The Christmas Light (4 page)

Avery slings her backpack over her shoulders and grabs her mother’s hand. “What are we having for dinner?”

They walk into the hall and join the many lines of children walking to their bus exit, car pickup line, or afterschool program. “That’s what we need to decide and why I have to go to the store!”

“How about chicken and biscuits?”

Jennifer smiles. “I think that’s possible. I’ll just have to buy one of those chickens that’s already been cooked back in the deli section. Otherwise, it would take half the night cooking the chicken and getting the rest prepared.”

Avery opens the back door of the car. “Well, it is Dad’s favorite, you know?”

Jennifer laughs. “Yes, I’ve been told that a few hundred times.”

As Jennifer points to each item on the shelves Avery puts it into the shopping cart. They make their way through the produce, meat, and dairy sections before standing in line at the deli. Avery is deciding which sandwich meat she wants as Jen picks out a roasted chicken.

“Jennifer?”

She turns to see Miriam, dressed in a long black coat and bright red scarf. There has always been a golden hue of sorts around Miriam, who looks more like a film star from the 1960s than a resident of Grandon. She sets the chicken in her cart and gives Miriam a hug. “How are you?”

“Very well. We’ve missed you down at Glory’s Place.”

Jen sighs. “Time has gotten away from me,” she says, glancing at Avery. “We have the best intentions of coming back.”

Miriam smiles. “And we will gladly welcome you back. Any time.” She leans down and looks at Avery. “You are stunningly beautiful. Do you know that?” Avery looks at her mother and then runs her fingers along the top of the cart. Miriam laughs. “Oh, the broken hearts over this one,” she says, smiling at Jen.

“How is everyone at Glory’s Place? How is Miss Glory? Dalton and Heddy?”

Miriam rolls her eyes at the sound of “Miss Glory.” When she and Gloria first met, Miriam told her that Miss Glory was not the name for a grown woman. “Gloria is a tragic yet comical figure, as always. And Dalton and Heddy are well on the way to sainthood for working with her all these years.” She slaps the handle of the cart and cocks her head, looking at Jennifer. “Gloria and I are actually heading up the Nativity at the church. I have been given the task of finding children for the angel choir and casting the roles.” She looks at Avery and back to Jennifer, smiling. “Do you think Avery would be interested in singing with the angel choir? It’s not just children. There will be adults singing, too.” Jennifer catches Avery’s eyes and begins to speak but Miriam isn’t finished. She leans down to Avery. “Your beautiful red hair would fill that church with vibrant color! And your voice, joined with all the other children’s voices, would float through those doors straight up to heaven.”

Jen covers her mouth to keep from smiling. Avery looks up at her, uncertain of Miriam’s stability and unsure of what she’s asking. “Thank you for thinking of her, Miriam, but I can’t sing and I don’t know if Avery—”

“But I do know! She would be wonderful. And she would be part of something truly beautiful and touching at Christmas. Surely no one could say no to such an experience. As Gloria always says, ‘No one can deny the many miracles of Christmas.’” She groans. “Now I’ve done it! I have quoted Gloria. I have no idea what that implies but it frightens me.” She shakes her head, indicating there is no time to think about that right now. “Please join us. It will do all of us a world of good.”

Jennifer lifts her eyebrows. Somehow, Gloria and Miriam have always had a way with persuasion, and there is a part of her that wants to believe that Avery could be part of the miracles at Christmastime. “But we don’t go to that church and—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Miriam says, nearly bursting with enthusiasm. “They let me in a long time ago so that just proves they have an open-door policy.” She inhales as if to take half of the deli with her and nods, smiling. “I will call you soon and let you know when practice begins.” And as an afterthought says, “We will need help with other things, too. I mean, since you can’t sing but will be driving Avery to practice. Perhaps you would like to help Gloria with costumes. No pressure. Just throwing it out there since you’ll be sitting around and waiting for Avery anyway.”

Jennifer shakes her head, laughing. “I’ll think about it.”

Miriam claps her hands together and then grabs her cart, pushing it away. “Oh, what fun we’ll have! I’ll be in touch soon.”

Avery looks at her mom and frowns. “What did you just do?”

