The Commitment (2 page)

Chase

“Momma!” JT’s voice cries out, waking me from my broken sleep in the chair I fell asleep in.

Before I can fully process, Sophie’s eyes pop open and she begins trying her best to calm him.

“Aunt Sophie’s here,” she whispers, gently pulling him back into her arms. “I’m right here, Sweet Pea.”

“I want Momma,” he cries, effectively breaking my heart.

“I know, Baby,” she says softly, her voice thick as she raises up, bringing him with her. “I know.”

After leaning down to kiss her hair, I visit the bathroom and start the coffee in the small pot the hotel provided. When I make my way back out to them, I’m relieved to see he’s managed to fall back asleep.

Once she’s made sure he’s settled, Sophie lets out a low sigh and stands slowly, careful not to wake him.

“Good morning, Baby,” I whisper as I pull her into my arms, leaning down to press my lips to her neck.

“Morning,” she responds softly, leaning her head against my chest. “Did you sleep?”

“Some,” I tell her, gently rubbing her back and holding her tightly.

“Can you stay with him for a few minutes?” she asks me after a long moment. “I need to use the bathroom and call to check on Ana.”

“Of course,” I answer immediately, releasing her and watching her walk towards the bathroom.

She spends a few minutes talking to Ana, her soft voice slipping into the room occasionally. I want to talk to her about the pregnancy tests we found in the office, but I know right now just isn’t the time. Besides, the more I consider it, the more I’m sure the test isn’t hers. I already know the chances are slim for us to ever have children. If there was any chance my girl was pregnant, I have every confidence she would have already mentioned it to me. By the time she finally emerges, I’ve already scrapped the thought as her teary eyes meet mine.

After glancing at JT to make sure he’s still sleeping soundly, she takes a sip from the paper coffee cup she’s holding and settles across my lap.

“They only gave us one so we have to share,” she says softly, handing the cup over to me.

“You’re probably gonna get cooties if you share with me,” I whisper into her hair, attempting to lighten her mood.

“Good,” she sniffs, nestling into my chest. “I love your cooties.”

“I love your cooties, too, Baby,” I sigh, setting the coffee on the table beside us and resting my palm on her thigh, squeezing affectionately.

She gently bites my chin before resting against my chest again and letting out a deep sigh, squeezing me tighter.

“This is going to be so hard, Chase,” she says eventually.

“I know, Sweetheart,” I whisper, keeping my tight grip on her. “But we’ll get through it together. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I don’t know how you’ve done it, but I do know if anyone can get through this, it’s you, Sophie.”

“Well, thanks, but you can get through a lot when life doesn’t give you much of a choice,” she whispers, her voice soft and broken.

Pulling away to find the emerald eyes that consume my soul, I brush my thumb over her cheek, wiping her tears away.

“I’m just tired, Chase,” she admits as she swipes the back of her hand across her face. “I’m so tired of strong being my only option.”

“I know, Baby.”

“When you’re forced to be strong, everyone just assumes you’re going to get through everything,” she cries. “They never ask if you’re alright, they just assume. They say stupid shit like, ‘you’ve got this’ when I don’t. I so don’t have this. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do, Chase.”

“Come here, Baby,” I whisper into her hair as her cries begin to overtake her. Carefully twisting her body, I move her to straddle me and she quietly begins to sob against my shoulder.

“Sophie,” I whisper into her hair, her sadness ripping at the seams of my soul. “I’ve got you, Baby.”

Holding me as tightly as she can, she tries her best to be quiet so she doesn’t wake JT. I hum gently into her hair, pressing my lips against her skin every so often and rocking her as her chest heaves with her silent sobs.

When she finally settles a few moments later, she pulls away from me slightly, sitting back on my legs to face me. Her gorgeous green eyes are puffy from crying as she lifts the bottom of her long sleeved T-shirt to wipe her face clean.

“Sorry,” she whispers, causing me to shake my head at her.

“Hush, Baby,” I tell her, running the pad of my thumb over her trembling lower lip. “Come here.”

Gripping the back of her head gently, I lean down and press my lips to hers, holding her eyes.

“You okay?” I whisper against her mouth.

“No, I’m really not,” she confesses as she slowly shakes her head before giving me a gentle smirk. “But thank you for asking.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispers, searching my eyes before wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly.

Sophie

The next couple of days pass us by in a haze. Between funeral arrangements and trying to care for JT, I’m an emotional wreck by the morning of Lucy’s service.

