baby-sitting all the time. Perhaps we can have dinner some evening.”

He followed her to the door. “Carissa and I are helping with the town's celebration, so we're very busy.”

“Oh, well, I'll see you around somewhere,” Jennifer said breezily as she strolled down the sidewalk, jaunty and self-assured.

C
arissa sat in the window seat and leaned her head on her knees. Jennifer Colton's physique was the kind Carissa had always dreamed of having. Carissa had resented the fragile features and the light coloring she'd inherited from her mother. As a child, she'd often fantasized about being a tall, slender brunette, and she'd created Cara's Fashions for that type of woman. Jennifer could easily have been one of the cover girls that appeared on her company's brochures.

The woman's arrival today had ruined the friendship that she'd started to enjoy with Paul, ruined whatever relationship might have developed between them. Anyone could tell from the predatory look in Jennifer's eyes that she intended to go after Paul again, as she'd done in her youth. And what were Paul's feelings toward her? He had said he'd loved
her once. Had that love disappeared when Jennifer jilted him and married another man? Carissa doubted it, thinking that might be the reason Paul hadn't been interested in any other women.

Not for the first time, Carissa wished she'd never made this move to Yuletide. She'd been getting along very well on her own, but in just a few days, she'd become dependent on Paul's companionship for her emotional needs. It would be doubly hard when she had to go alone again.

She heard a car leave the driveway and assumed Jennifer was leaving. Carissa dreaded to find out Paul's reaction to seeing his former girlfriend. Her stomach churned with anxiety when she heard his soft tread on the steps. He tapped lightly on the half-closed door. She straightened on the window seat, grateful that in spite of her sadness, she was dry-eyed.

“Come in,” she said.

Paul walked in, and Carissa's suspicion that he was pleased that Jennifer had reentered his life was immediately dispelled.

He said bitterly, “I don't know why she had to show up at this particular time. How she has the nerve to face me I can't imagine.”

So his reaction to seeing her again was anger, Carissa thought. But sometimes anger covered other emotions. He could be angry and still love Jennifer.

Paul paced for a few minutes. “After I got over the blow to my self-esteem when she broke our en
gagement, I was able to realize that her emotions weren't as deeply involved as mine had been. She wanted a husband, and Yuletide didn't offer a large selection. I suppose I was the best one she could find here. When she visited the big city, she found men that suited her more.”

He sat on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe she's back in your life for a reason,” Carissa said. “When I talked to you about my anger and frustration with my mother, it relieved me of a burden I've carried for years. Maybe you haven't resolved your anger, and this will give you an opportunity to do so. Harboring such sentiments for years isn't easy. I know.”

Paul knew one reason he was so angry: for the first time since his attachment to Jennifer, he'd become deeply interested in another woman. Carissa had been on his mind constantly since he'd met her, and it was pleasant to contemplate the rest of the month with her. When they had to part on the first of January, he didn't know what commitments he might want to make.

Now he had the feeling that Jennifer hoped to rekindle their romance. Surely he had enough willpower not to succumb to her charms, which had fascinated him when he was a teenager. But he remembered that Jennifer could be very persuasive and was unsure of how he'd react.

“Maybe she's had time to realize what she gave up when she let you go.”

“I'm not that much of a catch,” he said. “Not with all the possibilities in the Big Apple.”

Knowing how she was drawn to him herself, Carissa wasn't so sure. Obviously Jennifer had everything a woman could desire. Wealth, charm, good looks—perhaps everything except the devoted love of a man. If love had eluded her, then Jennifer might look for it in Paul.

 

Carissa vowed to put aside thoughts of a possible reconciliation between Jennifer and Paul as she helped Yuletide prepare to resurrect the Christmas spirit.

The night that the display of lights around the lake was turned on, Paul and Carissa went with the children to the opening celebration, when the mayor threw the switch to illuminate the Christmas Fantasy show.

The five of them walked the mile-long route to view the wonderland of lights. The largest display represented a tall ice castle. Others represented the joy of the holiday season—an ice-skating family, a group of carolers standing beside a lamppost, a horse-drawn buggy, and many animated toys.