Jennifer isn’t sure but she’s hoping this Nativity will be the little bit of light that she’s been looking for.

FOUR

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

—E
DITH
W
HARTON

Miriam notices the Christmas tree lot where it has stood for the last umpteen dozen years and, on a whim, pulls in. She’s had the same artificial tree for the last ten years and decides right now, at this moment, that she wants a real one.

“I’ve got lots of Fraser firs. Any size you want,” Mr. Elhart says, waving his arm.

Miriam nods and walks through the rows of trees, touching their branches. A teenage girl with her mother can be overheard arguing and Miriam moves closer, practicing her gift of eavesdropping. “This is the last Christmas we’ll have together as this family,” the mother says. “All I’m asking for is a little interest and participation.”

“I didn’t need to help you do this,” the teenager says. Miriam rolls her eyes, listening. Teenagers never want to help with anything.

“You didn’t need to come but I
wanted
you to come. Everything will be different next year. We’ll be in a new state. The family will be different. I just wanted one last…” Miriam strains to hear but the mother’s voice has faded to a whisper. Miriam’s mind races as she wonders what is happening in the family that will change it so drastically. She continues to browse through the trees, pretending not to listen, when the girl steps into her row. Her stomach has taken on an orbit of its own and Miriam understands why the mother has grown quiet. She feigns the greatest interest in each needle and branch of the tree in front of her as the girl passes behind her.

“When are you due?” Miriam hears herself asking.

The young girl looks at her, sizing her up before she answers. “The beginning of February.”

“A New Year’s baby! A new year, a new start, and a new life. How very exciting!” The girl tries to smile and her mother steps in beside her. Miriam smiles at her. “I’m Miriam Lloyd Davies. I help at Glory’s Place.”

The girl’s mother nods. “Oh. I’m familiar with it.”

“We love young mothers there,” Miriam says. She looks at the girl. “And we love their children. My friend Gloria runs it and she’s the closest thing to a saint I’ve ever seen but I will deny saying that if you ever tell her.”

“Thank you,” the mother says. “But we won’t be here much longer. We’ll be moving to Arizona in February. We had planned to move this month but then thought we should wait until Kaylee has the baby.”

Miriam watches as Kaylee shrinks back, flinching at her mother’s comment. In an uncharacteristic manner Miriam takes hold of the girl’s hand and looks at her. Kaylee’s eyes, drowned in the understanding of what is growing inside her, are glistening and pitiful. “This will be an extraordinary moment for everyone involved and the thought that God is always smirking and angry will be gone.” Kaylee’s mother notices the tears in her daughter’s eyes and wraps her arm around her, pulling her close. Miriam releases the girl’s hand and steps back, feeling out of place. “My very best to both of you.” She begins to back away when words form inside her chest and gallop through her mouth as if they are stretching out their necks at the Preakness. “This is a crazy thought but I’m wondering if you’ve ever had any desire to be in a Nativity?”

*   *   *

“You asked a pregnant girl to be Mary?”

“Yes, Gloria! For a dozen times now … Yes! Yes, I did.”

Gloria dries a bowl and hands it to Miriam. “Put it in that cabinet,” she says, pointing with her head. “Do you know the story of the Nativity? Mary
gives
birth.”

Miriam sighs, closing the cabinet on the bowl and taking a pot from Gloria. “But she was pregnant a whole lot longer than she was giving birth. I am so tired of seeing thirty-year-old Marys. She was a teenager. I saw a teenager and asked her.”

Gloria dries a handful of forks and spoons and hands them to Miriam. “And she said yes?”

Miriam throws the silverware into the drawer. “Oh, no! Absolutely not.” She closes the drawer and leans against the counter. “I don’t know what it was but there was something about that girl. She and her mother were there arguing and the next thing I know I saw this huge pregnant belly and was holding her hand.”

Gloria stops her work. “You held her hand?”

Miriam nods.

“Did she spontaneously combust?”

Miriam throws her head back and laughs. “I don’t know what happened but when I looked at her I just felt something, and I’m—”

“Not prone to feelings?”

Miriam swats her with the dishtowel and shakes her head, waving her hand in the air as if it would make Gloria disappear.