Since we’d arrived in Camden, we’d learned that Lucy had not only fallen off the wagon, she’d fallen hard. After months of sobriety taking its toll on her, she’d had a moment of weakness the night she died. Once she’d had JT tucked away in bed, she made herself a drink and never stopped. Eventually, she’d consumed so much that her body just couldn’t handle it anymore. The next morning when he woke, JT found her and dialed 9-1-1.

After he’d woken up that first morning in the hotel, we decided to take up my Aunt Deb on her offer to stay at her house. While I knew taking JT back to the house wasn’t something I was willing to do, staying in a hotel room wasn’t ideal either.

Once I have him dressed for the service and eating breakfast with my aunt, I walk into my old room, unable to fight the urge to smirk when my eyes find Chase.

His large, six foot four frame is leaning back on the pale pink comforter that’s still in place on my old daybed. His head is resting against a purple butterfly pillow as he takes in the posters that still adorn the wall from my high school days.

“Have I been sleeping under this all week?” he asks, not meeting my eyes as he takes in the huge Lenny Kravitz poster on the ceiling above my bed.

“Afraid so, Sugar Lips,” I admit, lying next to him.

“Jesus,” he groans, rubbing his hand over his eyes before finally turning to face me. “Were you looking at that last night when we…”

“No!” I cut him off in a harsh whisper, rolling my eyes. “First of all, just…
No
. Second, you’re a horrible secret keeper.”

“Yeah, well with all that noise you were making, I didn’t really think we were keeping it a secret anymore,” he smirks, causing me to pinch his nipple. “Ouch! Shit! Stop, Baby! I’m sorry!” He pushes my hand away, letting out a chuckle. “You’re vicious, woman!”

“Serves you right,” I say giving him a small smile.

“Hmm… There she is,” he whispers, leaning over to kiss me gently on the lips as he rests his palm over my stomach. “I’ve been missing those dimples.”

Running my hand over his light stubble, I let out a small sigh, wishing we could stay locked away for the rest of the day. As though he can read my mind, he presses his lips to the crook of my neck and pulls away, resting his forehead against mine.

“Today is going to suck. It’s going to be absolutely horrible, but I’m going to be with you the whole time, okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper, nodding slightly.

“I love you, Sweetheart.”

“I love you, too.”

Kissing me once more, he rises from the bed, pulling me up with him. We dress quickly, not wanting to leave JT much longer since he’s finishing up his breakfast.

When we emerge from the bedroom, dressed and ready for the service, we make our way to the church where the service will be held. As we pull into the parking lot, I’m surprised to find the others have already arrived. Walking over to where they’re waiting for us by the entrance to the church, I immediately pull Ana into my tight embrace.

“How are you holding up?” I ask her.

“Been better,” she admits, letting out a low sigh. “You?”

“Same.”

“Hey Beautiful Girl,” Jack says quietly as he makes his way over to me, kissing me on the cheek.

“Hey,” I answer, pulling him into a tight hug before taking him in. “You look very nice.”

“Thanks. So do you. Beautiful as ever,” he says, offering me a small smile.

We make it to our seats and within the next half hour, the pews behind us begin to fill with mourners. Shortly before the service begins, a voice I’ve not heard in months speaks my name.

“Soph,” Matt says in a low tone, causing me to lift my eyes from the program I’m staring at, but unable to read.

“Hey,” I whisper, somehow feeling both awkward and incredibly comfortable with him at the same time. Without any hesitation, I stand to hug him, grateful when he wraps his arms around me.

“Hey Babe,” he says quietly, his voice cracking slightly.

“Matt, I’m really sorry,” I offer, hugging him tighter. “I shouldn’t have…”

“Oh, shut up,” he says, squeezing me back with a weak laugh and kissing my hair. “You’re gonna have to do a lot worse than that to get rid of me, Babe.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, pulling away from him and looking up at him. “Are you going to sit with us?”

Staring back down at me and taking in my tearstained cheeks, he rubs my arms affectionately as I wipe my eyes clean. Giving me a sympathetic smile, he slowly shakes his head before answering me.

“No, I’m with my parents a few rows back. I just wanted to see you before everything started,” he says, squeezing my shoulders gently as I nod my understanding. “I’ll find you before you leave, okay?”

