The Click Trilogy (11 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
From: Renee Greene – April 11, 2011 – 8:02 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Guy’s Perspective
Thanks. I was starting to panic a bit. But, you’re right. He might be under a major deadline or something. Good luck meeting your deadline.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 9:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Okay, it’s been three days and he hasn’t returned my call. Maybe there is something wrong with his machine. I’ll email.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 9:07 AM
Subject: A little worried
Hi Matt. Hope you are okay. It’s been a few days since we talked and I was getting a little worried. I also left a message for you on your answering machine. Figure you just didn’t get it. Anyway, give me a call because I’m excited for us to go out again.
From: [email protected] – April 13, 2011 – 12:36 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A little worried
Hey Renee. Yeah, I got your message. I’ve just been really busy. You know, I think you’re a great gal. But, I’m just really not ready for a relationship. I’m really looking to focus my energies on work. Maybe in a few months things will be different and I’ll be able to be involved. But, for right now, I think this just isn’t going to work.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 12:53 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Bastard! Why did I think dating in the online world would be any different than dating in the regular world. Men suck. I feel like such an idiot.
What is wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me? I know I’ve only known him for a few weeks and it seems like Derrick and I were together forever, but it hurts just as badly. And don’t give me that bullshit about it making me stronger and that we learn something from every relationship. What I’ve learned is that a charming, handsome and smart man slept with me and then decided he didn’t want to go out with me anymore. I don’t know how that is supposed to make me anything but depressed.
I just don’t understand. Why would he spend weeks telling me how much he liked me and how much fun he was having? Okay, well, it’s obvious now. He was just trying to get me in the sack. So, that begs the question…do I just absolutely suck in bed or is he just a serial dumper?
And why was I such a sucker? Why did I fall for all his smooth lines and obvious false romanticism?
I’m sitting in my office – thank goodness I’m not in an open cubicle – and I can’t stop crying. I think I’m going home to take a sick day.
From: Shelley Manning – April 13, 2011 – 1:15 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry. He is truly the scum of the earth. You should call that prick and tell him exactly what you think of him. Better yet, I’ll call him and tell him what an asshole he is.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 1:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Thank you for not saying I told you so. I know you were trying to tell me not to get my hopes up and I wasn’t listening. I should have.
From: Shelley Manning – April 13, 2011 – 1:31 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
I’m not worried about being right. I’m worried about you. So, are you going to call him?
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 1:33 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
I don’t think I could stand to hear his voice. I just can’t believe this. I just can’t.
From: Shelley Manning – April 13, 2011 – 1:36 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Well, you’re going to say
something
. At least send him a scathing email to tell him how horrid he has been.
From: Mark Finlay – April 13, 2011 – 2:25 PM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Oh Renee. I’m so sorry. The guy sounds like a total jerk. You deserve so much better. But, we’re not all like this ass or Derrick. There are good guys out there.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 11:56 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Rough Draft
Matt: I didn’t think I would have the nerve to say this to your face or on the phone. Luckily we started this whole thing on email and you cowardly tried to end it that way too. So, I think it’s fitting my final reply to you comes via email as well.
I don’t understand why you spent weeks romancing me only to sleep with me and abruptly end things. I don’t understand how you say things like “The sun should always shine on you so that your smile will last forever” and then overnight decide that work is more important than a relationship.
I deserve better. I deserve someone who is truthful with their feelings and honest in communicating their emotions. At the same time, I deserve someone who holds back on their feelings until it is appropriate to express them, so that they aren’t leading me on. I also deserve what I thought you were…someone who is charming, smart, romantic, caring, thoughtful and honest.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 8:53 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
All I can say is GOOD FOR YOU. I can tell you put a lot of thought, emotion and your fair share of tears into this. Hopefully you feel a bit better. I’m so impressed and think you should send it right away. Would LOVE to know if you get a response.
From: Mark Finlay – April 14, 2011 – 9:16 AM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Wow! I would not want to be on the receiving end of that message. Well done, Renee. Well done.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
I do feel a little better. I think it is really cathartic to be able to put pen to paper – or in this case, fingers to keyboard – and really be able to articulate what you’re feeling.
I think if I had to do this in person, or over the phone, I’d be more of a wreck than I was writing and rewriting this until it was perfect.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:07 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Well, I think it’s fantastic. Heart felt, yet dignified. He deserves far worse. But, knowing you, you don’t want to be too cruel.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Thanks. I didn’t want to have this come across as the rantings of someone dumped. I wanted him to realize that his actions were cruel and unfair.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:23 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Well, I think you did just that. Again, would LOVE to know if he emails you back or calls. Keep me posted. And put that profile back online. A man who really
is
all of those things is out there waiting for you. Speaking of which, whatever happened to Dudley Do Right?
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:25 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
He never emailed me back.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:27 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Oooh, ouch! So sorry, sweetie. Well, certainly his loss. You are clearly too good for him too.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:32 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Do you really believe that stuff? Clearly if I was too good for these guys,
I’d
be the one giving them the brush off.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:34 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Well, I think you’re too good for
me
. Feel better?
