The Christmas Tree Guy (35 page)

“Charlie, sweetheart, why don’t you tell me about your picture?” She knelt to look in the little boy’s eyes.

“This is you and me and Travis and Grammie and Grandpa, and Daddy is right here beside Travis.”

“Okay, honey, but who is this right here beside Mommy holding her hand? I see you and Travis over here,” she pointed to the twins on the picture.

Looking at his mom and then glancing at Matt, Charlie moved closer to Sydnee and whispered in her ear, “Quinn.”

A little taken aback by the response, Sydnee looked at Charlie and then at Matt and back at Charlie. “Oh,” she said softly. She knew Quinn had made an impact on her life but obviously he’d done the same with the boys. “Sweeties, it’s almost time for dinner, so why don’t you go wash up and put your backpacks in your room, okay?” she said and the twins ran to their room.

“Interesting pictures, huh?” Matt asked, frowning.

“It’s no big deal, Matt.” Standing up straight, she avoided Matt’s glare.

“No big deal? Sydnee, if you didn’t notice, that white boy was on both of their pictures.” She could see Matt was visibly annoyed by the twins’ artwork.

“Shhhh, keep your voice down, and his name is Quinn,” Sydnee said through clenched teeth, making sure the children were out of earshot.

“They are putting him on family pictures they are drawing in school and you don’t have a problem with it?” She wanted to laugh at the whole situation. Here it was Matt never took one interest in the kids, but the minute they put someone else on their pictures, he was having a fit. If he only knew of all of the pictures they’d drawn that didn’t have him on there at all.

“No, it’s not a problem. Look, Matt, they both got attached to Quinn and he was the first man I introduced them to after you left. Oh, why am I explaining anything to you?” She shook her head walking by him to the kitchen.

“You’re explaining to me because I’m your husband,” Matt spat.

“My EX-husband. Matt, get it through your thick skull you walked out on us, so you really don’t get to say much to me about who I have in my life.”

“Sydnee, I don’t want that wh…I don’t want him thinking he can just take my place with my children,” Matt stopped himself from making reference to Quinn’s skin color when Sydnee glared at him.

“No one is trying to take your place with the boys, Matt. Good grief, when will you stop worrying so much about that and just focus on being a father to them?” His priorities never did seem to line up the way they were supposed to and frankly she was tired of reminding him.

“I wouldn’t have to worry if you weren’t dating him.”

“Well, you’ll be happy to know I’m not dating him anymore,” Sydnee spouted, before she realized what she’d done.

“Really? When did this happen?” She could see his demeanor change almost instantly and she kicked herself for even telling him they were no longer together.

“Matt, it’s none of your business.” She turned to the sink to rinse off a few dishes to place them in the dishwasher.

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you two.”

“I’m just sure you’re sorry,” Sydnee murmured, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, I knew he couldn’t handle you or give you what you need. I’m just glad you came to the realization. I can’t say I’m sad you two aren’t together anymore.” She stiffened, feeling him move to stand behind her. “Especially when I know you and I belong together,” he finished, pulling back her dark hair from her neck and kissing the soft skin below her ear. “You remember how good we were together,” he whispered against her lobe.

Shuddering at the way his lips felt on her skin, Sydnee held onto the countertop feeling Matt pressing his body against hers, taking his hands and rubbing them up and down her arms.

“Matt, stop,” she stammered, as her eyes flittered closed.

“C’mon, Syd,” he whispered softly. “You know how good it can be. Don’t fight it.” His right hand found the edge of her blouse and started to inch underneath the material and his fingers splayed across the soft skin on her stomach. “This is what we both want.” He took her ear gently between his teeth and she felt his tongue flick her lobe.

Sydnee could feel her willpower leaving as Matt continued to assault her ear and stroke her stomach, and she fought against all of the carnal feelings she was having before it led her down a path she didn’t want to revisit. Matt knew every hot button to push when it came to her. He moved his hands up to the buttons on the outside of her blouse and when she felt the top button come undone, she pushed away from him.