Nodding, I resume my seat as Pastor Davis makes his way to the front of the church to begin the service. He spends the next forty minutes talking about the kind of girl Lucy was, the love she had for her family, her friends. Most of all, he talks about the love she had for her son.

JT stays quiet through most of it, occasionally sniffling from his spot between Jack and me. Feeling the kind of sorrow no child should ever have to endure at such a young age roll off of his small frame, I glance over to Chase for reassurance and I find his eyes are already on me.

“Are you ready?” he asks in a whisper and I nod.

The morning we’d made arrangements, Jack had asked me if I’d help him perform a song for the service. I’d agreed immediately, but Chase knows how anxious I’ve been about it.

“Don’t be nervous, Baby,” he says softly, reading my thoughts. “You’re going to do beautifully as always.”

As I squeeze Chase’s large hand in mine, Pastor Davis’ announces that Jack and I are singing and I release a nervous breath.

Taking Jack’s hand I slowly stand, turning away from the aqua eyes that I love more than breathing. I’m terrified as I follow him, but I know this is something I have to do as he guides me to where the microphones are waiting for us.

My stomach is a mess of nerves and I’m an emotional wreck. Jack and I haven’t sung together for years, but as soon as his eyes meet mine and he squeezes my hand in his, all my fear just melts away.

For the first time in months, I feel like I’m home.

Jack

I’ve spent longer than I care to think about dreaming about singing with Sophie again, but I never imagined it would be under these circumstances.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little nervous when Pastor Davis calls us up. The second I catch her gaze though, all of the other shit just falls away like always.

As the first words of Sara Bareilles’ version of the Coldplay song ‘Yellow’ leave her lips, I’m under her spell. When I begin to join her and I hear her breath catch, I squeeze her hand tighter in mine and watch her instantly calm.

For a moment, all the shit that’s happened around us, between us, it just doesn’t matter anymore. If only for the duration of this song, for the first time in far too long as we say goodbye to Lucy, shit isn’t complicated. As the tear falls down her cheek, I gently brush it away and reclaim her hand in mine.

The harmony of our voices, our souls, it all just snaps right back into place and we’re exactly who we were always meant to be.

Ana

After saying our goodbyes to everyone at the church, I take Drake’s hand and we walk to his car in silence. We still haven’t had a chance to discuss the possibility that I could be pregnant. However, with Lucy’s funeral services behind us and everyone heading back to Houston in the morning, I assume it won’t take long for it to come up.

Halfway to the hotel, it seems he’s read my mind when he squeezes the hand he’s holding.

“I’ve made an appointment for you with a doctor in the morning, Love,” he says quietly.

“Thank you.”

“I know that you’ve been through a lot these past few days and I’ve been trying to respect that,” he starts. “But we’re going to have to discuss this eventually. I’d prefer we do so before your appointment.”

“So would I,” I admit.

“Good,” he says quietly, squeezing my hand again as he pulls into a parking space and looks over at me. Letting out a small sigh as he takes me in, he leans over to give me a soft kiss on the forehead before lifting my chin and gently pressing his lips to mine. “Come on, let’s go upstairs and try to relax.”

Nodding slightly, I wait for him to make his way to my side and pull my door open. The black dress I’m wearing is short sleeved and as the air from outside rushes in, a chill runs through me. Noticing, Drake pulls his suit jacket off and slips it up my arms, pulling it closed in the front.

“Thank you,” I say, offering him a nervous smile as he rubs warmth into my arms.

“Of course,” he says, kissing me on the cheek and reaching for my hand.

When we make it to the elevator, I begin anxiously fidgeting as I think about the conversation we’re about to have. I’m not a nervous person by nature, but the very real possibility that our relationship is about to change completely scares the shit out of me.

We’re halfway to our suite when he meets my eyes, stilling my movements.

“Don’t bite your nails, Baby,” he says quietly.

“Yes Sir,” I answer immediately, forcing my hand to the rail behind us.

We take the last few floors in silence and when the doors open, he leads me into the hallway. As we approach the door, I wait for him to remove the keycard from his wallet, absentmindedly switching from foot to foot.

“Analise,” he says, breaking my attention away from the spot on the wall I’m focusing on.

“Yes?”

“Come on, Baby,” he says, reaching for my hand and leading me into the room, removing the jacket from my shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine. You need to take a deep breath and try to relax.”

“I’m sorry. I’m trying to, I’m just…”

When I stop speaking abruptly, the look on his face is one of confusion.