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:36 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
A little. ;) Thanks!
From: Mark Finlay – April 14, 2011 – 12:02 PM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Don’t fall over, but I agree 100% with Shelley.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 12:07 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
That was just the laugh I needed. Thanks guys. You’re the best. Okay, back online (RELUCTANTLY), I go. But, I’m in a fragile state. I think cocktails at Flint’s may make me feel better. I’ll call you later to make plans. Love you!
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 12:16 PM
Subject: The Way it SHOULD Be
Matt: I didn’t think I would have the nerve to say this to your face or on the phone. Luckily we started this whole thing on email and you cowardly tried to end it that way too. So, I think it’s fitting my final reply to you comes via email as well.
I don’t understand why you spent weeks romancing me only to sleep with me and abruptly end things. I don’t understand how you say things like “The sun should always shine on you so that your smile will last forever” and then overnight decide that work is more important than a relationship.
I deserve better. I deserve someone who is truthful with their feelings and honest in communicating their emotions. At the same time, I deserve someone who holds back on their feelings until it is appropriate to express them, so that they aren’t leading me on. I also deserve what I thought you were…someone who is charming, smart, romantic, caring, thoughtful and honest.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 12:18 PM
Subject: My Profile
I am writing to request that you please place my profile back online. My ID# is 49628; Screen Name: PRGal1981.
From: [email protected] – April 14, 2011 – 12:20 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My Profile
Profile has been reinstated.
From: Renee Greene– April 17, 2011 – 2:30 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: One more try
Couldn’t sleep, so I logged onto Choose Jews and was scrolling through the eligible bachelors last night and came across another interesting profile. He seems really cool. I pasted an excerpt below. I drive a hybrid and always use an aluminum water bottle. So, I’m going to give it one more proactive try. I’ll keep you posted.
So, you might be wondering why I picked the screen name EarthMan. No, I’m not an alien trying to blend in with you humans. Wouldn’t that be something?! No, I work for the Parks Service on public education campaigns about recycling and composting. I’m pretty passionate about the importance of protecting the earth and have tried to integrate some of the best practices I’ve learned on the job into my daily life. I’m hoping to find someone with a similar dedication.
From: [email protected]/PRGal1981 – April 17 – 9:33 AM
To: [email protected]/EarthMan2011
Subject: Hi
Hi there EarthMan. I saw your profile and thought you seemed like a really interesting, smart and fun person. I was hoping you would check out my profile and then perhaps we can meet. I’ll bring my hybrid! ;)
From: Shelley Manning– April 17 – 10:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One more try
Please
tell me you didn’t email him right after emailing me. No offense, sweetie, but nothing smacks more of desperation than getting an email from a girl at 2:30 am.
From: Renee Greene – April 17, 2011 – 11:32 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One more try
No. I didn’t email him at 2:30 am. Who am I, Tiffany? No, I waited until 9:33 am to be exact.
From: Shelley Manning – April 17, 2011 – 11:56 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One more try
Good girl. Yes, he seems very cool and cute. I will send good positive vibes your way for this one. Mwah! Mwah!
From: [email protected]/EarthMan2011 – April 18, 2011 – 4:42 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re: Hi
You drive a hybrid? Then I’m in. Seriously, I read your profile and love your sense of humor. Let’s meet. Do you know the “O” in Venice? Maybe we could try for brunch on Sunday around 11? Oh, and my real name is Danny.
From: [email protected]/PRGal1981 – April 18, 2011 – 6:02 PM
To: [email protected]/EarthMan2011
Subject: Re: Hi
Hi Danny. I’m Renee. I’m not familiar with the “O” but love trying new places. I’ll meet you there on Sunday at 11:00. Have a good week.
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 11:18 AM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject:
Looked @ ur profile & u seem like a gr8 MOT. I M A chef so like 2 cook What's ur #?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 19, 2011 – 1:45 PM
To: [email protected]/ChefChad
Subject: Re:
Hi there. It's not too often I meet a guy who likes to cook as much as I do, but I guess when you are a chef there's a big incentive (read: paycheck) to spend time in the kitchen. Where do you work? Where did you train? What do you focus on?
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 2:02 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re:
LOL! M4C? I'll share my kitchen secrets w/ u. *$ Sat?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 19, 2011 – 3:12 PM
To: [email protected]/ChefChad
Subject: Re:
Kitchen secrets? I’m sold! What does Saturday late morning look like for you? Would you want to meet around 10:00 at the Coffee Shack in Brentwood?
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 4:18 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re:
Work till 2, 11?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 19, 2011 – 5:02 PM
To: [email protected]/ChefChad
Subject: Re:
Of course. I forgot that Friday is probably a super busy night. I imagine the social life of a chef must be rough with all of the late night hours and working weekend. 11:00 is great. See you then.