“Matt, stop,” she turned, pressing her hands against his chest. “Stop.” She straightened her shirt and walked to the other side of the kitchen, rubbing her neck.

“Oh, come on, Sydnee. You and I both know there’s still something there.” Matt took a few steps closer to her.

“Stop,” she put her hand up to keep him from coming closer. “I want you to leave.”

“Sydnee…look, maybe I came on a little strong, but baby, I still love you.”

“Don’t, Matt. You’re with someone else now and I’ll be damned if I’m going to play the other woman. I don’t know why you’re doing this or why you came back, but this…you have to go.” Pointing to the door, she knew she needed him to leave. And to leave her alone. Her heart was racing and she just needed him to go. The
only
reason he’d gotten as far as he did was because of the loneliness she was feeling from missing Quinn.

“You aren’t the other woman, Syd. You are the only woman.”

“Whatever, Matt.”

“Sydnee, as much as you want me to leave, I know you want me to stay. Baby, you and I belong together,” he reached out to her. She was not going to fall for his lines again.

“Stop calling me that. I’m not your baby. Please, Matt, just go.” She was nearly in tears and all she wanted was for him to leave.
Why was he here and doing this to her?

“I do love you, Syd. And I know deep down, you still love me. You and I belong together and I’m going to make you see that, no matter what I have to do.” He started to back out of the kitchen and head to the door and she took a few steps in the same direction to make sure he kept going, avoiding any eye contact with him.

“Matt, just leave.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” He stopped his retreat and she looked up to see him smiling at her. “But, Sydnee, just think about this, okay? Think about how we can build a relationship again and we can raise our boys…together. I know that’s what you want, and so do I,” he added, before heading out of the front door.

“I’m glad you finally decided to come back to class,” Sara said, as she and Sydnee finished a spinning class. Sydnee had finally worked up the nerve to go back to the gym. She caught herself from time to time looking around to see if she could catch a glimpse of Quinn, but she never spotted him. It was just as well. She had no idea what she would say to him if she did.

“Yes, I am too. However, I don’t think my thighs are happy right now.” She couldn’t believe how tight her muscles felt in her legs. They’d both finally decided to try a spinning class after much debate. Of course, now, both were feeling it.

“I know. I think we should keep our old bodies in Pilates and let these young girls have those bikes. I can’t believe how bad that hurt,” Sara laughed, as they gathered their belongings from the lockers.

“Remember, it was your idea,” Sydnee groaned, as she limped out of the gym. “I’ll talk to you later,” she added, as she and Sara parted ways and headed in different directions in the parking lot towards their vehicles.

“Yeah, I gotta go and rub in some
Icy Hot
. Good night.”

Reaching into her bag for her keys, Sydnee laughed and continued to her SUV. Due to the distraction, she didn’t notice the figure leaning against her car and once she located them, she looked up with a start.

“Uh, hi,” she uttered, locking eyes with a pair of familiar orbs. She could feel her heart flutter at the sight of Quinn leaning against her car. His all black tracksuit fit him to a tee. And she briefly thought back to the last time she’d been held in his powerful arms. She instantly wished she could be one of those women who look amazing after a workout. She didn’t look horrible, but just how good could you look after an hour on a bike, sweating bullets? Unconsciously, she straightened her lime green jacket.

“Hi.” Quinn stood slowly, watching her. “You know, you shouldn’t be walking through the parking lot alone at this time of night.”

“I know.” She looked down at the keys in her hands. She turned them over and over again before she looked up and continued. “I used to have a personal body guard that would escort me to my car when I would leave the gym at night, but I kind of did something stupid and pushed him away,” she finished quietly, finally unlocking the door and throwing her bag in.

“Well, honestly, he couldn’t have been that great of a bodyguard if he let you push him away that easily.” She watched him shift his weight from one foot to another and she realized she wasn’t the only one that was nervous.

“I didn’t give him much choice.”