“What?”

Shaking my head subtly, I cover my mouth and turn, running for the bathroom and barely managing to make it in time. When I lean back to rest against the wall, I’m trying desperately to calm my nerves when his deep voice breaks my thoughts.

“Are you alright?”

“I think so,” I say quietly. “I’m sorry, I think I’m finished.”

“I think we can agree that the appointment is just a formality at this point,” he says quietly. “I still think we should talk about this.”

Slowly rising from my spot on the tile, I make my way to the sink and brush my teeth thoroughly before facing him.

“It may have just been my nerves,” I admit in a low voice, following him toward the bathtub. “I’ve been really anxious for the past few days.”

“About talking to me?” he asks quietly.

“Yes, Sir,” I admit, my low tone matching his.

“Analise,” he starts, twisting the knobs and facing me, the sad look in his eyes torturing me. “Above everything else, I’m your fiancé. You have no reason to be nervous about talking to me. You especially shouldn’t be so anxious that you make yourself sick, Baby,” he says in a low voice as he gently pulls me closer to him. “Come here, turn around.”

Reaching for the zipper on the back of my dress, he gently pushes the fabric away before going to work on my bra and panties. Once I’m completely naked, he directs me to the oversized bathtub, his eyes dancing over me as he begins to remove his suit.

“Are you late?” he asks, holding my eyes.

“Yes,” I answer truthfully as I sink into the warm water.

“How late?”

“Four… five days, I think.”

“Has that ever happened before?” he asks, slipping in across from me and leaning back against the bathtub.

“Yes,” I admit.

“Since we’ve been together?”

“No,” I say, slowly shaking my head.

Nodding, he holds my eyes and for a few moments, says nothing and slips into deep thought. Eventually, he breaks the silence with his deep voice.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I was going to. That day in your office, I was going to tell you,” I admit quietly, looking down at my hands. “But I got scared.”

“Please look at me,” he says, pulling my eyes back to his. “Why were you scared?”

“You said you didn’t want children,” I confess.

“You’re right, I did,” he agrees, nodding slightly. “But I also said that I’d do anything for you. I told you if you wanted children, I would give them to you.”

“Yes, but at what cost?” I ask him, my lower lip trembling. “It’s not like I’d be asking for a vacation to somewhere you don’t want to visit or a cat. It’s a baby, Drake, a
child
…” The intensity of the feelings I’m having, the impact they’re having on me causes my eyes to begin to tear up and I instinctively look away and lower my voice to hide the break. “That’s an entire lifetime…”

“So are you, Analise,” he says, stopping my words and gently nudging my chin in his direction to meet my eyes. “So are you.”

“Drake, that’s not fair…”

“I don’t care,” he says, cutting me off again, his azure gaze cutting straight through to my core. “I don’t care, Baby. I just want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy, too,” I manage, no longer able to keep my emotions at bay as a gentle sob moves through my chest. “I’m so scared that we’re going to have a baby and you’re going to feel trapped. I don’t want you to wake up ten years down the road and resent me or hate our child.”

“Come here,” he says, his voice low but firm as he pulls me across the bathtub and onto his lap. “That’s not going to happen.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m sure because I know I could never hate any part of you,” he says in a low voice, holding my face in his hands. “I know I’m shit with words, but you have to know how crazy in love with you I am, Ana.”

The way he whispers my preferred name wreaks havoc on my soul. He’s only ever called me Ana a few times, but the vulnerable way it leaves his lips renders me nearly speechless.

“I’m crazy in love with you, too,” I eventually manage.

“I know, Baby,” he whispers, still searching my eyes and running his fingertips down the side of my neck. “Everything’s going to be alright. Don’t cry, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

He gently presses his lips to mine and I feel the sadness, the anxiety all rolling away. As his lips move over mine, he begins to dip his tongue into my mouth slowly. Winding his hand into my hair, he deepens the kiss and begins massaging my breast, pulling a soft moan from my chest.

The past few days have been so stressful, so emotionally draining that our sex life has taken a huge hit. Between my need for him and everything he’s said tonight, I can’t stop the slow grind that rolls through my hips.

“Hmm,” he hums in approval as his lips skim over my jaw, teasing me. “Does my baby need some attention?”

“Yes Sir,” I mewl against his lips.

Running his thumb over my bottom lip, he stares into my eyes.