The real meaning of Christmas was commemorated in scenes depicting the birth of Christ—three Wise Men approaching on camels; angels announcing the birth of Jesus to shepherds watching a flock of sheep; and the nativity scene with Mary, Joseph
and the baby in the stable surrounded by several farm animals.

Paul had prepared logs for a fire before they left, and when they returned to the house, while Carissa prepared hot chocolate, he and the children popped corn in the fireplace.

It occurred to Carissa that it seemed unnatural that the children seldom talked about their home life. Their mother had been dead only a short time. Surely they missed her. By refusing to voice their sorrow, were they pretending they were happy?

But tonight, instead of sitting with the others around the fire, Lauren huddled in a deep chair, and Carissa pondered if this sensitive child was remembering the past.

“Don't you want to sit closer to the fire, Lauren?” Carissa asked, touching her hand. “You feel cold.”

“The last time I touched Mommy, she was awful cold,” Lauren whispered, and her eyes filled with tears.

Carissa moved to the chair and sat beside the child.

Tears brimming in her eyes, Lauren asked, “Is she still cold? They buried her in the ground.”

Carissa lifted terrified eyes toward Paul. She didn't know how to deal with Lauren's hurt.

Julie rushed over to pat Lauren on the head, and Alex said, “I told you people don't get cold in heaven.”

“Is that true, Miss Cara?” Julie asked.

Praying for guidance, Carissa tried to remember
the words her grandmother had used to console her when she lost her mother.

“When your mother died, she left her earthly body behind. She has a new, spiritual body, and I'm sure she isn't cold.” Carissa's mouth seemed parched, and she looked to Paul for help.

“From what you've told us,” he said, “your mother had been very sick for a long time. Maybe God took her to be with Him so she wouldn't hurt anymore. Try to think of your mother being in a place where she's happy.”

“She didn't have happiness here on earth,” Alex said bitterly. “I miss her, but I was glad when she died because she wouldn't be sick anymore.”

“That's the way to look at it, Alex,” Paul said. “Why don't you remember the good times you had with your mother—that's a good way to forget her illness.”

“We've got a picture of all of us before Mama got sick, but Alex won't let us look at it,” Lauren said.

Carissa turned on Alex. “Why not?”

“Because they both start crying, and I can't stand it.”

“They need to cry,” Paul said, “and so do you. You're only a boy, even if you've had a man's burden put on you. Where is the picture?”

“With my things.”

“Go and get it. I'd like to see your mother's picture,” Carissa said gently.

Reluctantly, Alex went into his room and came back with a large photo taken by a professional photographer. He handed the picture to Lauren, and Julie hung over her shoulder to look.

“See, that's me,” she said, pointing to a curly-headed toddler on the lap of a sad-faced but beautiful woman sitting in the center of the photo. Lauren and Alex stood on either side of the woman. All three children had pleasant, carefree expressions on their faces, so apparently their home life hadn't been too bad before their mother became ill.

“We couldn't afford anything but the free copy,” Alex said.

“It's a very nice picture, and the next time we go to Saratoga Springs, we'll take this picture and get a copy for each of you,” Carissa said. “Your mother was very pretty. And I know how much you miss her— I was about Julie's age when my mother died.”

“Is there a tombstone on your mother's grave?” Alex asked, his face troubled.

“Yes. Not a big one, but my grandmother marked the grave.”

“There's none on Mom's, except the little metal marker the undertaker put on it.”

Carissa was tempted to tell him that she'd buy a marker for the grave, but she'd have to know where the cemetery was. That might be a sly way to dig into their past, but tonight wasn't the time to be devious. The children needed to be loved.

“Let's sing some Christmas carols,” she suggested. “While we sing, think about the good times you had with your mother. Instead of being bitter about the past, all of us should think about positive things,” she added with a pointed look at Paul.

Smiling, he lifted his hand in a salute to show that he'd gotten her meaning and swung into the opening lyrics of “Joy to the World.”