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 5:05 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re:
TTYL
From: Renee Greene – April 19, 2011 – 5:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Kitchen Secrets
Hi guys. Well, I’m back online and have met a chef who wants to share his kitchen secrets with me and a guy who works for the parks department. We’re meeting Saturday at 11:00 at Coffee Shack/Sunday at a restaurant in West Hollywood respectively. I’ll call you both when I get home.
From: Shelley Manning – April 19, 2011 – 6:22 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Kitchen Secrets
Kitchen secrets? Is that code for something sexual I’m unaware of? Hope so for your sake. Have fun!
From: Mark Finlay – April 19, 2011 – 9:26 PM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Kitchen Secrets
A chef? Perfect for you. Happy to be the recipient of these new kitchen secrets, as long as it’s not code for something sexual. LOL! No offense or anything. It’s just that you’re like a sister to me.
From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 20, 2011 – 8:03 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: No such thing as bad PR?
Hi PR Gal. I take it you work in PR, no? I know what you’re thinking. This guy is so intuitive. Yes, it’s true. I pride myself on seeing between the lines. ;) I liked your profile, so check mine out and let me know if you want to chat?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 21, 2011 – 9:56 AM
To: [email protected]/FunDays222
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Hi Barry. Thanks for your email. I must say, you certainly did figure me out right away. You must be really smart. ;) So, here are a few other things for you to think about…
- Who is your favorite Brady?
- If Bionic Woman and Wonder Woman got in a fight, who would win?
- What is the last book you read or are currently reading?
- Aside from what’s in your profile, what else do you like to do?
Looking forward to hearing back from you.
From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 21, 2011 – 11:16 AM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Well, PR Gal. I certainly like the way you think. Your questions are awesome. Here are some answers…
My favorite Brady is Jan. I’m the middle child with an older sister and brother and two younger sisters. Yes, five kids.
My parents certainly were busy. Sadly, my older sister and one of my younger sisters live in DC and Chicago so we don’t see each other that often. But, my brother and other younger sister are local, so we hang out a lot.
Not just a girl fight, but a super girl fight. Love it! This is a hard one. I’ve watched my share of MMA (mixed martial arts, for the uninitiated) and I gotta say, this would be too close to call. I’m not much of a gambler, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable placing a bet on either of these ladies against the other.
Currently reading? Sad to say that I don’t have much time to read. Between work, working out and just taking care of daily life, reading seems to have fallen by the wayside. Hope that doesn’t knock me out of contention for a date with you.
Other interests, huh? Well, to be perfectly frank, I like to have sex…a lot. Hope to hear back from you.
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 12:17 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Oh my! Not sure what to make of this. Does this mean he likes to have a lot of sex or likes to have sex often? How am I supposed to respond?
From: Shelley Manning – April 21, 2011 – 12:19 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Ask him! Would love to see his response?
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 12:31 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
So what do you think of this…
Well, that certainly is a lot to share. So, um, about that last point. Does that mean you like to have a lot of sex, or you like to have sex often?
From: Shelley Manning – April 21, 2011 – 12:33 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Got for it. It’s all anonymous, right?
From: [email protected]/PRGal1981 – April 21, 2011 – 12:41 PM
To: [email protected]/FunDays222
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Well, that certainly is a lot to share. So, um, about that last point. Does that mean you like to have a lot of sex, or you like to have sex often?
From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 21, 2011 – 3:09 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
I like to have a lot of sex…often. So, wanna have a drink?
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 3:14 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Ew! See below. Should I just ignore it?
From: Shelley Manning – April 21, 2011 – 3:26 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
I got bcc’d on his response. Hilarious! I think you should go out with him. He sounds fun.
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 3:28 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Maybe I should just give him your number. ;) From cuddler to nymphomaniac, right?
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 22, 2011 – 4:30 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: CYT
From: Renee Greene – April 22, 2011 – 4:39 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: CYT
Huh? What does CYT mean?
From: Shelley Manning – April 22, 2011 – 4:41 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: CYT
No clue. Let me know when you figure it out. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – April 22, 2011 – 5:56 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: CYT
“See you tomorrow.” Who knew?
From: Shelley Manning – April 22, 2011 – 6:25 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: CYT
Have fun and call me or email when you’re back. I’ve got another date with a guy who we shall refer to as the Human Vacuum. He sort of sucks your tongue in when he’s kissing you. I’m not a fan of the technique, but I’m willing to see what other techniques he’s got lurking in that beautiful bod of his. TTYL as your date tomorrow would say. ;)
From: Renee Greene – April 23, 2011 – 2:28 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Not Gr8!
Ugh! Chad is a serial texter. I need a frickin’ translator to decipher his emails.
He must have gotten and responded to a dozen - and though I'm prone to exaggeration when it comes to complaining about my dismal love life, I'm likely underestimating here – a dozen texts during our date. He even snapped a picture of me and posted it on his Facebook page right then and there.