“Analise,” he whispers. “Baby, you don’t have to do that right now if you’re not... I’m your fiancé before I’m anything else.”

Holding his gaze, the devotion rolling off of him warms my heart in ways I can’t even begin to describe. Our relationship is unlike any other I’ve had, but I’ve always known that his devotion to me wasn’t conditional on my submission to him. Still, the gentle reminder that he’ll always put my needs before his never ceases to put a lump in my throat.

I know I could easily tell him I want slow lovemaking and he’d give it to me in a minute, no questions asked.

That’s not what I need right now. Right now, I need Drake.

“Are you sure this is what you need right now? What you want?”

“Yes Sir,” I say immediately.

“Okay, Baby,” he whispers against my lips. His dominant gaze returns, holding me in place as he moves his hands to my thighs. Tracing my mouth with his tongue, he rolls his hips, grinding his hard cock against my stomach. “What do you say?”

“Please Sir,” I pant against him.

“Please what, Baby?” he asks, holding my eyes as he bites down on my bottom lip.

“Please fuck me, Sir,” I beg, panting with need. “Please let me ride your cock.”

“That’s my good girl,” he croons, moving his grip to my ass and lifting me onto him in one swift movement.

“Ah!” I gasp as he fills me.

“Hands behind your back,” he orders softly.

Immediately I comply, loving the feel of his large hand restraining my wrists as he begins to drive into me from below. The position forces my chest forward and he leans down, sucking my nipple into his mouth.

Using his free hand, he replaces his grip on my hair, pulling my head back roughly. The action causes another loud moan to leave me, drowning out the sound of the water sloshing around us.

“Is this what my pussy needs, Baby?”

“Yes Sir,” I rasp as he continues to pound into me from below.

“Louder,” he commands.

“Yes Sir!” I shout, my voice nearly a scream as I take every inch of him, surpassing my limit with each thrust.

When he has me just seconds away from my breaking point, he releases his grip on me completely, stretching his arms out across the side of the bathtub.

“Take what you need, Analise,” he husks, holding my eyes as I plant my palms on his shoulders and begin riding him wildly.

As I keep my grip on his shoulders, I lift myself up, dropping down with full force again and again until I’m pulsing around him.

“May I come?”

“Yes, Baby,” he groans out, a dominant smirk of approval on his lips as I throw my head back, screaming his name in pleasure.

I’m still heaving on top of him when he surprises me by lifting me off of his lap. Pushing me into a standing position against the tile, he lifts one leg over his shoulder.

“Fuck,” he pants out before burying his face between my legs. “I have to taste you after
that
.”

The second his tongue makes contact, he lets out a low hum, the effect causing me to moan loudly as my eyes stay down, locked on his.

When he commands me to come again and sucks hard on my swollen clit, my body is left at his mercy. One hand gripping his shoulder, the other slamming against the tile wall, I come furiously for him, watching as he licks me clean.

Standing before my exhausted form, he gently lifts me, wrapping my legs around his waist and pushing into me.

As he begins to pant against my mouth, he grips my thighs tight and commands my release as he gives me his own, filling me. His lips skim over my neck as we come down together and for the first time in days, I feel complete.

Once we’re dry and in bed, he wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to my hair.

“What time is my appointment?”

“Ten.”

“Oh,” I say quietly as he runs his hand over my side affectionately. “Okay.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” I answer quietly, turning in his arms to face him. “I guess I was just hoping it was going to be early enough for you to come with me, but I know you’ve got to be at work.”

“I’m sorry, Love. I tried to get an earlier appointment, but they didn’t have anything open before then.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper, trying desperately to hide my disappointment. “I mean, I’d love for you to come, but I understand.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course,” I manage. “I mean, it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. Like you said, it’s just a formality at this point.”

“Yeah,” he whispers, causing my heart to fall slightly as he nudges my chin up slightly so that my lips are hovering against his. “It’s really too bad you feel that way.”

“Why?”

“Because I already pushed everything back in the morning so I could go with you,” he admits, his lips turning up against mine in the dark.

Before he can say another word, my lips are on his.

Chase

I got to the office early to help keep an eye on everything for Drake so he could go with Ana to her appointment. While we were in Camden, Ana had agreed to help keep an eye on JT while Sophie was working. Until she was done at the doctor though, he’s been hanging out in the office with us. Since we walked in the door, the phones have not stopped ringing.