Gloria sighs, also shaking her head, taking it in. “You reached out and held someone’s hand. That whole situation is just one of the miracles of Christmas!”

Miriam reaches for a cup from the cupboard. “I knew you would say that. I even quoted you today to Jennifer De Luca and her daughter and to Ray Elhart, the Christmas tree farmer.”

“Why did you quote me to the Christmas tree farmer?”

Miriam’s eyes bug out as she looks at Gloria. “Because I told him he looked like a shepherd and if he chose to be a shepherd in the Nativity then he might possibly be part of one of the miracles of Christmas.”

Gloria stops wiping the stovetop and squeezes her temples between her fingers. “You actually told a man he looked like a shepherd and that wasn’t offensive to him?”

“Had you said it, yes, it would have been offensive, but from my mouth it sounded as if he was a king about to survey his kingdom.”

Gloria laughs, scrubbing harder. “And he said yes?”

Miriam pours coffee into her cup and sits at the table. “No. I was zero for two at that Christmas tree lot. He lives twenty miles away on a farm, you know, with the trees and the cows. Not that that had anything to do with him saying no, but he is quite busy tending to the cows in addition to cutting down trees. He did say he would come to the Nativity because it just so happens he has provided a tree for the church’s lobby for the last several years. Old hunting buddies with Pastor Bill. I did, however, find Joseph changing my oil today.”

Gloria sits at the table. “There are so many places I could go with that but I won’t!”

“You asked Ryan to help build the sets, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did, and he said yes!” Gloria makes a grunting sound in the back of her throat and spins a napkin on the table in front of her. “That boy is like an empty room.”

Miriam narrows her eyes and tilts her head. “Is that one of your Georgia Southernisms? Because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“He’s like a dry twig hanging from a high branch.”

Miriam shakes her head and raises a hand in the air. “Honestly, Gloria! How does Marshall understand you? Just speak English.”

Gloria grins and swipes the napkin back and forth on the table. “He’s lonely and I feel awful for him. When he married that woman he thought it was for keeps. He probably thought the crockpot was for keeps, too, but he was wrong on both counts.”

Miriam presses her palms into her forehead and groans. “Again with the crockpot. Ryan is a good guy. Hard worker. Good dad. That can go a long way in this world.”

The front door opens and Sofia stamps her boots on the rug as if stomping out a brush fire. “We were just talking about you!” Gloria says. “How was the first day of house hunting? Did Susan show you some nice homes?”

Sofia slings her coat to her father and steps inside the kitchen. “I liked one of them,” she says, holding up a tiny finger. “It had three bedrooms, a big backyard, and a cool basement with black-and-white tile for playing in! I’ve never had a basement. Then we visited the school I’d go to and got to walk around. They have a computer lab and a big art room and a huge playground.”

“It sounds perfect,” Miriam says, winking at Ryan. “And how exciting is it knowing that you could be so close to your old aunt Gloria and her vibrant friend Miriam?” Gloria moans and Ryan smiles. “We were just talking about the Nativity before you walked in.”

“You can call off the dogs, Miriam,” Ryan says, pulling a glass from a cupboard and filling it with ice. “I already said I’d help.”

Miriam smiles, watching Sofia. “I know that but I was thinking of Sofia. You know, you would be perfect for the angel choir.”

“I can’t sing,” the little girl says, keeping her head tilted like a doll’s.

“That’s never stopped anyone before! Just turn on any radio station and listen for a few minutes,” Miriam says. “You will be just the addition we’re looking for and your old auntie Gloria here will be making an adorable costume for each one of you.”

“I guess I could,” Sofia says, looking at her dad.

Miriam claps her hands together and presses one cheek and then the other to Sofia’s, causing her to scrunch up her face. Gloria laughs, watching her. “You’ll get used to her, Sofia. You’ll find out that being around Miriam feels a lot like a sickness.”

Ryan laughs, sitting down at the table and pulling Sofia onto his lap. His aunt and Miriam always make him feel as if something great and promising is about to happen, just beyond the next door. He is beginning to feel as if the biggest turning point in his life is less likely to be the day he walked down the aisle or when Sofia was born or even the day that Julie left him. The real turning point is more likely to be this one with its hope of new and opening doors.

FIVE

The best way out is always through.