 

The next day when Jennifer Colton attended the committee meeting, however, Carissa was hard put to follow her own advice.

“I'm so proud of my hometown for resurrecting Christmas,” Jennifer said as soon as the pastor started the meeting.

Even Carissa with her suspicions about Jennifer couldn't tell if the woman was being honest. “But there's one more thing needed to make this celebration like the ones we used to have. We need to have a skating party.” Jennifer looked with glowing eyes at some of the older people in the room, whom she apparently knew.

Paul's heart plummeted, and he turned a despairing glance in Carissa's direction.

“Do you remember the great times we used to have?” Jennifer asked. “We had competitions and gave prizes for the best acts. If you're interested in trying this again, I'll organize it and take care of all the expenses.”

Paul thought Jennifer must have learned about
Carissa's generous contribution for the light display. As he remembered, Jennifer always wanted to outdo everyone else.

When the committee chairman put the idea to a vote, only Paul dissented. Regardless of the way Jennifer's presence had disturbed her, Carissa knew she couldn't let personal bias rule decisions that would be good for the town, so she voted in favor of the skating party.

Carissa didn't think her emotional roller coaster could plunge any lower, but it did when, with a hearty laugh, Belva asked, “You and Paul going to perform like you used to?”

“I hadn't thought of that—” Jennifer said.

Carissa believed she was lying, that this was another ploy to get her hooks in Paul.

“That would be great. What about it, Paul?” Jennifer asked.

Paul was convinced that Jennifer had planned this whole thing with the goal of forcing him back into a relationship with her. In the days of their courtship, Paul had overlooked some of her obvious faults. Disillusioned now, he remembered character traits that hadn't been endearing. The boys had liked Jennifer, but she hadn't cultivated the friendship of girls.

“I haven't had many opportunities to skate lately,” Paul said, “so I'm out of practice. Sorry.”

“I figure skating is like riding a bicycle,” Belva said. “Once you learn how, you never forget.”

“That's true,” Jennifer said excitedly. “And I've
kept up with skating. It won't take long for me to teach you any techniques you've forgotten.”

Paul shook his head. “And I weigh about fifty pounds more than I did when I was in high school. I'm not very graceful anymore, so it wouldn't be much of a performance.”

“But you're still in good shape,” Jennifer said, unashamedly admiring his solid shoulders and trim waist. She reached out and patted Paul's forearm. “It'll be fun.” With glowing eyes, she turned to the pastor's secretary. “Put us down for a performance. I'll come to your office in the morning to make plans about getting others enrolled in the competition.”

Paul felt like a drowning man searching for a life preserver. “I don't know that I'll participate,” he said. “I'll think about it and let you know in a day or two.”

“But time is running out. We'll have to move quickly,” Pastor Erskine said.

“I'll think about it and let you know in a day or two,” Paul repeated evenly, and he looked at Jennifer.

“If you make an announcement indicating that we'll be skating before I agree to it, you'll skate alone.”

An angry look crossed Jennifer's face, but she said with a strained laugh, “All right! All right! But decide as soon as possible.”

 

“Have you had another fight?” Alex said as they were driving home.

Paul turned furiously toward the back seat, but Carissa nudged him in the side.

“Paul and I haven't had the
first
fight, so how could we have
another
one? Just because you're living with us doesn't give you the right to involve yourself in our personal affairs. But I will tell you that Paul has been upset by something that has nothing to do with you or your sisters. So stop being nosy!”

“Yes, ma'am,” he said. “Sorry.”

As they drove the rest of the way in silence, Carissa considered the aunts and uncles who'd not wanted to take all three of these children. She could understand why, because all three of them had distinct personalities. She thought she could deal well enough with any one of the three, but she didn't think she could cope with all three. Natural parents became accustomed to their children's differences gradually, but to suddenly take on the responsibility of caring for three children was daunting. Short of adopting these children, what else could she do for them?

 

After Paul helped with the dishes, he said, “I'm going out for a walk.”