“He should’ve been more understanding of your situation. He shouldn’t have pushed and he shouldn’t have had a problem with you wanting to give your kids’ father a chance to be in their lives,” Quinn paused. “Syd, I had no right to tell you what to do when it came to Matt spending time with Charlie and Travis. He’s their dad and I don’t blame you for wanting them to have a relationship with him. And I should’ve told you about the job opportunity. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” she stopped him from continuing. “You don’t have to apologize. You’ve been so good to us and I should have realized just how attached you were to them. You only want to protect us, and I get it.”

Nodding his head, Quinn took a step closer. “I just want them to be happy. I want you to be happy too.”

“Well, that’s a work in progress,” she muttered. “Uh, so, how have you been?”

“Good.” Quinn stared at her for a moment before continuing. “How are the boys?” He seemed almost too timid to ask her anything. Like he didn’t have a right to.

“Good. They’re growing like weeds.” She thought about the twins and their constant questions about Quinn. It hurt to think of how much they missed him.

“I bet. And, how are you?”

“Good. Work’s been a little busy, but other than that, I’m good.” Both of them were awkwardly trying to figure out what to say to one another and burgeoning silence sprawled between them. “So, how did your interview go? You did interview for the position right?”

“Yes. I did. It went well,” he paused, and looked away before he glanced back at her. “They offered me the job.”

“Quinn, that’s great. You deserve it, you’ve worked hard for it.” Offering up the biggest smile she could muster even though her heart was breaking knowing he would be leaving, she gave him a quick awkward hug. She knew she would regret getting so close to him. The smell of his cologne had her sensory nerves frazzled again. But she couldn’t fight the urge to hold him near her again. Just one more time, to feel the warmth and comfort only his arms could provide.

“Thanks.” Pulling back, he looked almost apologetic for returning the quick affection and he dropped his arms to his sides.

“Are you excited?”

“It’s going to be different. I think I’d be even more excited if you asked me not to go.” His eyes glittered in the mix of moonlight and streetlights and she found herself lost in the shimmering pools, grasping for the right thing to say.

“Quinn-”

“Syd, I miss you. Just tell me not to go and I won’t.” The pleading look in his eyes made her want to ask him to stay, but she knew she couldn’t. There were too many complications. Too much to overcome and she was afraid he would realize he made a mistake later on down the road and she shook her head.

“I can’t. You deserve this chance and I…I won’t hold you back from it.”

“Then if you won’t ask me to stay…come with me?” Her eyes got big at his request and she gasped. At a loss for words, she wasn’t sure she’d quite heard him right and she finally found her voice.

“What?”

“Come with me. Syd, I want to be with you. I don’t want to be without you and the boys anymore. Let me be there for you and them. Let me take care of you.” Her heartbeat bounced off rhythm and she stood speechless.
Did he just ask me to go with him?
He couldn’t possibly know what he was asking.

“Quinn…I don’t…I don’t know what to say.” Diverting her eyes to the ground, she made sure her feet were still solidly on the asphalt because she couldn’t feel them. She couldn’t pick up and move. Could she? His serious stance had her quivering and possessively grasping for something to say. She’d never expected him to ask her to go with him. “I can’t just leave Louisville. I have a life here.”

“You can honestly say you don’t have feelings for me and you don’t want to see where this can go?”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, Syd, what isn’t fair is you not giving me a chance to love you. To give you the life you deserve. I’m standing here pouring my heart out to you when everything in me is screaming for me not to.” He stopped and took her trembling hands in his. “I’m afraid of putting myself in a position like I was in with Lexie. I don’t want to neglect you like I did with her. I don’t want to be like my dad.” Looking into his eyes, Sydnee finally understood why Quinn had been so adamant about not leaving and why he had such a bond with the boys. Yes, he was going to miss them, but he was most afraid of turning out exactly like the man he had held contempt for during his childhood. He’d been blaming himself for his break up with Lexie, and fighting against becoming just like his father. “But, I love you, don’t you get that?” She heard the faint crack in his voice from the swell of emotion he was fighting so hard to control.